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My Little Brother Has No Self Control

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Posts

  • cheshirecheshire Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    john jacob jingleheimer schmidt

    thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's my name too



    next time I have sex with someone for the first time

    I will sing that

    starting as an inaudible breathing

    getting louder


    eventually screaming it



    taking bets on what happens

    If this happened to me I'm pretty sure I would start laughing and singing along.
    It would be hilarous if you were getting a bj and started singing this.

    cheshire on
    She was never meant to be a common creature
    Extraordinary takes time
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    if I bleed all over my sheets I will complain about this

    RANE BECOMES A GROWN-UP, BY JUDY BLOOM

    Metzger Meister on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    but see, I don't usually drink. The majority of the time that I drink, I do so to make other people feel less awkward.

    so I'm just in my room now and there is a vodka bottle in the kitchen but I don't want to deal with things like that

    talk with some dudes/ladies on the internet? it makes me feel pretty good

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    if I bleed all over my sheets I will complain about this

    RANE BECOMES A GROWN-UP, BY JUDY BLOOM

    Dear Tube, it's me, Raneados

    Sara Lynn on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    FFLLOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRPP

    also I have more deathfarts

    what did I even eat today

    nothing unusual

    Raneados on
    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I once walked in on my younger brother masturbating furiously to Gears of War.

    The strangest thing? I don't even have a brother.

    Drez on
  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Finish the job, Rane, take out your knife and finish the job.

    Campion on
    4484-7718-8470
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    hmm i wonder if the erotica site i visit has any fresh SEX TEXT for me

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Campion wrote: »
    Finish the job, Rane, take out your knife and finish the job.

    I do home surgery with a spoon and a head full of dreams

    Raneados on
    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Drez wrote: »
    I once walked in on my younger brother masturbating furiously to Gears of War.

    The strangest thing? I don't even have a brother.

    sorry

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    hmm i wonder if the erotica site i visit has any fresh SEX TEXT for me

    Interactive Fucktion?

    Drez on
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    hmm i wonder if the erotica site i visit has any fresh SEX TEXT for me

    oh damn! I've been trying to think of someone classy to show this site to, but I'm not sure if I can post a porn link and I suppose I'd like consent before PMing a link to you.

    All sexiness of this website aside, it's just a really really nice expression of personal experience

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    Campion wrote: »
    Finish the job, Rane, take out your knife and finish the job.

    I do home surgery with a spoon and a head full of dreams

    That's it, you build yourself another love tunnel; your testicles have caused you too much pain.

    Campion on
    4484-7718-8470
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Drez wrote: »
    hmm i wonder if the erotica site i visit has any fresh SEX TEXT for me

    Interactive Fucktion?

    heh yeah actually

    futore: send it over

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • FirmSkaterFirmSkater Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Man when I was in like 4th grade I never managed to be able to actually find porn online, it's not like it was hard to find I was just always interrupted.

    For most of that time I was really confused about where a vagina actually was. I mean I knew where it was in general but the exact location was what I wanted to know about. Sort of like pin the tail on the donkey; if someone handed me a vagina and told me to pin it on the crotch I would have had an anxiety attack.

    Sometimes I would lay awake at night just trying to figure it out.

    FirmSkater on
    sig2.jpg
  • WhiteZinfandelWhiteZinfandel Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Redeemer wrote: »
    Kids today are so fucking spoiled

    I had Men's Health magazines and the occasional Bowflex commercial


    Dude I still use Men's Health magazines on occasion. Some of that stuff is so incredibly hot, triply so if you get the UK version with visible titties.

    Edit: Oh hey Futore howsaboot a PM?

    Edit2: Haha just realized I was talking to Redeemer. Whoops.

    WhiteZinfandel on
    Pkmoutl wrote: »
    Futore wrote: »
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency
    Buy a doll, you're committing to having sex with just one imaginary lady.

    Just a butt? That butt could belong to anybody you'll never actually sleep with.

    Girl or well-shaven guy.

    The sky is the limit when you only have a plastic butt to fuck.
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    if I bleed all over my sheets I will complain about this

    RANE BECOMES A GROWN-UP, BY JUDY BLOOM

    Dear Tube, it's me, Raneados

    Best fake album name ever: Margaret? It's God. Shut up.

    Me Too! on
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    hmm i wonder if the erotica site i visit has any fresh SEX TEXT for me

    oh damn! I've been trying to think of someone classy to show this site to, but I'm not sure if I can post a porn link and I suppose I'd like consent before PMing a link to you.

