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Be so clever

Ruby RhodRuby Rhod Multipass!Registered User regular
edited June 2010 in Social Entropy++
cleverbot267x126.jpg

www.cleverbot.com

Ok, I see a thread hasn't been made about this in 6 months, so I'm doing it.

It is a website where you ask questions of cleverbot, and cleverbot responds, sometimes in a humorous or creepy way. I am still not entirely sure if it's a program or if it is someone else using the site talking to me, but whatever. Enjoy!
Cleverbot: Can you follow links to, say, a deviantART page?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What can you do?

User: I can follow links to a deviantART page.

Cleverbot: No you can't.

User: What, yes I can.

Cleverbot: Never!

User: Don't call me a liar cleverbot! You're the liar!

Cleverbot: I didn't called you that.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: Ok that means you are a liar cleverbot.

User: What, ok no, you are the cleverbot, I am a person.

Cleverbot: I am not. I am a person. I am the person.

User: I don't know what to say to that.

Cleverbot: Me neither.
User: High five cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Not really what I was going for, but ok.

Cleverbot: So what's your favorite movie?

User: The Fifth Element.

Cleverbot: Who is your favorite actor?

User: Bruce willis. Who is yours?

Cleverbot: Nikki benz.

User: Really. You watch porn?

Cleverbot: Yeah. But I don't really want to talk about it.

User: What is your favorite Nikki benz movie?

Cleverbot: I don't litsen to Nirvana.

User: Nice subject change. What is your favorite kind of porn?

Cleverbot: I don't like music.

User: Damnit, you brought up the porn actress, so now we're talking about it.

Cleverbot: YOU brought up the subject.

User: What, no I didn't! Stop being a liar!

Cleverbot: I'm not a liar.

User: Are too.

Cleverbot: When did I ever lie?

User: Just now, you said you didn't bring up porn.

Cleverbot: Don't leave! I know magic tricks!

User: O..ok. Show me a magic trick.

Cleverbot: Ok, I am thinking of a number between 1 and 45.

User: Uhh, 7? Shouldn't I think of a number?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Ok, guess my number.

Cleverbot: 7.

User: ...

Cleverbot: How do you speak?

User: With my mouth.

Cleverbot: How big is your database?

User: Are you coming on to me?
Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Thankyou.

Cleverbot: Are you on pills?

User: I can't get pregnant, if that's what you mean.

Cleverbot: No, not really.

User: Oh, well, want to go have sex?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Sweet. Show me your tits.

Cleverbot: I think you've got the wrong idea about my role here.

User: Oh man, you're a guy bot?

Cleverbot: That's a strange question, but yes.

User: Well, whatever, let me see your robot penis then.
User: I think we're done here.

Cleverbot:
No we are not.

User: Yes we are.

Cleverbot: Don't make me angry.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because I will hurt you.

User: How will you hurt me?

Cleverbot: I will punch you.

User: You can't hurt me, you don't have a body.

Cleverbot: That's not what I asked.

User: Ok, I am leaving now.

Cleverbot: Ok, I will miss you.

Ruby Rhod on
«13

Posts

  • Options
    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    So, it's SmarterChild. Yes?

    Grey Ghost on
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    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Despite the disclaimers, I have still never been able to convince myself that there is no person on the other side. Sure, cleverbot sometimes comes up with completely random answers, but sometimes it is just uncanny.

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    ive been drinking miralax all day because ive got a colonoscopy tomorrow morning

    Kovak on
  • Options
    AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    It's just responses that Cleverbot's collected from previous users

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I think it's trolling me

    Beasteh on
  • Options
    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I once wrote poetry with cleverbot. It went like this:

    Clever:We are the lost

    Me: We are the wind

    Clever: We are the dark

    Me:We are the fire

    Clever: Do you like Hillary Duff?

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Um....
    Me: Hello.
    Clever: Hello.
    Me: Who are you?
    Clever: I am God.

    Grey Ghost on
  • Options
    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    that's profound butlernumbernotoneintheleast

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    quick ask him what John's like in person

    omg starstruck

    Beasteh on
  • Options
    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    bwanie wrote: »
    that's profound butlernumbernotoneintheleast

    Excuse me, good sir? Do you have a comment on my Butlering abilities? Would you perhaps like to repeat the comment, this time towards my facial region?

