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Trenches comic: Thursday February 16, 2012 - Denouement

BogeyBogey I'm back, baby!Santa Monica, CAModerator mod
edited February 2012 in The Penny Arcade Hub
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Lockdown With Golf

02/16/2012 - Anonymous

In 2005, I was QA for the multiplayer portion of uh, INSERT GOLF GAME.

I never quite found out exactly why—the rumor was either attempted or successful corporate espionage—but the multiplayer testers for this specific game were locked in a secured room while we were testing. The room was about 20 feet by 20 feet, windowless, the wallslined with folding tables. The testers sat in standard desk chairs packed together arm rest-to-arm rest, each roughly in front of an 8” to 10” TV of varying brands and ages. The supervisor sat in the center of the room at a wrap-around desk, half warden and half pit boss… supervising.

As you can imagine, being packed shoulder-to-shoulder with unwashed men in a darkened room for 10-12 hours per day six days per week (with an hour out on the yard at the halfway point) made tensions run somewhat high. There were frequent fights. I’m not a violent person but I was shocked to find myself threatening people on several occasions. None of this seemed to concern our warden, who spent most of his time on car audio forums with headphones on to tune us out.

And of course, as if the confinement and tension weren’t enough, as part of the security procedures the door couldn’t be opened unless every Xbox was turned off and every game disc given to the pit boss. As the person who requested the bathroom break stood in the middle of the room watching his workers try to kill him with their minds. As you can imagine this only happened once. What happened twice, however, was testers passing out and wetting their pants, the chair, the floor and probably whoever had the office beneath him.

And that’s why to this day I can’t watch the Golf Channel without getting angry and peeing a little bit.

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Posts

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Oh, it's that secret story from a while ago. Still horrible.

    The comic made me smile a little.

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    pandaking979pandaking979 Registered User new member
    Man reading this comic makes me feel abit sorry for those in the game industry but its still hilarious.

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    AurichAurich ArizonaRegistered User regular
    Isaac's face is excellent payoff for his performance two comics ago.

    And I STILL love Portalis.

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    NeuroskepticNeuroskeptic Registered User regular
    I've only just noticed that Isaac's head is twice as wide as his body, and he has no shoulders.

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    peacekeeperpeacekeeper AustraliaRegistered User regular
    his face in the first panel makes me actually lol

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    fearsomepiratefearsomepirate I ate a pickle once. Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.

    fearsomepirate on
    Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...nobody.
    PSN ID: fearsomepirate
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    HyzeHyze Registered User regular
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.


    Eh, I don't know about that.
    I knew a nuclear physicist who did some government work several years back. One time they brought him into a facility to do some work, but to get him to the room where he would be working they had to blindfold him as they took him down the halls. When they got him to where he was going, they took the blindfold off where he was working and said he could get started. It was a very small room with one door out. They told him that if he left the room without being accompanied by someone who worked there, the guard standing right outside had permission to shoot him if he wanted to.

    To this day I wonder if he was really doing government work or working with SPECTRE. :P

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    DiannaoChongDiannaoChong Registered User regular
    omg, did anyone QA the story post system?

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    VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    I'm wondering why Cora has a... spatula? trowel? pie/cake-server?... when they're clearly serving cupcake(s).

    EDIT: Also... is her skirt riding up on her right hip?

    Vyolynce on
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    JucJuc EdmontonRegistered User regular
    Oh forum support, how I loathe thee.
    I know a number of folks who won't even open the company forums due to how irritating various posters can be.
    I would normally go in and try to help the people though, it wasn't really my job to start with but nobody else was doing it and it was the right thing to do.

    It was like trying to help paranoid tourettes sufferers.

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    belligerentbelligerent Registered User regular
    They're not serving cupcakes. They're serving cupcake. For all of them.

    Hence the pie/server. Gotta cut that shit.

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    GyralGyral Registered User regular
    Hyze wrote:
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.


    Eh, I don't know about that.
    I knew a nuclear physicist who did some government work several years back. One time they brought him into a facility to do some work, but to get him to the room where he would be working they had to blindfold him as they took him down the halls. When they got him to where he was going, they took the blindfold off where he was working and said he could get started. It was a very small room with one door out. They told him that if he left the room without being accompanied by someone who worked there, the guard standing right outside had permission to shoot him if he wanted to.

