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[TRENCHES] Thursday, August 22, 2013 - Spreadsheet

GethGeth LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited August 2013 in The Penny Arcade Hub
Spreadsheet


Spreadsheet
http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/spreadsheet

Landing the dream job?

Anonymous

All my young life I had told my parents that I was one day going to make my living playing video games. Little did anyone know, one day would be quite sooner than expected.

My mom befriended a receptionist for a local games developer at a cub scout training camp who invited me to go and have a look at how they made games. I checked out their website to learn about the company before going in, and like many pre-2000 websites, it was a train-wreck with missing images and no recent content to speak of.

Visiting with the developers, artists, and planners to see the magic behind the making fulfilled all my boyhood dreams. At one point the CEO dropped by to see how I liked everything and I flippantly remarked how badly their website sucked. At 16, I had no commercial website experience, but I had made scads of my own sites and those were better than theirs by far. The CEO liked my work and a deal was struck, I came onboard to work under one of the designers building their website and worked on the testing crew playing games in my off website time.

At 16 years old, being a game tester made me a veritable rock star in the circles that I ran in. But after the website had been modernized and updated with current information (the one triple A title we had been testing out the door) there was a total wasteland of great games to test and the shine was off the apple.

Nothing will make you seek greener pastures quicker than spending an 8 hour shift playing a bowling game non-stop to make certain that there aren’t issues with music playback over a marathon gaming session.

The music for the game was under license so the publisher wouldn’t provide us with any permanent audio assets until the final stages of production. A helpful developer dropped in a 20 second loop from the circus classic “Entry of the Gladiators” (look it up) as a placeholder for the music so that we could test playback…

8 HOURS and turning the “music” off was NOT an option. Sufficeth to say, I didn’t stick with testing long, and I hate bowling games to this day. I don’t make my living testing games, but for two years or so in my young life, I lived the dream.


Geth on

Posts

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    I think Trenches is ultimately a cautionary tale to never work in QA lest you end up with a coworker like Isaac.

    YL9WnCY.png
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    JohnnyricoMCJohnnyricoMC Registered User regular
    Well, at least Isaac is honest about his willingness to betray.

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    GilhelmiGilhelmi Registered User regular
    Ah, the pre-2000s. Those were the glory years when any kid could do well because they knew how to make websites. I remember them fondly. For you younger ones. In those days you had to know HTML because, none of the programs, where you could "drag and drop" objects on the page, were around yet. I was lucky enough to go to a school that had a good tech department that had classes on most of this.

    Sadly, those days are gone. Anyone can now maintain a professional web-site, all you have to do is drag and drop.

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    zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    Getting the job you want is one thing, wanting the job you got, is a far greater achievement.

    When I was in high school I wanted to be a computer programmer and game designer. College will take a dream and an idea, and break that shit into pieces. I do construction and facilities maintanence for the government, and I've never been happier. It's wierd how things turn out.

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    RottonappleRottonapple Registered User regular
    Entry of the Gladiators? That's like the sound track to hell or something.

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    Angry_SamoanAngry_Samoan Now with 20% more mange... Registered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    I think Trenches is ultimately a cautionary tale to never work in QA lest you end up with a coworker like Isaac.

    I agree, but this can also apply to other job areas as well. In the thread for "Amelioration", I discussed the different categories of Contract Attorneys that a friend of mine devised, and I think that system applies to jobs like QA testing. Actually, I think it applies to any temporary assignment, no matter how long term it is, where you have to deal with others in the same position as you and where there is a chance to getting promoted into a permanent position. There's something about that potential "carrot on a stick" of a promotion to get some real fun actions and reactions from those in "Temping Hell". From what I hear, that still goes on among Contract Attorneys, even though next to nobody gets a full time promotion with a firm from doing that type of work anymore, although there are various reasons for that.

    Also, I like how Cora is using "betrayed" to describe Gwen's promotion, when Cora tried her best to get out of the dungeon herself using some bullshit calendar system and pizza parties to get projects done on time. Haha... Welcome to "Category 3", Cora...

    "The history of all sports is to cheat whenever possible."- Tony Kornheiser
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    GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    I think Trenches is ultimately a cautionary tale to never work in QA lest you end up with a coworker like Isaac.

    Also, I like how Cora is using "betrayed" to describe Gwen's promotion, when Cora tried her best to get out of the dungeon herself using some bullshit calendar system and pizza parties to get projects done on time. Haha... Welcome to "Category 3", Cora...

    Cora is just as willing to screw over and sell out her co-workers as Isaac, she just usually has delusional self-righteous motives while Isaac is more unrepentantly out for himself and himself alone.

    I wouldn't want to work with any of these people.

    But it's amusing that both Cora and Isaac would characterize Gwen getting herself promoted as a "betrayal" when they've both been trying to climb out of the basement themselves by hook or crook.

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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited August 2013
    Yeah. This is a weird perception problem that just shows us how broken these people are. She "betrayed" them by doing her work well enough to be promoted? Unless there's some big reveal that she took credit for someone's work or threw everyone under the bus, she just did what every single employee tries to do: succeed and be recognized.

    I guess that's what we're supposed to see about the characters, though. They so fundamentally misunderstand employment that someone doing their job well feels like a betrayal. I've seen this weird mentality in teams of lower-level employees. The entire team functions as one in their failure.

    Darkewolfe on
    What is this I don't even.
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    NightslyrNightslyr Registered User regular
    Gilhelmi wrote: »
    Ah, the pre-2000s. Those were the glory years when any kid could do well because they knew how to make websites. I remember them fondly. For you younger ones. In those days you had to know HTML because, none of the programs, where you could "drag and drop" objects on the page, were around yet. I was lucky enough to go to a school that had a good tech department that had classes on most of this.