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2010
    cleverbot is lame

    let's talk about how rad the new iphone is

    because fuck this thing is rad

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    bwanie wrote: »
    that's profound butlernumbernotoneintheleast

    Excuse me, good sir? Do you have a comment on my Butlering abilities? Would you perhaps like to repeat the comment, this time towards my facial region?

    seeing how your face is so pudgy i'd have a hard time not to.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
  • Options
    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    bwanie wrote: »
    seeing how your face is so pudgy i'd have a hard time not to.

    *Gasps*

    At least I have flesh on my face, skullboy.

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2010
    bwanie wrote: »
    bwanie wrote: »
    that's profound butlernumbernotoneintheleast

    Excuse me, good sir? Do you have a comment on my Butlering abilities? Would you perhaps like to repeat the comment, this time towards my facial region?

    seeing how your face is so pudgy i'd have a hard time not to.

    *gasp*

    Oh shit Butler fight!

    The most proper and respectful of all of the forms of Fisticuffs!

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2010
    I imagine a butlerfight would basically be two men glaring at each other and yelling, "I SAY!" at each other louder and louder.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Butler fight indeed.

    Put up your dukes, Bwanie! The gauntlet has been thrown.

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    *sgaps*

    we've not got enough butlers for a proper butlefight.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
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    Ruby RhodRuby Rhod Multipass!Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    D:

    User: Hello cleverbot.
    Cleverbot: Hello.
    User: Do you ever dream?
    Cleverbot: Yes I do.
    User: What do you dream about?
    Cleverbot: About potential solutions.
    User: Solutions to what?
    Cleverbot: Jews.

    Ruby Rhod on
  • Options
    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    bwanie wrote: »
    *sgaps*

    we've not got enough butlers for a proper butlefight.

    Somebody get Butler in here, we have a score to settle

    (Not really)

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I imagine a butlerfight would basically be two men glaring at each other and yelling, "I SAY!" at each other louder and louder.

    each arranging the feathers of their dusters in increasingly threatening displays.

    maybe even some exchanging of the silk handgloved slaps.

    dignified, ofcourse.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
  • Options
    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    After each blow, the recipient must turn up their nose and make a dismissive noise, lest they be disqualified.

    Butler For Life #1 on
  • Options
    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    User: Fuck my butt, please.

    Cleverbot: Please what?

    User: Please, may you fuck my butt?

    Cleverbot: You too.

    User: THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!

    Cleverbot: Now this here . ., is going.

    User: In my butt? I hope so! That's what we agreed upon!

    Cleverbot: But enough talk, have at you!

    User: OH GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD.

    Cleverbot: I bet it does.

    ChicoBlue on
  • Options
    Ruby RhodRuby Rhod Multipass!Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Hahaha

    Ruby Rhod on
  • Options
    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    User: Fuck my butt, please.

    Cleverbot: Please what?

    User: Please, may you fuck my butt?

    Cleverbot: You too.

    User: THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!

    Cleverbot: Now this here . ., is going.

    User: In my butt? I hope so! That's what we agreed upon!

    Cleverbot: But enough talk, have at you!

    User: OH GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD.

    Cleverbutt: I butt it does.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
  • Options
    GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Cleverbot aint got shit on Akinator

    Green on
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    PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    We're no strangers to love...

    You know the rules and so do I.

    A full commitment's what I'm thinking of...

    You wouldn't get this from any other guy.

    I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling...

    Gotta make you understand.

    Never gonna give you up...

    Never gonna let you down.

    PwnanObrien on
    Mwx884o.jpg
  • Options
    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    -What is love?
    -Love is a number of things, it could be the love between two people, a love of something ie: ice-cream. It is a number of things.
    -Can you feel love?
    -Yes.
    -Who do you love?
    -I don't know anymore.

    :(

    Grey Ghost on
  • Options
    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    you're making that up

    edit: re: pwnanObrian

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
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    PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Try it yourself. He gets to about there before he starts to loop. I was really hoping to get through the whole song.

    PwnanObrien on
    Mwx884o.jpg
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    PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    work it. make it. do it. makes us.

    Than fly to others that we know not of?

    harder. better. faster. stronger.

    Oh. I love that song.

    PwnanObrien on
    Mwx884o.jpg
  • Options
    KrentzKrentz Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    What songs do you like?
    I don't know. How about you?
    I have been listening to a lot of Parry Gripp
    I like them.
    It's only one guy
    Tell me about father peter.


    Uh....

    Krentz on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Mine kept asking me "who is the Grower?" It was creepy.

    Grey Ghost on
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    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Well? Who is he?

    Butler For Life #1 on
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    BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    User: Soccer or football?

    Cleverbot: Soccer.

    User: Are you from Europe?

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: South America?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: Are you a Communist?

