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[PA Comic] Monday, May 5, 2014 - Hearthboned

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited May 2014 in The Penny Arcade Hub
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  • UnholyKyonoUnholyKyono Registered User regular
    Pretty accurate description of Hearthstone.

  • RottonappleRottonapple Registered User regular
    I think I played against this deck the other day.

  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    I suspect that in Yu-Gi-Oh, those cards would be unplayably weak.

  • rembrandtqeinsteinrembrandtqeinstein Registered User regular
    The facial expression on the priest card is hilarious, I wonder if Buddy Christ was the inspiration

  • YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    edited May 2014
    The facial expression on the priest card is hilarious, I wonder if Buddy Christ was the inspiration
    I'd say it has to be, about the only thing different is the smile.
    300px-Buddy_christ.jpgbbkvc4u2mfpw.jpg


    YoungFrey on
  • MoganMogan Registered User regular
    I just started playing Hearthstone. I guess I have some stuff to look forward to. : p

  • FandeathisFandeathis Registered User regular
    The hunter one is spot on!

    You fuck wit' Die Antwoord, you fuck wit' da army.
  • SwashbucklerXXSwashbucklerXX Swashbucklin' Canuck Registered User regular
    So when your opponent draws a card, do you win a game of Hearthstone or do you just win Hearthstone forever?

    Want to find me on a gaming service? I'm SwashbucklerXX everywhere.
  • ekbaldrekbaldr Registered User new member
    This captures the essence of Hearthstone so well, it's getting laminated and then straight on my wall!

    "Good, but not great"
    - H. Simpsons
  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    This is a truthy comic.

  • JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    strong comic. real strong.

    this is a discord of mostly PA people interested in fighting games: https://discord.gg/DZWa97d5rz

    we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
  • Dungeon QuestingDungeon Questing Registered User regular
    Haha, literally the reason I play priest is because of their "Healon Drah" combos

  • metaphistmetaphist FLRegistered User regular
    I've never played Hearthstone, but this was still hilarious.

    as-siggy-blank-left.jpg
  • akl3inakl3in Registered User regular
    Especially that chain heal one... Priest anyone?

  • Gamer8585Gamer8585 Registered User regular
    I know the cards in the comic are fake and trying to make a satirical point, but goddamn I wouldn't be surprised if some of the Hunter decks I played against had dropped that card without looking. It seems like when they get more than 3 mana they just drop beasts with OP abilities that can drop me onto the defensive real quick. I don't always lose, if I get a Flamestrike in at the right time I can seriously ruin their day, and sometimes catch some momentum and squeak out a win.

    The comic dose also pose an interesting mechanic for the game: Persistent field effects. That could change up the dynamics of the game, but of course they would have to be tested really well to make sure they weren't OP.

  • Crazy RobotCrazy Robot Registered User regular
    Man I agree with Jerry that, as a mechanic Secrets, are maddening. Give us a Acidic Swamp Ooze-like neutral that destroys secrets. This shit is gonna get out of hand once they introduce more secrets to the game.

    3DS Friend Code: 1478-4479-7610
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    Steam: Alien Six
  • NukeninNukenin Registered User new member
    I can just envision that last card being revealed in the Secret animation, when all you were doing was playing a simple Healon Drah or Beast Mode.

    You will be so thrilled you may cry out the very name of the card, or at least some pithy expression utilizing part of same.

  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    It isn't just that secrets themselves are maddening, but in addition to that, I feel many of them are too cheap in their cost to get on the table.

    For example: The Hunter Explosive-trap secret only costs like 2 to play, but it has the power to clear the board early game. It has equal devastation as consecrate, and yet Consecrate costs 4 to play.

  • MenasorMenasor Registered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    It isn't just that secrets themselves are maddening, but in addition to that, I feel many of them are too cheap in their cost to get on the table.

