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Tales from the tabletop: I so wanna be Drizzt

I so wanna be Drizzt
or Reality Always Hit the Clueless

Disclaimer: This isn't an attack piece in any way. After debating with the group, we considered it the best thing to do. We teach new players ethics around the table. We want to show other players the warning sign of a potential troublemaker. Lastly, there's a chance that this person will see the errors of his way. There's also a chance that Scientologist are right and that we are plugged into the Matrix... But why not try anyways? Keep in mind that I, Akalistos, am telling the tale but the other players do chime in with their two cents.

It started when me and Randy contacted each other over a game of Dungeon & Dragons. He was new to the game, and I had experience as a DM. I kept on messaging for the game and it was from one of those posts that I encountered CWal728. Randy and I added him. Soon, Abbath & Nikolai joined and finally Abbath invited Anthony . The group was supposed to be run by Abbath who had little experience with Dungeon Mastering. We didn't mind and I offered to coach him a bit.

When I return online during one of my day off, I learn that CWal728 had taken upon himself to coach the new players. He kept on saying that he was a seasoned pro. Anthony and Randy told me about how he revised their character and told them what to pick. (Anthony: “More like remade to his liking. Keep that in mind as you read on.”) If you ever played an RPG, you know it's a bad idea. You can get a better feel of your character and plan strategies with powers that play well with each other's. It's significantly harder to do that with one you had nothing to do with or a class you haven't played. We also made some backstory and tales of Cwal's epic one, reached me through the others. (Abbath: “It sounded like Drizzt own backstory. He kept referring to it but said his was more HARDCORE.” )

We started the campaign as intended. We introduced ourselves. Cwal played Vicryn the Drow Ranger. As soon as we went on our quest, he declared himself the boss. Our first combat wasn't much better. Our objective rested in a two story high tower and while he climbed up for no real reason, my rogue snuck to the entrance. (Randy: I'm a n00b and I know it. Even to me, that didn't make any sense.) Finally, we started the fight and Cwal started barking order to the others. (Randy: “more like yelling.”) Their inexperience really aggravated him. He finally lost a gasket when the battle lasted, according to him, way too long. The DM had a hidden creature trying to wait for a opening and taking shot at us from cover. He yelled at Abbath that combat shouldn't last more then thirty minutes maximum, which is ridiculous. His action actually removed all the fun from the game. (Randy, Anthony, Nikolai, and Abbath: Seconded!)

Days later, we decided on an intervention. We talked to another person, named Quazcake who ran a game with Cwal and added him to the intervention as a character witness. He apologized but he was really dismissive, saying he couldn't really speak. He was revolted to learn that Quazcake was on the call, and it ended quickly. We were ready to pat ourselves on the back, thinking this saga was over. Ha! Hindsight is a bitch, isn't it?

The second session wasn't as bad. He still led the group but this time, I couldn't suggest something without him either trying to drown my voice or him repeating what I just said. The first fight went poorly. Monsters were coming toward us from far away and instead of making an ambush, he sniped them with glee. The rest of the group had to advance on them, taking their potshots as we got closer. He was enjoying it. It's at this moment that he used a power from the hunter class. I asked him why didn't he specialize himself for damage like he said he was. He shot me down with a: “Don't be that guy! DON'T BE THAT GUY! I know what I'm DOING!” I later told him that Hunter powers are from the Essential version of the Seeker, making him a Hybrid Controller. He didn't believe me at first, but I was right. From then on, he referred himself as the controller of the group. (Anthony: “Yeah, that's why some of us decided to remake our characters.”)

We talked for a while after the session. We decided on inviting one of my own players, Sam, and I told them tale of my friend and player Oblivion. He's a guy that loves teasing people who act poorly, by just poking them with a bit of reality. The group begged me to invite him and so I did. Tales of Cwal's sportsmanship was all it took for him to join. He giggled when we told him that Cwal wanted to be the Lone Hero and we were just cannon fodder.

The third session, we organized a trap for some NPC. We placed ourselves at the ready inside the tavern where everything would go down. Cwal climbed a nearby building to shoot at anything he would see, despite that Abbath told him he couldn't see inside. (Abbath: “Add repeatedly to that.”)(Oblivion: “And not just Abbath, but mister high and mighty wouldn't listen.”) We fought the battle inside, blocking the door and trying to keep our target inside. The fight took a few rounds and during that time Cwal couldn't do anything. He grew angrier and more spiteful with each passing round. In the end, he berated the DM so that he could join. (Oblivion: “It was so funny) He made angry demands and before Abbath could say anything, he acted as if he did. Outside of the table, in our secret chat, we laughed at his expense and more.

