Ok, dudes:
is it even possible for a guy to be attracted to a girl who's taller and heavier than him?
(it's not that I'm a giant, it's that the relevant guy is very small.)
Most of the women I've dated have been heavier than me, and usually about my height (I am pretty skinny though, so it's not hard to be heavier than me, especially if you have tits and ass).
Personally I would have no qualms with dating someone taller than me, but most women prefer taller men so it rarely happens.
I'm getting some profile views when I answer questions and things like that, but not much else going on lately. Was wondering if you guys could take a look and see if I should change anything up: www.okcupid.com/profile/male__nurse
I'm not put off by dating women taller than me. It's only happened once, though (I'm a little over six foot.)
Assuming I found the person attractive, I can't imagine weight would be an issue either, although I don't think I've ever dated a woman who weighed more than I did.
Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
it was the smallest on the list but
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DemonStaceyTTODewback's DaughterIn love with the TaySwayRegistered Userregular
I'd say do it.
The "getting to know you" bit should be done in person. She's on OkCupid because she wants to date, isn't she?
There's a thing called "commitment bias" that makes people more likely to follow through on something they've already said they'll do; it is harder for her to blow you off once she's already agreed to meet you. (Yeah, that's exploiting psychology for personal gain, but it's not the worst thing in the world.)
So you're saying time frame shouldn't matter at all? It's cool for me to go for it after a just a few days? If so, sweet and thank you.
As for the height thing... plenty of people are fine with it. I personally could not date a girl taller than me. Just one of my particular turn offs.
I can't date guys shorter than me. I just can't do it. It's a quirk I've actively tried to eliminate, but I just don't find shorter guys attractive. Well, let me rephrase that: I find myself unable to be attracted to shorter guys, even if I find them attractive, because I feel awkward, gawky, and ungainly around them. I know I'm not either of the three, but it throws me back to middle school when I was already 5'8" and the boys were...not. haha. I'm fine with guys my height or only just taller (which makes me taller in heels), but any actual shorter-than-me-ness throws me off entirely. I dislike how that limits my options, but as often as I've tried to eliminate that issue, I just can't do it. Shorter just doesn't do it for me.
I can't date guys shorter than me. I just can't do it. It's a quirk I've actively tried to eliminate, but I just don't find shorter guys attractive. Well, let me rephrase that: I find myself unable to be attracted to shorter guys, even if I find them attractive, because I feel awkward, gawky, and ungainly around them. I know I'm not either of the three, but it throws me back to middle school when I was already 5'8" and the boys were...not. haha. I'm fine with guys my height or only just taller (which makes me taller in heels), but any actual shorter-than-me-ness throws me off entirely. I dislike how that limits my options, but as often as I've tried to eliminate that issue, I just can't do it. Shorter just doesn't do it for me.
Girl I've been talking to online that I met on OKC... we just have a weird freaking relationship. We talk about masturbation, including during. We call each other faggots and say we're going to rape each other. etc etc.
Also, flirted with a "coworker" all day at work today. Its in parentheses, because she works at a different store, but was covering someones shift at mine. Got her number, and she made it clear she wanted to see me again at some point. Super cute girl too, so thats nice.
I've also traditionally not been attracted to guys who are shorter than me. Then again I'm barely 5'2", so this was pretty much only ever relevant in Japan.
Also I have so far found "exceptional exceptions" to all the things that tend to make me not attracted to guys. I dislike beards, shaved heads, and guys who are more than 50-60lbs overweight, so of course the last guy I had a serious crush on was an overweight baldy with an unfortunate beard. Didn't stop him from being really cute though. It was like the universe was trying to teach me a lesson about assumptions.
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Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
I have another question, one that I'm actually a bit hesitant to ask.
I'm... let's just say... adjacent to 30, and I get the feeling that that's going to turn a lot of guys off, much more than being 28 or 29 would. I feel like some 24-year-olds will message 29-year-olds, but fewer 25-year-olds will message someone who is 30, if that makes sense.
The other side of this is that I don't look as old as I am. Remotely. I got carded buying tickets for Machete yesterday. I got carded buying the Orange box three years ago. I get carded 80% of the time when I try to buy alcohol. The woman next to me on the plane back from PAX was shocked that I wasn't being picked up from the airport by my parents. My best friends are all a few years younger than me, my hobbies skew younger than I am, etc etc.
