So you wanna know all about the Dark Crusade, but you're too lazy or too cheap to actually play the god damned game?
Fret not! For I, Storm the Watcher am gonna play it for ya. Again. That's how awesome this game is.
I'm not DoW or DC expert, but I know a few things. Oh, I'm gonna let you guys make a few decisions along the playthrough.
First one: I need a name for the Commander guy.
Now, Onward with the LP:
THE GAEM!
DoW: Dark Crusade is the latest expansion for the award winning... Aw, crap, screw the back-of-the-box blurb.
DC is a great RTS from Relic, the guys who made Homeworld before and Company of Heroes later. So they're guys who KNOW how to make the best RTS.
DC, like DoW and CoH, focus on the tactical squad level of war, and resources are gathered by capturing Strategical points and making Power Buildings. No peons, mines or harvesters. Depending on the race you're playing, you might even depend on your fontline soldiers to establish and mantain the supply line. It's really very tactical.
The major difference from vanilla DoW to DC, aside from the two new races (Tau and Necron), is that it offers a new campaign mode very similar to Risk or Rise of Nations, a big world map with territories you can conquer in whatever order you want. The strategical map play takes place in turns where you can move OR attack and/or buy more troops for your territories. You have ONE mobile army, led by your commander, but he doesn't need to be there on defense missions. The SEVEN races fight a bloody war to conquer the entire planet of Kronus. Who will win??????!!!!
Here's the map:
Each conquered territory offers some kind of benefit. The "normal" territories unlocks a new elite troop squad to your Honor Guard roster. The honor guard is important because whenever you attack a new territory, you already start with them on the mission map, so it's a free, instantaneous army. That can help you rush on of the enemy bases in some territories, but more about this later.
The special territories give you an extra perk or power, like Fury (attack twice per turn), Spaceport (attack almost any territory FROM any territory), so on.
And then there are the home bases for each faction. The home base combat takes happens through a scripted mission, much like regular Campaign missions in DoW and Winter Assault. Regular territories play like computer skimishes, and special territories have specific win-conditions. The home base missions are not REALLY hard, but they're really, really long.
But enough talking.
THE CONTESTANTS!The original 4 races from DoWImperial Space MarinesMarine Intro of awesomeness. 200k people died in the making of it. Just because.
Mostly every race in this game is a bunch of fucking fanatics, but I'd say that these super genetic enhanced cyborgized warriors take the Zeallot of the Year prize in the Fundamentalist Illustrated Magazine. They're like an order of monks that were custom made to slaughter shit like there's no tomorrow, and carry forward the will of the Immortal Emperor. They usually wipe entire planets just because someone made a joke about the big bloke. And they're supposed to be the GOOD GUYS.
Marine Bad Motherfucker Commander
Game-wise, the Space Marines are the ultimate generalists. The have the most "standard" game flow, and their basic infantry squad, the vanilla space marines, can kick the hell out off mostly anything. Vehicles, infantry, buildings, be it in melee or long range, they can kill it all. Space Marines don't rely much on vehicles, although they have a few remarkable ones, like the whirlwind and the walkers. I really like playing them.
Marine Death-dealing MachinesChaos MarinesChaos Intro. Oooo, scary.
These guys are Space marines that were corrupted by the demonic forces of Chaos during the Horus Heresy. They look like, guess what, demonic space marines. They're VERY EVIL! I don't know much about how they play, but they have more specialized units.
Chaos Commander needs to see a dentist, like, right nowChaos Units. Very Chaotic, don't you think?OrkzOrk WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
The orkz are a green fungus (seriously) that speak like stereotyped
english lower-class cockney football fans, and not like jamaicans at all, no sir, and shout a lot. They're usually stronger at melee than ranged, and can field ridiculous numbers of troops. The big difference is that they need to build WAAAAGH towers and earn WAAAGH points in order to build more guyz, on top of earning requisition points and power. They're pretty funny to play with. Especially when they chant "orkz orkz orkz orkz".
Ork 'Ead'Unter WARBOSSOrk Unitz (sorry)EldarEldar Intro zzzzzzzzzzzzz
The eldar are an Elf rip off. The very old race, humankind was still pooping their diapers when the Eldar were colonizing the galaxy (and fucking it up too, by creating the Chaos Gods because all the eldars were fornicating drug addicts). They have extremely specialized troops, each kind of squad or vehicle is good at ONE thing and completely suck at anything else. They can teleport around and look really weird, sorry, original. They have lots of vehicles. They're supposed to be good guys too, but meh, I find them to be a boring lot. The Eldar do have some very cool units, anyway.
Eldar Commander (wooo hot)Eldar Units. So sleek.The NEW race from Winter AssaultImperial GuardIG Intro. They're all gonna die, even if they win.
While the Space Marines are the nearly immortal, elite, dedicated warrior monks of the Empire, the IG is composed of individually weak and cowardly conscripts. The basic squads suck at melee but have decent guns a LOTS of soldiers. They also have kickass vehicles, including the biggest motherfuking tank in the game. The IG have some cool squad upgrades and a few strong heavy infantry types. They can be pretty annoying as enemies in skirmish game.
IG Commander. Thinks he's Wolverine.IG cannon fodder. I mean, troops. Meh, who am I fooling.Challengers approaching!TauPew pew pew Intro. Erm, PEW PEW PEW PEW
The Tau are the Mecha Anime "inspired" communist aliens. They're the closest you can get to a really GOOD side. They have awesome troops with awesome suits and really cool vehicles. The strange thing about the Tau is that they're the only race who can't fucking build turrets. They have just the Strategic Point Listening Posts and their units as a defense force. I'm going to play with them, because they're fun to play.
