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YaYa and Zonugal In: The Case Of The Bare Asshole (MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF SHIT! VOTE!)
YaYa
Decent.Registered User regular
Decent.Registered User regular
'How hard is it to pay an electrical bill?' I muttered as Zonugal fumbled at the doorknob.
'I dunno, how hard is it to not be a whiny bitch about the dark?'
Zonugal was always fumbling at things. He insists on driving the Winnebago, but every time I toss him the keys it's like he's deathly afraid of touching molded metal. We'd been locked tight in the office for ten minutes. Not due to any sort of nefarious plot, it was just dark and we have a really weird doorknob. Zonugal bought it. He thinks it's exotic. I think it just looks like a bent dick.
'Got it!' cried Zonugal. I heard him working the knob back and forth. It turns right. It's always turned right. It's very well oiled. But he always makes a show of playing with the doorknob.
'Finally. Now we'll be right on time to totally blow this case.' I shoved him aside, he thunked into the silhouette of a filing cabinet. Or maybe a tall box. There were a lot of rectangular prisms in here. I turned the knob and the door swung open. I headed out into the hall, a little blinded by the sudden rush of light to my eyes.
'Look, you fucked up the bill, so I'm driving tonight. We're going to be late enough as it is and Bootsy's counting on us.' I stormed towards the stairwell, preparing a pithy remark to his inevitable protesting re: Winnebago rights. When nothing came, I turned, eyebrows already positioned in such a way that my face just screamed 'Say something smart-assed so I can crush your soul'. He wasn't there. I blinked. 'I said I'm driving tonight!' I yelled back towards our door. Nothing.
I walked back to the office, now dimly illuminated by the light from the hall. Zonugal wasn't getting ready to protest. He was staring. I stared too.
'Zonugal?' I said.
'Yeah?' he said.
'Why is there a naked dead guy ass-up on our desk?'
welcome, SE++, to the YaYa and @Zonugal mysteries! this is a serialized tale of murder, intrigue and mayhem, starring and narrated by YaYa and Zonugal! we're taking turns writing posts, and even better, we have no idea what's going to happen! nothing's been planned out and nothing's been agreed upon between us! get ready for wild tonal shifts and subtle infighting!
here's where you guys come in. I'm going to give three options for Zonugal and YaYa to take in this story, and you guys get to vote! whichever one reaches five votes first will be the one that's picked.
VOTING RULES
please only vote once
please vote using the agreed upon vote word in each post so we can search
OPTION A: YaYa and Zonugal shift the naked dead guy off the desk and investigate his body for clues
OPTION B: Zonugal and YaYa freak the fuck out and shove the dead guy out the window, hoping someone else will deal with him
OPTION C: Screw the naked dead guy! Bootsy's counting on us, get to the Winnebago! (note: this option will not result in either character literally screwing a naked dead guy)
The vote word for this post is CUCUMBER. To vote for option A, please type OPTION A CUCUMBER or CUCUMBER OPTION A or something along those lines, and please try not to use Cucumber in any other posts
Zonugal will be writing the next installment, so get to voting!
'I dunno, how hard is it to not be a whiny bitch about the dark?'
Zonugal was always fumbling at things. He insists on driving the Winnebago, but every time I toss him the keys it's like he's deathly afraid of touching molded metal. We'd been locked tight in the office for ten minutes. Not due to any sort of nefarious plot, it was just dark and we have a really weird doorknob. Zonugal bought it. He thinks it's exotic. I think it just looks like a bent dick.
'Got it!' cried Zonugal. I heard him working the knob back and forth. It turns right. It's always turned right. It's very well oiled. But he always makes a show of playing with the doorknob.
'Finally. Now we'll be right on time to totally blow this case.' I shoved him aside, he thunked into the silhouette of a filing cabinet. Or maybe a tall box. There were a lot of rectangular prisms in here. I turned the knob and the door swung open. I headed out into the hall, a little blinded by the sudden rush of light to my eyes.
'Look, you fucked up the bill, so I'm driving tonight. We're going to be late enough as it is and Bootsy's counting on us.' I stormed towards the stairwell, preparing a pithy remark to his inevitable protesting re: Winnebago rights. When nothing came, I turned, eyebrows already positioned in such a way that my face just screamed 'Say something smart-assed so I can crush your soul'. He wasn't there. I blinked. 'I said I'm driving tonight!' I yelled back towards our door. Nothing.
