I Tried to be a Serious [FILM] Thread

Fatboy Roberts

Once upon a time, America was a place where we made things. Physical things. Things wrought from iron and steel, widgets and plastic gewgaws and doodads that our parents, and our parents parents, would trudge into factories to create. They got a good wage, and a sense of satisfaction from this physical, sweaty, greasy work, and thanks to that work, we were fed, and we were clothed, and we were left at home with a big fucking television with which to watch the only product America seems to be great at making anymore: Pop-Culture, in general.

Films, in specific.

But this is not merely a thread about American movies, for there are directors like Jean Luc Godard and Jean Pierre Jeunet, Lucio Fulci & Federico Fellini, Edgar Wright & Joe Cornish, whose works deserve just as much thought and appreciation as directors like Steven Spielberg & Francis Ford Coppola, or Martin Scorsese & Christopher Nolan. Sometimes these titans of cinema get in fights with each other like any co-worker or peer will. For example:

- Ingmar Berman on Orson Welles:
“For me he’s just a hoax. It’s empty. It’s not interesting. It’s dead. Citizen Kane, which I have a copy of — is all the critics’ darling, always at the top of every poll taken, but I think it’s a total bore. Above all, the performances are worthless. The amount of respect that movie’s got is absolutely unbelievable.”

- Spike Lee on Tyler Perry:
“We got a black president, and we going back to Mantan Moreland and Sleep ‘n’ Eat?”

- Tyler Perry on Spike Lee:
“Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that… Spike needs to shut the hell up!”

- Jacques Rivette on James Cameron:
“Cameron isn’t evil, he’s not an asshole like Spielberg. He wants to be the new De Mille. Unfortunately, he can’t direct his way out of a paper bag."

- Kevin Smith on Paul Thomas Anderson (specifically, Magnolia):
“I’ll never watch it again, but I will keep it. I’ll keep it right on my desk, as a constant reminder that a bloated sense of self-importance is the most unattractive quality in a person or their work.”

- David Gordon Green on Kevin Smith:
“He kind of created a Special Olympics for film. They just kind of lowered the standard. I’m sure their parents are proud; it’s just nothing I care to buy a ticket for.”

- David Cronenberg on M. Night Shymalan:
“I HATE that guy! Next question.”

We can discuss that, because it's fun to realize that even though they commandeer giant productions, even though they are field generals who spend large chunks of their lives under enormous pressure spending millions of other people's money, often they're still maladjusted nerds who haven't really gotten over a high-school mentality. Like a lot of us.

This isn't just thread about summer blockbusters, either - although it can be that, too. There's no need to chain the topic of discussion to limited release indie films, things Steven Soderbergh has dreamed about, or a $2 documentary about Giraffe Farts that you saw on Netflix last night that really spoke to the essence of the human condition. Those things are worthy of discussion, yes, but sometimes you want to smash "The Matrix" up against "Inception" like a 6 year old in a sandbox, playing with tonka trucks. Sometimes, some of the most insightful discussion about filmmakers can come from the most surprising sources - like for example, Michael Bay:

In Which We Glimpse Our Hero in His Youth

Michael Benjamin Bay grew up in a middle-class household in Southern California, the adopted son of Jim and Harriet Bay. In school, he had trouble focusing—what would probably now be diagnosed as ADD—but showed an early talent for physics, photography, the making of things.

Bay: I grew up in the Valley. My dad was an accountant, my mom was a therapist for kids.

Brad Fuller (partner, Platinum Dunes, Bay's film company): I met him at Hebrew school, but I think he denies that.

Bay: I was a shy kid, but I was very good at baseball for my age. I won MVP many times. I was like a quiet jock. I also did theater. I did The Pirates of Penzance. I had to memorize an hour and a half operetta.

Harriet Bay (mother): He was the lead, singing Frederic. I never laughed so hard in my life.

Bay: I was into these very advanced trains sets, with towns and cities and whatever, the detail of it. I remember my parents came to me: "Michael, we think you need to get outside more." And I'm thinking, "Am I fucked up?"

Harriet Bay: Some people these days call energy like that ADD-kind of energy.

K. C. Hodenfield (first assistant director, various Bay films): I had started a softball team at Lucasfilm, and there was this whiny teenage kid who would come around with the president of the company's son, wanting to play in the games. So I gotta get this kid some playing time. Ends up it was Michael Bay.

Ian Bryce (producer, various Bay films): In 1980 I was parking cars at Lucasfilm, and Michael was a summer intern; he was filing Raiders of the Lost Ark storyboards in the photo department.

Bay: I was 15. The first thing I ever said to Steven [Spielberg] was, "I really thought Raiders of the Lost Ark was going to suck."