I guess I feel like I'm in a weird place far as dating sites go. I'm pretty young-acting, cheerful, and hyperactive and I have young-ish hobbies. I don't have much in common with most guys I know near my own age, and the last few guys I dated were three or four years younger than me. But I worry that that ominous milestone will doom me. Doom!
So yeah. What do you guys think about age differences, especially as the age approaches and passes 30?
Cultural Geek Girl on
Buttoneer, Brigadeer, and Keeper of the Book of Wil Wheaton.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
Honestly, I'm 24 and I've messaged women as old as 31. Heck, one of my friends who I'm kind of interested in just turned 31, but she looks 25. Age isn't so much a turnoff as personality is.
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Casually HardcoreOnce an Asshole. Trying to be better.Registered Userregular
edited September 2010
It really depends.
I'm 26, and I don't mind dating women who're 30+.
The only thing is, I'm working on a college degree. So chances are, we'll be in two different stages in life and things may conflict. For example, I may have to relocate to start my career, while she may already have her career going well. Of course, there's the whole kids thing that is becoming a more frequent thing for me. I love kids, but I don't want to get too close to the kids cause it'll only be that much more painful if things gets sour.
So yeah, it's all a bunch of 'depends'. In my position it's easier to date younger women, but it's much more satisfying to date women my age and older (but, at the same time, harder).
The only thing is, I'm working on a college degree. So chances are, we'll be in two different stages in life and things my conflict. For example, I may have to relocate to start my career, while she may already have her career going well. Of course, there's the whole kids thing that is becoming a more frequent thing for me. I love kids, but I don't want to get too close to the kids cause it'll only be that much more painful if things gets sour.
So yeah, it's all a bunch of 'depends'. In my position it's easier to date younger women, but it's much more satisfying to date women my age and older (but, at the same time, harder).
Yeah, I think this is the main issue.
But, it's a case-by-case thing, so in plenty of instances I'm sure it wouldn't matter.
I'm 20 and I would date someone who was around 30, but I wouldn't message any woman that old since the majority of women are uncomfortable dating anyone even as little as two years younger than themselves. So, while many guys wouldn't be opposed to it, there could be some unavoidable problems with where people are at in their lives, and also you might have to take more initiative in messaging people as many younger guys would consider it a waste of time to message older women, since so few would respond.
I have another question, one that I'm actually a bit hesitant to ask.
I'm... let's just say... adjacent to 30, and I get the feeling that that's going to turn a lot of guys off, much more than being 28 or 29 would. I feel like some 24-year-olds will message 29-year-olds, but fewer 25-year-olds will message someone who is 30, if that makes sense.
The other side of this is that I don't look as old as I am. Remotely. I got carded buying tickets for Machete yesterday. I got carded buying the Orange box three years ago. I get carded 80% of the time when I try to buy alcohol. The woman next to me on the plane back from PAX was shocked that I wasn't being picked up from the airport by my parents. My best friends are all a few years younger than me, my hobbies skew younger than I am, etc etc.
I guess I feel like I'm in a weird place far as dating sites go. I'm pretty young-acting, cheerful, and hyperactive and I have young-ish hobbies. I don't have much in common with most guys I know near my own age, and the last few guys I dated were three or four years younger than me. But I worry that that ominous milestone will doom me. Doom!
So yeah. What do you guys think about age differences, especially as the age approaches and passes 30?
I think this is super gender dependant. Women seem to be far more willing to look at guys older than they are, while men typically do not look at girls significantly older than them, or message them. There was some OK trends stuff about that a while back. Probably not what you want to hear, but I think thats the truth.
I guess you could lie about your age, but I don't think that is a good way to start off any sort of relationship.
Also, as a dude over 30, I should mention that many of us will be more than happy to sink to what ever lower age level of maturity you may require.
It's much more a matter of who your peer group is than anything. You could just decline to put your age on the site (or lie, I guess), and construct your profile, and see who you get messages from. I don't think that many guys wouldn't send messages on the grounds that "oh man she's 30" (or whatever), but if your profile is full of "man look how many responsible 30 year old things I spend my time doing," it's probably reasonable not to expect a bunch of messages from 25 year old men.
Unless there is some kind of phrase used to alert 25 year old men to these things
in which case please tell me what it is
Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
it was the smallest on the list but
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
Subject change:Also, if a guy in his early/mid twenties messaged me and was interesting and intriguing, I'd respond. I'm 32. *shrug* Every guy is different, so I'm not going to make assumption about his life-skills level, maturity level in comparison with older-than-him guys, or what he's looking for. I would be hopeful he wasn't doing to that me either, since his assumptions would likely be incorrect. haha
But what's the solution? Going out and meeting people in real life? That's way too much work. Going places and talking to women...nuts to that.
