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What do you want to be when you grow up? [Job Thread]

MortalToasterMortalToaster Registered User regular
edited March 2013 in Social Entropy++
Sheri wrote: »
Liiya wrote: »
Ashcroft wrote: »
I had someone scream at me today, literally scream, as loud as a person can, to the point where I could hear them straining with the effort, for almost 80 minutes, pretty much non-stop. It was incredible. Like speaking to a stressed out female Nic Cage after they'd jammed a spoonful of coke under each eyelid.

If only they had screamed a tiny bit louder. Like all customer service, we help people entirely based on how loud the phone call is.
Yessss, I love hearing other customer service horror stories
What do you do?!
Yessss, I love hearing other customer service horror stories

continuing where we left off...

(also tell us you trials and travails from work)

MortalToaster on
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    godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    We bought this NAS for the office and it's really great. But there are instances where it cannot be reached, like right now this one guy cannot ping it or connect to it at all, but can access all other network resources. And this happened to my boss yesterday (don't know if it worked itself out by now). And it happened to me too, but it was weird because the same computer previously could reach it and then it couldn't later for some reason.

    Basically I hate when one or two computers or users can't do the thing that everyone else can do.

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    shit I wanna hear that story.

    Things might be reaching a head with me and work. I went back to college and they offered to keep me on part time. My initial plan was to give maths grinds for which there is plenty of demand but was convinced otherwise.

    Anyway it's my week off and I've shit loads of college work to do that I won't be able to do next week because it's my week on and I'll be basically either be in lectures or at work every day all day next week. So the boss says can I come in for a meeting tomorrow, to which I say, I don't have the time. He says ok but drops in an ultimatum that this arrangement will be unworkable in the future. I say I need more warning time in advance because of all the school work I have to do and then relent and say I'll come in anyway. He tells me not to bother. So I send him a big text saying sorry (though I aint really got much to be sorry for) and to please consider that I have other stuff on when arranging meetings. Now he's assigned someone else to be my 'boss' so he won't be dealing with me anymore.

    I really don't have the time to start studying the maths curriculum again right now (I would have had if I left when I initially planned) so I'm pretty much stuck here and have to suck this shit up urghh. Hopefully my grant will come through

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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    HR introduced this "Core Competencies" thing the other day.

    Its.....interesting.

    I guess I see it as a good thing.

    But a lot of older folk in the company are all "whenever HR does something like this, its usually because they are planning lay offs in the future and want to build a strong case"

    So I guess well see who survives at the end of the year?

    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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    monsterrormonsterror HEY ASSBUTT Registered User regular
    Adding a smiley to your email telling me to do something that you should be doing will not make me do it. It will only make you look condescending.

    "These five users need access set up."
    "Ok, I've got that done for you. Here are the credentials they will all use."
    "And you communicated that to the users, right? :) "
    "No, fuck you. You asked for them to be created, you're the account manager, that is your job."

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    KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Code fondler Helping the 1% get richerRegistered User regular
    We figured out who broke the build and then pushed it out while it was broken. "I was tired and figured I'd fix it tomorrow morning." Except he checked it in to the main production branch. And he had to do that while logged in as a build admin.

    I think we have our new head of Asian futures support.

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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    Excel wizards I need help

    How can I take an excel file that has information in a bunch of columns

    And than save it in a semicolon delimited format.

    rotate.jpg
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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    monsterror wrote: »
    Adding a smiley to your email telling me to do something that you should be doing will not make me do it. It will only make you look condescending.

    "These five users need access set up."
    "Ok, I've got that done for you. Here are the credentials they will all use."
    "And you communicated that to the users, right? :) "
    "No, fuck you. You asked for them to be created, you're the account manager, that is your job."

    I hate smiles and the phrase, "Please advise," in most email.

    Mostly because when a user says, "Please advise," it means, "No one trained me."

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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    Nogs wrote: »
    Excel wizards I need help

    How can I take an excel file that has information in a bunch of columns

    And than save it in a semicolon delimited format.

    You can't just Save As and in the file type select CSV?

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    JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    excel lets you export to csv

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    MortalToasterMortalToaster Registered User regular
    Naphtali wrote: »
    Nogs wrote: »
    Excel wizards I need help

    How can I take an excel file that has information in a bunch of columns

    And than save it in a semicolon delimited format.

    You can't just Save As and in the file type select CSV?

    yeah, save as CSV, re-open in notepad and do a replace all on your commas with semicolons. i don't think excel has an option to use other characters for a CSV format

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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    So I might not get to go back to school until September if my registration with the ACCA doesn't come through before next week or so.

