The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
ha! no, English is my first language (my only language really), I've never gotten that critique before. Maybe I no speak-a no-good-a. Actually, I majored in English, taught English and spent 3 years writing professionally!
Mojo_JojoWe are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourseRegistered Userregular
edited September 2009
Welp isn't a word (or it is, but you've used it in a very strange manner which makes me think you meant something else), and generally it reads very poorly. To the extent where I don't understand the joke.
The art is not especially interesting.
Mojo_Jojo on
Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
0
Quoththe RavenMiami, FL FOR REALRegistered Userregular
MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
edited September 2009
The art is decent enough, I guess, but the humor just isn't there.
This particular strip is probably the worst out of the ones I read. Either it's an inside joke, you're trying to break the fourth wall, or it's some incredible leap of logic that the rest of us just aren't following.
Metalbourne on
0
RankenphilePassersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
Your older stuff has a lot more life and better writing. I don't know how much you're getting out of these three panel comics.
This kind of stuff is very visually interesting and it's great to see such a difference in style from one to the other. I'm not much of a writer but I these older ones have much better premises and dialogue. The newer one's seem more forced.
I'm kind of confused that people don't get the strip he posted? I think he works better in the longer strip format as well, but .... I had no trouble actually understanding it!
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited September 2009
I get the joke as well. But its punchline needs more context (or atleast building up to this point in the earlier strips) for it to really be successful.
As I read it: He's saying she should enjoy video games because they are boring and her only escape from their own awesome lives (the opposite of why most people like them). I take it sarcastically, but I guess it could be a fourth wall thing too.
I like the less traditional comics more also... because they are less traditional.
Skelly B on
0
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited September 2009
I thought it was a meta joke about being in a boring gaming comic.
I have to agree with a lot of others here. I enjoy the art. It has an "Old World" style to it. I wouldn't change it one bit. I REALLY like it.
But... But the writing needs work. I would suggest you create your strips and sit on them for a few months to see how you react to them. That, or hire an editor or work with another writer. It does sound like English is your second language in the strips. In your blog entries, you sound human, but in your strips the language seems mechanical.
I agree on the enjoying your older works more. But again it might be you have more words.
Writing short panels is hard. Especially three panels since those panels usually consist of the setup, suspense/build-up then punchline. It's just a matter of timing.
Posts
From the way you word things I don't think you're looking for critique. Is this a correct assessment?
I like your half-tone art, but the writing makes no sense to me. Is it out of context?
The art is not especially interesting.
This was pretty much my reaction.
Oh yeah, mock the Italians. Real classy.
The art seems serviceable. A bit flat.
This particular strip is probably the worst out of the ones I read. Either it's an inside joke, you're trying to break the fourth wall, or it's some incredible leap of logic that the rest of us just aren't following.
This kind of stuff is very visually interesting and it's great to see such a difference in style from one to the other. I'm not much of a writer but I these older ones have much better premises and dialogue. The newer one's seem more forced.
SILENCE! I CONCUR!
I like the less traditional comics more also... because they are less traditional.
But... But the writing needs work. I would suggest you create your strips and sit on them for a few months to see how you react to them. That, or hire an editor or work with another writer. It does sound like English is your second language in the strips. In your blog entries, you sound human, but in your strips the language seems mechanical.
www.theohnozone.com - The Oh No Zone.com : A comic strip.
:arrow:
Writing short panels is hard. Especially three panels since those panels usually consist of the setup, suspense/build-up then punchline. It's just a matter of timing.
But really your style just shines.
However, there are a couple of shorts that I kind of like, such as:
The facial expression there is just great.
And the diary style ones are also fantastic.