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Is this one of those things that is common for all virgins and it will gradually become less tight? And how can we alleviate it in the meantime? I don't really want to have sex if it hurts her.
If it was the first time for her, things will be different in a few days. Meanwhile, natural lube is the best lube; excitement, mouths and fingers, or even a few pre-intercourse orgasms should serve just fine, and loosen up things considerably.
If dryness is still an issue, sure storebought can help- my current water based fave is Maximus, it stays slick over the long haul and doesn't get rubbery or tacky. Astroglide is alright, but gets kinda stringy on round two.
So I took her to dinner last night and told her how I felt and inquired into how she felt about such things. It wasn't really awkward at all, I just always build things up in my head until it becomes some big thing. Basically, she is okay with doing things before marriage... and, uh, let's just say last night was a lot of fun. A lot of fun.
One thing led to another and we wound up having sex, and it was a lot better than I expected, even though we didn't complete for reasons I will elaborate on now. We seem to have run into a slight issue, and that is fitting inside her. I have an average sized penis (the girth is slightly above, I believe), and it was extremely tight inside. We took it slowly but I stopped because it was causing her discomfort.
Is this one of those things that is common for all virgins and it will gradually become less tight? And how can we alleviate it in the meantime? I don't really want to have sex if it hurts her.
I'm glad it went well, though I wasn't expecting you to go all the way
Yeah, tightness is normal. Use a finger to start and when she becomes more comfortable, two fingers (though if your fingers are large, one should be good). When she becomes comfortable with that, then you should try intercourse again. This might take a while but it'll be worth it in the end for both of you
And don't forget, foreplay is your friend
Rayze on
0
FiggyFighter of the night manChampion of the sunRegistered Userregular
Foreplay to get started, lube to finish up. Depending on the time involved, of course. Too much will make a mess and sap feeling; too little and it won't feel good for either of you.
there's not much lube on condoms, women are different so they're not all going to be wet and slicked up for you after ten minutes of foreplay, so yeah get some lube and see if that helps as well
:^: To a great outcome to your conversation. I'm very glad you decided to talk to her.
To the poster who apparently has run into a lot of girls who don't like talking. Were you checking with them constantly while actually doing stuff or doing what the OP did and going out to a nice dinner and discussing boundaries and likes/dislikes? The first would annoy the crap out of me as well, but I don't think I have had a relationship since about 9th grade without the second.
Back to the OP:
Yes, lube is good but it may also just take time. I know most women apparently start enjoying sex/not feeling any pain pretty quickly but it took a month or two for me. Don't give up even if it doesn't feel wonderful after 2 or 3 times.
Kistra on
Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
If lube is inconvenient to come by the least you can do is go down on her for a good long while and then use some fingers to test the waters, so to speak. Don't make intercourse the focus and you will go far.
Well, congratulations on fulfilling your namesake :winky:
Lube is what really made things work for the wife and I...but not just any lube (not all lubes are created equally). We settled on KY Jelly and I doubt we're ever going back...
...But not the sensitive stuff. We tried that, and it makes her uncomfortable after a while...which is what we figured it was meant to alleve...but whatever.
It doesn't get sticky, doesn't take much, doesn't smell or taste, feels very nice and natural (not greasy like some KY label stuff).
Natural lube is great, but if you're fooling around and stuff, even if she's got no issues with personal lubricant and the amounts, it will still soak in to your fingers or dry out at some point. I've found a little Pjur makes the whole thing nicer start to finish.
Sorry for the late reply... been very busy with school, work, and the GF the last few days. Thanks for all the advice! Foreplay definitely helped a lot, though I still used some lube since entry was still pretty tight.
I'm looking to take this to the next step, though... I really want to do anal. Now, last time I tried to put it in there and she didn't respond too well, but I guess I should just try again and hopefully she'll get used to it? Any tips?
Ha! Just kidding (to the part about anal)! Some serious questions now:
1) Condoms feel very constrictive... is this something I will just get used to? It's a little painful when I first put it on and roll it down.
