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Assimilating into the high school environment
QuarterMaster
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Registered User regular
How do I do it? Or at least temporarily. I've been home schooled all my life (except for a brief stint in 1st grade) and have never been exposed to the jungle of classes and people that is high school. The reason I'm joining is because, frankly, home schooling is boring. To "spice up" my life. I'm a Sophomore this year, and will attempt to join our local Running Start program for my Junior year, but I wanted to try out H.S. for at least a little bit to see what I'm missing and whether or not it's something I would like to continue part-time. If I decide to go, I'll be starting up this Monday with a couple of classes that piqued my interest.
Naturally, I'm extremely nervous. Like I said above, the most kids I've been exposed to at one time is maybe in the low 30's. And never a large group of peers. Also, being male, getting used to having several hundred mini-skirted girls of my age walking around will take some time. I do know one person who attends my local school, but probably won't see him, so that's not much help.
Anyhoo, I'm just wondering if there is any advice out there on how to successfully adapt to the high school environment without going nuts on my first day.
tl;dr I'm officially in my Sophomore year of H.S., but have been home schooled all my life. How do I adapt to American H.S.?
Thanks a lot for any help.
Naturally, I'm extremely nervous. Like I said above, the most kids I've been exposed to at one time is maybe in the low 30's. And never a large group of peers. Also, being male, getting used to having several hundred mini-skirted girls of my age walking around will take some time. I do know one person who attends my local school, but probably won't see him, so that's not much help.
Anyhoo, I'm just wondering if there is any advice out there on how to successfully adapt to the high school environment without going nuts on my first day.
tl;dr I'm officially in my Sophomore year of H.S., but have been home schooled all my life. How do I adapt to American H.S.?
Thanks a lot for any help.
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But seriously, there's not much to it. You won't start out with many friends, so it's best to just keep to yourself. You should pass through it fairly uneventfully.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
Just for future reference, preferably not anything to do with these two things.
I was home schooled since 4th grade to 12th grade (So basically 7 or 8 years without any large-scale human contact), then I attended a community college for the first time last year. It was basically my first experience at real life and I adjusted fine despite knowing no one at the time. Most people there are totally chill and really great people, just don't act like a douchebag and relax. I made plenty of friends first semester there and now have a decent contact list of friends and work as a tutor there helping people.
As I said, I can't really help you a whole at the high-school level, but if you find it doesn't work out, then if you can, depending on your state and school system, try attending a local community college or something. You'll learn a lot more and be exposed to a lot better people (imo) but I can understand wanting to try high-school.
If I wasn't so lazy I'd lime this so hard. A lot of people really don't mind you talking to them, in some cases they're probably just as bored and looking to meet new people too.
Second, don't be confused if the high school social cliques seem like a festering fit of backbiting and sociopathic behavior. Ever see Mean Girls? High school is really like that. So if you go to school one day and it's all cool, and the next day you can't figure out why everyone hates you and vice-versa, don't take it personally, that's just what happens when you put a thousand teenagers in a building and tell them that they're not allowed to fuck each other senseless. Hormones will fuck you up.
Third, don't make enemies without a good reason. You have to put up with these people for at least a few years, so it's better to just bite your tongue and ignore people than it is to develop a hate/hate relationship.
I'm usually pretty good at meeting people once I've gotten past the initial first-contact shyness, so hopefully it'll help make a few connections. I've also emailed my friend asking what lunch he has, so maybe we can meet up at some point during the day and get me at least a little oriented.
Also, is it true that I will automatically have an affinity for coffee when I start high school?
I hadn't touched coffee before I started my CC, even after trying it a few times I still despise it. Its really more an acquired taste that you'll like after trying it for a few years I suppose, but there are far more preferable ways to obtain caffeine (hurray for tea), if needed at all. Caffeine is rarely required and terrible in the long run. I can usually pull an allnighter if need be without caffeine but being in HS, I imagine you'd rarely have to stay up really late to finish anything anyways.
Something I forgot to mention is that I'm only going to be taking two courses as of now (Graphic Design and Web Publishing), and possibly joining a couple of clubs. So homework should be minimal. 8)
Some people feed on the misery of others. But in the end its how you handle yourself that matters.
