Do you think you are good at video games?
Like, really really good? Better than Billy Mitchell?
Okay, bad example.
Well Super Meat Boy would like to have a word with you.
This game is hard. Fucking. Core. You'll be reading through this thread having played the first couple of levels and say man, fuck Josh. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
Well first of all, don't interrupt me. It's rude. Secondly, fuck you
guy. This game will eat your balls and then shit them onto your mama's eyeballs.
And that's just a taste
of what Super Meat Boy is going to thrust upon you. Seriously, this game will cut a hole in your chair and swing a heavy thing at your balls like in that movie with that one guy. And you will like it.
But for those who stick it out, you will find yourself performing amazing aerial feats. Meat Boy will fly through levels with buzzsaws shaving the pixels right next to you, seemingly impossible jumps performed and all bandages retrieved.
Oh, how did I get this far without mentioning the story? You're Meat Boy. Dr. Fetus, who nobody likes, steals Bandage Girl. You have to rescue her.
Along the way, you will confront spikes, saws, gears, fans, salt, missiles, homing mouth thingies, maggots, and a whole shitload more. Everything kills you in one hit. When you die, you go back to the beginning of the level, but this is good as the action is fast-paced and there's no loading after a death. Just more death, over and over, until you get it the fuck right one time
, which is the only thing that Super Meat Boy demands of you.
Bandages can be retrieved, but they tend to make a level way more difficult in some way. Die after grabbing one, and you start over without it. It's brutal but that's what you signed on for when you became a god damn man
(even if you are a woman).
Get enough bandages and you unlock some groovy characters from indie gaming legend. Here's the big list: (red
means PC exclusive, green
means XBLA exclusive, white means available on both)
The Kid (I Wanna Be the Guy)
Pink Knight (Castle Crashers)
The Ninja (N+)
Goo Ball (from World of Goo)
Steve from Minecraft
Right now this game is only available on XBLA and PC. Unfortunately, a Wii version was in the works but Nintendo is really restrictive with their digital distro requirements and nobody seems to want to publish a full retail version of this game.
And there are leaderboards!
We'll be getting a level editor sometime January 2011 too, so we can all make horrible levels for each other. The editor is supposedly capable of creating anything in the regular game with the exception of bosses. You'll need to be able to beat your own level (or get a friend to do so) before they can be uploaded.
Have patience, train your twitch muscles, and you will accomplish what some gamers can only dream of. Or you can be a failure who never gets to bone the opposite sex. It's up to you.
The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.