Yes. That is exactly what happens. The people here who try internet dating use that exclusively. They never try to meet friends of friends, go on blind dates through acquaintances, chat up co-workers (dangerous territory, skipping this might be for the best), flirt with random strangers, go to bars/clubs or join groups, events or volunteer to expand their social network.
Truly the only reason any of us have any trouble whatsoever is because we do nothing but type away furiously at our keyboards until the letters have worn off and we've sent out a thousand messages, covering every last single woman or man (as preference might indicate) within anything resembling a reasonable distance away.
So if people are replying to that crap, imagine how much action I'll get with a real suave photo and a brilliant profile written by a gifted prose-maker like myself. I imagine I'll be beating these unattractive internet nuts off with the proverbial stick.
Why are you here? Go forth, you textual Lothario! Digitally grab hold of that Craigslist-like site and rock the shit out it!
there are basically zero women taller than me, which is handy
Seconded, but it'd be nice to date someone close to my height again. Most of the women I date seem to be either nearly my height in high heels (like 5'10"+ before heels) or barely 5'0" tall.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
since the majority of women are uncomfortable dating anyone even as little as two years younger than themselves.
Where does this assumption come from?
Then again I seem to be setting myself up for cougar-hood since I always end up knowing and flirting with guys unfortunately younger than me on the internets. Someone my own age (almost 30 as well) is rare given my vidya gaming interests, it seems.
Anyway it is more about life stages than actual age, I think, as someone mentioned.
Oh shit I just opened up Pandora's Box. A friend of a friend really liked me a few years ago but I was able to throw her off the scent and thankfully she never did or said anything embarrassing.
I see a OKC profile and think to myself, "Is that her?" My curiosity gets the best of me and I click on it. Indeed it is her, and... shit! She's online right now! Close window! Phew maybe she didn't notice...
I check back a few hours later and an instant message pops up saying "it's you, hi!" Let's see if I can avoid the subject of dating again or if things are gonna get awkward...
So, on the plus side, I had sex! Killed that seven week losing streak.
On the bad side, I missed the last public transit out of the city I traveled to to have said sex, and now I'm sitting on the street in el cerrito, wondering what I'm going to do for the next four hours until the public transit starts again. I also have work tomorrow.
I know this isn't livejournal, sorry for blogging, but UGHHHHH.
I always assume that the people who have a huge amount of sex with a large number of people are simply... attracted to and involved with a larger number of people. They probably also have more of an ability to let go and not think too much.
This assumption has held up pretty well in my experience. The most sexually active person I know was willing to make out with pretty much anything on two legs. A girl I know who has had a really large number of boyfriends once admitted that she pretty much finds all males attractive on some level. These are also people who are comfortable with and capable of alcohol-fueled one-night-stands and bar hookups and all that stuff.
I'm not being critical, here. I often wish I was that kind of girl; I'm just not (so far, anyway). Thinking back on my life it wouldn't have been hard to maintain a record similar to your friends', IF I was attracted to way, way more people than I am. I also don't have that grand ability to say "you know what, this person isn't terribly interesting or attractive but they seem nice enough and I'm horny so why not at least attempt to make an enjoyable night of it?"
Cultural Geek Girl on
Buttoneer, Brigadeer, and Keeper of the Book of Wil Wheaton.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
Don't get me wrong, I went nearly a year when I went from the girl who took my card to my first serious girlfriend. After that though, it was like BAM, fuck buddy, BAM, sorta girlfriend................
I dunno, I'm surrounded by hot women who tell me they want to have sex with me, so its hard not doing it.
Also, the sex wasn't good. Don't have sex in woodland areas(aka, a ditch next to a sewer with trees and dirt and shit). You'll lose your belt, get wet, your knees hurt and you miss your train.
the girl was persian and had a degree in applied maths (i want to be an engineer), so i thought she was pretty and had an interesting life
but
i couldn't really talk with her, maybe she was shy
So you finall got that date with Hakks, huh?
I started talking to another girl yesterday. We talked for like 7 hours and have a dinner date for tonight. Yay. My only concerns with this girl is that she might be a bit clingy. But I'll find out.
