Spool: I'm an adult. I mean, on the one hand there isn't really a good reason for me to visit right now. She's asleep, she most likely needs her rest, etc. The whole situation is just very stressful.
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Or get her in some therapy.
I've always wondered if it's like this. I have one friend who just constantly output self-deprecating comments until finally I have to say "I don't know how else to tell you that you're not <insert problem of the week>" and then she just stops.
0
Options
TehSlothHit Or MissI Guess They Never Miss, HuhRegistered Userregular
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Or get her in some therapy.
Whenever we tell her she's not fat/ugly/dumb, she automatically rejects this.
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
Have you tried to approach it from informing her how self sabotaging and damaging her outlook is going to be for herself? Not guarantee that she'll be responsive to it though. You need to try other vectors, is what I'm trying to say.
I used to have really low self esteem, and I have no idea what caused it to change, otherwise I'd try to give you advice. Getting through puberty helped a lot.
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Or get her in some therapy.
I've always wondered if it's like this. I have one friend who just constantly output self-deprecating comments until finally I have to say "I don't know how else to tell you that you're not <insert problem of the week>" and then she just stops.
"Are you trying to say I hang out with losers? You think I'm a loser, don't you. This is your way of saying I'm a loser.".
0
Options
PasserbyeI am much older than you.in Beach CityRegistered Userregular
@RMSOceanic Regarding this post. Ugh, yeah that's a rough situation. Have you told her plainly (the way you did in that post) what you've just told us? Wording can make a big difference sometimes, especially when someone's hearing good things from family. It's too easy sometimes to think 'well, they're family, of course they think well of me so they don't really count'.
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Or get her in some therapy.
Whenever we tell her she's not fat/ugly/dumb, she automatically rejects this.
What happens is she says "I don't believe you." but she's still receiving compliments that she is eliciting. It's almost guaranteed to be attention seeking to do it on that level, not actual venting and worrying.
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
So it is either a sign of depression "I am broken and I can't fix myself because it is too big of a problem." or attention seeking "I am broken, oh thank you for telling me I'm pretty, but I don't believe you." OR a combination of the two.
0
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
Good thing I'm here to post Accurate Facts About Apple.
From my Macbook.
*sips latte*
I just don't get it. I even tried to equivocate and go 'well, to be fair, both sides get pretty stupid sometimes'. And he, with a straight face, goes YEAH BUT THE STUFF I'M SAYING ABOUT THEM IS RIGHT.
me: o_o
0
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
You're very bird like. I would say you move like and resemble a bird, Drez. Did that help?
Angsting about my sister's dogmatically low self esteem here.
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Or get her in some therapy.
Whenever we tell her she's not fat/ugly/dumb, she automatically rejects this.
What happens is she says "I don't believe you." but she's still receiving compliments that she is eliciting. It's almost guaranteed to be attention seeking to do it on that level, not actual venting and worrying.
OK more seriously, try a different tactic:
Rather than denying what she says "No you're not xyz!", try asking her "If you really feel like that, what can we do to help you change? Let's take some positive steps, make a plan right now with three things you can do to stop being xyz. We've got your back however we can."
Turn it into a discussion of how to fix things, rather than a pointless back-and-forth.
I was picturing Sam Rockwell from Iron Man 2 and yes the laser basically powers up for 10 mins then just makes a sputtering noise. Maybe a bead of sweat pops out on your forehead.
I was picturing Sam Rockwell from Iron Man 2 and yes the laser basically powers up for 10 mins then just makes a sputtering noise. Maybe a bead of sweat pops out on your forehead.
Giant package of jiffy pop. Kernels of yellow popcorn bursting like a blister.
Posts
Kids today.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I love that Cure song "Melt With You".
I dunno, man. Is it really low self esteem or is it low self esteem + the boost she gets from you saying nice things in response to them? Maybe if you ignored her saying things like that she'd stop. There'd be a big extinction burst of it though since you've reinforced it for awhile.
Or get her in some therapy.
I've always wondered if it's like this. I have one friend who just constantly output self-deprecating comments until finally I have to say "I don't know how else to tell you that you're not <insert problem of the week>" and then she just stops.
twitch.tv/tehsloth
Whenever we tell her she's not fat/ugly/dumb, she automatically rejects this.
Have you tried to approach it from informing her how self sabotaging and damaging her outlook is going to be for herself? Not guarantee that she'll be responsive to it though. You need to try other vectors, is what I'm trying to say.
I used to have really low self esteem, and I have no idea what caused it to change, otherwise I'd try to give you advice. Getting through puberty helped a lot.
"Are you trying to say I hang out with losers? You think I'm a loser, don't you. This is your way of saying I'm a loser.".
Face Twit Rav Gram
What happens is she says "I don't believe you." but she's still receiving compliments that she is eliciting. It's almost guaranteed to be attention seeking to do it on that level, not actual venting and worrying.
Someone who does it all the time though probably has legitimate self worth issues.
From my Macbook.
*sips latte*
Please delete my thread Jacob.
Microsoft Orbital Laser. Locked. On.
I try not to fish for compliments.
I just accept the fact that I'm not good at anything.
Unless any of you feel otherwise about me...?
Fill in this blank if you feel I am not totally worthless: ______________________________________________________________________________________
It's OK, it uses Bing Maps for targeting.
I just don't get it. I even tried to equivocate and go 'well, to be fair, both sides get pretty stupid sometimes'. And he, with a straight face, goes YEAH BUT THE STUFF I'M SAYING ABOUT THEM IS RIGHT.
me: o_o
OK more seriously, try a different tactic:
Rather than denying what she says "No you're not xyz!", try asking her "If you really feel like that, what can we do to help you change? Let's take some positive steps, make a plan right now with three things you can do to stop being xyz. We've got your back however we can."
Turn it into a discussion of how to fix things, rather than a pointless back-and-forth.
You were so late you might actually be pregnant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqmORiHNtN4
I was like "whoa"
I was picturing Sam Rockwell from Iron Man 2 and yes the laser basically powers up for 10 mins then just makes a sputtering noise. Maybe a bead of sweat pops out on your forehead.
Thank god, I thought I was fat!
Yeeeeup.
Face Twit Rav Gram
Giant package of jiffy pop. Kernels of yellow popcorn bursting like a blister.
Whew.