This is just how to handle the dicks. Cause you know, there tend to be some of those in high school.
Home schooled kids are actually more socially adept.
Anyway, just treat it like you would going to any other public place. High school isn't a special place. That only applies to middle school, oh dear god is that horrible.
:?
I really wouldn't say that. I briefly went to a school that was literally for home schoolers, before going to my CC, that had a very small population...
While there were a "few" people who knew their way around socially, most guys, and I'm really singling out guys here, were terrible socially. But it didn't matter in that circumstance, because since everybody was homeschooled nobody has pre-set standards and stuff.
most of all, most of all
someone said true love was dead
but i'm bound to fall
bound to fall for you
oh what can i do
Talk to your friend about it and eat lunch and shit with him for a while. I changed schools 3 times in 5 years and by the second i learnt just not to try, dont go round actively trying to start conversation with people, eventually you will get to know people in your class and you just take it from there.
I dont know if you do it, but when i started smoking at my third school i was hanging around with the smokers on the very first day, not a good thing may i add, but if you smoke give it a shot.
I went to public school all my life. I'm socially awkward and shy.
All 3 of my brothers have been homeschooled. The longer in homeschool, the more social.
Look... wait, no. People are too stuck in their stereotypes. Wait, I guess I can try
1) Homeschooled kids, despite the name, do not spend all day at home.
2) Homeschooled kids do have friends and go out to places. GASP
3) Socially closed off homeschooled kids are probably at or less than the ratio of socially closed off public schooled kids. School is not a place to learn to socialize, in fact it's the worst place to learn how to socialize. You only get to see people for 9 months and then most likely never again. You only see them inside a building. You can only talk to them directly for about a half hour a day, otherwise you're in class learning. Kids learn to socialize by adopting neighborhood friends, going to local events/parks/Boys&GirlsClubs, whatever.
4) Yes of course you have the crazy parents that lock their kids inside all day and everything outside is evil blah blah blah, those are an extreme minority but the most visible and news-worthy minority.
2 of my brothers made the transition from homeschool to high school just fine. The OP shouldn't worry about it too much.
Go to a school dance and just kinda "hang out"
Find a girl and start dancing with her
I found that gr 9 girls (at least when I was in gr 9) were clingy at dances, and sort of thought of it as the first step to becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. So from there it's likely they'll introduce you to any friends they have with them.
Just try and pickup as many AIMs/MSNs/whatever (Even at dances, if you end up dancing with a girl for quite a while just whisper "Got an AIM?" and hope to hell you remember it) is popular in your area, and make up an excuse to start talking. I generally wouldn't ask for them, because asking someone whos just in your class and you dont really know that well can be awkward, but if you see them write it down for someone else.
(A decent example of an excuse is) "I'm in your english class, and just wanted to ask, do we have any homework?"
Or you can just talk to people that sit around you in your classes, and they'll likely catch the same stupid crap the teachers do and generate a feeling of "remember that time when...?" which is always a good start.
(Through that method back in gr 9 I gained friends that never even realised I used that to get to them. And those are mostly my closest friends now.)
Otherwise, just don't be annoying. It really doesn't matter what you do, as long as you don't annoy people.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
You can replace 'smokers' with 'band geeks' or 'orchestra people' or 'stage crew' or virtually any "minority" group in the school. If you have a particular interest, the clubs are often the best way to meet people who share some of your interests. Also, the 'popular' crowd is often the most vicious and back-stabbing group, so don't bust your nuts trying to get into it. Just find a bunch of people who like some of the same stuff you do.
This is written from the perspective of somebody who was not at all popular in highschool and didn't figure out how to relax until he was almost done. I joined the school play and the orchestra and met some neat people. It was about that time that I realised that highschool was not the be-all and end-all of life and that things could only get better.
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Except band geeks, orchestra, etc tend to stick together, and have a hard time moving up the hierarchy. If you're interested in that stuff, go ahead, but they aren't stepping stones. Drama, well, that's different at times.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
In reality, just be friendly. Start up conversations, don't act weird and just be yourself. You will do fine.