2) After some discussion we both decided to shave our pubic hair... any tips on how to do this? I'm deathly afraid of putting a razor down there, and I'm not exactly sure how I would go about shaving my balls anyway.
So, I'm pretty sure using a razor is the only way to get it completely smooth, but I share your fear and have never done this. I simply use an electric razor or a small pair of trimming scissors and try to get as close as possible without drawing blood.
Ha! Just kidding (to the part about anal)! Some serious questions now:
1) Condoms feel very constrictive... is this something I will just get used to? It's a little painful when I first put it on and roll it down.
2) After some discussion we both decided to shave our pubic hair... any tips on how to do this? I'm deathly afraid of putting a razor down there, and I'm not exactly sure how I would go about shaving my balls anyway.
That's all I can think of now... thanks!
Getting some nail scissors and go out at is the easiest way to get it under control. If you need to get it shorter then use a razor to get it smooth. Its near impossible to use a razor when its a jungle at the start though. A warning about shaving; it will itch like hell when you do it. It goes away if you keep it short but if you let it grow back it prickles and itches and is annoying.
Condom wise, try getting a bigger size. Size isn't really determined by length but by girth. But make sure you do get a bigger size. I was in a commited relationship and hadn't used them since I was 19 but when I got out of it I couldn't get off since it was too tight.
1) Condoms feel very constrictive... is this something I will just get used to? It's a little painful when I first put it on and roll it down.
Condoms suck, but pregnancy sucks more. That said, if the brand and size you're using causes pain or numbness, you should definitely switch to something else. Not only do too-tight condoms not feel good, they're at higher risk of breaking, too.
Don't be afraid to try Magnums or XL condoms - they're not designed for John Holmes, just for guys who are a little bigger than average in one dimension or another. Also, Condomania is a fantastic resource - they have a huge selection if you're interested in buying online, and they provide detailed measurement information for the vast majority of brands and styles, which is useful for knowing what to buy locally too.
2) After some discussion we both decided to shave our pubic hair... any tips on how to do this? I'm deathly afraid of putting a razor down there, and I'm not exactly sure how I would go about shaving my balls anyway.
Keep the skin taut, and never shave directly against the grain. Guys really can just get away with shaving up top and trimming down below, there's very little appreciable difference between totally shaved balls and closely trimmed ones - and any difference that does exist disappears within two days, anyway. For women, shaving can be a huge pain in the ass, so good luck to her. Also, since she's still living with her parents, I'd recommend leaving the front patch furred, and just skinning the hide from the lips themselves - mothers do walk in unannounced on their daughters at inopportune moments (like for instance while towelling off after a shower), and nothing says awkward like trying to answer questions like "You shaved your vagina? Who else is looking at it, and why do they want you to look like a 12 year old girl?"
IMHE manscaping is best achieved with a beard trimmer. About a half inch will be smooth enough to stay down and not be rough, while being long enough to wick away sweat and not itch like a bastard. Going all the way down is an experience though, I'll say that.
...not a particularily pleasent experience, but hey you only live once, and you'll appreciate what she's going through if you both give it a go.
IMHE manscaping is best achieved with a beard trimmer. About a half inch will be smooth enough to stay down and not be rough, while being long enough to wick away sweat and not itch like a bastard. Going all the way down is an experience though, I'll say that.
...not a particularily pleasent experience, but hey you only live once, and you'll appreciate what she's going through if you both give it a go.
I don't think too many men wax their balls.
Demerdar on
0
Rear Admiral ChocoI wanna be an owl, Jerry!Owl York CityRegistered Userregular
edited February 2011
You can pretty easily shave your hair down to nothing with a multi-blade razor with four or five blades. I've recently started shaving my face with a shavette (sort of like a straight razor, NEVER PUT THOSE NEAR YOUR JUNK), but I've kept multi-blades around for when it's manscaping time.
Just pull the skin taut and you should be good for as much of that area as you care to shave. Shavings balls is kind of a bitch for time but I've never cut myself.
Do it in the shower with hot water running on you, too.
Electric razor/trimmer thing is probably the safest bet. To me, personally, scissors seem like a worse idea than a razor, but go with whatever makes you the most comfortable.