    I was getting excited about starting at the end of the month along with starting driving lessons.

    I guess I should start looking at other things I could be doing.

    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited February 2013
    Nogs wrote: »
    Excel wizards I need help

    How can I take an excel file that has information in a bunch of columns

    And than save it in a semicolon delimited format.

    The previously mentioned Save As CSV and Find>Replace will work, provided none of the data in your columns contains commas, because then those commas will get replaced, too.

    Anyway, I found this
    Microsoft Excel is a great program, especially when you are created delimited files to import into MySQL databases. However, when you have commas within data columns, using commas as the delimiter will ruin your day. A better approach is to use semi-colons as the delimiter…But Excel does not give you this option. So, the easiest approach is to make this change in the Windows settings.

    To do so:

    1. Go to START>SETTINGS>REGIONAL AND LANGUAGE OPTIONS
    2. Click on the CUSTOMIZE button
    3. Next to LIST SEPARATOR, type in a semi-colon (;)

    This will set the default delimiter value to a semi-colon. So, when you save a file in Excel as .csv, you will have semi-colons to separate the row data.

    Interesting method of doing it.

    Edit: Windows 7 version:

    a59CTDx.png0HtaVQb.png

    Abracadaniel on
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    mightyjongyomightyjongyo Sour Crrm East Bay, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    Haha man my wife's workplace is the worst.

    They wanted this manual but it was still in the draft stages because of missing and incorrect information, so she sends them a draft, stressing that this is a draft and is not ready for release.

    Two weeks later she finds out from tech support that someone had bypassed the process (she is supposed to give the final order for release) and scanned a printed version of the draft (which was given as a PDF, btw) and uploaded it as a release.

    It was probably one of the dumbass PMs at her workplace who was getting hounded by a customer for not having manuals for their product (this is a common occurrence, and it happens because they don't tell her department that they need a manual until the product is already out in the wild).

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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    Thanks smart hero, gonna try that.

    Ya I cant do the find/replace because this is for site content that has commas all over it. It would screw up my import.

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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    Sweet. Ya that worked awesome.

    Hopefully this idea pans out. Could save me weeks of work

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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    monsterror wrote: »
    Adding a smiley to your email telling me to do something that you should be doing will not make me do it. It will only make you look condescending.

    "These five users need access set up."
    "Ok, I've got that done for you. Here are the credentials they will all use."
    "And you communicated that to the users, right? :) "
    "No, fuck you. You asked for them to be created, you're the account manager, that is your job."

    Dude, you complain constantly about your job.
    Let's find you something you LIKE doing, because I'm sure we can.

    The Bay Area has a huge need for people who do what you do.
    Send me your resume, I can see if we have anything... if not, there are tons of places around here that would probably be a good fit.

    nevillexmassig1.png
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    Also, giving my tech talk for the entire company in 12 minutes.
    "How Video Games are Tested"

    Focusing on Blizzard's process and how my team improved their process. Should be pretty fun.

    nevillexmassig1.png
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    monsterrormonsterror HEY ASSBUTT Registered User regular
    neville wrote: »
    monsterror wrote: »
    Adding a smiley to your email telling me to do something that you should be doing will not make me do it. It will only make you look condescending.

    "These five users need access set up."
    "Ok, I've got that done for you. Here are the credentials they will all use."
    "And you communicated that to the users, right? :) "
    "No, fuck you. You asked for them to be created, you're the account manager, that is your job."

    Dude, you complain constantly about your job.
    Let's find you something you LIKE doing, because I'm sure we can.

    The Bay Area has a huge need for people who do what you do.
    Send me your resume, I can see if we have anything... if not, there are tons of places around here that would probably be a good fit.

    I've pretty much decided that the only way I will ever get out of Texas is if someone pays for my travel. With my current skill set, I don't see that happening any time soon.

    But I will send it over sometime later just in case!

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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    monsterror wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    monsterror wrote: »
    Adding a smiley to your email telling me to do something that you should be doing will not make me do it. It will only make you look condescending.

    "These five users need access set up."
    "Ok, I've got that done for you. Here are the credentials they will all use."
    "And you communicated that to the users, right? :) "
    "No, fuck you. You asked for them to be created, you're the account manager, that is your job."

    Dude, you complain constantly about your job.
    Let's find you something you LIKE doing, because I'm sure we can.

