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Happy Joe the Plumber Day
CorruptedData
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
What a magical year it's been hasn't it folks?
One year ago we met This wonderful man. Let's take a moment and relish the highs and mostly highs of this storied career.
October 12, 2008: Then-Senator Barack Obama is out and about in Ohio, doing some light campaigning. There, he would first encounter Joe the (kind of) Plumber. And while Jake Tapper of ABC News would give a pair of "amorous dogs" the lede, Joe wondered whether or not he'd have to pay more than his fair share of taxes.
Obama said his tax plan would work to Joe's advantage and help to "spread wealth around" on top of that. Naturally, the McCain campaign saw a chance to start promoting Obama's remarks as stealth socialism which sort of meant bringing Joe the Plumber along for the ride. Days later, Joe was all anyone wanted to talk about. And that's surprising, because those dogs were being really amorous.
October 17, 2008: Of course, Joe the Plumber might have remained a passing fancy--a name you heard once or twice in the course of a very long campaign. Unfortunately, there was one last presidential debate to be had, and in that debate, Senators McCain and Obama mentioned him 26 times and hailed him as the ideal American. Great.
October 22, 2008: Just a week and a half after Joe's emergence on the scene, the McCain campaign was doing everything it could to make the entire race about what it was like to be a guy who plumbs for a living in Ohio. To that end, McCain cut an ad called "Sweat Equity" in which various people insisted that they were Joe the Plumber, in the same way that previous people might have proclaimed themselves Spartacus. Naturally, this felt incredibly lame to the vast majority of Americans.
October 28, 2008: While Joe was campaigning for McCain, a supporter asked him if "a vote for Obama is a vote for the death of Israel." And, of course, Joe agreed. Shepard Smith, Fox's lone voice of reason, interviewed Mr. The Plumber later and grilled him about this statement to which Joe kept replying that he wants Shep's viewers to go find out themselves why he thinks this. Smooth dodge, Joe, way to make it perfectly clear that you have NO IDEA what you're talking about while still be condescending.
October 30, 2008: Joe Dumps McCain. Say it ain't so, Joe! You got so big so fast that you forgot your meal-ticket's big event! Fortunately, it wasn't completely embarrassing or public or whatever. The end is the saddest part: "Alright, well, you're all Joe the Plumber so all of you stand up!"
November 14, 2008: Ten days after the election was over, Joe should have been hard at work, returning to his previous life, maybe trying to figure out what a U-bend did. But instead, he decided the time was ripe to launch his very own Website, and exploit his new-found fame in order to achieve...um...some vague results of some kind? Who knows, really? What I can tell you is that Joe seemed to think that starting a blog that cost you $14.95/year to read was a good idea. The Website, called Secure Our Dream, no longer exists. And that's sad, because as dreams go, having your own website for a year is perhaps one of the easiest ones you can secure.
November 20, 2008: Joe Pimps his new book. On a day that will live in infamy for every unpublished starving writer, Joe got a book deal to write his story. It's blurbed by Sean Hannity. Enough said.
November 28, 2008: Believe it or not, there was a brief mad moment where the stars seemed to align and Joe The Plumber actually started doing an honest day's work in a field where he seemed to be able to apply both his media stardom and enough simple competence that we thought, "Hey, that Joe The Plumber guy is doing something useful, for America after all." And that was when Joe started cutting instructional videos for VelocityStore.com about digital teevee conversions. Those videos were informative AND mesmerizing. Of all the people seeking to inform us about the conversion, only Joe framed it as a national security issue: "America, we’ve never had a transition of this magnitude in the United States. The DTV transition affects the public safety of the United States, so it’s imperative that all Americans come together and learn all we can." Did you convert to digital cable without falling prey to al Qaeda? Well, thank Joe, obviously.
Early January, 2009: Joe the Plumber goes to Israel as a War Correspondent adn OMGZ IT DOES NOT GO WELL. One of the key lessons of the 2008 campaign was that the right really needed to build up a media infrastructure that favored serious reportage over party hackery and weird, conspiracy-based alarmism. Pajamas Media heard the call and said, "I know, let's spend whatever money we have left, sending Joe The Plumber to Israel to be a war correspondent. It was at this moment I started to worry about Joe The Plumber actually getting killed for being a stupid man. Joe went to Israel and survived his brief trip, on which he mainly confused the actual reporters he encountered.