Kistra on
Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
You'll need a beard trimmer and scissors on your first go cutting down there.
Shaving with a razor isn't that bad once the hair is short enough and you move in the correct directions. In fact, you will cut yourself less often with a razor than a trimmer once you get down to the skin. Also, if you want to shave your balls, the only way to go is razor. If you gently glide it and use the correct motion, there's really very little chance of harm.
The more you do it, the easier it becomes. As for the condoms, just try another brand. Lifestyles SKIN is my current favorite. But if the condom isn't tight when you put it on, you're not going to feel as much so...your call.
Shaving your balls is actually pretty easy and a triple bladed safety razor like a mach 3 works just fine as long as it's not too worn from previous use. Even the itching is something that goes away pretty quickly if you keep shaving it down occasionally. So don't assume the guys that are telling you it will always itch after shaving are right.
Worked pretty well for me back in the days when I was still on the dating market and shaving my back and other places of interest. The progressive heads will come in handy.
Also, you should both shave each other's stuff, since it will be easier for the other person to see and work around the goods. Don't shave it all to start, but rather get progressively shorter with time. Like go from 80s bush to trimmed, to fully smooth. Something else to keep in mind, shaving will result in irritation for your lady due to the coarseness of pubic hair and the constant rubbing of underwear over the pubic region. If your lady friend waxes after trimming, it's a brief flash of pain up front in exchange for far less itching later on.
Shaving your balls is actually pretty easy and a triple bladed safety razor like a mach 3 works just fine as long as it's not too worn from previous use. Even the itching is something that goes away pretty quickly if you keep shaving it down occasionally. So don't assume the guys that are telling you it will always itch after shaving are right.
ah, a fellow shaver. Also, OP, don't use the same razor you use for your face. It seems common sense but you never know. And make sure your private parts shaver is changed more often than your face shaver (it's very important to have a sharp razor and glide over the parts, letting the razor do the work).
OP, once you get pro, you'll be able to even get that unsightly hair between your balls and your rectum. There's nothing more awkward than a beard growing between your private parts.
Posts
If it was the first time for her, things will be different in a few days. Meanwhile, natural lube is the best lube; excitement, mouths and fingers, or even a few pre-intercourse orgasms should serve just fine, and loosen up things considerably.
If dryness is still an issue, sure storebought can help- my current water based fave is Maximus, it stays slick over the long haul and doesn't get rubbery or tacky. Astroglide is alright, but gets kinda stringy on round two.
I'm glad it went well, though I wasn't expecting you to go all the way
Yeah, tightness is normal. Use a finger to start and when she becomes more comfortable, two fingers (though if your fingers are large, one should be good). When she becomes comfortable with that, then you should try intercourse again. This might take a while but it'll be worth it in the end for both of you
And don't forget, foreplay is your friend
To quote Superbad, "These girls are 18 years old. They aren't dried up old ladies, man. They're good to go!"
To the poster who apparently has run into a lot of girls who don't like talking. Were you checking with them constantly while actually doing stuff or doing what the OP did and going out to a nice dinner and discussing boundaries and likes/dislikes? The first would annoy the crap out of me as well, but I don't think I have had a relationship since about 9th grade without the second.
Back to the OP:
Yes, lube is good but it may also just take time. I know most women apparently start enjoying sex/not feeling any pain pretty quickly but it took a month or two for me. Don't give up even if it doesn't feel wonderful after 2 or 3 times.
Secret Satan
Lube is what really made things work for the wife and I...but not just any lube (not all lubes are created equally). We settled on KY Jelly and I doubt we're ever going back...
...But not the sensitive stuff. We tried that, and it makes her uncomfortable after a while...which is what we figured it was meant to alleve...but whatever.
It doesn't get sticky, doesn't take much, doesn't smell or taste, feels very nice and natural (not greasy like some KY label stuff).
Natural lube is great, but if you're fooling around and stuff, even if she's got no issues with personal lubricant and the amounts, it will still soak in to your fingers or dry out at some point. I've found a little Pjur makes the whole thing nicer start to finish.
