EXCERPT FROM SECRETARY GEITNER'S INTERCEPTED LETTER
Jyrgunkarrd the [censored]
He is our Lord. He is Love. He is the Whole Function.
It is now our obligation to reciprocate the generosity. We must mobilize the total worth of our people. Jyrgunkarrd, Mr. President. Jyrgunkarrd! Our offering must not fail to be a triumph. The species must look to us in awe.
Our Lord! Jyrgunkarrd the [censored]!
I have undone the blasphemy, Mr. President. I have cut out the foul-tongues that speak against our Love. We must not tolerate the filth of diversity. It is for the Whole Function.
EXCERPT FROM PROFESSOR JONATHAN JENNER'S REPORT TO CONGRESS
The very first appearances of the Jyrgunkarrd meme that we have on record come in the form of graffiti throughout city parks in Boston & on rail cars, presumably while they were parked in the same city, in the 1950s. The dormant strain of the meme seems to have spread via these rail cars into New York City, Edmonton, Miami and San Diego. Once in Edmonton, around 1970 it began to be spread internationally via plain white business cards simply marked with 'Jyrgunkarrd'.
Until January of this year, there is simply no record of the trigger meme. We only have speculation as to how it surfaced and began to circulate.
Given the extremely rapid spread of the epidemic and ease of transmission, this panel wholly endorses the proposal of enforced deafness upon the public. It may be the only way to avert a total collapse of society. The meme is still potent when transmitted via written vector, but does not seem to capture hosts in the same manner, so the panel does not endorse the proposal of an attempted eradication of all information exchanges, A strict quarantine of the state offices should suffice.
If the late Dr. Lansk's data linking the meme infection density with the selection of ET-1's targets is correct, controlling the meme might be at least a stop-gap solution until we can find a way to destroy that Goddamn monster.
I like SCP, but to be frank, the guys who run that wiki are total neckbeards. I tried submitting stuff there twice, and both times they invited me to their little IRC channel to 'discuss' it, and tried to drag me into some Internet drama.
I like SCP, but to be frank, the guys who run that wiki are total neckbeards. I tried submitting stuff there twice, and both times they invited me to their little IRC channel to 'discuss' it, and tried to drag me into some Internet drama.
Well, as if we needed an excuse to expand out into space...
"Earth...the fabled home-world. Our histories indicate it was overrun by great beasts shortly after we set out for the stars. Clearly mere allegory for overpopulation and poor resource management from our pre-Space Age selves."
For those of us uninitiated in monster lore, what is SCP?
Steam - Lysus || XBL - Veax || PSN - Lysus || WoW - Lysus (Korgath - US) || Guild Wars - Lysus Yjirkar || Starcraft II - Lysus.781 || League of Legends - Lysus Feel free to add me on whatever network, it's always more fun to play with people than alone
First, I think we'd probably end up murdering all thirty of them. If there is anything the human race has demonstrated, we're pretty good at murdering animals (large monsters I guess are just large animals). Sure, maybe the weapons we have today (which were made to annhilate our fellow humans) would be ineffective, but living in such a culture threatened by monsters. Well, by God, I'm pretty sure the human spirit could rise to murder those guys too.
Second, what do these dudes eat or is it a part of the mutagen? I mean, if there were thirty of the guys that have been showing up over the last fifty years I think the majority of sea life would have been wiped out, which would have killed off a number of human cultures which would impact the ecology, etc.
When is the last time any of you heard about an actual case of something suffering a death through one thousand cuts?
Exactly.
Even assuming the cuts are deep enough to draw blood, opening up enough area for any amount of blood worth considering to leak out is pretty much impossible, especially compared to the usual strategies of destroying an organ or severing a major artery. If you're dealing with an organism with a relatively firm outer surface like scales or a shell, small shots won't gain any purchase and will just bounce off. You might as claim that a legion of guys with switchblades will eventually wear down a tank.
Wait a minute, this all starts in the 1950's? After the USA is at an all time high in patriotic support of the government that just destroyed Hitler and saved Europe and is generally the Arsenal of Democracy?
