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The Australia and New Zealand Penny Arcade Xcursion TM - BrissyPAX 4/6/11
Posts
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Satans..... hints.....
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
First off, we won. We won 1-0 over a team that beat us 2-0 in the first game of the season. Today's scoreline was perhaps more representative of the relative skill levels; we're a slightly better team, so a 1-0 win is probably representative of the relative difference in abilities. Where they beat us last time was in substitutions: they had a 6 player bench the first week and we had none; they just ran us around until we got tired. Today, the squads were even, so I felt pretty justified in getting the win.
Highlight was also fucking layering a dude (or is it now just called enforced planking?). Smarmy little fat kid was getting on my nerves; I had been slid tackled from behind (uncalled foul), he had shepherded the ball carrier (uncalled foul) and the final straw was when he came from deep offside from a punt and went to play the ball (blatant intentional foul). I told him "You shouldn't have oughta played that" and little smarmy fat kid's response was "Hey, I play the whistle".
Right.
About 5 minutes later, a loose ball was chipped towards him. It came over his shoulder, and he had to turn to chase it. It was closer to him than me - 4 steps to turn and chase for him, 6 for me, but I'm a former sprinter and even though I've slowed up a bit from 15 years ago, 6 paces is more than enough for me to build up critical momentum of mass.
At that point, it becomes physics. F=MA, and I'm bigger, faster and meaner putting all the math on my side of the the equation. I get to the ball with a pace to spare - little fat kid needs to work on his agility, because not only was he slow turning, he now can't get out of the way in time as I run through. Enough time for me to shift my weight so I'm not going to be taken out.
A collective shout goes up from their team as I flatten the smarmy fat kid, running over him like Jonah went through Mike Catt in the '95 cup semi. He's screaming for the foul, but unlike all of his bullshit fouls, this was clean contact. It was a contested ball; both of us were running in opposite directions with full view of each other; and, unlike tiddlywinks, football is a contact sport. The only thing wrong with that was the fact that he lost - not only the collision, but getting to the ball first, which would have made it a foul. As the ref waves for him to stop the histrionics and man the fuck up, I step over his planked body and comment over my shoulder:
"Hey man, I heard we were playing to the whistle".
You drive your own tank.
Satans..... hints.....
Satans..... hints.....
I don't. If you play clean, I'll play clean. Everyone loves a clean game. I revel in a clean game. It's just I am also intensely physical, I can dominate an area and I know how to play the role of enforcer. But until you take the game to that level, I'll be doing my one-two thing, playmaking and looking for those cut passes.
I think this lulls people into a false sense of security. Like, it doesn't look like I can do both. So they think they can get away with bullshit infringements and little niggly play. I'll even give them a couple chances. The whole game, I have this little counter in my head, counting up your sins. I'll even give you the chance to confess them and beg forgiveness. So few seem to take it.
A lot of people try to start something to get over me. More often than not, however, I'm the one who ends it.
I usually play middle blocker, but only because I'm a strong middle blocker on the team, not because it is my best position.
So when I do get to play outside hitter (front left attack), I revel in it because it's the position I've played for years, I get massive hits playing out there, and I know where to put the ball for a kill.
The hilarious thing is that good outside hitters know how to make something from nothing, so if we have a shitty set or the block is all over us, we know how to at least make it a hit that the other team has to work for; it's not a free gift. This means that ideally, sometimes we tip, especially if the block is on us. We drop the ball very short to the side or behind the block and that can usually net plenty of points, particularly in my case because no one ever expects me to tip... even on tight contested balls above the net, I am able to wail on it and grab a kill.
But if I know I'm going to get blocked, intellectually I should pull back and tip around it... but I don't. Somewhere in my sports-brain I decide, "fuck this, I'll just smash it as hard as I can because there ain't no block that can stop this" and swing away.
Most of the time, it works... the ball gets touched by the blockers, even slowed down, but sometimes it's packing so much heat that it's over on their side of the court anyway. Every so often though I get totally roofed.
And I never learn. I wonder why that is.
I turned up in my work clothes and it was remarked several times that I looked like an NBA game coach.
Anyway, the story here is basically this: my girls won 3-0 with the second set score looking something like 25-14, and it was easily the best game they've ever played.
This is on the back of a 3-1 win the previous match where they lost the 2nd set because they are basically a bunch of young catty girls and I told them off for it. Last night there was no sign of any of that crap and I was extremely pleased.
The cupcakes themselves are perfect, the icing has a slightly rough texture though because I used caster instead of icing sugar, but the flavour balance is fine. I made two batches of brownies and mixed all the batter in the bowl at once. The first batch I poured a little too much batter into the dish, the second I added an extra spoonful of flour to make them a bit "cakier". So there's one plate of normal, textbook brownies, and one plate of rich fudgey monsters that would kill a man as soon as look at him.
Pies go into the oven around 4pm.
It's always been my thing on the rugby to play hard and rough, but when I'm off the field I'm really not a violent person at all. It always thought it was pretty stupid when people would want to carry on an altercation after the game. Rugby is an incredibly physical game and being able to physically imtimidate your opponent is part of the game. If you can't make the separation between them, you're a bit of a dickhead in my book
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
There is something satisying about avoiding every swing of some big guy's fist, just because his lumbering arse is too slow to catch you properly.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Who wants to shake hands to test my theory?
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
hockey rules.
We're on skates.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
I'm not very good at this am I?
EDIT: Maybe I should pick up sport again. Hmm, I could finally get back in to rock-climbing? Or maybe something else.
what are my asian kung-fu skills going to use for eh that's what i want to know
In other news
It ended quickly when I smashed a coke can into his face.
Now we are bros.
2DS/3DS Friend code 0361-7385-2366
Twitter: @PoeticGecko
lost a tooth, got the side of my mouth split open, made an asshole fall over and people laughed at him
it's a mixed bag
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
who do i complain to?
fell right into it and busted my face open
Hit you in the throat with a skate.
Satans..... hints.....
Yeah man, I got reach.
All over.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
There was as you can imagine a large amount to talk about.
Satans..... hints.....
what about flexibility
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I am assuming that Vivienne is enjoying them as much as I.
Satans..... hints.....
Yeah man I got flexibility.
All kinds.
Challenge accepted.
I'm already doing this! We can compare lengths