I would like to make it clear that I, and most of the people in this thread are not making fun of you. We are in fact, just laughing at the situation.
I personally am sorry that you feel as if your first kiss was stolen from you. Being the same way when I was growing up, thinking I had to save any sexual activity for the girl I fell in love with first was silly. There were a lot of girls out there I really liked and turned down because I just didn't 'feel it was right'.
So I understand you there, but I've come to the realization that it was a pretty silly thing to get all panty bunched over.
Sorry, you have to marry that homeless dude now. It's the law.
In some countries you already are married. Just to be safe, find him, and while you're there, turn around three times, and each time you turn around shout "I DIVORCE YOU!" Technically this only works if your spouse is not menstruating, but there's a pretty low chance of that since it was a guy. I'd check anyway, just to be safe.
Whether or not you have to give him half your stuff afterward is a matter of local statute. You might want to consult an attorney.
If the bum gets pregnant, who gets custody of the offspring?
Really, this is the best story. You'll treasure this story later on, when you are explaining to people why your lips rotted off.
Anyway, I hope the real thing delivers everything you wish. Don't freak out when she slips you the tongue, it's supposed to happen that way.
Seriously though, I applaud you for sticking to your romantic ideals. I wish there was more of that in the world.
i had a similar thing happen once. i was on my way to meet a blind date and stopped at a gas station to get cigarettes and a (i can only assume) homeless guy in line behind me with about 5 4-packs of natural ice in his arms threw up all over me. needless to say i stood her up.
Thanks. Now that I've had time to sleep on it I've gotten over it, though I still don't think its funny...that will probably take some time. Just imagine it happening to you and think of the vodka and cigarettes and crummy lips and runny nose and...
But yeah, its cool. I'm just not looking at it as my first kiss since I didn't reciprocate.
And I am 18 (junior in college), which obviously presented some problems with my relationships since I've been so far ahead in school. Now that I'm 18 (I'm told I look 20), that boundary isn't really a problem. I mean, fuck, I was finishing puberty in freshman year.
Oh, and I was being tongue-in-cheek about the fireworks thing. I don't expect the actual kissing to be ohmygodgreat, but the event will be.
All right. Let me get something out of the way. I am romantic. I believe in loving a girl, blah blah blah, which is why I am still waiting for the first kiss. Now I've FINALLY found the girl I want, things have been going great, and I'm going to kiss her tomorrow. I expect fireworks to go off. Seriously.
But here's the fucking cockhole bitch of it.
I went to the 7-11 a few hours ago for a midnight milk run. As I'm getting out my debit card, I'm tapped on my shoulder. I turn around and a big fat disgusting wet slobbery every-fucking-nasty-adjective-you-can-think-of kiss is planted on my lips. Some fucking homeless dude (yeah, a goddamn dude) KISSED me! MY FIRST KISS WAS WITH A HOMELESS MAN. He was seriously tweaking out, so I definitely think he was on something, but goddamn. This is something that will stay with me forever.
I just finished brushing my lips for the 100th time and they are nice and raw and clean and devoid of ick. Please, H/A, help, SOMEHOW. My first kiss was supposed to be very special...I mean, its my FIRST KISS. I am seriously nauseous.
The worst part of it is that I could have probably stopped it, if my eyes still weren't focused on entering my pin number when I turned around. Ok, maybe that wasn't the worst part, BUT FUCK.
Oh my god....ha..ha ha ha ha....
ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA!!
That is so golden. I've never even heard of that ever happening to anyone before. Life is hilarious.
Also, ew. Funny that it wasn't me, but that must have been a gnarly experience.
Did you just stand there mesmerized as the hobo kissed you? I would imagine that your first reaction to a surprise smelly kiss would be to snap your head back and cease it immediately. Which would make it more of a tiny peck, or headbutt with the lips, if those classifications will reassure your romanticism.
Thanks. Now that I've had time to sleep on it I've gotten over it, though I still don't think its funny...that will probably take some time. Just imagine it happening to you and think of the vodka and cigarettes and crummy lips and runny nose and...
But yeah, its cool. I'm just not looking at it as my first kiss since I didn't reciprocate.
And I am 18 (junior in college), which obviously presented some problems with my relationships since I've been so far ahead in school. Now that I'm 18 (I'm told I look 20), that boundary isn't really a problem. I mean, fuck, I was finishing puberty in freshman year.
Oh, and I was being tongue-in-cheek about the fireworks thing. I don't expect the actual kissing to be ohmygodgreat, but the event will be.