Well, I'd imagine that we'd assume the monsters were created by Russia to attack American interests at sea? They would deny it, but we'd know better.
World devolves into a global conflict, most of civilization is wiped out. Humanity returns to the darkness inland to avoid such monsters. We become worshiping them.
AGM-65 MAVERICK SERIES MISSILE Number Fired: 723 Damage Inflicted: None Rating: 4/10
Notes:
Let me set the tone of the report by saying that this weapon is about as 'effective' at injuring ET-1 as slapping a wolverine's dick with earbuds is 'effective' at avoiding a mauling from the animal. But it was the only thing employed on the field at the time that did anything to get me hard, so it gets a 4.
The weapon successfully penetrates into ET-1 and explodes, initially causing what looks like some impressive damage. Bits of burning shrapnel fly everywhere, and one of our flygirls - Cpt Julia Baker, God rest her soul - even used one to tear off it's head.
It just grew a new one. Didn't even pretend to be dead for a few seconds.
These didn't cause incredible collateral damage or backfire on us, so they get a 1.
The penetrator would hit the target, then just blew right through it with no visible sign of damage. We tried to organize tanks into firing lines and cut ET-1 up with a real barrage of DU, but everything we tried just amounted to an embarrassing end result.
MASSIVE ORDNANCE PENETRATOR GBU-57A/B Number Dropped: 2 Damage Inflicted: None (Subverted by ET-1) Rating: 0/10
Notes:
First one took out 3rd Platoon, second one took out 23rd Airborne. ET-1 somehow got them to land on us instead of it, probably just for kicks. After these incidents, we barred the use of GPS-guided weapons; didn't need my boys getting killed by our own fucking JDAMs or MOABs.
MARK 118 GENERAL PURPOSE BOMB Number Dropped: 30 Damage Inflicted: None (Subverted by ET-1) Rating: 0/10
Notes:
So here a fucking great idea - let's send a Buff over a fast moving target and try to carpet-bomb it with some old GPBs. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, how about ET-1 vomiting some kind of rubber foam up at the bombs and then flinging them at my boys? That wrong enough for you?
Summary & Additional Notes:
Whomever the chucklefuck is that ignored all of the expert advice and threw together this op anyway: you got a lot of people killed, and you're an embarrassment to the United States military. Half of the things we shot at or tried to shoot at ET-1 aren't even worth listing in this report. Small arms fire, no effect. Laser-guided munitions, the lasers just scatter when they hit the target. Anything that a helicopter might be able to shoot at it, well too fucking bad, because we can't get a gunship into the area when the air is so full of ash (not that you'd want them in there anyway, given what happened to our fixed-wing pilots).
My 'professional' assessment, since apparently now people like myself are the 'professionals' when it comes to fighting threats that we don't understand, is that marines, machines, bullets and explosives were thrown away today in the hopes that they would put on a good show for the cameras. They are not the right tools for this problem, and my superiors warned you that this op would not produce the result you wanted, and you ignored them.
Wait a minute, this all starts in the 1950's? After the USA is at an all time high in patriotic support of the government that just destroyed Hitler and saved Europe and is generally the Arsenal of Democracy?
Well, I'd imagine that we'd assume the monsters were created by Russia to attack American interests at sea? They would deny it, but we'd know better.
World devolves into a global conflict, most of civilization is wiped out. Humanity returns to the darkness inland to avoid such monsters. We become worshiping them.
You see, humans are the real monsters.
Fuck that, Godzilla is the real monster.
Also, keep the awesome OC coming, Ender. Really enjoyable read.
The_Tuninator on
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
Wait a minute, this all starts in the 1950's? After the USA is at an all time high in patriotic support of the government that just destroyed Hitler and saved Europe and is generally the Arsenal of Democracy?
Well, I'd imagine that we'd assume the monsters were created by Russia to attack American interests at sea? They would deny it, but we'd know better.
World devolves into a global conflict, most of civilization is wiped out. Humanity returns to the darkness inland to avoid such monsters. We become worshiping them.