    The Bay Area has a huge need for people who do what you do.
    Send me your resume, I can see if we have anything... if not, there are tons of places around here that would probably be a good fit.

    I've pretty much decided that the only way I will ever get out of Texas is if someone pays for my travel. With my current skill set, I don't see that happening any time soon.

    But I will send it over sometime later just in case!

    What's your skillset? And where in Texas?

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    monsterrormonsterror HEY ASSBUTT Registered User regular
    Currently, I support my company's API. Basically, I don't know/remember how to actually program, so I just support people with our data and SOAP/REST formatting issues.

    But I also support our CRM integration, so I know how to admin SalesForce environments (mostly), as well as MS Dynamics, and Oracle CRMs. That's the thing I think I might actually be able to get a new job doing. The only issue is that I don't have the necessary certifications (yet).

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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    monsterror wrote: »
    Currently, I support my company's API. Basically, I don't know/remember how to actually program, so I just support people with our data and SOAP/REST formatting issues.

    But I also support our CRM integration, so I know how to admin SalesForce environments (mostly), as well as MS Dynamics, and Oracle CRMs. That's the thing I think I might actually be able to get a new job doing. The only issue is that I don't have the necessary certifications (yet).

    Pretty sure we'd hire someone for that and are looking for more technical/cs people who can do exactly that.

    Also my tech talk -- "How Video Games are Tested" -- went really well.
    6 people came by since to tell me it was awesome and had a lot of questions during it.

    wooo :D

    nevillexmassig1.png
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    Slacker71Slacker71 subgenius RentonRegistered User regular
    Offer for the position in Everett should be coming on Friday.

    I am getting so nervous, as I only have one day left on my Microsoft contract position.

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    monsterrormonsterror HEY ASSBUTT Registered User regular
    Oh and @JoeUser I am in Austin, the only place in Texas I would willingly live.

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    DeadfallDeadfall I don't think you realize just how rich he is. In fact, I should put on a monocle.Registered User regular
    I got a call back from a place I interviewed at, a job I really want. He left a voice mail to return his call.

    Cautiously optimistic.....jobs don't call you asking for a return call just to say "lolnope" right? Right?

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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    2 things interesting have happened over the past few days here

    The company has ordered a plant wide mandate of no more cussing in the plant. Telling a bunch of grizzly old steel mill workers they can't say "fuck" when something goes wrong is like telling a fish it can't swim. Nobody knows how they are going to punish people if they are caught cussing or if they are even able to. But it's been fun to test the limits so far

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    Slacker71Slacker71 subgenius RentonRegistered User regular
    yeah, the vast majority of my rejections come via e-mail. Most employers don't like giving bad news.

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    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    The other thing is legal and on second thought I probably shouldn't say much about it since the state police are involved

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    JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    Spent all day working on JIRA, didn't go too badly in the end. Now on to Saturday where I need to give a presentation about IT Security and Data Protection ... yay.

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    QuantumTurkQuantumTurk Registered User regular
    2 things interesting have happened over the past few days here

    The company has ordered a plant wide mandate of no more cussing in the plant. Telling a bunch of grizzly old steel mill workers they can't say "fuck" when something goes wrong is like telling a fish it can't swim. Nobody knows how they are going to punish people if they are caught cussing or if they are even able to. But it's been fun to test the limits so far

    You should already be in good form do to your kids.
    *Drop something on toe* "Son of a biscuit fornicating lint licker!"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFVrtjUmz7c

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    monsterrormonsterror HEY ASSBUTT Registered User regular
    So, for some reason, my parents decided to give me the first name of Michael-Scott. I've just gone by Scott for my entire life.

    But when I got this job, the guy who actually got me the job was already named Scott, and we were in the same department. So, I was going to just answer the phones with Michael. But I couldn't do that, because there was already a Michael, too.

    So now, I have to answer the phones by saying "Thank you for calling Customer Support. This is Michael-Scott, how can I help you?"

    "Michael Scott?! Like from The Office?!"

    Luckily, the number of times I've heard this stupid joke has dropped from once a day to about once a week, but it is still completely dumb and unoriginal.

    I'm half-tempted to add something to my internal signature, saying that if you make that stupid joke, then I'm going to block your email.

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    A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    edited February 2013
    Yesterday, IT sends out an email telling us that the cad system (Computer Aided Dispatch) would be taken down for maintenance starting at 10am, expect at least 2 hours downtime.

    For those 2 hours, calls are taken and dispatched using fucking index cards.