Read More http://www.gq.com/entertainment/movies-and-tv/201107/michael-bay-oral-history#ixzz1UqvbfdlB

George Romero. Ghostbusters. The Coen Brothers. John Williams. Welcome to Earf. I hid under your porch because I love you. Superman. Swear to Me! Don't say the Zed Word. The Maltese Falcon. Tears in rain. I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is The Cup Test. PC Load Letter? What the fuck does THAT mean? The Horror...the Horror. Die Hard. Predator. Wallace and Gromit. Peter Lorre. Danny Trejo. Gandalf. Magneto. TETSUOOOOOO! Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I'm getting too old for this shit. Tell your sister you were right.

It's our time down here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSEYXWmEse8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1-oquwoL8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_0g3tEcM0w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wRkzCW5qI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GroDErHIM_0

This is the film thread.

shryke

Technically, I believe this is actually the film thread: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/146740/the-legend-of-the-the-film-thread-chronicles-rise-of-the-film-thread/p1

Mikey CTS

Love the OP, though.

Variable

I don't know, this OP gave me chills

Fatboy Roberts

fuck, I saw that Jacob had closed the other one, went to work, came back, did a quick 2-page search, didn't see the new film thread (musta passed it over, damn) and banged this one out.

Sorry guys. I almost never try to start threads - shoulda known I'd fuck it up somehow

Linespider5

I like this OP better.

TexiKen

Which film thread will be The Asylum version?

Atomika

I vote for this OP.



OP/Perry 2012.

shryke

Atomic Ross wrote:

I vote for this OP.



OP/Perry 2012.

Voting? Bah, that's the pussy way to solve this.

I say Fatboy Roberts and wandering fight to the death.

TehSpectre

I will christen my choice of film thread with this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cxoTHN2z-Q&feature=player_embedded


Screw the haters, Silent Hill was good.

I hope Silent Hill 2 can fix the problems of the first and transcend all the hate.

Variable

a serious man is also incredible and deserves claim over an entire 100 pages of film discussion

Fatboy Roberts

I thought, before it came out, that if any movie had a shot at being a legitimately good Video Game adaptation, it was Silent Hill. And by default, it's probably the best - but I don't think it was all that good. The atmospherics were perfect, but that last half-hour just sucked all the air out of the theater with a whole buncha really shitty decisions, the worst of which was probably the cutscene/info dump right before the climax.

TehSpectre

To be fair, that was addressed by the director (They ran out of money and had to wing it) and he wishes it went differently.

P10

Variable wrote:

a serious man is also incredible and deserves claim over an entire 100 pages of film discussion

Look at the parking lot

Fatboy Roberts

TehSpectre wrote:

To be fair, that was addressed by the director (They ran out of money and had to wing it) and he wishes it went differently.

Is Gans coming back for the sequel? I really liked Brotherhood of the Wolf.

Sweeney Tom

I just got back from the new Final Destination movie. Best one of the series.

Fatboy Roberts

I've been hearing this, and it surprises me, because I'd long ago assumed that the 2nd was going to be the pinnacle of this particular film series, and the producers would never again get back to that perfect blend of Looney-Tunes ridiculousness and perfectly paced ultraviolence.

Sweeney Tom

Fatboy Roberts wrote:

I've been hearing this, and it surprises me, because I'd long ago assumed that the 2nd was going to be the pinnacle of this particular film series, and the producers would never again get back to that perfect blend of Looney-Tunes ridiculousness and perfectly paced ultraviolence.

The opening is honestly just as good, if not a little better than the one in the 2nd film.

Normally I think 3D is a tacky gimmick, and I especially thought this when I heard they were gonna do this one in 3D, because the last one was 3D as well. But the 3D in this one was perfect and well-used. Granted, the opening credits are annoying and cheesy, but that was the worst use of 3D in the entire movie.

And I don't say this about very many films, but this was one movie where, when it ended, I was surprised, as in, "WHAT? IT'S BEEN 95 MINUTES ALREADY?!" Normally movies drag through the running time. But here, aside from the opening credits and

the cheerleader scene,

there wasn't a single scene that dragged or ran too long. It was that well-done, and I was honestly surprised and impressed with how good it was overall.

And if you want ultraviolence and ridiculousness, this has it in spades. The bridge scene proves that.

JustinSane07

That 40 speeches in 2 minutes video is god damn great.

JustinSane07

The 100 insults was pretty good too.

Chanus

That whole OP is a masterpiece.

wandering

Whoa, this OP is way better than the other guy's.

Echo

Heh, Nicholas Cage breaking down. :^:

Fatboy Roberts

Okay, here's a question for the Film Thread denizens:

The Wife already subscribes to Netflix Instant. 7.99 a month, we use it pretty liberally.

I am considering subscribing to Hulu Plus for another 7.99 a month, to complement the Netflix subscription.