    To this day I wonder if he was really doing government work or working with SPECTRE. :P

    I had a friend who got hired to work IT for NASA. He told me that he basically sat at an empty desk in a office for six months straight and did nothing because he had to wait for his security clearance to pass before he could do ANY work he was getting paid to do.

    25t9pjnmqicf.jpg
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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    I've only just noticed that Isaac's head is twice as wide as his body, and he has no shoulders.

    Isaac is essentially the shape of a piece from the board game Sorry.

    This one actually made me laugh - 2 in a row...that's a good sign! Coincidentally two in a row without Q...

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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Gyral wrote:
    Hyze wrote:
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.


    Eh, I don't know about that.
    I knew a nuclear physicist who did some government work several years back. One time they brought him into a facility to do some work, but to get him to the room where he would be working they had to blindfold him as they took him down the halls. When they got him to where he was going, they took the blindfold off where he was working and said he could get started. It was a very small room with one door out. They told him that if he left the room without being accompanied by someone who worked there, the guard standing right outside had permission to shoot him if he wanted to.

    To this day I wonder if he was really doing government work or working with SPECTRE. :P

    I had a friend who got hired to work IT for NASA. He told me that he basically sat at an empty desk in a office for six months straight and did nothing because he had to wait for his security clearance to pass before he could do ANY work he was getting paid to do.

    That sounds pretty sweet to be fair.

    As long as he finally got his security clearance and got to do cool IT Nasa stuff. Otherwise that was a waste of time.

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    fearsomepiratefearsomepirate I ate a pickle once. Registered User regular
    Hyze wrote:
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.


    Eh, I don't know about that.
    I knew a nuclear physicist who did some government work several years back. One time they brought him into a facility to do some work, but to get him to the room where he would be working they had to blindfold him as they took him down the halls. When they got him to where he was going, they took the blindfold off where he was working and said he could get started. It was a very small room with one door out. They told him that if he left the room without being accompanied by someone who worked there, the guard standing right outside had permission to shoot him if he wanted to.

    To this day I wonder if he was really doing government work or working with SPECTRE. :P
    That's not really representative of classified work. I only ever worked on ITAR stuff (it's pretty much the lowest possible level of security), but I knew a lot of guys who worked in sections with higher levels of clearance, and their experience was more like that IT worker's. You do a lot of waiting and paperwork, and then the drama basically amounts to working in a building with no windows and a lot of cameras. Regardless, treating a golf game like the Manhattan Project is going overboard.

    Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...nobody.
    PSN ID: fearsomepirate
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    SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User regular
    Aurich wrote:
    Isaac's face is excellent payoff for his performance two comics ago.

    And I STILL love Portalis.

    His panel one face sums up so much of his experiences. It's perfect.

    MvViV.jpg
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    King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    Gyral wrote:
    Hyze wrote:
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.


    Eh, I don't know about that.
    I knew a nuclear physicist who did some government work several years back. One time they brought him into a facility to do some work, but to get him to the room where he would be working they had to blindfold him as they took him down the halls. When they got him to where he was going, they took the blindfold off where he was working and said he could get started. It was a very small room with one door out. They told him that if he left the room without being accompanied by someone who worked there, the guard standing right outside had permission to shoot him if he wanted to.

    To this day I wonder if he was really doing government work or working with SPECTRE. :P

    I had a friend who got hired to work IT for NASA. He told me that he basically sat at an empty desk in a office for six months straight and did nothing because he had to wait for his security clearance to pass before he could do ANY work he was getting paid to do.

    This is pretty much why NASA is in the crapper.

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
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    SticksSticks I'd rather be in bed.Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    NASA is in the crapper because of budget cuts. Anecdotes like that can probably be found throughout government.

    Sticks on
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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote:
    NASA is in the crapper because of budget cuts. Anecdotes like that can probably be found throughout government.

    NASA makes me sad. Not to politicize this thread, but knowing my son can't dream to go into space is gut-wrenching.

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    Warlock82Warlock82 Never pet a burning dog Registered User regular
    Gyral wrote:
    Hyze wrote:
    I like how the paranoid corporation in the story treated their golf game like it was top-secret nuclear technology. Except companies that do work with actual classified technology don't act like that.