    You fuckers just got a 10% raise. How about you come in when it's not the middle of the day so I'm not passing fucking notes to my radio guys about the goddamned armed robbery going on right this second.


    A Dabble Of Thelonius on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited February 2013
    Last night, as I was wrapping up everything at the mobile department before heading home I encountered an annoying and evidently impatient customer. Without saying a word he walked into my department, pulled a laptop from his bag and (without even responding to my getting of "anything I can do for you sir?") used it to sweep the paperwork and business cards I was working with off my desk. He then just opened the computer to some webpage and pointed at it.

    Annoyed, I curtly told him that I couldn't help with whatever his technical issue was since I work entirely in the phone department (pointing to the hanging sign with 10" letters on it) and led him to the nearby EasyTech desk (with the 24" letters).

    Apparently he had some kind of virus since he'd turned down our offer to install a security suite on his machine when we sold it to him. He was sure that it was the government messing with his computer. He was also foreign which might explain his initial point-and-grunt method of communication. I'm glad I don't work technical support some days.

    TankHammer on
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    lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    ohmygod.

    i'm going to have an email signature.

    i'm going to have a job title.

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    edited February 2013
    I managed to break two teacher's computers today

    one magically fixed itself after I booted into the wrong network boot environment after an hour of waiting.

    The second one was already having random restarts before I got there and as I was troubleshooting it just died on me. I figure its the HDD because of reasons, so I tell her I'll bring a new one to her tomorrow morning because god forbid we have any tools/parts at our school sites.

    Then as I am driving away I remember that I have two fresh and ready HDDs, that I was going to use on just upgrading some other computers that I never got to, in my bag.

    whooops.jpg

    I am the best at IT

    Kadith on
    zkHcp.jpg
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    Deadfall wrote: »
    I got a call back from a place I interviewed at, a job I really want. He left a voice mail to return his call.

    Cautiously optimistic.....jobs don't call you asking for a return call just to say "lolnope" right? Right?

    I've had it happen before. Depends on the place.

    Junpei wrote: »
    Spent all day working on JIRA, didn't go too badly in the end. Now on to Saturday where I need to give a presentation about IT Security and Data Protection ... yay.


    Depends on what you're doing. We have a ton of customizations that product management wants, so yeah.

    nevillexmassig1.png
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    Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    2 things interesting have happened over the past few days here

    The company has ordered a plant wide mandate of no more cussing in the plant. Telling a bunch of grizzly old steel mill workers they can't say "fuck" when something goes wrong is like telling a fish it can't swim. Nobody knows how they are going to punish people if they are caught cussing or if they are even able to. But it's been fun to test the limits so far

    haha oh man, i bet this is going to go over real well

    sounds exactly like a rule some stupid bean counter who probably never actually worked on the floor of the plant would come up with

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    AshcroftAshcroft LOL The PayloadRegistered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    What do you do?!

    Insurance, sales and service.

    It's mostly just boring, but a few times a week you'll get to speak to someone insane. After nearly 10 years (fucking kill me) doing it, it all just sort of washes over me now, but that screaming lady was actually impressive. She wasn't even being nasty or hurling abuse or anything, she was just all volume. I almost laughed at one point, because she mentioned she was unemployed. Geez lady, how can someone as reasonable as you not find work? Having trouble with the interviews? Scream louder.

    ZD98Zka.png
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Idiot Coworker likes to drop this gem quite often

    "Are you signing in from an iPhone or a smart pad?"

    Besides the fact that iPhones are not the only kind of smart phone, a smart pad?

    No, I'm using a stupid pad. Does that make a difference?

    WORDS MATTER, DUMMY

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    AshcroftAshcroft LOL The PayloadRegistered User regular
    The Smart Pad sounds like one of those Leapster consoles where you can make a still image of Winnie the Pooh grab another still image of some balloons.

    ZD98Zka.png
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Sheri wrote: »
    Idiot Coworker likes to drop this gem quite often

    "Are you signing in from an iPhone or a smart pad?"

    Besides the fact that iPhones are not the only kind of smart phone, a smart pad?

    No, I'm using a stupid pad. Does that make a difference?

    WORDS MATTER, DUMMY

    Ugh. That would annoy me so much but I would probably never actually try to correct him because my level of intensity would be disproportionate to the severity of the problem.

    I'm waging my own little private war against people who call all smartphones and tablets by their Apple Corporation equivalent's brand-name.

This discussion has been closed.