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Sex Issue

CoalCoal Registered User regular
edited June 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
I'm pretty nerve-wracked at the moment, guys. Why? Well, a few days ago my girlfriend and I were having sex and the condom broke. I didn't notice it at first, but I honestly think it only slipped off of me once I pulled out. Note though that I did not ejaculate or even come close to ejaculating during this time. I'm just pretty nervous that she may get pregnant. What are the chances of that sort of thing occurring?

Coal on

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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    pretty low, preejaculate contains no sperm

    you'll be okay, but keep an eye on the situation

    Raneados on
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    MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Pretty much the only way she would get pregnant at this time is if she were having sex with another man behind your back. It's either that or your girlfriend would be the second person in history to immaculately conceive.

    Marathon on
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    RaggaholicRaggaholic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    pretty low, preejaculate contains no sperm
    WRONG. Pre-ejaculate does contain sperm, although not nearly in the concentration that ejaculate does.

    Depending on when this happened, you may want to have her take the Morning After pill just to be safe (most effective within the first 72 hours, with the first 24 being ideal).

    As far as the likelihood of your girlfriend being pregnant, I can't give you those odds. The vagina is a pretty hostile place for sperm and the odds of getting pregnant from a single encounter like this seem very low, but they are not 0%.

    EDIT:
    and the condom broke. I didn't notice it at first, but I honestly think it only slipped off of me once I pulled out.
    Wait, did it break (pull out and only have the ring around you/hole in the side with you hanging out of it/etc) or did it slip off (you pulled out, condom wasn't on, had to fish for it, pulled it out whole)?

    Raggaholic on
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    EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    If we give you odds and statistics, will it make you feel better? If so, sure, we can pull 'em out. Otherwise, just have her take a preg. test in a few days.

    This is also why Plan B is over-the-counter. I suggest you and your girlfriend get some. That way, if you DO have an accident, she can take Plan B and not worry so much.

    EggyToast on
    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raggaholic wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    pretty low, preejaculate contains no sperm
    WRONG. Pre-ejaculate does contain sperm, although not nearly in the concentration that ejaculate does.

    Depending on when this happened, you may want to have her take the Morning After pill just to be safe (most effective within the first 72 hours, with the first 24 being ideal).

    As far as the likelihood of your girlfriend being pregnant, I can't give you those odds. The vagina is a pretty hostile place for sperm and the odds of getting pregnant from a single encounter like this seem very low, but they are not 0%.

    pre-ejaculate does not contain sperm, the walls of the (urethra?) can hold sperm from a previous ejaculation, and may come out with the pre-cum, but the pre-cum itself contains no sperm. The sperm inside are not in their ideal habitat and thus die pretty quickly

    if this is wrong then every sexual health textbook I have read over the lat 7 years is wrong

    I say be safe and have her do the pill and everything, but don't freak out over it

    (despite what some people say to the contrary, pulling out is a reliable form of birth control, done correctly)


    PHEEZER EDIT FOR AWESOME:
    73% reliability is what you can actually expect in the real world. Absolutely perfect and consistent use of the method (virtually impossible under real world conditions) still only nets you 96%. That's a kid for every 25 times you fuck. THESE ARE NOT GOOD ODDS GIVEN THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE CONSIDER A RELIABLE METHOD.

    Raneados on
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    SpawnbrokerSpawnbroker Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raggaholic wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    pretty low, preejaculate contains no sperm
    WRONG. Pre-ejaculate does contain sperm, although not nearly in the concentration that ejaculate does.

    Depending on when this happened, you may want to have her take the Morning After pill just to be safe (most effective within the first 72 hours, with the first 24 being ideal).

    As far as the likelihood of your girlfriend being pregnant, I can't give you those odds. The vagina is a pretty hostile place for sperm and the odds of getting pregnant from a single encounter like this seem very low, but they are not 0%.

    Pre-ejaculate does not contain sperm, however there will be sperm remaining in the shaft of the penis from last time you ejaculated which will get picked up by the pre-ejaculate and transmitted during sex. Urinating between ejaculations causes this to no longer be an issue, as the urine will flush out any remaining sperm.

    In other words, pre-ejaculate does not contain sperm, but make sure you urinate between ejaculations just to make sure.

    Edit: damn you Raneados!

    Spawnbroker on
    Steam: Spawnbroker
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    TarantioTarantio Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    pretty low, preejaculate contains no sperm

    you'll be okay, but keep an eye on the situation

    You will hear conflicting information about this- most sex advice sites say that it is possible to have pregnancy occur from preejaculate, and that does indeed appear to be the case, though very rare. What I've read indicates that there is generally no motile sperm in preejaculate, but it could contain residual sperm from a previous ejaculation that was not completely cleared from the urethra (for instance, by urination).