    Eh, I don't know about that.
    I knew a nuclear physicist who did some government work several years back. One time they brought him into a facility to do some work, but to get him to the room where he would be working they had to blindfold him as they took him down the halls. When they got him to where he was going, they took the blindfold off where he was working and said he could get started. It was a very small room with one door out. They told him that if he left the room without being accompanied by someone who worked there, the guard standing right outside had permission to shoot him if he wanted to.

    To this day I wonder if he was really doing government work or working with SPECTRE. :P

    I had a friend who got hired to work IT for NASA. He told me that he basically sat at an empty desk in a office for six months straight and did nothing because he had to wait for his security clearance to pass before he could do ANY work he was getting paid to do.

    This is pretty much why NASA is in the crapper.

    This is not unique to NASA. Besides, what were they gonna do? Give him access to classified stuff without a clearance?

    Switch: 2143-7130-1359 | 3DS: 4983-4927-6699 | Steam: warlock82 | PSN: Warlock2282
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    jackaljackal Fuck Yes. That is an orderly anal warehouse. Registered User regular
    Basically you can't get clearance unless your employer sponsors you so there is really no way to get around that situation unless they have work that doesn't require clearance to keep you busy. This also makes it really difficult to get clearance because it is really expensive for the employer.

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    SlothboySlothboy Registered User regular
    The Tale From the Trench is masterfully written today. The last line is 100% win.

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    SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    cwgabriel wrote:
    Season 1 of trenches ends today: http://trenchescomic.com/ there will be a short break then we'll start season 2.

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    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Well if that's the end of the season, it's ending on a relatively high note. Love Isaac's face and the forum threads.

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    AndorienAndorien Registered User regular
    The waiting for clearance thing I can confirm. While I was in processing for [INSERT GOVERNMENT AGENCY], I already had my stuff and just needed one small extra thing. This equated to 4 weeks of waiting, not doing shit, with minimal oversight. I was lucky, people who did not have a clearance at all were waiting for up to a year. We weren't even able to go to the actual building yet.

    It's definitely not limited to NASA, that 6 month story sounds like par for the course (especially for a contractor).

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    SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Gabe wrote:
    I I realized this morning as I twittered about the first season of our Trenches comic ending that I had forgotten something. What I had forgotten was to tell anyone that this is what we were going to do! You see it has always been out intention to run the strip for five or six months then take a one month break before starting the next season. We just didn’t tell anyone else about that plan.

    So yeah…Season 1 of the Trenches ended today. Season 2 will start next month on March 20th. Our goal with the Trenches is to approach it sort of like a sitcom. We want each season to have it’s own main arc and I think that’s something we’ll get better at as the comic goes on. So far the response to the Trenches has been overwhelming. We hoped people would like it but it has far surpassed all our expectations. So thank you all for following the strip and giving us a chance to tell a different kind of story.

    Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for not communicating that to you all. It was one of those things that I just assumed we had talked about at some point. Turns out that was not the case! Now I’m trying to think if there is any other important shit I’ve forgotten to tell you.

    Hmmm.

    I told you we’re turning Penny Arcade into a British costume drama right?

    -Gabe out

    SabreMau on
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    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    They really haven't told us anything or talked about Trenches much at all since its launch. They told us they were planning on doing it, we heard virtually nothing about it after that for like a year, then it was like "Oh hey The Trenches is launching" and now they've gone pretty much the whole "first season" without talking about it.

    But I always presumed they were doing something like this because the "Seasons" link has been on the page since the beginning.

    I would have thought they would put up something real to replace the scrambled personnel files on the New Readers page by now, but MegaTokyo has gone like a decade with a character bios page with no content, so I guess they've got some time.

    Gaslight on
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    Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    So this was our season finale?

    There were no explosions or main character deaths.

    Oh brilliant
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    MuddBuddMuddBudd Registered User regular
    Hahahahaha


    QA isn't allowed to interact with the PUBLIC

    That's just silly.

