ITT discuss the end of my life (marriage ftl)

Butters

Oh yeah. This is pure jealousy. Don't let him get to you. I say tell the guy you know the one girl made out with him and then ask him how your cock tastes.

Callius

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

Defender

Kantankeris wrote:

Stale wrote:

I fully expected her to be on her knees with a mouth full of me 30 seconds after we walked in our front door.

Instead I got 6 hours of screaming about a snot rag.



Maybe I'm just jaded about marriage.

Not everyone has the pop-up-book version. Those people should get a mulligan until they get their ideal version. Monogamy goes against the male libido, women should understand this and make sure there's at least one night where there is guaranteed super-freaky action. Wedding nights need to be remembered. If you aren't a virgin, then you have to do something more outlandish than you've done before.
Things that require a tarp and removing all breakable items from the room.


[EDIT]
You may also do something ultra-romantic too, with candles and scented oils. It doesn't have to be nasty sex, but it should be elaborate sex.

I've never found monogamy to be difficult, and as far as I can tell I'm getting less interested in sex as time goes on. This is based on frequency of desired sexual activity, which was basically non-stop at age 13, pretty goddamn often at age 18, and since then has waned considerably to the point where it really isn't the main event of a normal day.

Elaborate sex? I'm not married, but I have a "no thanks" feeling about it, based on the fact that the whole day is full of stupid elaborate rituals.

Fuck, you know what? If I'm up at 7 AM getting ready for the ceremony and then I'm still up at the reception at 11 PM, do I even want to have sex? I probably will be tired as hell. Or maybe not, how would I know, I've never been married.

Wise_a

Callius wrote:

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

And as long as they have a few years experience, I bet all 4 went on to better jobs somewhere else. If I were you, I'd just take a look at what is available on Monster.com or careerbuilder, that way you can give yourself an idea of how much you can make and what is available.

Then, if they fire you you get severence, and unemployment until you find another job. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Callius

Defender wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Stale wrote:

I fully expected her to be on her knees with a mouth full of me 30 seconds after we walked in our front door.

Instead I got 6 hours of screaming about a snot rag.



Maybe I'm just jaded about marriage.

Not everyone has the pop-up-book version. Those people should get a mulligan until they get their ideal version. Monogamy goes against the male libido, women should understand this and make sure there's at least one night where there is guaranteed super-freaky action. Wedding nights need to be remembered. If you aren't a virgin, then you have to do something more outlandish than you've done before.
Things that require a tarp and removing all breakable items from the room.


[EDIT]
You may also do something ultra-romantic too, with candles and scented oils. It doesn't have to be nasty sex, but it should be elaborate sex.

I've never found monogamy to be difficult, and as far as I can tell I'm getting less interested in sex as time goes on. This is based on frequency of desired sexual activity, which was basically non-stop at age 13, pretty goddamn often at age 18, and since then has waned considerably to the point where it really isn't the main event of a normal day.

Elaborate sex? I'm not married, but I have a "no thanks" feeling about it, based on the fact that the whole day is full of stupid elaborate rituals.

Fuck, you know what? If I'm up at 7 AM getting ready for the ceremony and then I'm still up at the reception at 11 PM, do I even want to have sex? I probably will be tired as hell. Or maybe not, how would I know, I've never been married.

What if the whole day is an elaborate sexual ritual?

Now... hear me out.

It starts at 6 am with a little light bondage, y'know to assert your domination. Then it moves on to a "brunch and bitches" section, where you get head whilst eating brunch with the folks....

J. Grant

Stale wrote:

Defender wrote:

You should be able to return it if it doesn't have sex with you immediately. It's obviously defective and the warranty has to be longer than six hours or whatever.

It's been 4 years.


I'm probably past the warranty grace period. Although maybe I can get some store-credit. Get a slutty-cousin or something for half-price.

Rape her in the hallway.

The surprise will add that certain je ne sais quois that women find alluring.

mrpaku

j grant has stale got a surprise for you

Wise_a

OR


Wait until she gets really drunk, and since she wouldn't have sex with you on her wedding day you could jerk off and shoot it all over her back...

Defender

Wise_a wrote:

OR


Wait until she gets really drunk, and since she wouldn't have sex with you on her wedding day you could jerk off and shoot it all over her back...

This wins, especially because nobody can criticize you since you legally own her!

Hunter

J. Grant wrote:

Stale wrote:

Defender wrote:

You should be able to return it if it doesn't have sex with you immediately. It's obviously defective and the warranty has to be longer than six hours or whatever.

It's been 4 years.


I'm probably past the warranty grace period. Although maybe I can get some store-credit. Get a slutty-cousin or something for half-price.

Rape her in the hallway.

The surprise will add that certain je ne sais quois that women find alluring.

It's not rape if he accidentally falls cock first into her vagina.

Wise_a

Defender wrote:

Wise_a wrote:

OR


Wait until she gets really drunk, and since she wouldn't have sex with you on her wedding day you could jerk off and shoot it all over her back...

This wins, especially because nobody can criticize you since you legally own her!

Defender, I just want to memorialize this post as the first time you have ever replied to something I've said in a non-argumentative way.

Does this mean that this is the first time I am right about anything?

Jordyn

Hunter wrote:

J. Grant wrote:

Stale wrote:

Defender wrote:

You should be able to return it if it doesn't have sex with you immediately. It's obviously defective and the warranty has to be longer than six hours or whatever.

It's been 4 years.


I'm probably past the warranty grace period. Although maybe I can get some store-credit. Get a slutty-cousin or something for half-price.

