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advice you would give to yourself in the past

Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
edited July 2012 in Social Entropy++
so it's the future, we're here. we can pay for food with our phones and we can make video calls and people have anonymous sex via the internet. next week, we discover the secret to time travel, but only to past (something about wormholes and two-lane traffic)

if you could go back to a younger you, and then tell lil you one piece of advice, what would it be?

i'd tell 10 year old me to STOP PLAYING WITH KNIVES YOU STUPID IDIOT so as to avoid the trauma of stabbing my own leg

or alternatively tell him to stop listening to so much limp bizkit

rules:
no sexin yourself
no divulging info for financial gain (hey bet it all on the giants this year scotty)
no stopping tragedies, the secret to time travel was discovered because of 9/11
no pooping in the past, future poop does awful things to the earth's atmosphere. clench dem cheeks, k?

Local H Jay on
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Posts

  • Options
    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2012
    Do not buy World of Warcraft

    Sterica on
    YL9WnCY.png
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    ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Don't travel back in time and hold in a poop.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Relax, it'll be fine

    Stop wearing hawaiian shirts and cargo pants. You look like a cunt

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    WeedLordVegetaWeedLordVegeta Registered User regular
    If you want to keep being lazy, prepare for the consequences.

    Also, get your balls checked.

  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Do not buy World of Warcraft

    inscribed in my soul from the moment of my conception

    in words of fire

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    don't let your mate pierce your ear while drunk on your 17th birthday it will get infected and swell up and REALLY HURT

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    exercise

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    I'd just steal past-me's body and do it all over again with future knowledge

    0BnD8l3.gif
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    don't call your teacher 'mummy' when you are 5 causing the entire class to laugh at you for the rest of the school year

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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    fucking do your goddamn homework you stupid son of a bitch

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    don't go out with *names every single ex*

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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    yo did you know you can pay people to like you and diddle your balls?

    get on that, son

    7656367.jpg
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    ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    don't wait until you are 25 before realising you can lift weights and exercise

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    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    Beasteh wrote: »
    don't call your teacher 'mummy' when you are 5 causing the entire class to laugh at you for the rest of the school year

    this was a good episode of recess

    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    I'd just steal past-me's body and do it all over again with future knowledge

    look, if you can get that 2-ton body-snatch-o-tron through the time gate then you earned it

    Local H Jay on
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    wait until we've found the cure for cancer then i'd go back and my mum wouldn't die

    that would be cool

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Don't let yourself be an emotional crutch for others.

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    MaydayMayday Cutting edge goblin tech Registered User regular
    kill yourse

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    HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    On May 30th, 2012, stay the fuck in bed no matter what.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    Who hasn't called their teacher mum at some point?

    Shit, I mean I called my old boss mum and that was like 3 years ago

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • Options
    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Ditch that orange button-up shirt and red dragon tie. If you're going to bleach your tips, do it when it's still actually cool. There's pictures floating around, and I better find those gone when I return to my timestream.

    Try to make things work with her. Try hard. But don't opt for marriage as a fix all. Listen to your gut, don't ignore those red flags. She's worth the love, but not worth the hurt.

    You're bisexual, you've known it, and no amount of brainwashing from that school will change that. Props to you. But come out whenever you're ready, and don't be afraid. You've always chosen your closest friends well; they will love you even more, and be there for you. Your parents, our parents, will react just as you expect them to. Don't let that stop you from being who you are.

    Also, to save you the trouble: A 'job' straight out of college will turn into 7 years of being, for lack of a better term, a stock boy. Your options are, make it to the top of the payscale and get full-time with benefits after that long, or apply yourself more in your senior year, get some scholarships, and go to school. Oh, you don't know what you want? Plants, man, plants. They're gonna be big (in your life).

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    I'd just go back

    the mere sight would be all that it would take to lock past me onto the golden path

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited July 2012
    don't waste ten thousand pounds going to college for a shitty IT course that teaches you nothing you didn't already know from tinkering

    Beasteh on
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    oh, i'd give the me in 6th grade some anti-depressants so i might not fail the 6th grade

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Don't remove your colon, it's Crohn's.
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Do not buy World of Warcraft

    Buy WoW, but hold onto the special edition for ten years then sell it for big bucks.

    And if you must play WoW, kick Steve. He's an irredeemable prick.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    You're not gonna magically get better at dealing with people by avoiding every possible interaction with them and you fucking know that already so cut that shit out.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Don't really need to time travel for that one to be relevant though.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    If I saw my past self, I'd just stare for a while.

    And then, violence.

    YL9WnCY.png
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    alternatingAberrationalternatingAberration I am the milk man My milk is deliciousRegistered User regular
    Douse the dagger in wine. The mercury does nothing.

    xI8QS1g.jpg?1
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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Run away far away

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    AretèAretè infiltrating neo zeed compoundRegistered User regular
    I would say, go to state college instead of private college , saving myself the school loans. But the experience and the friends made make it worth it even years later.

    I would tell college self, don't move out so soon ya damn fool

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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    don't wear rollerblades to school

    seriously, don't. you'll get beat up like, 100% less

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    EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    Do more A-levels.

    Tell people to sort out their own problems instead of letting yourself be an arbiter for stupid goddamn arguments and then complaining about it after the fact to completely different people

    Oh, and in December 200X don't talk to anybody. At all. You'll have a giant pointless fall out that'll blow up your social circle irreversibly

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
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    HammerHorrorHammerHorror Registered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    Do not buy World of Warcraft

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Also: Put all your money on Alabama to win the national championship after they lose to LSU in 2011.

    All your money.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    obligatory

    your kids! we gotta do something about your kids!

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    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Lock your door. That time. And that time. And that time too.

    Oh god that time too. Shit man, when did you/I discover how locks worked?

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    TefTef Registered User regular
    The answers for the big test are

    A B D D D D E C B

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    I'd probably fuck with my past self and tell him I'm his son.

    Trust me, he's stupid enough to fall for it.

    YL9WnCY.png
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    when you and her break up

    fucking MOVE OUT

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