You see, humans are the real monsters.
Fuck that, Godzilla is the real monster.
Also, keep the awesome OC coming, Ender. Really enjoyable read.
Really, I think Godzilla is the horse to back in this race.
Oh, sure, he gets a bee in his bonnet over one thing or another, but generally he just wants to destroy, what, 10% of Tokyo and lumber back into the sea.
That's not too bad, really. Who hasn't destroyed a major city in Japan once or twice? I remember my Theta Sigma days. Good times.
In exchange, he's saved the world more times than most of us can count on our fingers. (Yes, Jim, we know about your extra thumb. It's gross.)
Let's just give him diplomatic recognition as the King of the Monsters and hope this mess sorts itself out.
(Also, my money is on ORION going through if this went down. Got close here. There, with panic set to 11?)
Wait a minute, this all starts in the 1950's? After the USA is at an all time high in patriotic support of the government that just destroyed Hitler and saved Europe and is generally the Arsenal of Democracy?
Well, I'd imagine that we'd assume the monsters were created by Russia to attack American interests at sea? They would deny it, but we'd know better.
World devolves into a global conflict, most of civilization is wiped out. Humanity returns to the darkness inland to avoid such monsters. We become worshiping them.
You see, humans are the real monsters.
Fuck that, Godzilla is the real monster.
Also, keep the awesome OC coming, Ender. Really enjoyable read.
Really, I think Godzilla is the horse to back in this race.
Oh, sure, he gets a bee in his bonnet over one thing or another, but generally he just wants to destroy, what, 10% of Tokyo and lumber back into the sea.
That's not too bad, really. Who hasn't destroyed a major city in Japan once or twice? I remember my Theta Sigma days. Good times.
In exchange, he's saved the world more times than most of us can count on our fingers. (Yes, Jim, we know about your extra thumb. It's gross.)
Let's just give him diplomatic recognition as the King of the Monsters and hope this mess sorts itself out.
(Also, my money is on ORION going through if this went down. Got close here. There, with panic set to 11?)
And really, Godzilla's two or three rampages a decade are the only thing keeping the Japanese construction industry going. If not for him tearing shit down every few years, they'd all be living and working in a dozen interconnected mega-skyscrapers and never have to step outside.
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
Guys, I just want to say that @The Ender needs to write a World War Z style book, only with a Giant Monster instead of zombies.
His work in this thread has been tremendous.
Is he actually writing this stuff or is it stuff he reblogged from the SCP Foundation?
I suspect he's writing it himself. I havent actually gone to the SCP website, but google searching "Jyrgunkarrd" gives 0 results, and if that stuff was on the SCP's page it would pop on google.
So, yeah, I'd like to see more. World War Z except for Giant Monster instead of zombies and "historical documents" instead of Oral History
I'm for the monsters being weird. Like, not only are they huge but they each have some kind of atmospheric or cthuhluish ability to them.
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
Yeah, I'd get bored with giant lizards... I mean if giant monsters were actually the way of life I think I'd want to live in a city with the coolest giant monster. It would be boring to live next to Loch Ness when you could live in a city where a beast with tentacles that were comprised of smaller creatures joined in unison attacked you regularly.
are YOU on the beer list?
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
Also this thread needs to be come the new "non neckbeard administrated" scp....
are YOU on the beer list?
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Element BrianPeanut Butter ShillRegistered Userregular
I haven't read the thread at all, but I can say this, if Tehran were attacked by a monster. The Iranian Government would blame America for inciting the monster.
I'm for the monsters being weird. Like, not only are they huge but they each have some kind of atmospheric or cthuhluish ability to them.
I'm a fan of the traditional Godzilla monsters, myself; giant city-smashing monsters that shoot death rays from their mouth but don't necessarily have any kind of psychological or mental powers. There's something refreshing about how straightforward they are.
That said, the kind of monster Ender portrays is definitely far more chilling.