    It seems like the odds are very low- astronomically low if you hadn't ejaculated since your last urination. If there is still an opportunity for the morning after pill, that would be taking less of a chance. I don't know.. anything at all about the side-effects or cost of such a thing, though, so I hesitate to advocate it for your situation.

    Edit: Beaten. Multiple times.

    Tarantio on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    god we've covered that

    GOD

    Raneados on
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    CoalCoal Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    and the condom broke. I didn't notice it at first, but I honestly think it only slipped off of me once I pulled out.
    Wait, did it break (pull out and only have the ring around you/hole in the side with you hanging out of it/etc) or did it slip off (you pulled out, condom wasn't on, had to fish for it, pulled it out whole)?

    The former. I pulled out and the condom was basically in half so to speak, but still was attached and was a whole piece, if that makes sense. That's why I"m thinking how I am, because it didn't break off inside of her and we had to look for it. It was still half on me and half off after I pulled out. The sex itself didn't feel any different and I think I would have noticed that first and foremost I'm sure, having never had sex without a condom before. Also, if it makes any difference, the kind of condom we were using had spermicidal lubricant.

    Also, this would have been the first time I ejaculated that day.

    Coal on
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    RaggaholicRaggaholic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    pre-ejaculate does not contain sperm, the walls of the (urethra?) can hold sperm from a previous ejaculation, and may come out with the pre-cum, but the pre-cum itself contains no sperm. The sperm inside are not in their ideal habitat and thus die pretty quickly
    You're right. The fluid produced itself contains none.
    (despite what some people say to the contrary, pulling out is a reliable form of birth control, done correctly)
    So is the rhythm method, but the problem is that people don't do it correctly, and thus it isn't recommended. Pulling out is effective if only for reducing the amount of sperm available to reach the egg.

    Raggaholic on
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    TasteticleTasteticle Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Coal, something similar happened to me some time ago. The chances are so crazy low it's not even funny. But just to be sure my gf took a morning after pill, I would recommend the same course of action if you are both okay with that and it happened within the past 2 days.

    Tasteticle on

    Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
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    ScrubletScrublet Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Your odds are extremely low. However, if your girlfriend winds up pregnant, are you going to give two shits about what the odds were? People DO wind up screwed by this sort of situation here and there. The pill is worth it.

    Scrublet on
    subedii wrote: »
    I hear PC gaming is huge off the coast of Somalia right now.

    PSN: TheScrublet
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    Monolithic_DomeMonolithic_Dome Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    If she isn't already, don't freak your girlfriend out about this. If she gets all stressed out about it, it can cause her period to be late (from the stress, not from a zygote). That can be a bad 2 weeks or so, believe me.

    Monolithic_Dome on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    SpecularitySpecularity Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    For everyone reaming Raneados, he's completely correct. It's not recommended for people who can't or don't use it correctly, of course, but that's their problem, not a problem with the method itself.

    Coal, is she on any sort of hormonal birth control? If she's not, I would also suggest you (she) get Plan B. It should be available without a prescription at any pharmacy if she's 18, and is technically viable up to three days after the incident (though it's recommended to take it as soon as possible). Like others are saying, the chances are extremely low, but peace of mind is probably going to be more of a comfort than a baby.

    Specularity on
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    CJTheranCJTheran Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    He's not saying it's fool proof and perfect, dude.

    He's saying it usually works.

    CJTheran on
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    ScrubletScrublet Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Agreed with Nostregar. Besides, as far as advice goes this thread is probably done anyways...it seemed to me to be the general consensus that his odds were really really low to get pregnant, but that the morning after pill is so easy he should have her do that to be absolutely* sure.
    *even that fails, but if you get pregnant with this many variables in play then SOMEBODY wants you to have that baby.

    Scrublet on
    subedii wrote: »
    I hear PC gaming is huge off the coast of Somalia right now.

    PSN: TheScrublet
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    ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2008
    This thread is not really about pulling out.

    OP: You should see if your girlfriend wants to pick up the pill, and even offer to pay for it if she doesn't have the cash, but don't... shove it down her throat or anything.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    there

    now can we stop debating this and focus on the help/advice?

    that's what you guys do here, right?

    Considering your comment wasn't helping, and it was just an offbeat way to offer up some conjecture about birth control methods, but yeah, that's what we do. We also ream morons who advise a person that pull-out is an effective form of birth control (if used correctly). Try to give good advice, not to say stuff because you want to test the waters.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    ScrubletScrublet Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    ceres wrote: »
    This thread is not really about pulling out.

    OP: You should see if your girlfriend wants to pick up the pill, and even offer to pay for it if she doesn't have the cash, but don't... shove it down her throat or anything.

    Point...you may want to discuss how you both feel about all things surrounding this issue (the morning after pill, abortions if pregnant, etc.) and make sure you are on the same page or at least understand how each other feel about it. Not that girls don't ever rethink their positions on these things once they actually get pregnant.

    Scrublet on
    subedii wrote: »
    I hear PC gaming is huge off the coast of Somalia right now.