I know there is a fair amount of overlap between the two when it comes to television shows. It seems that Netflix has the deeper bench when it comes to programming and movies - but Hulu Plus has a LOT more recent television programming, kept up-to-date much faster, AND they have access to the Criterion Collection library, plus pretty much every Universal and Fox movie I'd want to get my hands on that I don't already own on DVD (Star Wars/Alien Trilogy/Back To The Future)

Basically, if I do this, I'll be doing it to stay up to date on Comedy Central/Fox/NBC shows, but primarily for the access to the Fox/Universal film libraries, and ESPECIALLY the Criterion stuff

Is this a good call?

Chanus

I think Comedy Central, Fox, and NBC run their shows on their own websites for free, at least while they're on the current season... so I think it would only be worth it to go back and watch previous seasons you've missed.

Fatboy Roberts

I should add - I would primarily be using the service through the Xbox, and not so much my laptop (although she might use it on her iPad)

Chanus

Well, on the other hand, $8/mo isn't really a significant expense... and if it is, you should probably cancel the Netflix also :P

pyromaniac221

Nicholas Cage is a gem. A genius. A national treasure.

TehSpectre

Got back from Final Destination 5.

It was a return to form and easily as good as the first 3.

The series knows what's up and there are frequent callbacks to the other movies hidden throughout the film, not to mention that tongue-in-cheek tone the movie took on.

Basically, this is a send off for the franchise for anyone who has enjoyed the past films.

and I think it will be the last, if my screening was any indication. (I live in a college town and there were maybe...50 seats sold.)

wirehead26

Well holy shit, the Long Ranger is cancelled.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/50798

This story might get very interesting.

Fatboy Roberts

Maybe some market research came back that let Disney know nobody gives a shit about The Lone Ranger in 2011.

AngelHedgie

Fatboy Roberts wrote:

Maybe some market research came back that let Disney know nobody gives a shit about The Lone Ranger in 2011.

It seems that it's more that The Lone Ranger is overly Amerocentric to make a good tentpole.

Variable

hulu is worth it for the criterion imo (can you access special features at all?) and I like the dearth of tv on netflix, old and new.

I'm thinking about not getting dvds from netflix and doing exactly this, I tend to watch more things on streaming than actual media anyway.

Linespider5

I'd completely forgotten there ever was a modern Lone Ranger movie being made, so I went to learn on it. I vaguely (maybe made up in my own head) recalled something with Johnny Depp as Tonto and Owen Wilson as the Ranger, but I couldn't find anything about the latter being true. What I found instead was the guy who played the Winklevoss twins was cast as the Lone Ranger.

Who knows, maybe he nailed it.

I don't really buy the 'Amerocentric' concerns. At this point I think that large parts of Europe and Russia may actually have a more romantic outlook on the Wild West than America itself does. Me, I know most of the basis of the Lone Ranger from Far Side comic strips and little else. I doubt if there was enough meat on the project to justify the pricetag, particularly with a lesser-known lead actor involved. Now, if Tron Legacy had been a clear-cut success, and Prince of Persia had performed better, Disney would've rolled right along with it, but I can't help but wonder if they've taken on a few things in the past couple of years that didn't perform entirely as expected for them, and felt this one was a bit light in the boots, so to speak.

Fencingsax

I would like some more of that kind of thing, as in old timey superheroes. I enjoyed the Green Hornet, and I think a Shadow starring a better actor would be pretty cool. Phantom sucks, though.

Alfred J. Kwak

Johnny Depp was in the movie, it couldn't possibly have not made money

even I like that guy

e: the word 'like' is perhaps not strong enough to be fully accurate

Linespider5

I would LOVE to see a proper version of The Shadow onscreen. It might happen in the next ten years.

Variable

speaking of johnny depp, dead man just came out on blu-ray and arrived in the mail yesterday.

big fan of the movie but I haven't watched it in a couple years. probably in the next few nights I'll get to it. jarmusch mmm

TehSpectre

Linespider5 wrote:

I would LOVE to see a proper version of The Shadow onscreen. It might happen in the next ten years.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6816MUx9E0

Love this cheesy ass movie

OSUJumpMan

Fatboy Roberts wrote:

I should add - I would primarily be using the service through the Xbox, and not so much my laptop (although she might use it on her iPad)

If you plan to use to watch current TV shows do some research first. Some shows on Hulu Plus are "web-only" and unwatchable on the Xbox version of the service. I haven't run into this with any of the movies, but a HUGE swath of the television shows won't work on your Xbox anyway. If they are shows that you watch on TV or don't watch at all anyway, then it's worth it. But I'll be cancelling mine before the next sub fee comes up because too many of the shows I want to watch with it are "web-only"

facetious

I enjoyed the Silent Hill film.