All major urban centers across all continents have been destroyed. Pockets of humanity crowd into old subway tunnels & pedestrian walkways, find refuge on mountain peaks or form nomadic rural communities, relying on small numbers and mobility to keep themselves safe from Jyrgunkarrd and any meme hosts still wandering the decaying roads. A thick blanket of dark smoke that has settled in the lower atmosphere over the entire planet has caused a permanent state of twilight, and those academics still alive recognize that even if the monster itself doesn't manage to devour every last human on Earth, the planet will not likely remain an inhabitable environment for much longer.
Communication between survivor communities is difficult. A widespread, last gasp campaign to deafen the public was carried-our by most advanced nations before their governments completely collapsed, and it was surprisingly effective. Those who can still hear are considered extremely valuable assets.
Today is notable as the day that Air Force One, which had been circling the North American continent and keeping President Obama safe for just over 4 months, finally runs out of fuel. The most powerful man in the world fell from the sky into an ordinary expanse of tall brown grass in Oklahoma, skipped along a terminal moraine and burned to death in the wreckage of his aircraft with no fanfare or national mourning period to mark the occasion.
With Love and Courage
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valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
Jyrgunkarrd is a good name, although for me that's possibly due to the similarity to Jörmungandr, and I have such a soft spot for mythology.
That's funny, I kept making it that in my head
Echoing everyone else, good stuff Ender. You should think about developing it into a longer piece. I know I'd buy a full length book of it. It has a nice World War Z style to it.
The only complaint I have is that I'm not sure the monster makes any difference with the meme around.
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valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
Yeah, the meme, which sounds a lot like In the Mouth of Madness, one of my favorite movies, seems to be doing more damage than the monster himself. Who reminds me of that one Godzilla monster from the series that came out in the 90's, the pollution monster.
The only complaint I have is that I'm not sure the monster makes any difference with the meme around.
The report suggested that deafness would effectively counter the meme, because it's apparently much harder to trigger via writing. True, deafening the human race would suck, but it wouldn't be civilization-ending like the monster appears to be. It's literally unstoppable, and appears to have thrown up so much crap into the atmosphere that the Earth will be inhospitable to life soon.
I'd love to see the connection between the meme and the monster fleshed out more. Did one cause the other?
Posts
Jyrgunkarrd the [censored]
He is our Lord. He is Love. He is the Whole Function.
It is now our obligation to reciprocate the generosity. We must mobilize the total worth of our people. Jyrgunkarrd, Mr. President. Jyrgunkarrd! Our offering must not fail to be a triumph. The species must look to us in awe.
Our Lord! Jyrgunkarrd the [censored]!
I have undone the blasphemy, Mr. President. I have cut out the foul-tongues that speak against our Love. We must not tolerate the filth of diversity. It is for the Whole Function.
Jyrgunkarrd!
But then you get the space monsters, and that's just bad news.
The very first appearances of the Jyrgunkarrd meme that we have on record come in the form of graffiti throughout city parks in Boston & on rail cars, presumably while they were parked in the same city, in the 1950s. The dormant strain of the meme seems to have spread via these rail cars into New York City, Edmonton, Miami and San Diego. Once in Edmonton, around 1970 it began to be spread internationally via plain white business cards simply marked with 'Jyrgunkarrd'.
Until January of this year, there is simply no record of the trigger meme. We only have speculation as to how it surfaced and began to circulate.
Given the extremely rapid spread of the epidemic and ease of transmission, this panel wholly endorses the proposal of enforced deafness upon the public. It may be the only way to avert a total collapse of society. The meme is still potent when transmitted via written vector, but does not seem to capture hosts in the same manner, so the panel does not endorse the proposal of an attempted eradication of all information exchanges, A strict quarantine of the state offices should suffice.
If the late Dr. Lansk's data linking the meme infection density with the selection of ET-1's targets is correct, controlling the meme might be at least a stop-gap solution until we can find a way to destroy that Goddamn monster.
"Nah, that's okay, thanks. You guys have fun."
Lets feed em to the monsters.
"Earth...the fabled home-world. Our histories indicate it was overrun by great beasts shortly after we set out for the stars. Clearly mere allegory for overpopulation and poor resource management from our pre-Space Age selves."
