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Happy Screw Year.

Holy DivinityHoly Divinity __BANNED USERS new member
edited January 2010 in Social Entropy++
New Year’s Eve is the best. For one magical night, even the most straight-laced babe feels socially obligated to get blindingly drunk and act like a total whore. Pretty daddy’s girls with blond hair and tight asses swill cheap champagne and toss back shots of peach schnapps until they’re flashing their big, firm tits at any chump who wanders by. The kind of bitch who wouldn’t bother taking a dump on your forehead when she’s sober is suddenly more than happy to show you her young, bald pussy, and even let you stick your dick in the pink prize. If she’s extra loose, the soused trollop will invite a whole heap of guys to plow her flawless, sorority-girl gulch.

The boys and I banged just that type of sloshed college chick last New Year’s. Her name was Angie. Four buddies and myself penis-pummeled that slut with the strength and vigor of 50 men. The little sweetheart must have had quite a story to tell back at the Kappa Gamma house - assuming she was able to hobble back there after we were done with her.

We were partying hard at Sparky McGilligan’s, a rad sports bar that was throwing a balls-out New Year’s bash. The place was thick with hotties, and the heavy floral scent of perfume overwhelmed the odor of man-pits. The chicks wore tube tops and tight pants. They giggled and danced close together like a bunch of lipstick lesbians. I was fighting to conceal a blatant boner all evening. Thank God Angie was there to relieve the strain. I first saw the honey busting a clumsy, white-girl move to Juvenile’s "Back That Azz Up". The twat lacked rhythm, but her bright, gold tresses and tight, yet jiggly, curves dazzled over my dong. I wanted that slice, and I was going to have it.

I did the necessary prep work to nail Angie’s sweet ass while my crew hung around the peanut bowl, swilling Rolling Rock. I started buying Angie drinks at about ten. She reluctantly accepted my generosity at first, but the ho was all up on my jock by the third round. She tossed back her big hair and giggled, straddling my thigh while sliding up and down in her slippery pants.

"You’re really a great dancer", I lied. Angie laughed and roller her tipsy eyes. What she was actually great at was grinding her plump camel toe against my leg. My crotch puppet buttered impatiently against its zippered confines.

"I would just loooooooooove a banana daiquiri", Angie slurred, her hot-pink fingernails raking my chest. "If I buy you a banana daiquiri", I bargained, "you have to follow me to the men’s room and hold my wiener while I piss."

Angie threw her head back and cackled. Her hand fell into my crotch and cupped my hard-on. "Drain the main vein!", Angie snorted. "I’m totally into holding your dinker, big boy. Fuck, man - I’ll even lick the motherfucker! Y’know, my blowjobs rock way harder than any of the Kappa Gamma girls."

This drunk-ass coed was nasty. I ordered a Sparky Special (32-ounce daiquiri) for Angie. She massaged my crotch, fairly drooling in anticipation of the frosty beverage. "Let’s go", I barked once the drink was in Angie’s wobbly hand. "You don’t mind if a few of my buddies come along to enjoy the show?" "Hell no", Angie shouted, clutching the daiquiri with both hands. "The more the merrier!"

I signaled for my posse to join the party. The six of us wove our way to the bathroom. "Damn, it smells like tinkle in here", Angie observed. Several drunken dudes stood at the urinals, grinning at Angie. I winked at the pissers and whipped out my wanker. Angie squealed and leaped to grab it. It took a few minutes for my piss to stream through my boner, but once I let loose the juice, Angie became so excited, she lost her grip. I soaked her manicured hand with hot bladder broth. The sauced sister giggled and sniffed her wet fingers. "Whoooooooo!", my posse hollered.

"I bet you feel like fucking", I told Angie. The sweetheart of the piss stall gulped her drink and nodded. Her buoyant bonkers struggled to burst out of her red tube top. I hooked my finger in Angie’s cleavage and tugged at the elastic fabric. Two giant ta-tas exploded forth. I wondered if Daddy’s money had purchased that unbelievable set of hooters.