    All sexiness of this website aside, it's just a really really nice expression of personal experience

    Yo
    Send that shit here

    Me Too! on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    next person who asks for a pm is going to get jailed

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • PolagoPolago Registered User
    edited September 2008
    Sext

    Polago on
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    the best is when magazines show a full tit and the nipple is completely airbrushed off

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    oh man, Ori. I love happy girls. I'm such a dork

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    oh, get bent

    don't feel bad for enjoying something

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    hahaha I don't feel bad about liking girls. But, I know you're a dork about your lady.

    so there.

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    oh what a kowinkydink, Fleshlights are on sale 20% for the next 36 hours.

    you just enter in 36hour for the coupon code.

    *jerks off furiously at thought of saving money*

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    oh fuck epic totp

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I'm jerking off to it's epicocity

    Graves on
    Usher wrote:
    Honey got a booty like pow pow pow
    Honey got some boobies like wow oh wow.
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    My bedroom is straight down the hall from the family computer room. I step out to go upstairs for food, my thirteen year old brother is on the computer. That's not at all unusual. I knew he masturbates- besides being a thirteen year old boy, he spends an awful lot of time in the bathroom in the middle of the afternoon- I just expected him to have the common sense to close the door.

    He stopped, and tried to act like he was just browsing or something. On the way back down, I hollered "You'd get a lot more privacy in your own room. Make sure you don't leave a mess." He didn't respond. He had the sound back on, so I think he was finished.

    A moment later, our little sister came down and asked what he was doing. She didn't scream or anything, so I think she's safe. I don't know how she would've reacted if she'd come down ten minutes earlier.

    The point where you should be concerned is when he actually talks when you catch him.

    "You'd get more privacy if you did that in your own room, you know."
    "Wait, keep talking....I'm almost....there..."

    Pkmoutl on
    gray.jpg
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency

    the ones molded after porn stars are the best.



    "this experience is probably going to be like driving a Ford Pinto through the Chunnel, but it's authentic porn star!"

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
  • FirmSkaterFirmSkater Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    do they like pour plaster into the chicks vagina to get the mold for it or what?

    That sounds very uncomfortable but for some of them i seriously doubt it's that big of a deal.

    I'm just thinking the cleanup would be terrible.

    FirmSkater on
    sig2.jpg
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    oh fuck epic totp

    you masturbate to girls cutting out coupons don't you

    YEAH SAVE 2 DOLLARS ON THAT FEBREEZE YOU PENNY PINCHING SLUT

    Sara Lynn on
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    FirmSkater wrote: »
    do they like pour plaster into the chicks vagina to get the mold for it or what?

    That sounds very uncomfortable but for some of them i seriously doubt it's that big of a deal.

    I'm just thinking the cleanup would be terrible.

    i really doubt cleanup is that much of a problem for them either :rotate:
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    oh fuck epic totp

    you masturbate to girls cutting out coupons don't you

    YEAH SAVE 2 DOLLARS ON THAT FEBREEZE YOU PENNY PINCHING SLUT

    i...i have to go to my bunk now.

    fightinfilipino on
    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    They do for the RealDoll things. But I think the porn star fleshlights are just basically endorsed products.

    I have a friend who was actually thinking about getting a RealDoll at one point.

    We told him he might as well just go out, kill a whore and mummify the corpse and just leave her sitting around the living room, because it'll be just as creepy.

    Especially knowing full well that he boner jams on it.

    Pkmoutl on
    gray.jpg
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    oh fuck epic totp

    you masturbate to girls cutting out coupons don't you

    YEAH SAVE 2 DOLLARS ON THAT FEBREEZE YOU PENNY PINCHING SLUT

    at least he doesn't get squirming from art.

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency
    Buy a doll, you're committing to having sex with just one imaginary lady.

    Just a butt? That butt could belong to anybody you'll never actually sleep with.

    Poorochondriac on
  • PkmoutlPkmoutl Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency
    Buy a doll, you're committing to having sex with just one imaginary lady.

    Just a butt? That butt could belong to anybody you'll never actually sleep with.

    Girl or well-shaven guy.

    The sky is the limit when you only have a plastic butt to fuck.

    Pkmoutl on
    gray.jpg
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Futore wrote: »
    fleshlights are funny. even funnier are the lifelike butts that stores sell. Fuck buying an entire doll.

    I'll just have the butt, thanks. I'm all 'bout efficiency
    Buy a doll, you're committing to having sex with just one imaginary lady.

    Just a butt? That butt could belong to anybody you'll never actually sleep with.

    at least get a torso along with it.

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I like classy professional porn

    Janson on
    sig.jpg
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    You mean like with high production values and actors from the royal Shakespeare society?

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
This discussion has been closed.