February 27, 2009: Joe The Plumber really believes in the "Fair Tax." In fact, the only thing that he believes in more is that he believes that people should spend their own money calling a 1-900 number, to hear more about it? Also, did you know that America has the right to vote the IRS out, with sext messages? It's all there in the Constitution, maybe, who knows?
March 23, 2009: Joe Hates Queers. And I quote, "People don't understand the dictionary--it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do--what man and woman are for." It's true, the dictionary is deeply misunderstood, much like the Bible which promotes and bans all sorts of things we do or don't do today, but as Joe picks and chooses which words of God to obey and which to discard, he lets it be known that queers are not allowed near his kids, you honky.
May 17, 2009: Joe Talks to God. Here's a little bit of good news, divine intervention-style! Asked if he was thinking about running for political office, Joe The Plumber said, "I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, 'No.'" So, I think we can all agree that Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion, can bite us.
June 2, 2009: Joe sucks at Comedy. After so much failure, Joe decided to bask in the warm and loving arms of comedy critics by performing at the "Funniest Celebrity in Washington" contest. Considering Joe is neither funny nor a celebrity one would expect him to at least be from D.C., but no...he's not. He took the stage and with all the class and sweat-drenched charisma we've come to expect claimed to have concubines and expressed his wishes for Keith Olbermann to die. I am confident he will not be invited back
God Bless Amurrica
One year ago we met This wonderful man. Let's take a moment and relish the highs and mostly highs of this storied career.
October 12, 2008: Then-Senator Barack Obama is out and about in Ohio, doing some light campaigning. There, he would first encounter Joe the (kind of) Plumber. And while Jake Tapper of ABC News would give a pair of "amorous dogs" the lede, Joe wondered whether or not he'd have to pay more than his fair share of taxes.
Obama said his tax plan would work to Joe's advantage and help to "spread wealth around" on top of that. Naturally, the McCain campaign saw a chance to start promoting Obama's remarks as stealth socialism which sort of meant bringing Joe the Plumber along for the ride. Days later, Joe was all anyone wanted to talk about. And that's surprising, because those dogs were being really amorous.
October 17, 2008: Of course, Joe the Plumber might have remained a passing fancy--a name you heard once or twice in the course of a very long campaign. Unfortunately, there was one last presidential debate to be had, and in that debate, Senators McCain and Obama mentioned him 26 times and hailed him as the ideal American. Great.
October 22, 2008: Just a week and a half after Joe's emergence on the scene, the McCain campaign was doing everything it could to make the entire race about what it was like to be a guy who plumbs for a living in Ohio. To that end, McCain cut an ad called "Sweat Equity" in which various people insisted that they were Joe the Plumber, in the same way that previous people might have proclaimed themselves Spartacus. Naturally, this felt incredibly lame to the vast majority of Americans.
October 28, 2008: While Joe was campaigning for McCain, a supporter asked him if "a vote for Obama is a vote for the death of Israel." And, of course, Joe agreed. Shepard Smith, Fox's lone voice of reason, interviewed Mr. The Plumber later and grilled him about this statement to which Joe kept replying that he wants Shep's viewers to go find out themselves why he thinks this. Smooth dodge, Joe, way to make it perfectly clear that you have NO IDEA what you're talking about while still be condescending.
October 30, 2008: Joe Dumps McCain. Say it ain't so, Joe! You got so big so fast that you forgot your meal-ticket's big event! Fortunately, it wasn't completely embarrassing or public or whatever. The end is the saddest part: "Alright, well, you're all Joe the Plumber so all of you stand up!"