Feel free to add me on whatever network, it's always more fun to play with people than alone
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/main
First, I think we'd probably end up murdering all thirty of them. If there is anything the human race has demonstrated, we're pretty good at murdering animals (large monsters I guess are just large animals). Sure, maybe the weapons we have today (which were made to annhilate our fellow humans) would be ineffective, but living in such a culture threatened by monsters. Well, by God, I'm pretty sure the human spirit could rise to murder those guys too.
Second, what do these dudes eat or is it a part of the mutagen? I mean, if there were thirty of the guys that have been showing up over the last fifty years I think the majority of sea life would have been wiped out, which would have killed off a number of human cultures which would impact the ecology, etc.
I mean - would we have starved to death?
This is a fascinating thought.
Exactly.
Even assuming the cuts are deep enough to draw blood, opening up enough area for any amount of blood worth considering to leak out is pretty much impossible, especially compared to the usual strategies of destroying an organ or severing a major artery. If you're dealing with an organism with a relatively firm outer surface like scales or a shell, small shots won't gain any purchase and will just bounce off. You might as claim that a legion of guys with switchblades will eventually wear down a tank.
Well, I'd imagine that we'd assume the monsters were created by Russia to attack American interests at sea? They would deny it, but we'd know better.
World devolves into a global conflict, most of civilization is wiped out. Humanity returns to the darkness inland to avoid such monsters. We become worshiping them.
You see, humans are the real monsters.
AGM-65 MAVERICK SERIES MISSILE
Number Fired: 723
Damage Inflicted: None
Rating: 4/10
Notes:
Let me set the tone of the report by saying that this weapon is about as 'effective' at injuring ET-1 as slapping a wolverine's dick with earbuds is 'effective' at avoiding a mauling from the animal. But it was the only thing employed on the field at the time that did anything to get me hard, so it gets a 4.
The weapon successfully penetrates into ET-1 and explodes, initially causing what looks like some impressive damage. Bits of burning shrapnel fly everywhere, and one of our flygirls - Cpt Julia Baker, God rest her soul - even used one to tear off it's head.
It just grew a new one. Didn't even pretend to be dead for a few seconds.
Wounds just do not last on the thing.
ARMOR-PIERCING FIN-STABILIZING DISCARDING SABOT (APFSDS) DEPLETED URANIUM PENETRATOR
Number Fired: 2,452
Damage Inflicted: None
Rating: 1/10
Notes:
These didn't cause incredible collateral damage or backfire on us, so they get a 1.
The penetrator would hit the target, then just blew right through it with no visible sign of damage. We tried to organize tanks into firing lines and cut ET-1 up with a real barrage of DU, but everything we tried just amounted to an embarrassing end result.
MASSIVE ORDNANCE PENETRATOR GBU-57A/B
Number Dropped: 2
Damage Inflicted: None (Subverted by ET-1)
Rating: 0/10
Notes:
First one took out 3rd Platoon, second one took out 23rd Airborne. ET-1 somehow got them to land on us instead of it, probably just for kicks. After these incidents, we barred the use of GPS-guided weapons; didn't need my boys getting killed by our own fucking JDAMs or MOABs.
MARK 118 GENERAL PURPOSE BOMB
Number Dropped: 30
Damage Inflicted: None (Subverted by ET-1)
Rating: 0/10
Notes:
So here a fucking great idea - let's send a Buff over a fast moving target and try to carpet-bomb it with some old GPBs. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, how about ET-1 vomiting some kind of rubber foam up at the bombs and then flinging them at my boys? That wrong enough for you?
Summary & Additional Notes:
Whomever the chucklefuck is that ignored all of the expert advice and threw together this op anyway: you got a lot of people killed, and you're an embarrassment to the United States military. Half of the things we shot at or tried to shoot at ET-1 aren't even worth listing in this report. Small arms fire, no effect. Laser-guided munitions, the lasers just scatter when they hit the target. Anything that a helicopter might be able to shoot at it, well too fucking bad, because we can't get a gunship into the area when the air is so full of ash (not that you'd want them in there anyway, given what happened to our fixed-wing pilots).