I'm looking to take this to the next step, though... I really want to do anal. Now, last time I tried to put it in there and she didn't respond too well, but I guess I should just try again and hopefully she'll get used to it? Any tips?
1) Condoms feel very constrictive... is this something I will just get used to? It's a little painful when I first put it on and roll it down.
2) After some discussion we both decided to shave our pubic hair... any tips on how to do this? I'm deathly afraid of putting a razor down there, and I'm not exactly sure how I would go about shaving my balls anyway.
That's all I can think of now... thanks!
It says for women but the tips are probably useful for guys too
http://hairremoval.about.com/od/shaving/ht/shaving-pubic.htm
For sure if you dont use a lotion like baby oil or something, that area is gonna get really itchy and red so watch out for that
Getting some nail scissors and go out at is the easiest way to get it under control. If you need to get it shorter then use a razor to get it smooth. Its near impossible to use a razor when its a jungle at the start though. A warning about shaving; it will itch like hell when you do it. It goes away if you keep it short but if you let it grow back it prickles and itches and is annoying.
Condom wise, try getting a bigger size. Size isn't really determined by length but by girth. But make sure you do get a bigger size. I was in a commited relationship and hadn't used them since I was 19 but when I got out of it I couldn't get off since it was too tight.
Don't be afraid to try Magnums or XL condoms - they're not designed for John Holmes, just for guys who are a little bigger than average in one dimension or another. Also, Condomania is a fantastic resource - they have a huge selection if you're interested in buying online, and they provide detailed measurement information for the vast majority of brands and styles, which is useful for knowing what to buy locally too.
Keep the skin taut, and never shave directly against the grain. Guys really can just get away with shaving up top and trimming down below, there's very little appreciable difference between totally shaved balls and closely trimmed ones - and any difference that does exist disappears within two days, anyway. For women, shaving can be a huge pain in the ass, so good luck to her. Also, since she's still living with her parents, I'd recommend leaving the front patch furred, and just skinning the hide from the lips themselves - mothers do walk in unannounced on their daughters at inopportune moments (like for instance while towelling off after a shower), and nothing says awkward like trying to answer questions like "You shaved your vagina? Who else is looking at it, and why do they want you to look like a 12 year old girl?"
I don't think too many men wax their balls.
Just pull the skin taut and you should be good for as much of that area as you care to shave. Shavings balls is kind of a bitch for time but I've never cut myself.
Do it in the shower with hot water running on you, too.
I think they are polyurethane, and are about 2 bucks more than the normal ones, and come with 2 less, so only 10, but it is worth it.
but they're listening to every word I say
Shaving with a razor isn't that bad once the hair is short enough and you move in the correct directions. In fact, you will cut yourself less often with a razor than a trimmer once you get down to the skin. Also, if you want to shave your balls, the only way to go is razor. If you gently glide it and use the correct motion, there's really very little chance of harm.
The more you do it, the easier it becomes. As for the condoms, just try another brand. Lifestyles SKIN is my current favorite. But if the condom isn't tight when you put it on, you're not going to feel as much so...your call.
http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Norelco-BG2030-Professional-BodyGrooming/dp/B001E0C9LI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1297096400&sr=8-2
Worked pretty well for me back in the days when I was still on the dating market and shaving my back and other places of interest. The progressive heads will come in handy.
Also, you should both shave each other's stuff, since it will be easier for the other person to see and work around the goods. Don't shave it all to start, but rather get progressively shorter with time. Like go from 80s bush to trimmed, to fully smooth. Something else to keep in mind, shaving will result in irritation for your lady due to the coarseness of pubic hair and the constant rubbing of underwear over the pubic region. If your lady friend waxes after trimming, it's a brief flash of pain up front in exchange for far less itching later on.
ah, a fellow shaver. Also, OP, don't use the same razor you use for your face. It seems common sense but you never know. And make sure your private parts shaver is changed more often than your face shaver (it's very important to have a sharp razor and glide over the parts, letting the razor do the work).
OP, once you get pro, you'll be able to even get that unsightly hair between your balls and your rectum. There's nothing more awkward than a beard growing between your private parts.