    PSN: TheScrublet
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    TrowizillaTrowizilla Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Part one: If she's nervous, go with her to get Plan B. It'll probably make her sick for a couple of days, but it should help set her mind at ease.

    Part two: Don't freak out if her period is late. Stress will do that and it's not a big deal. Instead, go ahead and buy a pregnancy test, just to make sure. Again, she's almost certainly not pregnant, but it's better to go ahead and pay the $10 rather than freak out.

    Part three: Talk about what she would choose to do if she became pregnant. If she's against abortion and you don't want to be a father, talk to her about going on the birth control pill. (She can get it very cheaply at a Planned Parenthood.) That combined with using condoms means her likelihood of becoming pregnant is ridiculously, amazingly small, so that when the inevitable second condom breakage occurs, you can just shrug it off.

    Trowizilla on
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    Monolithic_DomeMonolithic_Dome Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Scrublet wrote: »
    , all the instructions that go into that pill are VERY IMPORTANT, and its effectiveness is seriously undermined if it's screwed up.

    My cousin got tonsilitis and went on antibiotics.

    Now I also have a first cousin once removed

    and yes I had to check wikipedia for the correct terminology. I thought it was second cousin

    Monolithic_Dome on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    PheezerPheezer Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2008
    Guys we're not debating it further, but it is completely unrealistic to rely on the pull out method. Completely. You're gonna fuck it up because everyone does. That leaves you much closer to the 73% end of things and that's like a 1 in 4 shot of 18 years of hell.

    This is what I'm saying here: If it happened once where a condom broke or whatever, odds are you're safe. The odds are not in favor of pregnancy. Keep it up and they will be, in short order. It is a highly UNreliable birth control method but that doesn't make a single instance in the grand scheme of things likely to result in pregnancy.

    Also if you really didn't get off, and you were wearing a condom even if it broke towards the end or maybe not even until after you were out of her, the odds are pretty fucking minuscule. Don't sweat it.

    Do talk to her about what you'll both do if she gets knocked up though. It can happen and you should be prepared.

    Pheezer on
    IT'S GOT ME REACHING IN MY POCKET IT'S GOT ME FORKING OVER CASH
    CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
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    SniperGuySniperGuy SniperGuyGaming Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    The Rhythm Method also doesn't work, because those few days where it moves around are flexible. And you can fuck that up.

    So, to the OP, you're almost certainly fine, but it's still an weensy bit possible.

    SniperGuy on
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    Super KipperSuper Kipper Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    73% would probably actually mean 73% of women using the method not getting pregnant in a year of sexual activity, so a fair bit better than a 1 in 4 chance of getting pregnant each time you fuck.

    Obviously still not a bet I'd recommend taking though.

    Super Kipper on
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    tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    Raggaholic wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    pretty low, preejaculate contains no sperm
    WRONG. Pre-ejaculate does contain sperm, although not nearly in the concentration that ejaculate does.

    Depending on when this happened, you may want to have her take the Morning After pill just to be safe (most effective within the first 72 hours, with the first 24 being ideal).

    As far as the likelihood of your girlfriend being pregnant, I can't give you those odds. The vagina is a pretty hostile place for sperm and the odds of getting pregnant from a single encounter like this seem very low, but they are not 0%.

    pre-ejaculate does not contain sperm, the walls of the (urethra?) can hold sperm from a previous ejaculation, and may come out with the pre-cum, but the pre-cum itself contains no sperm. The sperm inside are not in their ideal habitat and thus die pretty quickly

    if this is wrong then every sexual health textbook I have read over the lat 7 years is wrong

    I say be safe and have her do the pill and everything, but don't freak out over it

    (despite what some people say to the contrary, pulling out is a reliable form of birth control, done correctly)


    PHEEZER EDIT FOR AWESOME:
    73% reliability is what you can actually expect in the real world. Absolutely perfect and consistent use of the method (virtually impossible under real world conditions) still only nets you 96%. That's a kid for every 25 times you fuck. THESE ARE NOT GOOD ODDS GIVEN THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE CONSIDER A RELIABLE METHOD.

    While the overall point of this edit is correct (that methods like pull out, rhythm, etc. are not reliable), this is a misinterpretation of what these statistics mean. For ANY form of birth control, the % reliability means the % of women using that form of birth control over the course of a year who got pregnant. NOT the % chance of getting pregnant each time you have sex.

    tsmvengy on
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    LondonBridgeLondonBridge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    From past experience I'd say your chances are low. I dated a few girls using the pull-out method and no babies yet. I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS PROCEDURE!

    LondonBridge on
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    TroopaTroopa Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You're most likely fine, but we don't know for sure. I've used the pull-out method probably a hundred times or so with ex's and no babies yet. Maybe I'm lucky.

    For the best protection, have her on the pill and use a condom yourself. You'll likely never ever get pregnant. Ultimate combo.

    Troopa on
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