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Scam Artists

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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Oh snap.

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    LarsLars Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    You have no idea how many times I've tried to get a gun-arm. Doctors apparently won't just hand those out to anyone.

    In regards to scams, I can't remember being scammed offhand. I remember various people on the streets of Atlanta who would do a magic trick or read a poem or something and then ask for a donation, but I never carried cash so they were kind of out of luck. And they weren't really scamming, they were trying to entertain for cash I guess.
    When I was in college there was this homeless woman usually on one of the nearby streets who would always point at me and call me "the Savior" though. I never really knew how to respond to that so mostly just kept walking. I always meant to try and see if she ever called anyone else that or just me. She never asked me for anything, just kind of loudly announced my presence and then went back to whatever she was doing. If it was a scam it wasn't a very good one. Maybe she thought I was looking to hire a herald or something?

    Lars on
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    You don't ask the doctor, ask the crazy guy with his own machine shop.

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Dang you two are quick

    Not always a good thing.

    daaaaaaaaaang

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
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    LarsLars Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Yeah, but the doctors only let me have one prosthetic at a time, and I couldn't let the machine guy modify that one, and there's no way I'm letting a crazy guy with a machine shop try and take a mold of my arm.

    Lars on
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    Kool-Aid GuyKool-Aid Guy Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I once saw a guy with a sign that said something like, "Wife and child were kidnapped, need money for ransom god bless"

    Kool-Aid Guy on
    OH YEEEAAAAHHH
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Langly wrote: »
    A few weeks ago, Tasty and I were walking around the mall, looking for sales or something like that. This elderly man approached us and said "Hey! Hey! Hey! You look like a big strong guy! You want to come help me move some of my merchandise onto a truck? I'll pay you good for your time, just take about an hour, bout an hour, bout an hour."

    He had a weird senile old man habit of repeating him at least three times at the beginning and ends of his sentences. "What's your name, son?" "Langly"

    "Langly. Langly. Langly. Alright, how about it?"

    He was asking me on the spot, and I knew that he really was the owner of the shoe store that he was talking about, so I tentatively agreed. It wasn't very hard work, it was just moving the big frames for a secondary store kiosk (a place that sold calendars and board games) that he was breaking down. The whole time, he's chatting about his son in the military, and counting the boxes as we loaded them, always in triplicate.

    So it takes a little over an hour, and he's going to pay me ten bucks which isn't so bad. But then, right when we're finishing up, he mentions that he doesn't have any cash in the register right at the moment, but that he would be glad to give me some calendars on top of the cash (which I could come pick up at some unidentified point)

    He gave me a puppy calendar, a horse calendar, a San Francisco calendar, and tried to offer me a playboy calendar, but then figured that "She wouldn't like that too much, would she (would she? would she?).

    So I took the calendars and headed out, knowing that I would never see that ten dollars.

    you probably just helped him rob the place :P

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    When I was at Pax in '08 Nads and I were looking for somewhere to get breakfast at 5am so we asked the concierge for a map. He circled this place and we went on our merry way. Unfortunately that place didn't exist or wasn't at the circled location. We said screw it and started heading back.

    On our way back a homeless man heard us complaining or asked us why we were down that way. One of those anyway. We tell him and he offers to lead us towards the breakfast place. We follow him and he gets to talking and says that his wife and kid died in an accident. So as we're walking along he offers to sing us a song. To go with this song he starts tapping out a beat on an empty water jug.

    An empty water jug with a nemo plushie inside of it.

    It was a nice song. So we get to our destination and I think we gave the guy like $14 and then got omelettes and hash browns.

    That is 1 of my fondest memories of Pax '08.