    Sadly, those days are gone. Anyone can now maintain a professional web-site, all you have to do is drag and drop.

    Real pros still write HTML.

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    Warlock82Warlock82 Never pet a burning dog Registered User regular
    God I still remember those old websites. No one seemed to know shit about designing websites back then. Now there are actually contractors they can hire out to do the work for them.

    I don't get why you couldn't use the music yet though. Like, I realize they didn't have the "final" track yet, but surely they could have put *something* in there more representative of what the game's track will be. But this sounds pretty old so maybe it predates the era of widespread digital music availability (not necessarily pirated music, but just MP3s in general... midis were all the rage back then though).

    Switch: 2143-7130-1359 | 3DS: 4983-4927-6699 | Steam: warlock82 | PSN: Warlock2282
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    The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    ...I want to meet the guy who wrote that story. I want to meet him so I can troll the shit out of him. By engaging him in normal conversation, but at random points end a sentence by quickly and quietly going "doot doot doo-doo doot doo-doo doot doo-doot". And see how long it takes for him to snap and try to murder me with a shoe.

    He may admit to hating bowling games, but you just gotta know that song has also damaged him psychologically as well.

    "The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Nightslyr wrote: »
    Gilhelmi wrote: »
    Ah, the pre-2000s. Those were the glory years when any kid could do well because they knew how to make websites. I remember them fondly. For you younger ones. In those days you had to know HTML because, none of the programs, where you could "drag and drop" objects on the page, were around yet. I was lucky enough to go to a school that had a good tech department that had classes on most of this.

    Sadly, those days are gone. Anyone can now maintain a professional web-site, all you have to do is drag and drop.

    Real pros still write HTML.

    Real pros set up a CMS and walk away.

    What is this I don't even.
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    inafieldinafield Vancouver, CanadaRegistered User new member
    Entry of the Gladiators? Julius has a very unfortunate last name... :D
    Darkewolfe wrote: »
    Nightslyr wrote: »
    Gilhelmi wrote: »
    Ah, the pre-2000s. Those were the glory years when any kid could do well because they knew how to make websites. I remember them fondly. For you younger ones. In those days you had to know HTML because, none of the programs, where you could "drag and drop" objects on the page, were around yet. I was lucky enough to go to a school that had a good tech department that had classes on most of this.

    Sadly, those days are gone. Anyone can now maintain a professional web-site, all you have to do is drag and drop.

    Real pros still write HTML.

    Real pros set up a CMS and walk away.

    Real pros sell the CMS, add-ons, themes, support, and implementation.

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    Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Demon Hunter for Hire Time RiftRegistered User regular
    inafield wrote: »
    Real pros sell the CMS, add-ons, themes, support, and implementation.

    This.

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    AsharadAsharad Registered User regular
    Warlock82 wrote: »
    God I still remember those old websites. No one seemed to know shit about designing websites back then.


    Nobody did because it was all brand new.

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    DraxoDraxo Registered User regular
    Is there anyone in this comic that is likeable?

    Right now the bat guy seems to be the best guy there. And he hangs from ceilings.

    Any isn't Cora up there anyway? Considering the position she's in its pretty insane she's down in the cellar.

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    CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Remember when websites had unskippable splash pages?

    "If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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    fortyforty Registered User regular
    Geth wrote: »
    A helpful developer dropped in a 20 second loop from the circus classic “Entry of the Gladiators” (look it up)
    No.

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    Angry_SamoanAngry_Samoan Now with 20% more mange... Registered User regular
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Cora is just as willing to screw over and sell out her co-workers as Isaac, she just usually has delusional self-righteous motives while Isaac is more unrepentantly out for himself and himself alone.

    Don't even get me started about Cora's twisted sense of self-righteousness...

    Some game developers want to hose a bunch of strangers playing an MMORPG? In comes Cora to leak everything to the public.

    Q wants to potentially fuck over Anders' legacy, for the sake of extra profits, by adding apocryphal material to a game based on Anders' life's work? And that game, lute playing Sloths and everything, is also licensed by Anders (which makes all parts the game seem like they are approved material)? Cora does nothing in response. Nice.

    "The history of all sports is to cheat whenever possible."- Tony Kornheiser
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    Angry_SamoanAngry_Samoan Now with 20% more mange... Registered User regular
    Draxo wrote: »
    Is there anyone in this comic that is likeable?

    Right now the bat guy seems to be the best guy there. And he hangs from ceilings.

    Any isn't Cora up there anyway? Considering the position she's in its pretty insane she's down in the cellar.

    Cora decided to side-step what her actual job is supposed to be, created a bullshit job for herself where all she apparently would have to do is set up arbitrary deadlines for others to do their work and then write X's on a calendar and call pizza places for delivery orders every week or so. I can't see that con game lasting long before Q or someone else gets wise to it and sends her back into the dungeon. And, maybe with Gwen's promotion, we may see that Cora was dumped back into the dungeon to clear up space for what would become Gwen's desk. Q did say they had a space ready to go for someone when he announced Gwen's promotion. It might have been the desk Cora commandeered.

    Also, I don't think most of these characters are supposed to be likeable, especially Isaac, Cora and Marley. After all, those three are supposed to get dumped on on a pretty regular basis. It's hard to do that, and make it funny, if the characters are likeable. After all, Charlie Brown got dumped on repeatedly, and he was a very likeable character. But that would sometimes turn "Peanuts" into a bit of a depressing comic. It's much easier to bring the jokes when an unlikeable character gets crapped on all of the time instead of a likeable character.

    That said, my favorite character so far is Cora's father. To me, he is a cross between George RR Martin and Hunter S Thompson.

    "The history of all sports is to cheat whenever possible."- Tony Kornheiser
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