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advice you would give to yourself in the past
Local H Jay
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
so it's the future, we're here. we can pay for food with our phones and we can make video calls and people have anonymous sex via the internet. next week, we discover the secret to time travel, but only to past (something about wormholes and two-lane traffic)
if you could go back to a younger you, and then tell lil you one piece of advice, what would it be?
i'd tell 10 year old me to STOP PLAYING WITH KNIVES YOU STUPID IDIOT so as to avoid the trauma of stabbing my own leg
or alternatively tell him to stop listening to so much limp bizkit
rules:
no sexin yourself
no divulging info for financial gain (hey bet it all on the giants this year scotty)
no stopping tragedies, the secret to time travel was discovered because of 9/11
no pooping in the past, future poop does awful things to the earth's atmosphere. clench dem cheeks, k?
if you could go back to a younger you, and then tell lil you one piece of advice, what would it be?
i'd tell 10 year old me to STOP PLAYING WITH KNIVES YOU STUPID IDIOT so as to avoid the trauma of stabbing my own leg
or alternatively tell him to stop listening to so much limp bizkit
rules:
no sexin yourself
no divulging info for financial gain (hey bet it all on the giants this year scotty)
no stopping tragedies, the secret to time travel was discovered because of 9/11
no pooping in the past, future poop does awful things to the earth's atmosphere. clench dem cheeks, k?
Local H Jay on
0
Posts
Stop wearing hawaiian shirts and cargo pants. You look like a cunt
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Also, get your balls checked.
inscribed in my soul from the moment of my conception
in words of fire
get on that, son
this was a good episode of recess
look, if you can get that 2-ton body-snatch-o-tron through the time gate then you earned it
that would be cool
Shit, I mean I called my old boss mum and that was like 3 years ago
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Try to make things work with her. Try hard. But don't opt for marriage as a fix all. Listen to your gut, don't ignore those red flags. She's worth the love, but not worth the hurt.
You're bisexual, you've known it, and no amount of brainwashing from that school will change that. Props to you. But come out whenever you're ready, and don't be afraid. You've always chosen your closest friends well; they will love you even more, and be there for you. Your parents, our parents, will react just as you expect them to. Don't let that stop you from being who you are.
Also, to save you the trouble: A 'job' straight out of college will turn into 7 years of being, for lack of a better term, a stock boy. Your options are, make it to the top of the payscale and get full-time with benefits after that long, or apply yourself more in your senior year, get some scholarships, and go to school. Oh, you don't know what you want? Plants, man, plants. They're gonna be big (in your life).
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
the mere sight would be all that it would take to lock past me onto the golden path
Buy WoW, but hold onto the special edition for ten years then sell it for big bucks.
And if you must play WoW, kick Steve. He's an irredeemable prick.
And then, violence.
I would tell college self, don't move out so soon ya damn fool
seriously, don't. you'll get beat up like, 100% less
Tell people to sort out their own problems instead of letting yourself be an arbiter for stupid goddamn arguments and then complaining about it after the fact to completely different people
Oh, and in December 200X don't talk to anybody. At all. You'll have a giant pointless fall out that'll blow up your social circle irreversibly
All your money.
your kids! we gotta do something about your kids!
Oh god that time too. Shit man, when did you/I discover how locks worked?
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
A B D D D D E C B
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Trust me, he's stupid enough to fall for it.
fucking MOVE OUT