My 'professional' assessment, since apparently now people like myself are the 'professionals' when it comes to fighting threats that we don't understand, is that marines, machines, bullets and explosives were thrown away today in the hopes that they would put on a good show for the cameras. They are not the right tools for this problem, and my superiors warned you that this op would not produce the result you wanted, and you ignored them.
Fuck that, Godzilla is the real monster.
Also, keep the awesome OC coming, Ender. Really enjoyable read.
Really, I think Godzilla is the horse to back in this race.
Oh, sure, he gets a bee in his bonnet over one thing or another, but generally he just wants to destroy, what, 10% of Tokyo and lumber back into the sea.
That's not too bad, really. Who hasn't destroyed a major city in Japan once or twice? I remember my Theta Sigma days. Good times.
In exchange, he's saved the world more times than most of us can count on our fingers. (Yes, Jim, we know about your extra thumb. It's gross.)
Let's just give him diplomatic recognition as the King of the Monsters and hope this mess sorts itself out.
(Also, my money is on ORION going through if this went down. Got close here. There, with panic set to 11?)
Why I fear the ocean.
Mecha-King Ghidorah is also a solid bet.
His work in this thread has been tremendous.
Is he actually writing this stuff or is it stuff he reblogged from the SCP Foundation?
I suspect he's writing it himself. I havent actually gone to the SCP website, but google searching "Jyrgunkarrd" gives 0 results, and if that stuff was on the SCP's page it would pop on google.
So, yeah, I'd like to see more. World War Z except for Giant Monster instead of zombies and "historical documents" instead of Oral History
Arch,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
I'm a fan of the traditional Godzilla monsters, myself; giant city-smashing monsters that shoot death rays from their mouth but don't necessarily have any kind of psychological or mental powers. There's something refreshing about how straightforward they are.
That said, the kind of monster Ender portrays is definitely far more chilling.
Then Ender started writing and I was all "MOAR MOAR MOAR PLZ"
AUGUST 15, 2012
All major urban centers across all continents have been destroyed. Pockets of humanity crowd into old subway tunnels & pedestrian walkways, find refuge on mountain peaks or form nomadic rural communities, relying on small numbers and mobility to keep themselves safe from Jyrgunkarrd and any meme hosts still wandering the decaying roads. A thick blanket of dark smoke that has settled in the lower atmosphere over the entire planet has caused a permanent state of twilight, and those academics still alive recognize that even if the monster itself doesn't manage to devour every last human on Earth, the planet will not likely remain an inhabitable environment for much longer.
Communication between survivor communities is difficult. A widespread, last gasp campaign to deafen the public was carried-our by most advanced nations before their governments completely collapsed, and it was surprisingly effective. Those who can still hear are considered extremely valuable assets.
Today is notable as the day that Air Force One, which had been circling the North American continent and keeping President Obama safe for just over 4 months, finally runs out of fuel. The most powerful man in the world fell from the sky into an ordinary expanse of tall brown grass in Oklahoma, skipped along a terminal moraine and burned to death in the wreckage of his aircraft with no fanfare or national mourning period to mark the occasion.
Good stuff in this thread.
Fantastic work, Ender. It's a wonderful demonstration of how fucked we'd be in the presence of an actual supernatural threat.
That's funny, I kept making it that in my head
Echoing everyone else, good stuff Ender. You should think about developing it into a longer piece. I know I'd buy a full length book of it. It has a nice World War Z style to it.
Seconded. Jesus Christ.
Cool, though.
The report suggested that deafness would effectively counter the meme, because it's apparently much harder to trigger via writing. True, deafening the human race would suck, but it wouldn't be civilization-ending like the monster appears to be. It's literally unstoppable, and appears to have thrown up so much crap into the atmosphere that the Earth will be inhospitable to life soon.
I'd love to see the connection between the meme and the monster fleshed out more. Did one cause the other?