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Most of the women I've dated have been heavier than me, and usually about my height (I am pretty skinny though, so it's not hard to be heavier than me, especially if you have tits and ass).
Personally I would have no qualms with dating someone taller than me, but most women prefer taller men so it rarely happens.
www.okcupid.com/profile/male__nurse
Assuming I found the person attractive, I can't imagine weight would be an issue either, although I don't think I've ever dated a woman who weighed more than I did.
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
So you're saying time frame shouldn't matter at all? It's cool for me to go for it after a just a few days? If so, sweet and thank you.
As for the height thing... plenty of people are fine with it. I personally could not date a girl taller than me. Just one of my particular turn offs.
She just told me about these classy beach model shoots, posted them on facebook and oh my goodness
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
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How tall are you?
Girl I've been talking to online that I met on OKC... we just have a weird freaking relationship. We talk about masturbation, including during. We call each other faggots and say we're going to rape each other. etc etc.
Also, flirted with a "coworker" all day at work today. Its in parentheses, because she works at a different store, but was covering someones shift at mine. Got her number, and she made it clear she wanted to see me again at some point. Super cute girl too, so thats nice.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
Also I have so far found "exceptional exceptions" to all the things that tend to make me not attracted to guys. I dislike beards, shaved heads, and guys who are more than 50-60lbs overweight, so of course the last guy I had a serious crush on was an overweight baldy with an unfortunate beard. Didn't stop him from being really cute though. It was like the universe was trying to teach me a lesson about assumptions.
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
I'm... let's just say... adjacent to 30, and I get the feeling that that's going to turn a lot of guys off, much more than being 28 or 29 would. I feel like some 24-year-olds will message 29-year-olds, but fewer 25-year-olds will message someone who is 30, if that makes sense.
The other side of this is that I don't look as old as I am. Remotely. I got carded buying tickets for Machete yesterday. I got carded buying the Orange box three years ago. I get carded 80% of the time when I try to buy alcohol. The woman next to me on the plane back from PAX was shocked that I wasn't being picked up from the airport by my parents. My best friends are all a few years younger than me, my hobbies skew younger than I am, etc etc.
I guess I feel like I'm in a weird place far as dating sites go. I'm pretty young-acting, cheerful, and hyperactive and I have young-ish hobbies. I don't have much in common with most guys I know near my own age, and the last few guys I dated were three or four years younger than me. But I worry that that ominous milestone will doom me. Doom!
So yeah. What do you guys think about age differences, especially as the age approaches and passes 30?
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
I'm 26, and I don't mind dating women who're 30+.
The only thing is, I'm working on a college degree. So chances are, we'll be in two different stages in life and things may conflict. For example, I may have to relocate to start my career, while she may already have her career going well. Of course, there's the whole kids thing that is becoming a more frequent thing for me. I love kids, but I don't want to get too close to the kids cause it'll only be that much more painful if things gets sour.
So yeah, it's all a bunch of 'depends'. In my position it's easier to date younger women, but it's much more satisfying to date women my age and older (but, at the same time, harder).
Yeah, I think this is the main issue.
But, it's a case-by-case thing, so in plenty of instances I'm sure it wouldn't matter.
I'm 20 and I would date someone who was around 30, but I wouldn't message any woman that old since the majority of women are uncomfortable dating anyone even as little as two years younger than themselves. So, while many guys wouldn't be opposed to it, there could be some unavoidable problems with where people are at in their lives, and also you might have to take more initiative in messaging people as many younger guys would consider it a waste of time to message older women, since so few would respond.
I think this is super gender dependant. Women seem to be far more willing to look at guys older than they are, while men typically do not look at girls significantly older than them, or message them. There was some OK trends stuff about that a while back. Probably not what you want to hear, but I think thats the truth.
I guess you could lie about your age, but I don't think that is a good way to start off any sort of relationship.
Also, as a dude over 30, I should mention that many of us will be more than happy to sink to what ever lower age level of maturity you may require.
but at 6', the only girls I really see taller than me are usually like models.
If not, they tower over most people, so I'm like "GAH-ZIRRA" and run.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
Unless there is some kind of phrase used to alert 25 year old men to these things
in which case please tell me what it is
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
Your skills of detecting are win.