The last session we had was even worse. We found ourself in tight corner. Cwal decided to enter into Melee combat this time. He entered the room and attacked some bandit, who quickly flanked him. “I'll save you!” I said to Cwal while my rogue killed the bandit. This didn't sit well with Cwal who claimed to be ok. Oblivion chimed in saying that effectively, to my character, he was in deep shit and to keep quiet. The second thing that twisted his panties was my last hit which the DM declared had pierced an Alchemist fire potion located inside the enemy's vest. We all got whiplash from the flames. We continued on and while we did, Oblivion decided to stream the session. It's was requested by other players who wished to see Cwal in action. The idea came from Cwal originally, so we figured it was no big deal.

The second fight was with a couple Packs of Drakes. Cwal jumped again in melee with his glaive (Nikolai: "You Fool!!"). For those not in the know, Glaives are some of the rare weapons that have Reach 2. It mean you can be 2 squares away and still hit, while most of the other melee weapons are Reach 1. Still, he was right there, up close. This is when one of our viewers, Craptastic-13, messaged him, saying “NOOOOOOB!” The place was blocked by the fighter and the ranger and the other four couldn't do anything. I asked them to back aways to a more open area so we could all take shots. Only our fighter listened. In the end, Vicryn fell unconscious. Infuriated, he put all the blame on the fighter, who was as badly injured as he was. (Nikolai: “He threatened to stab my fighter with a non-existant short sword, to which Crap replied: "Glaive Him, Skippy!! Glaive Him! Cwal was a real ass about this.”) Craptastic chimed in again with another comment: ”That was a Dumb Move” Says the Ranged Striker who went into melee. News Flash: "You're Doing It Wrong.”

I know Craptastic-13. While most of us have a Jiminy Cricket on our shoulder telling us not to do something, his just decided to go retire on a sunny beach with a bottle of Tequila. We never used anything he say against him. But this came out of left field for us and we could barely keep a straight face. We gave props to Crap whole-heartedly in the chat and telling him he won the “Interwebz”. Cwal turned against us at this point. He angrily questioned everyone. I told him I didn't know Crap, and Oblivion said to block him. We both knew that Crap could do far worse, and we weren't sure he could take his full-on comments. In the end, Oblivion told him, he was streaming. He claimed, talking for us all, telling us that we should have at least been warned. The group, in a single voice, said we didn't have any problem with it. At this moment, Oblivion dropped the final bomb: “Would you have acted differently if you knew?” He left the group and disconnected from the server. We laughed and congratulated Crap and Oblivion. It was the funniest thing that has happened in this group.

Cwal's ego didn't ended there. He contacted the DM, demanding apologies from the group who went on and sent him U Mad videos. He sent Abbath this verbose message: “give them an untimatuim in my name ok otherwise your group will fail”. We answered by telling him that his spot was now taken by Craptastic-13. He still send message to Abbath asking how the campaign is going.

We tried to explain to him the rules, the game, and the world. We really tried. Really, there's no victim here. Cwal did this to himself. Can you really blame us after all the chances we've given the guy? Would any of you acted differently in the same circumstance?


  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Wow. Cwal sounds like a pretty typical special snowflake player who wants to always be the star of everything. That happens, yeah, but you guys decided to bring people who weren't even a part of the game in as 'character witnesses'? And then decided to taunt him privately and work together to prevent his character from assisting at all in a combat(and hey, forcing him outside where he could get shot the hell up by the ranged striker might have been a good idea!) that's kind of a dick move.

    And then you decided to stream the session for a friend of yours who is a known goose without letting the guy know(seriously, a dick move,) and decided to insult/berate the player you invited into your own group, and then you pat all of yourselves on the back?

    Yes. That's hilarious.

    No wait, the other thing.

    Sure, Cwal may have been a bad player, and those happen, especially on the internet, but you guys responded in the most juvenile and goosey way possible, so congratulations I guess? Maybe next time politely ask the guy to leave instead of purposefully enraging him for the lulz.