    There's no plan, there's no race to be run
    The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
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    mnihilmnihil Registered User regular
    The Trenches truly needs some kind of independent mouthpiece. "Tweeting" the Season ends is just not an appropriate way to inform fans, in my opinion. And I think some added commentary, not necessarily to every comic (in addition to the Tales, that would just be an unhealth text:strip ratio), would enrich the comic. Hey, guys, how about a PA: The Series about the Trenches? Creation, vision, the collaborative process, what's different about it, what's the big picture? Even though Krahulik wrote that response has been "overwhelming", and I'm happy for PA, I think a little bit more PDA towards The Trenches would go a long way. Just my humble opinion.

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    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    mnihil wrote:
    Hey, guys, how about a PA: The Series about the Trenches? Creation, vision, the collaborative process, what's different about it, what's the big picture?

    That could be pretty interesting.

    Anyway, the cast should just be glad they're keeping their jobs post-release, right?

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    AurichAurich ArizonaRegistered User regular
    Gaslight wrote:
    They really haven't told us anything or talked about Trenches much at all since its launch. They told us they were planning on doing it, we heard virtually nothing about it after that for like a year, then it was like "Oh hey The Trenches is launching" and now they've gone pretty much the whole "first season" without talking about it.

    But I always presumed they were doing something like this because the "Seasons" link has been on the page since the beginning.

    I would have thought they would put up something real to replace the scrambled personnel files on the New Readers page by now, but MegaTokyo has gone like a decade with a character bios page with no content, so I guess they've got some time.

    Jesus, is MegaTokyo still around? Thanks for forcing me to go look it up and waste an entire day of my life getting caught up.

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    Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    The rate it updates, you may be caught up by the time I finish posting. ;D

    Oh brilliant
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Gaslight wrote:
    Anyway, the cast should just be glad they're keeping their jobs post-release, right?
    SabreMau wrote:
    Gabe wrote:
    Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for not communicating that to you all. It was one of those things that I just assumed we had talked about at some point. Turns out that was not the case! Now I’m trying to think if there is any other important shit I’ve forgotten to tell you.

    Hmmm.

    I told you you're all fired, right?

    -Gabe out

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    Roger WilcoRoger Wilco Registered User regular
    Sticks wrote:
    NASA is in the crapper because of budget cuts. Anecdotes like that can probably be found throughout government.

    Yes, but they are also horribly run and often waste what little money they have. It's not unique in the government to NASA, but at least some of their problems are their own fault.

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    jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    what do you need space for anyway? it's all empty and cold and dumb!

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    AshokaAshoka A Hub subforum that works? Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Gaslight wrote:
    They really haven't told us anything or talked about Trenches much at all since its launch.

    This.

    jwalk wrote:
    what do you need space for anyway? it's all empty and cold and dumb!

    Space is the bit you have to stop all the other bits from bumping into each other. That's important. Exploration of space, well, that spawns all sorts of highly useful and lucrative technologies. It's almost as good as war in that respect.


    Ashoka on
    WNskB.jpg
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    JetstreamJetstream Registered User regular
    Aurich wrote:
    Gaslight wrote:
    They really haven't told us anything or talked about Trenches much at all since its launch. They told us they were planning on doing it, we heard virtually nothing about it after that for like a year, then it was like "Oh hey The Trenches is launching" and now they've gone pretty much the whole "first season" without talking about it.

    But I always presumed they were doing something like this because the "Seasons" link has been on the page since the beginning.

    I would have thought they would put up something real to replace the scrambled personnel files on the New Readers page by now, but MegaTokyo has gone like a decade with a character bios page with no content, so I guess they've got some time.

    Jesus, is MegaTokyo still around? Thanks for forcing me to go look it up and waste an entire day of my life getting caught up.

    Ahahahahahaha! A day of your life, you say? That's hilarious. You think Piro started updating regularly? :D

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    SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Well, he started by regularly updating. When it launched twelve years ago it was a reliable M/W/F comic.

    SabreMau on
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    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Yep. I think having Largo around, whatever their creative differences, did a lot to help keep him focused and get him out of his own head. Then he got married, then he had a kid...and by then the comic was popular enough he could get away with coasting and make money from merch, con appearances, etc. whether or not the comic updates at all regularly.

    That's probably enough MT talk though. :D Getting back to Trenches, I really do feel like the strip would benefit a lot by being accompanies by some occasional communication from Mike, Jerry, or Scott. It feels sort of like an unloved stepchild, going about its business as it does without any real promotion or discussion of it from its "parents."

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