Subject change:Also, if a guy in his early/mid twenties messaged me and was interesting and intriguing, I'd respond. I'm 32. *shrug* Every guy is different, so I'm not going to make assumption about his life-skills level, maturity level in comparison with older-than-him guys, or what he's looking for. I would be hopeful he wasn't doing to that me either, since his assumptions would likely be incorrect. haha
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Yes. That is exactly what happens. The people here who try internet dating use that exclusively. They never try to meet friends of friends, go on blind dates through acquaintances, chat up co-workers (dangerous territory, skipping this might be for the best), flirt with random strangers, go to bars/clubs or join groups, events or volunteer to expand their social network.
Truly the only reason any of us have any trouble whatsoever is because we do nothing but type away furiously at our keyboards until the letters have worn off and we've sent out a thousand messages, covering every last single woman or man (as preference might indicate) within anything resembling a reasonable distance away.
Why are you here? Go forth, you textual Lothario! Digitally grab hold of that Craigslist-like site and rock the shit out it!
Seconded, but it'd be nice to date someone close to my height again. Most of the women I date seem to be either nearly my height in high heels (like 5'10"+ before heels) or barely 5'0" tall.
Where does this assumption come from?
Then again I seem to be setting myself up for cougar-hood since I always end up knowing and flirting with guys unfortunately younger than me on the internets. Someone my own age (almost 30 as well) is rare given my vidya gaming interests, it seems.
Anyway it is more about life stages than actual age, I think, as someone mentioned.
the girl was persian and had a degree in applied maths (i want to be an engineer), so i thought she was pretty and had an interesting life
but
i couldn't really talk with her, maybe she was shy
I see a OKC profile and think to myself, "Is that her?" My curiosity gets the best of me and I click on it. Indeed it is her, and... shit! She's online right now! Close window! Phew maybe she didn't notice...
I check back a few hours later and an instant message pops up saying "it's you, hi!" Let's see if I can avoid the subject of dating again or if things are gonna get awkward...
Their stated age preferences, I'd gather.
I've always made sure that my age is in the center of whatever range I state, but most people do not follow that rule.
Most female profile around my age go X-2 to X+10 and most men go X-12 to X+3.
So really, it's not a matter of not going for older women, it's that even women just two years older than me would prefer I not contact them.
On the bad side, I missed the last public transit out of the city I traveled to to have said sex, and now I'm sitting on the street in el cerrito, wondering what I'm going to do for the next four hours until the public transit starts again. I also have work tomorrow.
I know this isn't livejournal, sorry for blogging, but UGHHHHH.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
i was talking to friends on vent and one girl turned around and said she has never gone more than 2 weeks without having sex since she was 15
another piped up and said the longest he's ever gone is 2 months and that was a loooong 2 months *chuckle*
what the fuck i haven't had any in over a year, do these people just go out and nut on somebody or what???
or am i being trolled hmmmm wait actually don't answer that one :rotate:
e: okay i conveniently forgot a one night stand i had a month ago. it was terrible so there's that, my original point of 'good sex' still stands
This assumption has held up pretty well in my experience. The most sexually active person I know was willing to make out with pretty much anything on two legs. A girl I know who has had a really large number of boyfriends once admitted that she pretty much finds all males attractive on some level. These are also people who are comfortable with and capable of alcohol-fueled one-night-stands and bar hookups and all that stuff.
I'm not being critical, here. I often wish I was that kind of girl; I'm just not (so far, anyway). Thinking back on my life it wouldn't have been hard to maintain a record similar to your friends', IF I was attracted to way, way more people than I am. I also don't have that grand ability to say "you know what, this person isn't terribly interesting or attractive but they seem nice enough and I'm horny so why not at least attempt to make an enjoyable night of it?"
Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
Don't get me wrong, I went nearly a year when I went from the girl who took my card to my first serious girlfriend. After that though, it was like BAM, fuck buddy, BAM, sorta girlfriend................
I dunno, I'm surrounded by hot women who tell me they want to have sex with me, so its hard not doing it.
Also, the sex wasn't good. Don't have sex in woodland areas(aka, a ditch next to a sewer with trees and dirt and shit). You'll lose your belt, get wet, your knees hurt and you miss your train.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
That sounds like the worst thing to have in common!
So you finall got that date with Hakks, huh?
I started talking to another girl yesterday. We talked for like 7 hours and have a dinner date for tonight. Yay. My only concerns with this girl is that she might be a bit clingy. But I'll find out.
:P
X-12 will get me arrested (though it's rapidly moving from automatically illegal toward just extremely creepy and a terrible idea)