I walked back to the office, now dimly illuminated by the light from the hall. Zonugal wasn't getting ready to protest. He was staring. I stared too.
'Zonugal?' I said.
'Yeah?' he said.
'Why is there a naked dead guy ass-up on our desk?'
welcome, SE++, to the YaYa and @Zonugal mysteries! this is a serialized tale of murder, intrigue and mayhem, starring and narrated by YaYa and Zonugal! we're taking turns writing posts, and even better, we have no idea what's going to happen! nothing's been planned out and nothing's been agreed upon between us! get ready for wild tonal shifts and subtle infighting!
here's where you guys come in. I'm going to give three options for Zonugal and YaYa to take in this story, and you guys get to vote! whichever one reaches five votes first will be the one that's picked.
VOTING RULES
please only vote once
please vote using the agreed upon vote word in each post so we can search
OPTION A: YaYa and Zonugal shift the naked dead guy off the desk and investigate his body for clues
OPTION B: Zonugal and YaYa freak the fuck out and shove the dead guy out the window, hoping someone else will deal with him
OPTION C: Screw the naked dead guy! Bootsy's counting on us, get to the Winnebago! (note: this option will not result in either character literally screwing a naked dead guy)
The vote word for this post is CUCUMBER. To vote for option A, please type OPTION A CUCUMBER or CUCUMBER OPTION A or something along those lines, and please try not to use Cucumber in any other posts
Zonugal will be writing the next installment, so get to voting!
YaYa on
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This discussion has been closed.
Posts
cuz that's gross
pussies
Its raining men!
Satans..... hints.....
Full on panic mode.
If this doesn't win then i vote to CUCUMBER OPTION A
nice and slowly
CUCUMBER OPTION C
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Satans..... hints.....
You are going to love my additions to this story.
"Claw out your eyes in horror."
Same difference.
Every day, I am disappointed.
Cucumber it hard. That option won't know what hit it.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
should Zonugal actually describe me, or should this turn into My Little Detective?
So let's go with My Little Detective.
Satans..... hints.....
I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE AND WILL DESCRIBE YOU AS SUCH.
hmm
We also learn Zonugal loves long island ice teas and compliments.
The plot thickens (beyond other things).
also the Tabasco sauce one.
@Zonugal : YaYa and Zonugal shift the naked dead guy off the desk and investigate his body for clues
YaYa, a skinny white male booming with love and a Jewfro all wrapped together in a My Little Pony T-shirt, made his frown even frownier, “What?”
“I black-out a lot, I don’t know what happens when I wake up,” Zonugal mentioned while he threw over the cold, greasy body of the recently deceased. “Get me my examiner’s tools.”
YaYa briskly walked over to the refrigerator and opened the freezer. Past a mountain of frozen fish sticks he pulled out a red box clearly illuminated with the words BOX OF SIN.
“Crickey! Why do you keep this around?” YaYa yelped handing it over to his gorgeous roommate.
“Because I have to, Because of her…” Remarked Zonugal as he quickly put on latex gloves and pool goggles. He opened the deceased mouth only to find a wrapper to a 100-Grand candy bar.
“Puzzling,” added YaYa as his eyes closed in on Zonugal’s hands. Hands that were cupping the recently dead’s nipples. Hands that were now milking the recently dead’s nipples. Collecting enough to pour into a coffee mug we immediately shifted his view to YaYa.
“Oy! I know that look,” said the scarred man-child from down under.
“You have to take a sip. If he’s a criminal you’ll taste it, I know that’s how it works with you people,” spoke Zonugal as he brought the coffee cup ever closer to YaYa’s lips.
Option A: YaYa takes a sip out of the coffee mug and makes his discovery.
Option B: YaYa slaps the coffee mug out of Zonugal's hand, ruining a perfectly good carpet.
Option C: The phone suddenly rings.
This rounds secret qualifier word for voting is Russel.
VOTE!
dear god
Don't you???
The man's facial hair is glorious, that's all.
I like where this is going
Bananaphone