Test Tube Burgs

SenorTacos

Man and science has finally gone too far. They grew a burger in a lab.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvglSdkw3Cs

The 5-ounce "cultured beef" burger was constructed from 20,000 protein strands grown from cow stem cells. The strands were compiled over the weekend and removed from a deep freezer on Monday. It cost $325,000 to produce, and was financed entirely by Google co-founder Sergey Brin. For Post, today's tasting marks the culmination of five years of research.

Source

Hobnail

Eat the rich

Beasteh

feed the meat

WeedLordVegeta

5 ozs can't be called a burger, YAWNZO

Kochikens

thought this thread was Tube testing something

Tube

This is something that could genuinely change the world.

Rhesus Positive

Test tubes seem more appropriate for growing hot dogs.

Moriveth

I'd eat a test tube burger. If it was indistinguishable from a regular burger, well, why not?

Kochikens

id rather eat lab-grown meat than bugs


and in 100 years we won't be eating cows thats for sure

DirtyDirtyVagrant

Yeah. Next they need to just figure out how to culture fat so they can get some proper meat/fat composition in that patty. It looks dry as hell.

JayKaos

I can't wait for there to be big ol' racks of ground beef growing in factories somewhere. Wonder if it'll end up being more efficient than raising cows.

Jasconius

yes but does it have a bun made of a pretzel?

get your shit together, science

Antimatter

spoiler alert that meat is actually people

Moriveth

Jasconius wrote: »

yes but does it have a bun made of a pretzel?

get your shit together, science

Those wendy's pretzel buns are not good at all.

Jasconius

Moriveth wrote: »

Jasconius wrote: »

yes but does it have a bun made of a pretzel?

get your shit together, science

Those wendy's pretzel buns are not good at all.

oh trust me

i am aware

Shorty

I think it's weird how some people become so rich their privilege loops back around and they're willing to pay fat sacks of cash money for the right to be guinea pigs

Chincymcchilla

Moriveth wrote: »

Jasconius wrote: »

yes but does it have a bun made of a pretzel?

get your shit together, science

Those wendy's pretzel buns are not good at all.

If you ever find a burger restaurant that does real pretzel buns

Do not let your wendy's experience dissuade you

Tube

Shorty wrote: »

I think it's weird how some people become so rich their privilege loops back around and they're willing to pay fat sacks of cash money for the right to be guinea pigs

I put it to you that the right to be a guinea pig is not why Sergei Brin spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on this.

Moriveth

Chincymcchilla wrote: »

Moriveth wrote: »

Jasconius wrote: »

yes but does it have a bun made of a pretzel?

get your shit together, science

Those wendy's pretzel buns are not good at all.

If you ever find a burger restaurant that does real pretzel buns

Do not let your wendy's experience dissuade you

Oh, I'm sure legit pretzel buns are great.

Atheraal

Antimatter wrote: »

spoiler alert those people are actually meat

lostwords

This is pretty cool! I would chow down on clone burgs, for sure. I mean, as long as you put bacon, a sunny side up egg, blue cheese, and BBQ sauce on it. Maybe a pineapple slice as well

TankHammer

Antimatter wrote: »

spoiler alert that meat is actually people

Now the real question:

Who would eat test-tube-grown human meat if it were offered? I know I'd be pretty damn curious!

Beasteh

A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

"Good evening,'' it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?'' It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them.

Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

"Something off the shoulder perhaps?'' suggested the animal, "Braised in a white wine sauce?''

"Er, your shoulder?'' said Arthur in a horrified whisper.

"But naturally my shoulder, sir,'' mooed the animal contentedly, "nobody else's is mine to offer.''

Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal's shoulder appreciatively.

"Or the rump is very good,'' murmured the animal. "I've been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good meat there.'' It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud. It swallowed the cud again.

"Or a casserole of me perhaps?'' it added.

"You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?'' whispered Trillian to Ford.

"Me?'' said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, "I don't mean anything.''

"That's absolutely horrible,'' exclaimed Arthur, "the most revolting thing I've ever heard.''

"What's the problem Earthman?'' said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump.

"I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to,'' said Arthur, "it's heartless.''

"Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten,'' said Zaphod.

"That's not the point,'' Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright,'' he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ...''

The Universe raged about him in its death throes.

"I think I'll just have a green salad,'' he muttered.

"May I urge you to consider my liver?'' asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months.''

