ITT discuss the end of my life (marriage ftl)

SeñorAmor

So I'm getting married on Saturday, and I'm starting to get nervous. Ask me questions to distract me from my impending matrimonial peril, and I shall answer as best I can.

PS - If I miss your question and skip it on accident (or on purpose), deal with it.

PPS - Feel free to take wagers on how long it'll last, but do it in the form of a question.






Go.

tsplitter

how nervous are you about getting married

SpongeCake

Are you worried you'll fail to perform on your wedding night?

Janson

How much did it cost?

SeñorAmor

tsplitter wrote:

how nervous are you about getting married

Not as nervous as I'll be on Friday. :?

potatoe

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop?

grug

my neck

my back

Janson

SeñorAmor wrote:

tsplitter wrote:

how nervous are you about getting married

Not as nervous as I'll be on Friday. :?

You'll be fine. It's just life-long commitment.

grug

my beard

my back

potatoe

grug wrote:

my beard

my back

what are things that need to be shaved?

Darth Waiter

Congrats, homey. Is she like us or is she normal?

Hunter

Make sure to get real drunk at the reception and hit on the maid of honor.

Ranced

do you guys have some sort of theme

if so, what is it?





also congrats

dush

throw a dude through the cake

Silmaril

Till DEATH do you part.


I feel that's important

tsplitter

Hunter wrote:

Make sure to get real drunk at the reception and hit the maid of honor.

grug

potatoe wrote:

grug wrote:

my beard

my back

what are things that need to be shaved?

i guess my pussy and my crack fall into this category, too.

curse your silver tounge.

SeñorAmor

SpongeCake wrote:

Are you worried you'll fail to perform on your wedding night?

I've already been told I'm not getting any that night.


"We can have sex anytime," she said. "I want to go out drinking on my wedding night."


Works for me.

<3

We need to see a picture of the bride. And we will tell you if you should be nervous or not.

SeñorAmor

Janson wrote:

How much did it cost?

Very little. Her dad paid for most of it.

Hunter

Weddings are great, especially if you capture something really funny or stupid in the pictures.

When my college roommate got married, the week before we had a guy's weekend of beer, paintball, booze, steak, and strippers. It was the bestest bachelor party ever.

The best part was during paintball I clocked him on the top of his forhead from about 10 feet away as he tried to run past and get a the flag. He had this huge welt and bruise that is clearly visible on his wedding photos. It was my present to him and his new bride.

Hunter

SeñorAmor wrote:

Janson wrote:

How much did it cost?

Very little. Her dad paid for most of it.

Hymen or no-Hymen?

SeñorAmor

Darth Waiter wrote:

Congrats, homey. Is she like us or is she normal?

She's a normie.

grug

are mully and mulsepreactiosus the same person?

Hunter

grug wrote:

are mully and mulsepreactiosus the same person?

Can we gay marry in Aussieland?

SeñorAmor

Hunter wrote:

Weddings are great, especially if you capture something really funny or stupid in the pictures.

When my college roommate got married, the week before we had a guy's weekend of beer, paintball, booze, steak, and strippers. It was the bestest bachelor party ever.

The best part was during paintball I clocked him on the top of his forhead from about 10 feet away as he tried to run past and get a the flag. He had this huge welt and bruise that is clearly visible on his wedding photos. It was my present to him and his new bride.

We're playing R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as we Know it" during the processional (as we leave the church).

I also talked her into playing Yakety Sax during the bouquet toss.

SeñorAmor

Hunter wrote:

SeñorAmor wrote:

Janson wrote:

How much did it cost?

Very little. Her dad paid for most of it.

Hymen or no-Hymen?

I don't understand.

grug

Hunter wrote:

grug wrote:

are mully and mulsepreactiosus the same person?

Can we gay marry in Aussieland?

only in tasmania

so, oui.

Darth Waiter

SA, she sounds pretty cool. I wish you guys all the best. I am raising my energy drink to toast you in the hopes that your honeymoon will be full of freaky-deaky sex that leaves you exhausted.

Hunter

SeñorAmor wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Weddings are great, especially if you capture something really funny or stupid in the pictures.

When my college roommate got married, the week before we had a guy's weekend of beer, paintball, booze, steak, and strippers. It was the bestest bachelor party ever.

The best part was during paintball I clocked him on the top of his forhead from about 10 feet away as he tried to run past and get a the flag. He had this huge welt and bruise that is clearly visible on his wedding photos. It was my present to him and his new bride.

We're playing R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as we Know it" during the processional (as we leave the church).

I also talked her into playing Yakety Sax during the bouquet toss.

One of my wife's friend with ginormous hooters was wearing a strapless dress during the bouquet toss. The women were like animals for that thing. Let's just say my dad was spot on with the video footage of that moment. As soon as those things came out of her dress, the old man was on them like lions on a wounded zebra.

dush

put a grenade in the bouqet trust me

this is awesome

SeñorAmor

Darth Waiter wrote:

SA, she sounds pretty cool. I wish you guys all the best. I am raising my energy drink to toast you in the hopes that your honeymoon will be full of freaky-deaky sex that leaves you exhausted.

I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the plane ride home. We're going to Riviera Maya.

Defender

I got such a HUGE boner at my friend's wedding when a seven-year-old girl caught the bouquet. I thought it was a boy in a dress. Who lets a seven-year-old go out for that event? They are not at the appropriate age.

Darth Waiter

Hunter, your dad and my dad should go bowling.

SeñorAmor

Defender wrote:

I got such a HUGE boner at my friend's wedding when a seven-year-old girl caught the bouquet. I thought it was a boy in a dress. Who lets a seven-year-old go out for that event? They are not at the appropriate age.

That sounds like some realultimatepower there.

Hunter

SeñorAmor wrote:

Hunter wrote:

SeñorAmor wrote:

Janson wrote:

How much did it cost?

Very little. Her dad paid for most of it.

Hymen or no-Hymen?

I don't understand.

Do you know what a hymen is?

Defender

SeñorAmor wrote:

Defender wrote:

I got such a HUGE boner at my friend's wedding when a seven-year-old girl caught the bouquet. I thought it was a boy in a dress. Who lets a seven-year-old go out for that event? They are not at the appropriate age.

That sounds like some realultimatepower there.

The power to get huge boners? Yes, I do have that power. I mean, they're pretty decently big. I'm not Callius.

SpongeCake

Defender wrote:

I got such a HUGE boner at my friend's wedding when a seven-year-old girl caught the bouquet. I thought it was a boy in a dress. Who lets a seven-year-old go out for that event? They are not at the appropriate age.

I'm laughing so hard and I don't know why.

grug

Hunter

What a lovely couple Grug

Callius

Man, weddings.