"I need to tee-tee first", Angie panted, peeling her hootchie pants to her ankles and thrusting her hairless cooter toward the urinal. "I can wee just like a guy; check it out". The piss-drunk cutie straddled the urinal and parted her damp, pink pussy lips. A glittering stream of pee arched gracefully through the air and clinked against the porcelain. Angie shook her booty, releasing the last drops of whiz from her dainty urethra. The crowd went wild.

"Great job; I’m impressed", I remarked, planting my palms on her buns. "Now brace yourself." I unleashed my raging cock and lodged it firmly into Angie’s sloppy slice. She gripped the urinal walls and whinnied, her flawless ass shivering under the force of my meat. I pumped rapidly.

"Right on, bro!", hollered an enthusiastic observer. I threw the crowd a thumbs-up and spanked Angie’s heinie. Blushing handprints throbbed in her butt flesh. The slut’s cooter was tight and slippery. Her bazongas wobbled like exquisitely molded Jell-O. The glorious sight wrecked my endurance; a roar like a train jettisoned through my brain as my ramrod vomited scrotum snot into the darkest regions of Angie’s womb. I leaned up against the wall, seeking the strength to remain on my feet. Angie gripped the potty, bucking for more action.

"Who’s big ol’ wang’s next?", inquired the fevered vixen, her acrylic nails tapping impatiently against her swollen clit. "I wanna come like the porno ladies." My buddies formed a line while the handful of evidently gutless onlookers stood mute and frozen. Angie fired up the troops with baiting catcalls. She slapped her ass, goading the next fucker to take her on. Tad hammered Angie’s juicy sliver with the urgency of a condemned man. The eager humper blew his wad in a mere three minutes.

Tad had barely removed his root from Angie’s little darling when Earl stepped up. Earl’s schlong is gigantic; Angie squeaked like a dolphin when the monster prick stuffed her cooch. Earl lifted the giddy, cock-stuffed sot’s feet from the floor and balanced her forehead against the urinal’s upper rim. Her body flailed in midair as her crushed her insides with his penile assault. "Thass making me commmme", Angie groaned, her nails leaving pink marks on the porcelain. "Auggleaugg!"

Arder cheers exploded from the peanut gallery. My tired tool stirred at the music of Angie’s orgasmic wails. Earl dislodged his dong and lowered Angie to the ground. The girl rested on the filthy tile, cross-eyed and dazed, as Earl shot his load onto her baby face.

"Right on!" cried Harvey and Chip, ready to rock. "Let’s wank on her!" They waxed their wangs over Angie, who was now polishing off her banana daiquiri. Chip reached for Angie’s tittie and squeezed. "Honk, honk!", Chip guffawed, a vein throbbing in his forehead as he rubbed his willy. "Dude, I’m already gonna blow!", Harvey laughed. His pelvis jerked forward, and a goopy string of jism hurtled through the hair and into Angie’s hair. "Yeah, man!", Chip whooped, his cock coughing up a mucosal blob that hit Angie’s left breast with a smack. "Right on, brothers!", I cried.

The five of us pounded our chests and knocked out heads together in celebration. Angie remained on the floor, on the verge of nodding off with spunk matting her hair and drying like egg on her flesh. What an awesome fucking night. The crew and I were spent after we were done, so we cruised to Earl’s pad and watched hockey on cable until we passed out. I wonder if any of those other dudes in the bathroom stuck their dicks in Angie after we left. Probably not; those faggots didn’t have the balls.

Holy Divinity on
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Posts

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    what

    PiptheFair on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    is this some sort of fanfiction

    Raneados on
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    Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
  • Options
    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    or like

    a dear penthouse?

    PiptheFair on
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    I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Fuck yeah, Seaking.

    I Win Swordfights on
    lfYVHTd.png
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    Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Did you crib this from Tucker Max or what

    Kuribo's Shoe on
    xmassig2.gif
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    which one of you in angie

    Faricazy on
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    it's me

    I'm the angie from the op

    PiptheFair on
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    George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    someone gimmie a tl;dr.