    ExarchDongs Galore
  • AkalistosAkalistos Registered User
    That happens, yeah, but you guys decided to bring people who weren't even a part of the game in as 'character witnesses'?
    Yeah, a lot of stuff didn't make the cut when we all wrote that story, mostly for the sake of brevity. The Character witnesse was just so he couldn't weasel his way claiming it was just a one time deal. Surprisingly, we got ton of feedback on the guy who's never really being friendly in anything he played before.
    And then decided to taunt him privately and work together to prevent his character from assisting at all in a combat(and hey, forcing him outside where he could get shot the hell up by the ranged striker might have been a good idea!) that's kind of a dick move.
    The problem with multiple writer writing the same piece. We did make pun behind his back. As for preventing him to assist, that's entirely not true. He was the ranger, and thus was preventing the rest of the group from joining in. Since he's ranger, he could have gone back and just shoot while the fighter (because there was two in our group) took the hits. Funny enough, he was one of the only ranged character which is why I still doesn't get his action.
    And then you decided to stream the session for a friend of yours who is a known goose without letting the guy know(seriously, a dick move,) and decided to insult/berate the player you invited into your own group, and then you pat all of yourselves on the back?
    We streamed it because players wanted to see Cwal in action. Crap, like I said in the piece, is more or less a lose canon and we didn't even begin to imagine him sending those tells. Like I said in the piece, it literally came from the left field and left the players on their asses. Dick move, fair enough. I'm sure that at this point our view of the guy and our anger might have alter our judgment a bit. It's also fair to say that we did told him many time before and after the game to change his ways and he didn't. So, "Me be dick because you be dick".... A true internet story. :lol:
    Sure, Cwal may have been a bad player, and those happen, especially on the internet, but you guys responded in the most juvenile and goosey way possible, so congratulations I guess? Maybe next time politely ask the guy to leave instead of purposefully enraging him for the lulz.
    It's in the story, at the end. He saw himself as the campaign. It was his story. He wouldn't have left even if we ask politely. The polite approch was what we did for a while and didn't work. You see, there's those who think they are right and those who have Faith they are right. Those who think might back themselves off if you prove them wrong but those who have Faith, like the Wesboro Baptist Church, will say anything even if proof be dumped on their head. He believe in him bulldooky so hard and how mighty he was that nothing we could say fazed him.

    And Personaly (I don't want to throw the other guys in this), I think the only way to learn from your mistake is by getting a painful consequence. You learn not to touch fire when you hand hurt you like a Motherkisser for a few hours. So, the crime had to have a consequence. And it was a game, a game where WE had the right to have fun too. I do understand your position tho.

  • AkalistosAkalistos Registered User
    I just realize something, Rainfall. When you say:
    work together to prevent his character from assisting
    Are you talking about him choosing to get on top of the nearby building, as we told him not to?
    Are you talking about him going melee in the other session?

    Because the first one, we actually told him beforehand what we were going to do. We told him we will barricade the door and surprisingly, he didn't object. We also gave him a chance to come down when Abbath told him he heard scream from inside the tavern but nobody leaving. He kept there at the ready. Noobish mistake, but one of his own doing.

    The second one was like I told up in my previous reply.

    Thank for the comment, Rainfall. It's really appreciated. You got the regard of the others.

  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Registered User regular
    Yeah, I gotta agree with Rainfall on this one. As a long time DM, I've had my share of goosey players. You either ask them to leave or just don't invite them to the next session. The problem here is you've taken a personal conflict and decided to share it with the entire internet to shame him even further. For all your claims of this not being a character assassination peice, it seems pretty pointed at making this Cwal guy looking like a giant bag of dicks. Which you suceeded at, but by sharing that private information publicly you've also made yourself(-selves?) look like giant bags of dicks. So, congratulations?

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior // MHW Name: Josei //
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Gonna have to agree with Mikey and Rainfall. While don't disagree this Cwal sounds like a That Guy, what you've done exactly opposite of what you wanted to do, this is a hit piece. While sometimes they can be amusing, this isn't the place for it.

    It's funny as I'm actually working on a treatise of running games and what to do in this situation. After the 2nd session, I would've picked up stakes and moved onto a new chat room and left the guy in the dust. You didn't deserve what he was doing, but that didn't justify the retalition. Besides, you don't feed special snowflakes attention, you isolate them so they learn or die.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Can we turn the dial to "Mellow Reflection" and turn this into the new You Wouldn't Believe It, But... thread?