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2010
    Crashmo wrote: »
    Yeah outside of Catholicism the only schemes are mostly silly geese televangelists.

    wut

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited April 2010
    I OD'd on daves candy at pax 08

    and then I got train flu, so basically it was an awful weekend

    Unknown User on
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    LarsLars Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I think I spent a good portion of PAX '08 wondering why there were goats on the side of an overpass in the middle of Seattle. I believe someone suggested that a troll was under the overpass and thus the goats were afraid to cross. It was 3am, so this explanation seemed both clever and satisfactory.

    Lars on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Lars wrote: »
    I think I spent a good portion of PAX '08 wondering why there were goats on the side of an overpass in the middle of Seattle. I believe someone suggested that a troll was under the overpass and thus the goats were afraid to cross. It was 3am, so this explanation seemed both clever and satisfactory.

    The goats were mowing the grass.

    Weaver on
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    LarsLars Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    That's very mundane and disappointing if that's what they were really there for. Real life needs to learn to be more interesting.

    Also, I need to go to bed and stop my half-asleep posting spree.

    Lars on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    PAX '08

    aka

    Neville's Roof '08

    Weaver on
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    celandine wrote: »
    celandine wrote: »
    The Masons are starting to look really cool. SE++ should join the Masons en masse. We could control the world that way. (Or, raise a lot of money for sick kids and wear funny hats -- but same thing, right?)

    But I'm already a Mason.

    You can get us started then!

    (I'm descended from Masons -- and members of Eastern Star, the women's auxiliary -- and I like The Magic Flute. And National Treasure. Always had that cool factor for me.)

    I'm a member of the Masons through my Grandmother, who was a member of the Eastern Star during WWII.

    She applied to have me in the Masons, apparently.

    I've never done anything with this power, except destroy the life of one jerk who worked at Autozone.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I've never done anything with this power, except destroy the life of one jerk who worked at Autozone.

    Did they ever find his body?

    Lucky Cynic on
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    ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    think my grandfather is in pretend masons

    who knows, though, they could be super masons or something

    Arang on
    thenews.jpg
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    the masons can't actually DO things

    munkus you crazy

    Raneados on
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    M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Someone should be removing you shortly, rane

    M.D. on
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    CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    The real power lies with Rotary Club

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Raneados wrote: »
    the masons can't actually DO things

    munkus you crazy

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    STATE OF THE ART ROBOTSTATE OF THE ART ROBOT Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Now the Stonecutters, they got shit done.

    STATE OF THE ART ROBOT on
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    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Weaver wrote: »
    PAX '08

    aka

    Neville's Roof '08

    What? I was at Neville's for PAX 08 and I heard that story. I thought you did it the year before

    Man I really really want to go this year but some things just happened that probably mean I wont be able to go

    Artreus on
    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Now the Stonecutters, they got shit done.

    Rumor has it that they keep the metric system down...

    Lucky Cynic on
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    B.C.B.C. is a bee! remember me?Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    While I was working yesterday, the telephone rang. I was busy so I had one of my co-workers pick it up. They passed it to me about a minute later looking very confused and mouthed "I can't understand a word he's saying"

    "Hi, this is B.C. what can I do for you?"

    The thickest indian accent I have ever heard comes from across the line.

    "Yes, are you the manager of the store?"
    "No, but I'm the senior crew member of this shift, what can I do for you?"
    "Tomorrow my inspection crew is going to be coming to your store to do a full store inspection."

    He then rambled off a list of things I was going to need to let the inspection team do. Many of which inspection teams are not allowed to do at our store. On top of this he had me write down every instruction on a piece of paper and repeat it back to him. I already know this is a dude trying to scam his way into our store but I have to get all the information anyways.

    "Ok, I am going to hang up. Five seconds after I hang up you will receive an automated computer call with a confirmation number. Then I will call back to confirm that you got the confirmation number. Then I will fax you a sheet with that confirmation number on it and further instructions that you will have to follow when the inspection crew gets there."

    "oooook"
    "Ok I am hanging up now"
    "You do that."