    George Fornby Grill on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    OF COURSE

    Faricazy on
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Faricazy wrote: »
    OF COURSE

    vienna

    PiptheFair on
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    HyperAquaBlastHyperAquaBlast Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Faricazy wrote: »
    OF COURSE

    This drunk-ass coed was nasty. I ordered a Sparky Special (32-ounce daiquiri) for Angie. She massaged my crotch, fairly drooling in anticipation of the frosty beverage. "Let’s go", I barked once the drink was in Angie’s wobbly hand. "You don’t mind if a few of my buddies come along to enjoy the show?" "Hell no", Angie shouted, clutching the daiquiri with both hands. "The more the merrier!"

    HyperAquaBlast on
    steam_sig.png
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    I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    someone gimmie a tl;dr.

    You

    I Win Swordfights on
    lfYVHTd.png
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    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    So much text.

    Tonkka on
    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
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    I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights all the traits of greatness starlight at my feetRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    scuba_outside4.jpg

    I Win Swordfights on
    lfYVHTd.png
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I have never read anything as misogynistic as the OP

    yes I read the whole thing

    ugh

    Raneados on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    hey WHOA

    WHOA




    WHERE IS THAT HORSE'S DIVING WATCH?

    Faricazy on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I mean good god

    the whole account must be a fake though, it's too terrible to be real

    Raneados on
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    KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2010
    a roar like a train jettisoned through my brain as my ramrod vomited scrotum snot into the darkest regions of Angie’s womb

    wonderful

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
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    tofutofu Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    This is not very funny and is in fact disgusting!

    tofu on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Nice fanfiction. Now do Captain Kirk on Captain Janeway.

    Hunter on
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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    this is pretty hilarious

    Darmak on
    JtgVX0H.png
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2010
    Faricazy wrote: »
    hey WHOA

    WHOA




    WHERE IS THAT HORSE'S DIVING WATCH?

    diving watches aren't actually used for diving

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    a roar like a train jettisoned through my brain as my ramrod vomited scrotum snot into the darkest regions of Angie’s womb

    wonderful

    there was no chance of me reading that post

    so I'm just glad you picked that sentence out for me

    because there's no way anything else in there tops this

    redhead on
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    jkylefultonjkylefulton Squid...or Kid? NNID - majpellRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Wait

    She did all that while holding a daiquiri?

    jkylefulton on
    tOkYVT2.jpg
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    you had me at Rolling Rock

    Usagi on
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    KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2010
    and yeah this is just a copy+paste because I've seen this before

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
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    BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Wait

    She did all that while holding a daiquiri?

    This guy feels like a stud, but really, she hardly even noticed he was there.

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited January 2010
    I wasn't gonna read it then Raneados said it was terrible so I read it and it was hilarious

    and terrible

    Garlic Bread on
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    mere_immortalmere_immortal So tasty!Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    mere_immortal on
    Steam: mere_immortal - PSN: mere_immortal - XBL: lego pencil - Wii U: mimmortal - 3DS: 1521-7234-1642 - Bordgamegeek: mere_immortal
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    mere_immortalmere_immortal So tasty!Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Well gay.

    mere_immortal on
    Steam: mere_immortal - PSN: mere_immortal - XBL: lego pencil - Wii U: mimmortal - 3DS: 1521-7234-1642 - Bordgamegeek: mere_immortal
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I hope he named his herpes after her too.

    Hunter on
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    B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    My new fuckin' haircut.

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    cool story bro

    Hacksaw on
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    SmokeStacksSmokeStacks Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    cool story bra

    SmokeStacks on
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    cool story ska

    Hacksaw on
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    UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    What's up bitches

    What's up sluts

    UnbreakableVow on
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    bitches and whores

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    SmokeStacksSmokeStacks Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Hos and tricks

    SmokeStacks on
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    UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I got 99 problems

    But a bitch ain't one

    UnbreakableVow on
This discussion has been closed.