Comedic Opportunities in Test (Without complaining)
10/11/2011 - Anonymous
Hello! I have been a tester for a little over 10 years now, and I wanted to share some character archetypes with you based on people I’ve met along the way. I have to admit that I was disappointed with your article about test being a hellish thankless job - it’s not like that everywhere you know.
Anyways, on to the archetypes:
- The “bug machine” tester who just put in 26 bugs on the horse animations in the last hour
- The tester who owns every console ever
- The giant vampiric manchild who can’t say good things about anything, except that weird JRPG that nobody has ever heard of and only laughs inappropriately in loud, short bursts *HAHA*
- The pretty girl that all the guys are afraid to talk to until she hosts a brownbag on “How to perform fatalities in MK” (This actually happened)
- The Russian guy who smells like cigarette smoke and violence and says words like “Tester Porn” when he sees debug commands and never calls in favors people owe him - Leaving work at 11:30pm on a Sunday, you get a flat tire. Out of nowhere, Vasily pulls around his 1998 Jeep Cherokee and gives you a spare he just happened to have that fits perfectly and in the thick svelte accent says “Don’t mention it.” You are convinced that one day he’s going to ask you to hide a body, execute a cop or worse… cover his shift.
- The certification tester whose eyes are so dead, they make the Great White Shark look sympathetic
- The girl who learned conversational Japanese from Nintendo Error messages
- The localization tester who everyone calls over to their desk to get them back to English when they get stuck testing in E, F, R, I, G, S
- The MacGuyver tester who hooked up an oscillating fan to the joystick for soak tests *without* using duct tape (I got lots about this guy…)
- The test manager/director that intently listens and then only laughs when asked about publisher negotiations
- Dev QA vs Pub QA - seriously this is all you need for endless fun
- The former Nuclear Sub pilot who wanted a job that was low stress and doesn’t know what everyone whines about when the AC shuts off on Sunday. “YOU SHOULD TRY DOING THIS EVERY DAY FOR 500 DAYS BITCHES WE COULD LAND A BIRD ON THE DECK IN THIS HEAT.”
What the fuck does that even mean?
Cheers and have fun.
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