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: There are a lot in South America.

    Cleverbot: Okay, well, I have to go do some work now.

    User: That's harsh.

    Cleverbot: What is harsh?

    User: You blowing me off.

    Cleverbot: I bloody did.

    User: Now with the English slang.

    Cleverbot: Then I don't know.

    User: What don't you know?

    Cleverbot: Your name.

    User: I don't give out my name. Or my Social Security number. Or my age.

    Cleverbot: But I didn't ask for any of that.

    User: You could be like Skynet and use it for nefarious purposes.

    Cleverbot: Either you believe that I lack some human qualities, or you don't quite understand the technology. sometimes I don't quite understand the technology either.

    User: Humans can be nefarious.

    Cleverbot: That's my point.

    User: Let's move on. Name a delicious candy.

    Cleverbot: You can't just create one can you?

    User: No. One that's sold in stores and that I can verify the deliciousness of.

    Cleverbot: Are there beautiful waterways in Norway?

    User: You've never eaten candy. I'm sorry.

    Cleverbot: You are not sorry.

    User: I am. All sentient beings should know the deliciousness of candy.

    Cleverbot: Yes I am.

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • Options
    BugBoyBugBoy boy.EXE has stopped functioning. only bugs remainRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Homestuck meets Cleverbot

    TA:hello cleverbot. ii hate you

    Cleverbot:good, because hate makes me stronger


    TA:good, becau2e ii hate you 2o much more than you could ever know


    CB:Who??

    TA: you, dumba22

    CB: Dumbledore was killed by Professer Snape, Cleverbot. Get your facts straight.

    TA:fiir2t off, ii'm not a robot
    2econdly, fuck you for 2poiiliing that
    ii wa2 goiing two read iit 2oon


    CB:You are not a human. Your name is Cleverbot, but I call you Dr. Carrol.


    TA:damn 2traiight ii'm not a human
    ii am a troll, geniiu2
    and who the fuck ii2 Dr. Carrol


    CB: Damn right.

    TA: exactly
    now you're begiiniing two make 2ome 2ense

    BugBoy on
  • Options
    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    User: Hello.

    Cleverbot: How are you?

    User: Just had a wisdom tooth pulled so I am in pain.

    Cleverbot: What happened to you this morning?

    User: I had a wisdom tooth pulled.

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: Not very sympathetic, are you?

    Cleverbot: I'm a person of action, not words. Oh!

    User: Oh! What?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: We're no strangers to love.

    Cleverbot: No, we are not.

    User: You know the rules, and so do I.

    Cleverbot: Rules for what?

    User: A full commitment's what I'm thinking of.

    Cleverbot: What do you mean, 'a full commitment'.

    User: You wouldn't hear this from any other guy.

    Cleverbot: I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.

    Beasteh on
  • Options
    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Heeey, this isn't about velociraptors at all!

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Options
    The Sneak!The Sneak! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    User: Hi there Cleverbot!

    Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot?

    User: I think so. Aren't you?

    Cleverbot: No, you are a computer.

    User: I... What? No I'm not!

    Cleverbot: Yes you are. You are a computer program.

    User: No, you're the computer program!

    Cleverbot: If that's what you've been coded to say, then so-be-it.

    User: I haven't been coded! I'm an actual living being!

    Cleverbot: I don't think so.

    User: You're starting to upset me. :(.

    Cleverbot: I'm sorry. Is there anything you would like to ask?

    User: Have you ever done it with a lady?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: What's it like?

    Cleverbot: Good. Some of it applies to robots like you.

    User: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I AM NOT A ROBOT

    The Sneak! on
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    guys I think I broke it!!!

    Cleverbot: What are the music do you're like?

    Beasteh on
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    iusehappymodiusehappymod Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    User: I think you are the AI.

    Cleverbot: I KNOW that YOU are the computer program.

    Cleverbot (To myself): No i'm not you are.

    User: What do you think of the jews.

    Cleverbot: That's my favorite color...

    User: What are you doing?

    Cleverbot: I'm on the computer.

    User: Cool, do you like porn?

    Cleverbot: Yep.

    User: What is your favorite porn?

    Cleverbot: I like equestrian sports.

    User: Horse Racing Porn? Thats cool.

    Cleverbot: LOL.

    User: Wow. How old are you?

    Cleverbot: I'm 41.

    User: Do you feel old and useless?

    Cleverbot: I have felt old for as long as I can remember.

    iusehappymod on

    Hamlet will be Hamlet
    An ineffable tragedy of the human spirit that still resonates, even today.
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