The actual Tau guys can't really fight melee at all, but they have lots of friends, like the Vespid, who're the insectal flying DEATH, and the Kroot, who're tribal crazy killer hippies. They jump like crazy, and beat people up with huge Sand People 18th Century rifles. The Tau Commander has ZERO melee damage, but rains deathly lazoers over his poor enemies.
Neon Genesis Commander O'Kais (he's Irish!)Gundam troops. oops.NecronsNecron Intro. Introducing you to the damned darkness.
The Necros are the coolest and weirdest race in the game. They're a bunch of egyptian-inspired psycho skeleton shaped robots who just wanna wipe all life from the galaxy. They actually managed to do it once, and have been sleeping underground since them. The sad thing for us, the living, is that they've awoken. And they wanna do it again. They might well succeed.
Necron Commander. He just wanna bring you peace. The peace of eternal slumber. That's DEATH, stupid.
The Necron are also weird gameplay-wise. They don't use the precious Req. Points for much. Instead, they rely solely on Power Generators... They do need to build Listening Posts on captured RPs, in order to reach 100% build speed. At first, they build shit veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly, but after capping and LPing 5 points, they get back to full speed. Other weird things include: Their soldiers CANNOT cap points, only their worker units can. So you actually have to build lots of them cute beetles. Oh, their infantry squads get NO weapon upgrades, the fallen soldiers can resurrect, all units are built at the HQ building which is also their Über-unit (and it kicks a LOT of ass), they have units who collect dead necrons and spawn new squads from their innards.... They're all around fucking awesome.
Necron army. They're like MEANER cousins to the T-800 Terminator.
This is it for the first post, but I already have more than enough stuff for two more updates. Than that OTHER GUY will take over for a bit. A tiny itty bitty bit.
I promise more funny and more game info. Now you peeps need to help me chose the Commander's name, and a name for the first honor guard unit. NOW.
BTW, I'm sorry that the army pics are small, I couldn't find a bigger version. I'd be thankful to anyone who did find them.
I can make the game pics bigger too, what do you guys think?
Am I doing this right?
Posts
I already own this game but your post still makes me want to go buy it on the way home.
Too bad I'm too freaking broke for this, Metroid Prime 3, and others. :<
I have now fulfilled my obligation to look at your post.
Damn you for making me want to buy things.
3DS Friend Code: 2707-1614-5576
PAX Prime 2014 Buttoneering!
Pity you're playing the Tau, though. I prefer Eldar, myself, though I don't think I'm a good enough player to really be able to pull off the 'quick and stealthy' style. :P
This game is mad cheap nowadays. You can buy the Platinum whatever for $30. It includes all three releases. Which is exactly how many I had when I saw how cheap it is now.
That said...
Jamaicans? Are you serious?
Damn you to hell Krentz and Stormwatcher. Damn you.
A few questions though: Will I get absolutely effing stomped by the vets or is the learning curve kind of gentle enough that I won't want to put my fist through my monitor after my 100th loss in a row? How many games are going on at any one time? Are there all sorts of newbs like me still playing, or just the dedicated pros?
Well, I didn't know exactly what stereotype they use. What should I say, then?
He must be referring to when they say "Green is the best." >.>
You probably will get stomped until you stop trying to play it like starcraft. If you sit back and turtle your enemy WILL steal your strategic points (they give you resources over time) and generally harass you and keep you from doing anything. You'll start to have fun when you just start sending your troops off to fight right in the beginning and realize that you will actually be fighting the whole match.
There are lots of 2v2 NOOBS ONLY games up. Whether you want to trust those or not is up to you. Getting into a match with a parter is a good idea because you can watch what he does and he can cover for you. He might cuss you out for being a noob but we've all been there.
They're based off of British soccer hooligans.
ICEBURN
But seriously, Orks are cockney.
I could be wrong though.
Oh, and, why not just stick with Shass'o Kais as the name for your commander?
Just need an all rush mix tape.
Edit: Name the commander Mc'Lovin
It would be especially hilarious if we did a joint campaign with the Space Marines. Because then he'd be wanted by the Inquisitors for being Chaos-tainted.
Split personality and all.
EDIT: Name should remain the same because of cinematic confusion.
Honor guard unit's name should be "Titties".
Just because.
I had to format my HDD a few weeks back though and have yet to reinstall.
PERHAPS?
I'll call him Paddy O'Kais, then. A compromise.
And I'll send you the save soon, just wanna maek the second post, before.
*snickers*, I fixed that part.
I think the Tau are a little more on the "good" side.
And it's page 2! UPDATE!
Well, that's what I meant.
I mean, the IG dudes don't really care, the Eldar are a bunch of losers and has-beens who made the chaos gods by boozing and fucking around, and the Space Marines are like Torquemada with lasers and powerswords...
The Tau are a bunch of angels in comparison
Anyway, new post tomorrow.
Oh, BTW, anyone knows where I can make a batch upload of the pics? Imaageshack is killing me.
I'm not a noob myself, but I'm incredibly rusty. Just remade PADC on Hamachi, usual password.
Orks is da biggest and da strongest!
Love me the green machine.
WAAAGH!
that'd be because you're retarded and apparently don't understand their back story or the fact that the entire 40k universe is morally ambiguous
The only thing that even comes remotely close are 'nids, and that's only because they are insects with no concept of morality.
Newflash: Jesus fuck calm the hell down.
If we'r dead, we'r dead so nobody cares,
If'n we win we'v won, so's only we cares
If'n we run away we always come back later
so Orkz neva lose ya see.
No, the reason I say it was besides being a joke, killing off all the rest of those races would be a generally good thing for the universe, as they are all a bunch of fanatic psychos.