Rape her in the hallway.

The surprise will add that certain je ne sais quois that women find alluring.

It's not rape if he accidentally falls cock first into her vagina.

over and over and over again.

Slungsolow

Callius wrote:

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

I'm sure they're only firing people who made twice your pay. Relax.... you're cheap labor!

Callius

How would Stale rape her? I mean, motherfucker can't even walk, much less get a boner.

Wise_a

Also, I think this might be appropriate here:

Callius

Slungsolow wrote:

Callius wrote:

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

I'm sure they're only firing people who made twice your pay. Relax.... you're cheap labor!

Nah, only about $15k more than I'm making.

Hunter

Callius wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

Callius wrote:

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

I'm sure they're only firing people who made twice your pay. Relax.... you're cheap labor!

Nah, only about $15k more than I'm making.

So they make 16K

Drez

Man, I worked so hard on my EULA to get only one response.

Slungsolow

Hunter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

Callius wrote:

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

I'm sure they're only firing people who made twice your pay. Relax.... you're cheap labor!

Nah, only about $15k more than I'm making.

So they make 16K

They pay them in delicious cheeseburgers.

Darth Waiter

Drez wrote:

Man, I worked so hard on my EULA to get only one response.

Dude, you wrote that? I thought it was a cut-and-paste from something else. Thumbs up, Drez. I actually saved that for my boss.

Hunter

Drez wrote:

Man, I worked so hard on my EULA to get only one response.

I thought it was good.

Wise_a

Drez wrote:

Man, I worked so hard on my EULA to get only one response.

My bad, it was pretty sweet. I just don't see a need for it - this roommate of his is just totally out line. Its none of his fucking business, and I would tell him that. The next step would be kicking his ass.

Slungsolow

Right now Elise is at the Apple Store yelling at some poor schmuck who calls himself a genius. I hope she talks the fucker into giving us a new iMac because 3 power supplies in 18 months is fucking bullshit.


I blame the Mac thread in H/A for this.

Slungsolow

this is why you get married folks, so someone else can do your dirty work.

J. Grant

Jordyn wrote:

Hunter wrote:

It's not rape if he accidentally falls cock first into her vagina.

over and over and over again.

Hey, once you're in one of those things, It's really hard to get out.

I mean, they're slippery.

Hunter

Slungsolow wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

Callius wrote:

Darth Waiter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

Callius wrote:

So, they have laid off 4 people at my work so far.

Should I ask my supervisor if I'm next or should I keep my head low until I find another job?

Geez Callius, what do you do?

Tech support for a buncha' douches.

As long as you can perform and don't exhibit any real bitching or moaning, you should be okay for now.

The thing is that the 4 people they let go already were really solid techs.

I'm sure they're only firing people who made twice your pay. Relax.... you're cheap labor!

Nah, only about $15k more than I'm making.

So they make 16K

They pay them in delicious cheeseburgers.

Hippies work for hemp necklaces, trinkets and colored beads. They're like Native Americans, only dirty and without a rich cultural history.

Grandaddy Delicious

Wise_a wrote:

Drez wrote:

Man, I worked so hard on my EULA to get only one response.

My bad, it was pretty sweet. I just don't see a need for it - this roommate of his is just totally out line. Its none of his fucking business, and I would tell him that. The next step would be kicking his ass.

This is your quintessential example of fish in a barrel. There is no sport in it. He's about forty pounds overweight and has had knee surgery recently on his torn ACL.

Slungsolow

Hunter wrote:

Hippies work for hemp necklaces, trinkets and colored beads. They're like Native Americans, only dirty and without a rich cultural history.

if that's the case, I have a couple of blankets for Cal...

Hunter

Slungsolow wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Hippies work for hemp necklaces, trinkets and colored beads. They're like Native Americans, only dirty and without a rich cultural history.

if that's the case, I have a couple of blankets for Cal...

I hope it's infected with SARS virus.

Or it was made from non-free range or free-trade sheep. Better yet, they burned down 2 acres of rain forest to grow the cotton for each blanket.

Drez

DW, yeah I wrote it. Hunter, DW, Wise - thanks

Callius

Slung would never do anything to upset or hurt me.

J. Grant

Callius wrote:

Slung would never do anything to upset or hurt me.

Yeah, but he might rape the living daylights out of you.

Hunter

J. Grant wrote:

Callius wrote:

Slung would never do anything to upset or hurt me.

Yeah, but he might rape the living daylights out of you.

You can't rape the willing.

J. Grant

Hunter wrote:

J. Grant wrote:

Callius wrote:

Slung would never do anything to upset or hurt me.

Yeah, but he might rape the living daylights out of you.

You can't rape the willing.

:winky:

Grandaddy Delicious

THAT FAGGOT

THAT FAGGOT

Debbie just came over and my roommate thought I had already left

HE IS IN THE OTHER ROOM TELLING HER TO GET SOME SELF-RESPECT

Quetzi

Grandaddy Delicious wrote:

THAT FAGGOT

THAT FAGGOT

Debbie just came over and my roommate thought I had already left

HE IS IN THE OTHER ROOM TELLING HER TO GET SOME SELF-RESPECT

Pretend you haven't heard anything and just wander out.

mrpaku

grounds for an ass whipping

Darth Waiter

Cut his fucking throat then fuck her stupid in a pool of his blood.

Or you could just knock on the door and say, "I can hear you, dipshit."

naporeon

Let me get this straight...you are only "making out" with this girl? How old are you?

Slungsolow

walk in the room with your dick out and ask which pussy wants your dick more.