That is a good point. I was in orchestra from fairly early on, so that's probably not the best idea. Drama tends to be a lot more inclusive, though you have to have a fair amount of self-confidence to make it there.
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I'm sorry but where did you go to high school. I clearly recall socializing with friends for way more than half an hour a day.
Also not to disprove your points, but high school can still be an area to meet and socialize with people.
If you have no success talking with somebody, chances are you have only been tryin to hang with assholes. You shouldn't have to overtly try to meet with people in high school, but at the same time don't try to avoid them either. If you know how to socialize like a human being, and can sniff out the HS bull you'll be fine.
Those people are liars. It might be awesome, it might suck, but either way, in the long run, none of those people, except for a few close friends (and even then, maybe not) will matter to you in 5 years or so. If it gets tough, just buckle down, finish it out, and move on to greener pastures.
Also, avoid getting too sucked into the whole sex/drugs/rock'n'roll thing. It's much more fun once you're out of high school, and will fuck up your life less.
Now, not every teenager is exactly the same, but High School tends to come around at a point in life where a lot of people think "Oh God, everyone is looking at me." More often than not, this isn't the case.
But yeah, Weaver's advice is remarkably well put. Don't let the garbage of High School ruin anything for you. Life does not end after High School.
Essentially, you need to be friendly, outgoing, and if you can, throw some humor into your interactions. That goes a long way toward people enjoying your company.
Having said that, "assimilating into the high school environment" is not exactly something any reasonable or intelligent human being should want to do because the entire high school social structure is fucking bullshit, rewarding stupidity and crassness whilst punishing intelligence and respect. If you're not glad when high school is over, there's something wrong with you.
Social anxiety and such is normal. High school is when you learn how to deal with that, to some degree. It's trial by fire, but in the end it doesn't matter in the slightest when you leave, and has some valuable educational benefits. Both in Algebra and self-confidence. If your school has "high" and "low" tracks, don't wimp out. Often "low" just means "discplinary problems". Discussion classes can be fantastic. I was totally lost in them at first, but after I graduated I was capable of analyzing things and forming my own opinions, all thanks to the anxiety caused by my five classmates who always had an opinion and made me feel clueless by talking a mile a minute about stuff I was still confused about (even though ultimately they were often the clueless ones).
Or maybe your high school just blew?
Anyway, the important things to remember are A) Talk to people, and
Learning at home and being seriously engaged in it is great but that's not what it's like in high school in my experience. Public education is a joke in a lot of places and the students who really want to get something done just breeze through it and get good grades so they can go to college and actually learn some stuff.
In any case, what works best for me is not consciously trying to assimilate or anything. If you're a sociable person, go ahead and walk up to people and talk with them, or if you're more introverted, don't sweat it if you don't talk to a ton of people at first. Unless you're actively avoiding people, you'll end up joining conversations every once in a while, and getting to know people, and pretty soon you'll have a few friends and you can go ehad and meet people through them. Joining a club or two is a great idea, since that's an instant introduction to everyone, and gets you talking and making friends really fast.
The Office Space advice is great; I'd say. I'm antisocial and generally don't like to or want to make tons of friends, but if you're laid back and willing to be engaged, nothing bad's gonna happen.
And for the first few days, just observe a little. Learn whats accepted and waht isnt, whats funny and whats annoying. Theres really nothing more annoying than being that kid who anseres every question in class and sucks up, even if hes not realizing it.
Just be yourself.
No, do not do this. If you keep to yourself you're just going to be "that homeschooled kid". If you're outgoing right off the bat, you'll make a ton of friends and you'll be set. Keeping to yourself is going to do nothing but make you lonely.
Yeah, I've done this (what Marblehead suggested) before and have definitely regretted it. Initially I can't help but be a pretty shy guy, but after a few days I'm usually a lot more relaxed and outgoing. Especially once I know a couple of people.
Hopefully the friend I mentioned and I will be able to meet up for one of the lunch periods, and maybe even join a couple clubs together, which would help a ton to get me past the first bump. *Crosses fingers*