November 14, 2008: Ten days after the election was over, Joe should have been hard at work, returning to his previous life, maybe trying to figure out what a U-bend did. But instead, he decided the time was ripe to launch his very own Website, and exploit his new-found fame in order to achieve...um...some vague results of some kind? Who knows, really? What I can tell you is that Joe seemed to think that starting a blog that cost you $14.95/year to read was a good idea. The Website, called Secure Our Dream, no longer exists. And that's sad, because as dreams go, having your own website for a year is perhaps one of the easiest ones you can secure.
November 20, 2008: Joe Pimps his new book. On a day that will live in infamy for every unpublished starving writer, Joe got a book deal to write his story. It's blurbed by Sean Hannity. Enough said.
November 28, 2008: Believe it or not, there was a brief mad moment where the stars seemed to align and Joe The Plumber actually started doing an honest day's work in a field where he seemed to be able to apply both his media stardom and enough simple competence that we thought, "Hey, that Joe The Plumber guy is doing something useful, for America after all." And that was when Joe started cutting instructional videos for VelocityStore.com about digital teevee conversions. Those videos were informative AND mesmerizing. Of all the people seeking to inform us about the conversion, only Joe framed it as a national security issue: "America, we’ve never had a transition of this magnitude in the United States. The DTV transition affects the public safety of the United States, so it’s imperative that all Americans come together and learn all we can." Did you convert to digital cable without falling prey to al Qaeda? Well, thank Joe, obviously.
Early January, 2009: Joe the Plumber goes to Israel as a War Correspondent adn OMGZ IT DOES NOT GO WELL. One of the key lessons of the 2008 campaign was that the right really needed to build up a media infrastructure that favored serious reportage over party hackery and weird, conspiracy-based alarmism. Pajamas Media heard the call and said, "I know, let's spend whatever money we have left, sending Joe The Plumber to Israel to be a war correspondent. It was at this moment I started to worry about Joe The Plumber actually getting killed for being a stupid man. Joe went to Israel and survived his brief trip, on which he mainly confused the actual reporters he encountered.
February 27, 2009: Joe The Plumber really believes in the "Fair Tax." In fact, the only thing that he believes in more is that he believes that people should spend their own money calling a 1-900 number, to hear more about it? Also, did you know that America has the right to vote the IRS out, with sext messages? It's all there in the Constitution, maybe, who knows?
March 23, 2009: Joe Hates Queers. And I quote, "People don't understand the dictionary--it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do--what man and woman are for." It's true, the dictionary is deeply misunderstood, much like the Bible which promotes and bans all sorts of things we do or don't do today, but as Joe picks and chooses which words of God to obey and which to discard, he lets it be known that queers are not allowed near his kids, you honky.
May 17, 2009: Joe Talks to God. Here's a little bit of good news, divine intervention-style! Asked if he was thinking about running for political office, Joe The Plumber said, "I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, 'No.'" So, I think we can all agree that Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion, can bite us.
June 2, 2009: Joe sucks at Comedy. After so much failure, Joe decided to bask in the warm and loving arms of comedy critics by performing at the "Funniest Celebrity in Washington" contest. Considering Joe is neither funny nor a celebrity one would expect him to at least be from D.C., but no...he's not. He took the stage and with all the class and sweat-drenched charisma we've come to expect claimed to have concubines and expressed his wishes for Keith Olbermann to die. I am confident he will not be invited back
God Bless Amurrica
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or Luigi Mario?
let's talk about how stupid fandy is
you don't even know
Well your stupid enough to tell us that we don't even know how stupid you are when it is very clear how stupid you are just by saying that we don't know how stupid you are
So in conclusion that is why you should vote me as president of the Anime Fan Club
Quoth is saying what only I am thinking!
Long live vanilla.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
you are being very hurtful
^5
wimble you kind of are a poop from a butt
have you looked in the mirror lately
this is how people become racist
doesn't racism over there constitues as hating that one black guy
where little boys and little girls and little teefs can drink whatever soda they want without fear of scorn or ridicule
where vanilla and cherry and zero and diet can live together with classic in peace and harmony
I HAVE A DREAM
too bad it's nigh impossible to get here
so I got to stock up on dr. brown whenever I get the chance
then we ride a roller coaster
sounds good let's do that right now
throwing my hands up and screaming like a girl