    DarkPrimus on
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
  • MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    Yeah. We had a 'That Guy' who used to play with our group in college. When it got too much we had a meeting before the game and pretty much put out on the table that no one in the group (GM included) were enjoying his antics and that his entire demeanor was distracting both in game and out.

    We offered to keep him in the group if he stopped being an ass, this was unacceptable for him so he left the group. We weren't very heartbroken...

    BNet • magicprime#1430 | PSN/Steam • MagicPrime | Origin • FireSideWizard
    Critical Failures - Havenhold CampaignAugust St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Everyone in this story is a terrible person. All of them.

  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Can we turn the dial to "Mellow Reflection" and turn this into the new You Wouldn't Believe It, But... thread?

    I think we could probably manage that!

    Let me open this up with the tale of RB-1000, a simple mining droid who went horribly insane.

    Some quick backstory: RB's player was not a regular fixture in the group. I was brand new as well, so I didn't know this.

    So it was a Saga Edition game, and RB was a reprogrammed labor droid with a power hammer, who suffered from severe logic malfunctions thanks to the human that freed/reprogrammed him also being a bit crazy.

    Unfortunately, this resulted in a Fishmalk type character, who would do things for the lulz and then get shot at by the rest of the party.

    First die roll of the campaign was him announcing he was going to murder an NPC as she walked away, and me being forced to Ion blast him several times.

    But hey, a crazy player isn't anything new. This story... this story is something special.

    We had just landed on a new planet after some adventures and were taking it easy, spending some cash, and refitting our ships. Patel, our Human gunner, had gone bowling and drinking(bowled a perfect game, picked up a Twi'lek and arranged a date for later.)

    My Rodian(the pilot,) and our Zabrak scout were just shopping for weapons and gear for our increasingly-awesome ship. Our medic droid, Dr. Professional(from Prestigious U!) was working on adding new cybernetic enhancements to our giant cat berserker(Togorians?)

    This left RB all alone. He had said he wanted to work on repainting his own ship, the Repeat Offender, so we loaned him a pack of labour droids from our transport ship/carrier(20 or so.)

    This was a grave mistake.

    The GM sets the scene of the shipyard. Massive cargo vessels unloading their cargoes. Food, metals, textiles.

    Textiles? RB is interested, and orders his droids to investigate, claiming he wants to make capes for them. They follow a textile shipment to a warehouse, and the foreman approaches RB, confused by the droid with the massive power hammer and labour droid pack.

    This is where it goes south: RB kills the foreman and takes the textiles, making a break for the Repeat Offender. A series of spectacular Pilot rolls later, and one horribly botched Navigation roll, and he has broken free of the planet, his labour droids busy fashioning capes.

    None of the other characters have any idea of this until the cops show up.

    Me and the Zabrak peacefully surrender. We can talk our way out. The police search our craft, and find our medical droid(with spider legs, glowing eyes, and a pitch-black surgery room,) performing new and exotic surgery on our cat-warrior. He's forcibly shut down and taken into custody. Cool, court battle time, right?

    Patel. Oh, Patel.
    He had a hotel room, and was freshening up for his date. Weapons by the bed, shower on, and that's when the police knocked. We chuckled and teased him about bailing on his date.
    He says 'one minute!" and puts on his bathrobe, grabs his gun, and a belt of grenades. Seconds later, the hotel floor is a smoking ruin, SWAT teams are en route, and Patel is on the run.

    He makes it to the subway, and from there his top priority is to find... a lawyer! It's an hour away, and he catches the lawyer just before he leaves, and asks him for advice.

    "Well, sir, I really think at this point you should turn yourself in." The lawyer is sweating bullets and making gestures at his secretary, who picks up the phone. Patel takes a few minutes to clue in, and continues to make a break for it.

    At this point, me and the Zabrak have talked our way out of trouble, negotiated passage off the planet, and are washing our hands of the whole mess, leaving Patel on his own, a wanted fugitive with no way off the planet.

    So he decides to go out with a bang, preparing a small clearing in the woods with grenade traps, getting cover, etc. He guns dozens of cops down before they overwhelm him. His last sight?

    His Twi'lek date in a police uniform, raising her sidearm to gun him down.

    And that was the only gaming night we ever wiped from the campaign record due to mass stupidity and party fracturing.

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