On the bright side, you're experienced now. You know what to expect, so you're not going to lose your nerve when the time comes with your girl. Keep that knowledge with you when you go out with her next time.
But I'd still go talk to a doctor, though, especially if the bum was as gross as you say he was.
And, I guess this is more common than you'd expect, because upon talking about it with a friend of mine, he reminded me of a mutual friend who was bitten by a drag queen on the street about 10 years ago.
We used to joke that he had contracted transvestitis
Thanks. Now that I've had time to sleep on it I've gotten over it, though I still don't think its funny...that will probably take some time. Just imagine it happening to you and think of the vodka and cigarettes and crummy lips and runny nose and...
But yeah, its cool. I'm just not looking at it as my first kiss since I didn't reciprocate.
And I am 18 (junior in college), which obviously presented some problems with my relationships since I've been so far ahead in school. Now that I'm 18 (I'm told I look 20), that boundary isn't really a problem. I mean, fuck, I was finishing puberty in freshman year.
Oh, and I was being tongue-in-cheek about the fireworks thing. I don't expect the actual kissing to be ohmygodgreat, but the event will be.
Man, I know a guy who's 18 (iirc) and a junior, yeah that really does suck for the whole making friends and relationships sort of shit
Depends on how you approach it - if you work, play sports or are part of some club, then your social/love life can be pretty good. My education's also not-quite-ordinary, but I'm fairly active outside of uni, so my only real trouble is getting a job because I'm 18 and overqualified.
Also, I want to echo everyone else here: you'll come to cherish this kind of story, especially if you need one at a party. This, of course, depends on the outcome of the tests. :P
But did you happen to notice any sores on his lip, or anywhere else? I'd be a bit worried about a staph infection, but you're probably fine. (Homeless peeps in LA have been known to have some pretty heinous staph infections, and they're highly contagious).
Also, did it move? You know what I'm talking about.
But did you happen to notice any sores on his lip, or anywhere else? I'd be a bit worried about a staph infection, but you're probably fine. (Homeless peeps in LA have been known to have some pretty heinous staph infections, and they're highly contagious).
Also, did it move? You know what I'm talking about.
You're talking about his penis right. The hobo turned him on.:winky:
I think you should get over the whole christian outlook on life and lighten up.
This story is the BEST icebreaker ever!
I didn't see anything in his post that could be construed as some kind of fundamental Christian outlook. Romanticism isn't Christianity and even if it were, maybe he wouldn't want to do so?
Dude said he was going to kiss the girl "tomorrow" which was a couple days ago now.
Did you have your magical experience or were you so traumatized you've sworn off physical contact now?
Does the internet have to know? I mean, Tortoise makes more H/A threads than the rest of PA together, but I don't think we have to know everything about the young man.
Does the internet have to know? I mean, Tortoise makes more H/A threads than the rest of PA together, but I don't think we have to know everything about the young man.
1.) You're reading page 3 of a thread so you apparently want to know more.
2.) I don't recognize his name or know he makes a bunch of threads so you obviously are way more invested than I.
3.) Him getting kissed by a homeless guy is the funny part, his neurosis making him feel like it was his "first kiss" and that he planned a particular day to kiss a girl was the interesting part.
Thanks. Now that I've had time to sleep on it I've gotten over it, though I still don't think its funny...that will probably take some time. Just imagine it happening to you and think of the vodka and cigarettes and crummy lips and runny nose and...
But yeah, its cool. I'm just not looking at it as my first kiss since I didn't reciprocate.
And I am 18 (junior in college), which obviously presented some problems with my relationships since I've been so far ahead in school. Now that I'm 18 (I'm told I look 20), that boundary isn't really a problem. I mean, fuck, I was finishing puberty in freshman year.
Oh, and I was being tongue-in-cheek about the fireworks thing. I don't expect the actual kissing to be ohmygodgreat, but the event will be.
Man, I know a guy who's 18 (iirc) and a junior, yeah that really does suck for the whole making friends and relationships sort of shit
It's about to happen again since most people turn 21 junior year. Everyone is going to start going to bars and stuff, and he won't be able to get in :P (Unless you're in a cool country where the drinking age is 18...)
Dude said he was going to kiss the girl "tomorrow" which was a couple days ago now.
Did you have your magical experience or were you so traumatized you've sworn off physical contact now?
Does the internet have to know? I mean, Tortoise makes more H/A threads than the rest of PA together, but I don't think we have to know everything about the young man.
