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Superstition - Girlfriend jinxed me. Have fun guessing how I'll get fucked.

UnderwhelmingUnderwhelming myMomIsTheJam July 13, 2013Registered User regular
edited September 2009 in Social Entropy++
Girlfriend: "I can't believe you're finally coming home from Iraq! I'm so excited! Nothing could ruin this week for me! NOTHING! :):):)"

She needs to be educated on jinxing, but that's something for a later date. The damage is already done. I wonder what kind of bullshit is headed my way? What do you think? My guess? Plane crash in the ocean.

Underwhelming on
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    so you're still in Iraq right now?

    gee I wonder...

    FAQ on
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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    you find her semen collection in the fridge

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Dear John...

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    CyvrosCyvros Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Everyone moves out of your neighbourhood. All your neighbours are now Iraqi.

    Cyvros on
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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Jinxing does not exist. Anecdotal evidence leads to superstitions, these are reinforced via confirmation bias which is passed on via more anecdotal evidence, and the cycle of irrationality begins anew.

    EDIT: The good news is your girlfriend is no more and no less at risk than she was before she said that stuff, so you can relax and resume looking forward to seeing her again.

    Butler on
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    FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    turns out your girlfriend is a terrorist

    she is excited because she wants to be the one to kill you

    wacky sitcom ensues

    Fletcher on
    antics_sig.jpg
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Fletcher wrote: »
    turns out your girlfriend is a terrorist

    she is excited because she wants to be the one to kill you

    wacky sitcom ensues

    Please, terrorist is so 2001.

    Refer to her as a "foreign-born al Qaeda insurgent."

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I looked around youtube for the bit from M*A*S*H where they announce henry blake's plane getting shot down but they actually seem to remove MASH clips from youtube, what the hell

    L|ama on
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    FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    yessir

    Fletcher on
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Volucrisus Aedrius wrote: »
    Fletcher wrote: »
    turns out your girlfriend is a terrorist

    she is excited because she wants to be the one to kill you

    wacky sitcom ensues

    Please, terrorist is so 2001.

    Refer to her as a "foreign-born al Qaeda insurgent."

    TERRRRERIS

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    i can only think of things that are actually pretty depressing

    like "your girlfriend will die in a car crash on the way to pick you up"

    :?

    Fletcher on
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    something something ied something something

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    she really has jinxed it is what i'm trying to say

    Fletcher on
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    FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Zombies Tossed My Salad! wrote: »
    something something ied something something

    his girlfriend is an ied

    it happens

    Fletcher on
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    L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    this for the 3 people in the western world who haven't seen it

    L|ama on
    FlIet.jpg
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Fletcher wrote: »
    Zombies Tossed My Salad! wrote: »
    something something ied something something

    his girlfriend is an ied

    it happens

    igd

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    improvised girlfriend device

    wouldn't that be a fleslight or something

    L|ama on
    FlIet.jpg
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    it'll blow you away

    Wren on
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    FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    john we wanted to tell you that your girlfriend was shrapnel and highly volatile explosives

    but you just seemed so happy

    Fletcher on
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    or ieg

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    WallhitterWallhitter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Well it explains why she never seemed to really care.

    Wallhitter on
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Explosives are not very warm hearted

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    What if you come back and she's preggers?

    Whoooops

    lostwords on
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    SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    What if you come back and she's preggers?

    Whoooops

    And he's been away for 8 months and hijinks ensue as they fight to find the real father in a race against time with a star-studded cast?

    SporkAndrew on
    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    what if she gets killed with an ied g.i. bro

    won't you have cake on your face

    Calamity Jane on
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    CG FaggotryCG Faggotry BristolRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    What if you come back and she's preggers?

    Whoooops

    "Congratulations Mr. Underwhelming, it's a bomb!"

    CG Faggotry on
    bulbesssigfinal.jpg
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    AirAir Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    maybe you get back home and the place is a total mess

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    she's totally gonna burn the meatloaf

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Agent VesagoAgent Vesago Half Iago. Half Fu Manchu. All Bastard. Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    she's totally gonna burn the meatloaf

    kinderpaper6nw5wm6iz.jpg

    Agent Vesago on
    Clowns.jpg
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    If you come back and she's pregnant with Saddam Hussein's baby, how pissed will you be?

    Hunter on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    bin laden, hunter, he's the guy we're after

    Mysst on
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    If you come back and she's pregnant with Saddam Hussein's baby, how pissed will you be?

    I think he'd be pretty pissed if she was fucking a dead guy

    Usagi on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Usagi wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    If you come back and she's pregnant with Saddam Hussein's baby, how pissed will you be?

    I think he'd be pretty pissed if she was fucking a dead guy

    Frozen sperm shot into her by Iraqi drone planes on their way to drop nuclear bombs on the Mall of America and Disney Land.

    Hunter on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    hunter really only remembers that hitler is the enemy

    Mysst on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    hunter really only remembers that hitler is the enemy

    You mean Obama right? He's the new Nazi leader, Glenn Beck told me.

    Hunter on
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    AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I'm just coming to this thread to post this.

    the crunchiest superstition remix

    carry on

    Atheraal on
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    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2009
    probably gonna get your leave cancelled.

    Grath on
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    If you come back and she's pregnant with Saddam Hussein's baby, how pissed will you be?

    I think he'd be pretty pissed if she was fucking a dead guy

    Frozen sperm shot into her by Iraqi drone planes on their way to drop nuclear bombs on the Mall of America and Disney Land.

    I guess they'll have to get WalMart in the next run

    Usagi on
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    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2009
    Usagi wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    If you come back and she's pregnant with Saddam Hussein's baby, how pissed will you be?

    I think he'd be pretty pissed if she was fucking a dead guy

    Frozen sperm shot into her by Iraqi drone planes on their way to drop nuclear bombs on the Mall of America and Disney Land.

    I guess they'll have to get WalMart in the next run

    They are leaving it, its already doing enough damage staying up and running.

    edit: also peopleofwalmart.com is hilarious

    Grath on
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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited September 2009
    Underwhelming, relax, man. You'll probably just get a new virulent form of swine flu and have to be quarantined in a military base for nine months or something. You won't die.

    Larlar on
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