The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
MrMonroe tries to peck at the Swolebolds, but his peck cannot penetrate their pecs! Ashamed, he transforms back into his Kentucky Gentlemen Set.
Buttlord, Chronomasturbator, pumps his clock vigorously. Eventually, a swolebold is covered in aging semen. The swolebold quickly dies of natural causes. The party gains a wonderful bobble-head dog Experience Novelty. Buttlord's Temporal Prostrate feels okay.
Farg lights up the room with a starburst. Sadly, starbursts are poor for illuminating jackshit. A swolebolds eats the starburst, gaining a speed bonus.
Nerd has pleased Jazzathoth, the Blind Musician, and receives a random mutation. Nerd now has two extra trumpet arms.
Xehalous lays prostrate upon the obsidian altar of the Witchaloks. Several minutes go by as calls for aid, any aid, are made by the Paladin Who Is Desperate For Oiled Up Swolebolds.
Then, from the darkness, an answer is heard.
A grim transformation occurs. It is painfully unfunny.
Behold: Xehalous, Witchalok of the Tribe Andy Dick.
NeoToma, the Kegmeister, successfully cons a Swolebold to a drink-off. The Swolebold could not match even Neo's Lightweight Drinking rating. It dies of alcohol poisoning, and NeoTome gains one notch in the toxicity belt.
Farg fancies himself a kickboxer, and successfully delivers a Flying Eagle Kick to the Burly One, the Chief Swolebold, for 25 damage. Farg's Ego Whirlpool slowly begins to bubble.
Melding smashes two Swolebold faces right in with the Unnecessary Toughness skill. Melding gain a leg lamp Experience Novelty.
The Swolebolds retaliate! There are six remaining, plus the Burly One himself.
Melding takes a savage flexing, receiving 2 Ego Damage. Thelonius gets the crap beat out of him in return for 5 damage and 50 Man Sands.
Dubh is the victim of the Burly One's Flying Suplex. She loses 5 Defense pips to absorb the damage.
Nerd becomes the target of a savage flexing, but his Ego is too high! The Swolebold feels self-conscious.
Fire Truck is hit by a Tight Buttocks Maneuver, dealing 12 Tight Damage.
Kadith is locked between two well-toned legs! He takes 5 damage a round, and cannot act for the next five rounds!
Two Swolebolds pose suggestively in spite of the critically low oil! This damages Buttlord's Nationalist Pride on the Kinsey Globe, lowering his damage for five rounds.
Sterica on
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ButtlordFornicusLord of Bondage and PainRegistered Userregular
Yukira's tail spinning has angered the Ratkuza, a deadly gang of organized rodents! Four of their toughest thugs assist the Swolebolds.
Buttlord goes back in time, altering genetics and upbringing to shift his citizenship on the Kinsey Globe. He is now a member of the United States of Abearica! The chiseled dudes in front of him dramatically increase his attack potential!
QuetziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User, Moderatormod
"Hey you there! Yeah you, the monastic looking motherfucker. This town ain't big enough for the two of us, but there's a damn mystery to solve. Let's team up!"
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ButtlordFornicusLord of Bondage and PainRegistered Userregular
i drop a load of magic on the hot naked guys before me
Posts
in hopes they start posing instead of fighting
Buttlord, Chronomasturbator, pumps his clock vigorously. Eventually, a swolebold is covered in aging semen. The swolebold quickly dies of natural causes. The party gains a wonderful bobble-head dog Experience Novelty. Buttlord's Temporal Prostrate feels okay.
Farg lights up the room with a starburst. Sadly, starbursts are poor for illuminating jackshit. A swolebolds eats the starburst, gaining a speed bonus.
That's what you get for being so chaste, pal...adin.
Party Stats:
-10 Trepidation Points
+ 5 Cocksure Swagger
Monster Stats:
+5 Trepidation Points
+5 Religious Inquiry
what are the penalties for denouncing denouncing and throwing myself to the witchaloks
irregardless, it will be so
quoting yahoo answers and youtube comments to seal my fate
Everyone form up, i'm going to hurl this egg shaped shield to someone and then you use it to smash the swolebolds. go!
Xehalous lays prostrate upon the obsidian altar of the Witchaloks. Several minutes go by as calls for aid, any aid, are made by the Paladin Who Is Desperate For Oiled Up Swolebolds.
Then, from the darkness, an answer is heard.
A grim transformation occurs. It is painfully unfunny.
Behold: Xehalous, Witchalok of the Tribe Andy Dick.
Farg fancies himself a kickboxer, and successfully delivers a Flying Eagle Kick to the Burly One, the Chief Swolebold, for 25 damage. Farg's Ego Whirlpool slowly begins to bubble.
Melding smashes two Swolebold faces right in with the Unnecessary Toughness skill. Melding gain a leg lamp Experience Novelty.
Melding takes a savage flexing, receiving 2 Ego Damage. Thelonius gets the crap beat out of him in return for 5 damage and 50 Man Sands.
Dubh is the victim of the Burly One's Flying Suplex. She loses 5 Defense pips to absorb the damage.
Nerd becomes the target of a savage flexing, but his Ego is too high! The Swolebold feels self-conscious.
Fire Truck is hit by a Tight Buttocks Maneuver, dealing 12 Tight Damage.
Kadith is locked between two well-toned legs! He takes 5 damage a round, and cannot act for the next five rounds!
Two Swolebolds pose suggestively in spite of the critically low oil! This damages Buttlord's Nationalist Pride on the Kinsey Globe, lowering his damage for five rounds.
Buttlord goes back in time, altering genetics and upbringing to shift his citizenship on the Kinsey Globe. He is now a member of the United States of Abearica! The chiseled dudes in front of him dramatically increase his attack potential!
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Dubh hurls a mighty stave at the Burly One. He takes 25 Digestive Physical damage, and feels a bit weak.
Straightzi, the Jersey Sheriff, has come in to clean up this one-horse town.
We're not sure if there are any mysteries to solve but, if there are any, I bet Blankzilla the Monk Detective will solve them.
I alter the lyrics to include the profitable joint exploits betwwen the ratkuza and the bard mafia to let the ratkuza know no insult was intended.
Only returning to claim my share of the riches.
The pay rate can be renegotiated during contract renegotiations next year.
Also the fact that dungeons are filthy
Fine, i punch the swolebold, but very half ass like.
time to roll on all the loot