"A green salad,'' said Arthur emphatically.

"A green salad?'' said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.

"Are you going to tell me,'' said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?''

"Well,'' said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am.''

It managed a very slight bow.

"Glass of water please,'' said Arthur.

"Look,'' said Zaphod, "we want to eat, we don't want to make a meal of the issues. Four rare steaks please, and hurry. We haven't eaten in five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years.''

The animal staggered to its feet. It gave a mellow gurgle.

"A very wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good,'' it said, "I'll just nip off and shoot myself.''

He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur.

"Don't worry, sir,'' he said, "I'll be very humane.''

It waddled unhurriedly off into the kitchen.

A matter of minutes later the waiter arrived with four huge steaming steaks. Zaphod and Ford wolfed straight into them without a second's hesitation. Trillian paused, then shrugged and started into hers.

Arthur stared at his feeling slightly ill.

"Hey, Earthman,'' said Zaphod with a malicious grin on the face that wasn't stuffing itself, "what's eating you?''

And the band played on.

SCREECH OF THE FARG

that some kind of vegan propaganda story

TheySlashThem

always burgin'

mcp

Now I want a burger for lunch.

Hunter

I'm cool with artificial meat, but I was hoping for something more sci-fi freak show. Like warehouses full of headless, brainless cow husks being farmed for ribeyes or something.

Jasconius

Hunter wrote: »

I'm cool with artificial meat, but I was hoping for something more sci-fi freak show. Like warehouses full of headless, brainless cow husks being farmed for ribeyes or something.

how do we know the petri dish isn't just a facade?

Maximum

For $325,000 I hope Sergey at least gets to eat it.

TrippyJing

I'll have some infant meat hominid, please.

Centipede Damascus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezEMnzmDYZU

Jasconius

i have to say

$325k for this kind of research...

that.. doesn't really seem that expensive for what it yielded and what it could mean long term. Sergey wipes his ass with that per diem

Hunter

Jasconius wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

I'm cool with artificial meat, but I was hoping for something more sci-fi freak show. Like warehouses full of headless, brainless cow husks being farmed for ribeyes or something.

how do we know the petri dish isn't just a facade?

I hope it's like that scene from Blade 3 where they have vacuum packed cows barely alive hanging in a huge warehouse and they just carve some meat off them and feed them intravenously to keep regenerating the parts.

Munkus Beaver

Removed from a deep freezer? Gordon Ramsay would be furious.

DirtyDirtyVagrant

Hunter wrote: »

Jasconius wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

I'm cool with artificial meat, but I was hoping for something more sci-fi freak show. Like warehouses full of headless, brainless cow husks being farmed for ribeyes or something.

how do we know the petri dish isn't just a facade?

I hope it's like that scene from Blade 3 where they have vacuum packed cows barely alive hanging in a huge warehouse and they just carve some meat off them and feed them intravenously to keep regenerating the parts.

That is horrifying.

Kevin Crist

Antimatter wrote: »

spoiler alert that meat is actually people

Hunter

DirtyDirtyVagrant wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

Jasconius wrote: »

Hunter wrote: »

I'm cool with artificial meat, but I was hoping for something more sci-fi freak show. Like warehouses full of headless, brainless cow husks being farmed for ribeyes or something.

how do we know the petri dish isn't just a facade?

I hope it's like that scene from Blade 3 where they have vacuum packed cows barely alive hanging in a huge warehouse and they just carve some meat off them and feed them intravenously to keep regenerating the parts.

That is horrifying.

Blade 3 wasn't that bad. It had Patton Oswalt as a nerdy tech making anti-vampire weapons, Ryan Reynolds was funny, and Triple H as a vampire.


Or do you mean the cow husks being kept in limbo and farmed for parts?

Maximum

Munkus Beaver wrote: »

Removed from a deep freezer? Gordon Ramsay would be furious.

It's not frozen. It's fresh frozen.

Bucketman

Get it juicy like a meat patty should be, make it taste like meat, make sure it gives the same benefits, and I'm sold. Hell I like cows well enough

DirtyDirtyVagrant

Ryan Reynolds...

*drools*

Donovan Puppyfucker

This seems like the kind of thing my brain just goes 'nope' at.

Like treated sewage water for drinking water.

I know it's been filtered and processed and cleaned and such that it's basically indistinguishable from rainwater, but my brain still says no way hombre.