    5 seconds later "The following is an automated confirmation call for craiglist ad serve. If you are not confirming your craiglist ad serve please hang up"

    I get the "confirmation number" anyways. The asshole calls again.

    "Did you get the confirmation number?"
    "Yes"

    He has me repeat it back to him. Then he asks me for my personal cellphone number and those of my coworkers.

    "What?"
    "If we receive your cell phone number then we can enter you in a drawing for-"
    "Ok, nice try dick-ass." ~click~

    B.C. on
    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Lars do you mind if I ask how you lost the hand?

    MrMonroe on
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    After you tell him what really happened i would like to hear what you tell little kids to scare them.

    TheStig on
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    Lars do you mind if I ask how you lost the hand?

    You're gonna be an ambulance chaser

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Crashmo wrote: »
    A homeless fella approached my youth group on a road trip once. He was asking for money for food right outside of a McD's. My youth pastor goes in and buys the guy a combo meal with a coffee, and the hobo cussed him out, flipped us off, and threw it on the ground.

    I got approached by a Buddhist monk once looking for donations. I offered him some change and he said he couldn't take money but I could go and buy him some food for the monastery from a nearby healthfood store.

    I'm like, what? It's not enough that I'm going to give you some money, you want me to do your damn shopping for you as well? No deal!

    Szechuanosaurus on
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    TerrendosTerrendos Decorative Monocle Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    TheStig wrote: »
    After you tell him what really happened i would like to hear what you tell little kids to scare them.

    "And that's why you don't try to use a guy without a hand to teach your children lessons!"

    Terrendos on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    Lars do you mind if I ask how you lost the hand?

    You're gonna be an ambulance chaser

    naw I didn't do as well in Torts as I thought I was going to

    I wanna do GC work for a small firm

    I'm just interested in what are invariably life-changing experiences among forumers

    MrMonroe on
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    Lars do you mind if I ask how you lost the hand?

    You're gonna be an ambulance chaser

    naw I didn't do as well in Torts as I thought I was going to

    I wanna do GC work for a small firm

    I'm just interested in what are invariably life-changing experiences among forumers

    I know, I know.

    I'm giving you a hard time.

    Because that's basically straight out of "My Cousin Vinny"

    How did you hurt your neck?

    Was it in your house or somebody else's?

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    IloveslimesIloveslimes Everett, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Terrendos wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    After you tell him what really happened i would like to hear what you tell little kids to scare them.

    "And that's why you don't try to use a guy without a hand to teach your children lessons!"

    Thank you. That is just what I thought.

    Iloveslimes on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    Lars do you mind if I ask how you lost the hand?

    You're gonna be an ambulance chaser

    naw I didn't do as well in Torts as I thought I was going to

    I wanna do GC work for a small firm

    I'm just interested in what are invariably life-changing experiences among forumers

    I know, I know.

    I'm giving you a hard time.

    Because that's basically straight out of "My Cousin Vinny"

    How did you hurt your neck?

    Was it in your house or somebody else's?

    were you doing anything that would qualify as contributory negligence?

    MrMonroe on
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Anyone here know someone who got robbed of an organ.

    I saw a news story about that shit earlier today.

    Now that's a scary thing.

    Waking up in a bath tub full of ice with a kidney missing.

    Lucky Cynic on
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    BarcardiBarcardi All the Wizards Under A Rock: AfganistanRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I thought that was an urban legend.

    Barcardi on
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    No, there's been a black market for organs ever since there are rich people who wanted to pay.

    Lucky Cynic on
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    BarcardiBarcardi All the Wizards Under A Rock: AfganistanRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I meant the kidney in a bathtub part of it.

    Barcardi on
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    MrMonroe wrote: »

    were you doing anything that would qualify as contributory negligence?

    Interesting story: My teacher didn't believe in intentional torts, so we didn't learn about them!

    Everything was negligence.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Yeah, total urban legend. Whatever news channel you watch, stop.

    Szechuanosaurus on
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