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Daily Girl/Sex Thread
headn00b
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So roughly two months ago I got myself a girlfriend. The important background info here is: I am 20, she is 19. Before this girl I was a virgin. Before me she had already had a number of sexual partners. We have both been checked out and are fine. I am not asking about sexual health so don't bring it up. We are in love. Again, I am not asking for your opinion on this point, I just felt it was worth mentioning so that this isn't confused with a purely sexual relationship. We are, however, having fantastic sex.
Right, down to the actual point of this topic! Basically before I met this girl I had nothing but myself for pleasure. Over the years it got to a point where I would masturbate in a way that just made me orgasm very quickly. This also produced a pretty disappointing orgasm but I just kept doing it this way.
Skip forward to today and while 'classic' penetrative sex with my girlfriend is amazing, I am finding it impossible to orgasm when she gives me a hand/blow job and I can tell it's getting to her.
How can I work this out and make my girlfriend feel good about going down on me?
tl;dr I was an ass about jerking off and now my girlfriend can't give me a successful handjob.
Right, down to the actual point of this topic! Basically before I met this girl I had nothing but myself for pleasure. Over the years it got to a point where I would masturbate in a way that just made me orgasm very quickly. This also produced a pretty disappointing orgasm but I just kept doing it this way.
Skip forward to today and while 'classic' penetrative sex with my girlfriend is amazing, I am finding it impossible to orgasm when she gives me a hand/blow job and I can tell it's getting to her.
How can I work this out and make my girlfriend feel good about going down on me?
tl;dr I was an ass about jerking off and now my girlfriend can't give me a successful handjob.
Your sig was too tall.
-Thinatos
-Thinatos
headn00b on
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To be honest I don't really want to do this. When I masturbate it's shit.
To clarify, what this girl does feels pretty good, but it just isn't what I've become used to and I can't seem to orgasm because of this.
-Thinatos
Most girls don't have nearly the same amount of exp at it as men. Teach.
Teach her, or work with her for finding the best route to mutual climax.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Good luck!
Most girls think it's all mouth and it isn't, they need to use their hands sometimes. Watch a porno together with some heavy oral, maybe she'll learn something. You too as well.
Oh, yeah, I bet she put some time and effort into you going down on her so it's not like that ground hasn't already been covered. And if it hasn't, this is the perfect opportunity for you both.
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of doom
pleasepaypreacher.net
To the OP: Just relax and enjoy the time together and stop spanking it while all of this is going on. If you can't stop, limit yourself to every so often and build your sensitivity back up.
pleasepaypreacher.net
I have the same problem though.
While none of us are total man sluts only one of us had slept with a girl that could actually give a decent hand jobs, blow jobs are more hit and miss.
Anyway the easiest way is to talk to her.
She is getting upset over this, talk to her and help her out or just stick to regular sex.
Satans..... hints.....
also I'll jump on the "most girls aren't good at it" bandwagon. Took my ex a while to get it right. Don't get mad at them though... it's not like they have a dick and know what it feels good and what doesn't.
Second, you need to blame her. Make sure she understands that this is all her fault.
Then, let her know that she can redeem herself by taking it in the pooper.
What?
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Otherwise, stop masturbating. That will make you a little more sensitive and you'll be wasting loads all over her hands or whatever the hell else she wants to use in no time.
Seriously, education. Either personal or have her check out some pornos. You're in love with this girl, so you'll be with her for a while, take the chance that she really does want to make you feel good - so show her how!
Think of it the other way around. If you couldn't eat her out worth a damn and didn't make her feel good, wouldn't you want her to teach you how to so you could be better?
Is this... actually good advice? I cant tell if that would be a good idea or a really bad one. Have you actually tried it? I'm rather skeptical here.
Novel. Might work to provide a bit of a demo- if she can see how its done, its reasonable to assume she could copy. Pace and grip, if anything.
I'll toss my hat in for 'some girls can't get it right'. Precious few can't learn though. Positions matter, and don't forget about your own leverage- a foot on the floor, wall or headboard can let you move your hips enough to coax her to the right spot, and get into the action a bit more.
For handjobs, don't forget the lube - critical equipment for a second party O. Try organic bodywash in the shower if you're too embarrassed to get Astroglide.
If you're new to the experience, you may want to know that it's okay to switch it up. One type of pleasure for that long rarely works out. Solo is one thing, its fast, cheap and effective, but it's rarely engaging enough for two. Certainly not from prep to launch, thats a long haul.
A quick hit strategy for beginners is to hit the foreplay hard with zero genital contact. Everywhere but, and as close as you can get with out actually touching. Work up a sweat this way first. You should move past arousal, which is where most people start going at it, and into early compulsion- that bit where one's focus changes to be only and absolutely about the other person and what they are doing. After a while longer, you'll feel the bloodrush, your face will get hot and it will feel like your erection is super warm, almost burning. Most people enter into full compulsion at this point, unaware that they are making little moves with thier bodies to ease sexual tension and frustration. As soon as you catch yourself making those small movements (hips thrusts, positioning to rub in the right way, etc) ask her to go for the gold. Wont take long at all before you pop. After the first few, it gets easier - your brain will actually rewire your pleasure centers to get the most out of whats being offered. Once some of the mystery is gone, and you both know your way around, its easy enough to run through the numbers on command.
it's a pretty easy one to explain to. I just ran it by a girl who is a self professed lover of giving head, yet somehow she never managed to get the memo that handless head is pretty much fucking useless. to her service, she's got a fantastic mouth.
Anyways, communication is key. You have to both be comfortable with telling each other "No, no you're doing it wrong" and know that the other person isn't going to be offended. Honestly, the best relationship I had is where we were able to get that communication stuff down pat. I was pretty inexperienced, and so was she, but we knew what we liked. So I'd tell her to go slow, or fast, or hard, or whatever, and she'd say "There's my vagina. Perhaps you could do something with that." It worked quite well.
but seriously. that's what they are here for. m i rite?
We last had sex on Sunday and I can't see my girlfriend again until the weekend so I'll take the advice that a few people mentioned and not masturbate until then. I talked to her about it last night and she didn't seem so troubled once I explained everything, although she has it in her head that she's pretty good at blowjobs. Whoever mentioned the bit about most girls just working the head with blowjobs was bang on though, that is exactly what she is like at the moment.
We'll work at it when the weekend rolls around, and we'll give what Sarcastro said a go to heat things up before hand.
Thanks folks!
-Thinatos
yeah, I think that most guys don't want to discourage mouth-to-dick play at any cost so they support bad blowjobs. either that or there are guys out there who blow so easily that a mouth will actually do the jobs.
lpkmckenna for president!
Although 2 weeks apart will make sex better again afterwards. Hehe. Even if you don't stop causing god to kill bunnies.
This works out pretty goddamn well, I might add.
It's also pretty obvious that it's not an easy thing to do well anyway, unless one's penis is somewhat small or thin. So tell her. Tell her you know it's not exactly an easy thing to do well, and that if a past boyfriend thought she was good, that's great, but not all people are built the same way. You can also tell her that she's not bad, she just needs to practice more.
Any advice received from friends in real life or here should be tempered that it depends on what works for you. Experimentation is what makes it fun, but that means you need to speak and practice. Take it light-heartedly.
There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no death there is the Force.
Very true. I didn't do a very good job telling my wife this after we got married, and it killed her confidence for a good long while. Them's were a dark time my friends.
Ecouragement over critisism.
After eh? Rookie error...
Always piss off the girl before she can take half your stuff when she leaves.