I just looked and wow you're right. He makes threads in H/A about everything from this to if he should buy a blu-ray player. Most of his posts/threads are H/A.
Posts
Besides, this makes for a great story.
However considering how much you've put it on a pedestal, and this happened, this is a much better story.
Also betting someone put him up to it.
I personally am sorry that you feel as if your first kiss was stolen from you. Being the same way when I was growing up, thinking I had to save any sexual activity for the girl I fell in love with first was silly. There were a lot of girls out there I really liked and turned down because I just didn't 'feel it was right'.
So I understand you there, but I've come to the realization that it was a pretty silly thing to get all panty bunched over.
You could regret your first-kiss-meant-as-a-first-kiss
buddy how old are you
The next one will likely be better.
Keep your options open and check out some people, look around.
Although oddly enough I've found a lot of time these things happen when you least suspect it too.
You did kinda learn that the wrong way though...
If the bum gets pregnant, who gets custody of the offspring?
Really, this is the best story. You'll treasure this story later on, when you are explaining to people why your lips rotted off.
Anyway, I hope the real thing delivers everything you wish. Don't freak out when she slips you the tongue, it's supposed to happen that way.
Seriously though, I applaud you for sticking to your romantic ideals. I wish there was more of that in the world.
i had a similar thing happen once. i was on my way to meet a blind date and stopped at a gas station to get cigarettes and a (i can only assume) homeless guy in line behind me with about 5 4-packs of natural ice in his arms threw up all over me. needless to say i stood her up.
But yeah, its cool. I'm just not looking at it as my first kiss since I didn't reciprocate.
And I am 18 (junior in college), which obviously presented some problems with my relationships since I've been so far ahead in school. Now that I'm 18 (I'm told I look 20), that boundary isn't really a problem. I mean, fuck, I was finishing puberty in freshman year.
Oh, and I was being tongue-in-cheek about the fireworks thing. I don't expect the actual kissing to be ohmygodgreat, but the event will be.
Oh my god....ha..ha ha ha ha....
ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA! !
That is so golden. I've never even heard of that ever happening to anyone before. Life is hilarious.
Also, ew. Funny that it wasn't me, but that must have been a gnarly experience.
On the bright side, you're experienced now. You know what to expect, so you're not going to lose your nerve when the time comes with your girl. Keep that knowledge with you when you go out with her next time.
But I'd still go talk to a doctor, though, especially if the bum was as gross as you say he was.
And, I guess this is more common than you'd expect, because upon talking about it with a friend of mine, he reminded me of a mutual friend who was bitten by a drag queen on the street about 10 years ago.
We used to joke that he had contracted transvestitis
Man, I know a guy who's 18 (iirc) and a junior, yeah that really does suck for the whole making friends and relationships sort of shit
Also, I want to echo everyone else here: you'll come to cherish this kind of story, especially if you need one at a party. This, of course, depends on the outcome of the tests. :P
Wow. You're the perfect cure for a funny thread.
But did you happen to notice any sores on his lip, or anywhere else? I'd be a bit worried about a staph infection, but you're probably fine. (Homeless peeps in LA have been known to have some pretty heinous staph infections, and they're highly contagious).
Also, did it move? You know what I'm talking about.
This story is the BEST icebreaker ever!
You're talking about his penis right. The hobo turned him on.:winky:
I didn't see anything in his post that could be construed as some kind of fundamental Christian outlook. Romanticism isn't Christianity and even if it were, maybe he wouldn't want to do so?
which is ace 'cus now it's even funnier.
Did you have your magical experience or were you so traumatized you've sworn off physical contact now?
1.) You're reading page 3 of a thread so you apparently want to know more.
2.) I don't recognize his name or know he makes a bunch of threads so you obviously are way more invested than I.
3.) Him getting kissed by a homeless guy is the funny part, his neurosis making him feel like it was his "first kiss" and that he planned a particular day to kiss a girl was the interesting part.
It's about to happen again since most people turn 21 junior year. Everyone is going to start going to bars and stuff, and he won't be able to get in :P (Unless you're in a cool country where the drinking age is 18...)
I just looked and wow you're right. He makes threads in H/A about everything from this to if he should buy a blu-ray player. Most of his posts/threads are H/A.
This is a question of dire importance.
In my mind, the OP turns - the horny hobo plans a kiss, and the its like one of those surprise kiss moments in the movies.
The kiss holds, the OP's eyes are wide with surprise, then after a second or two, his eyes close and he melts into the hobo's arms.