new Gamer Comic

boxbrownboxbrown Registered User
edited September 2009 in Artist's Corner
today my comic features videogames.

Here it is, it's awesome look at it.

2009-09-15-Videogames.jpg

boxbrown on

Posts

  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    boxbrown wrote: »
    today my comic features videogames.

    Here it is, it's awesome look at it.

    2009-09-15-Videogames.jpg

    From the way you word things I don't think you're looking for critique. Is this a correct assessment?

    MKR on
  • boxbrownboxbrown Registered User
    edited September 2009
    well, not a "critique" per se, but I would be interested in what the gamer comic community thinks of my mainly non-gamer comic.

    boxbrown on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Haha. "it's awesome".

    I like your half-tone art, but the writing makes no sense to me. Is it out of context?

    NibCrom on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    It seems like English isn't your first language?

    KalTorak on
  • boxbrownboxbrown Registered User
    edited September 2009
    ha! no, English is my first language (my only language really), I've never gotten that critique before. Maybe I no speak-a no-good-a. Actually, I majored in English, taught English and spent 3 years writing professionally!

    boxbrown on
  • GahmriousGahmrious Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I don't get it.

    Gahmrious on
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Welp isn't a word (or it is, but you've used it in a very strange manner which makes me think you meant something else), and generally it reads very poorly. To the extent where I don't understand the joke.

    The art is not especially interesting.

    Mojo_Jojo on
    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    NibCrom wrote: »
    I like your half-tone art, but the writing makes no sense to me. Is it out of context?

    This was pretty much my reaction.

    Quoth on
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2009
    boxbrown wrote: »
    Maybe I no speak-a no-good-a.

    Oh yeah, mock the Italians. Real classy.

    The art seems serviceable. A bit flat.

    tynic on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    The art is decent enough, I guess, but the humor just isn't there.

    This particular strip is probably the worst out of the ones I read. Either it's an inside joke, you're trying to break the fourth wall, or it's some incredible leap of logic that the rest of us just aren't following.

    Metalbourne on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited September 2009
    I like the art.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • DeeLockDeeLock Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Your older stuff has a lot more life and better writing. I don't know how much you're getting out of these three panel comics.
    2008-09-07-ADULTHOOD.jpg
    2009-03-04-Bus-Stop.jpg
    2009-03-16-Seize-the-Day.jpg
    2009-03-23-Your-Own-Space.jpg

    This kind of stuff is very visually interesting and it's great to see such a difference in style from one to the other. I'm not much of a writer but I these older ones have much better premises and dialogue. The newer one's seem more forced.

    DeeLock on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    oh my gooood i love your art based on what dee just posted

    beavotron on
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2009
    Yeah, those are a lot more interesting and whimsical.

    tynic on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    wow, yeah the old stuff is pretty awesome.

    KalTorak on
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    The multipanel stuff is definitely better.

    MKR on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    tynic wrote: »
    Yeah, those are a lot more interesting and whimsical.

    SILENCE! I CONCUR!

    Metalbourne on
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I think your writing might be the kind that needs a wide berth to get through. From what I've seen, three panels isn't going to cut it for you.

    MKR on
  • WassermeloneWassermelone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I'm kind of confused that people don't get the strip he posted? I think he works better in the longer strip format as well, but .... I had no trouble actually understanding it!

    Wassermelone on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I get the joke as well. But its punchline needs more context (or atleast building up to this point in the earlier strips) for it to really be successful.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    That strip in the OP is brilliant.

    NotASenator on
  • Skelly BSkelly B Registered User
    edited September 2009
    As I read it: He's saying she should enjoy video games because they are boring and her only escape from their own awesome lives (the opposite of why most people like them). I take it sarcastically, but I guess it could be a fourth wall thing too.

    I like the less traditional comics more also... because they are less traditional.

    Skelly B on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I thought it was a meta joke about being in a boring gaming comic.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • gimpyjoshgimpyjosh Registered User
    edited September 2009
    I have to agree with a lot of others here. I enjoy the art. It has an "Old World" style to it. I wouldn't change it one bit. I REALLY like it.

    But... But the writing needs work. I would suggest you create your strips and sit on them for a few months to see how you react to them. That, or hire an editor or work with another writer. It does sound like English is your second language in the strips. In your blog entries, you sound human, but in your strips the language seems mechanical.

    gimpyjosh on

    www.theohnozone.com - The Oh No Zone.com : A comic strip. :mrgreen::rotate:
    :arrow:
  • IkageIkage Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I agree on the enjoying your older works more. But again it might be you have more words.

    Writing short panels is hard. Especially three panels since those panels usually consist of the setup, suspense/build-up then punchline. It's just a matter of timing.

    But really your style just shines.

    Ikage on
    STRONGER THEN DIRT!! DIRT STRONG!
  • Mai-KeroMai-Kero Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I'm a pretty huge fan of the style, especially in the strips that escape past the constraint of 3-6 panels.

    However, there are a couple of shorts that I kind of like, such as:

    2009-09-04-Battle-With-Misanthropy.jpg

    The facial expression there is just great.

    And the diary style ones are also fantastic.

    2009-08-21-Live-Music.jpg

    Mai-Kero on
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