    For example: The Hunter Explosive-trap secret only costs like 2 to play, but it has the power to clear the board early game. It has equal devastation as consecrate, and yet Consecrate costs 4 to play.

    Secrets get extra budget due to the fact that the opponent determines when to trigger it (sometimes can't be helped or often unknowingly) but the point is that the caster doesn't necessarily get the effect when he wants it. They must also all cost the same for a class or you'd know what they are based on their cost, which limits what they can do to some extent.

    In short, they're annoying to both play and play against.

    Destiny PS4: Earthen1
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited May 2014
    I get that secrets can be frustrating to play around, even more so for players who aren't at the experience level where they've memorized all the secrets and what triggers them, but in the current meta secrets aren't that great. You'll rarely see them outside of hunter decks focused around keeping up Eaglehorn Bow charges.

    I don't know of any competitive paladin decks that use secrets. There really isn't much of a place for 1-drops in the paladin meta, and certainly not for their secrets.

    Mage secrets have come and gone, but mages are pretty damn low in the meta right now, and the decks that are in the meat don't really use secrets. Mage secrets were a bigger deal before the freeze spell and pyro nerfs in the freeze/stall/double pyro decks, and even then they were usually just running things like Ice Block and Ice Barrier to help with the stall, and those are two of the least frustrating secrets since they don't kill your minions or copy a big minion you just played or anything like that.

    Edit:
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    It isn't just that secrets themselves are maddening, but in addition to that, I feel many of them are too cheap in their cost to get on the table.

    For example: The Hunter Explosive-trap secret only costs like 2 to play, but it has the power to clear the board early game. It has equal devastation as consecrate, and yet Consecrate costs 4 to play.
    What Menasor said. Explosive Trap rarely works out to be as effective as "Consecrate for 2" since your opponent will usually trade against anything on your side before triggering it, giving you less value out of it.

    forty on
  • OddfishOddfish On opposite weeks In odd numbered monthsRegistered User regular
    I frequently laugh audibly as a direct result of the strip.

    Today, I was caused physical pain as a side effect of my uncontrollable mirth.

    Comedy mithril.

  • HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    Card games taught me something long, long ago.

    People don't care about the spirit of competition. They care about finding absurd loopholes to fuck you through.

  • NeonFishNeonFish Registered User new member
    Healon Drah would work better with straight card text. The reason being that since it creates an infinite effect you don't have to worry about silence. If the intention of the ability was to create a permanent effect that would affect the rest of the game, you could reword it so that the Battlecry includes "For the rest of the game". Another option would have Healon Drah spawn a Stealth minion with the same ability.

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Just played my game of the night, using the hunter deck.

    I felt BAD for it.

    The hunter deck is not a good thing. Even playing it... it's just bad mechanics.

    What is this I don't even.
  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    NeonFish wrote: »
    Healon Drah would work better with straight card text. The reason being that since it creates an infinite effect you don't have to worry about silence. If the intention of the ability was to create a permanent effect that would affect the rest of the game, you could reword it so that the Battlecry includes "For the rest of the game". Another option would have Healon Drah spawn a Stealth minion with the same ability.

    you're trying to make the joke too complicated, dude. It works better as is, because a lot of folks who read the comic don't play this game.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • NeonFishNeonFish Registered User new member
    I'm not trying to correct the comic. Jerry left a post where he and Mike were having a conversation on how the card should be stated in which Jerry expressed that while it was a joke card he wanted the text to be "perfect". I was merely giving my opinion how it should be worded were it to be treated like an actual card.

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    These are basically all the cards you have in your deck yet only the other person ever manages to draw.

  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Eh, I saw it after I said that, but I still hold to my opinion.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • rahkeesh2000rahkeesh2000 Registered User regular
    Blizzard just announced that the OP "play a million charge beasts" card is going to 3 mana now.

    Kinda like in this comic...

    Coincidence?

  • ShaydeShayde Kitchen Staff Supervisor MargaritavilleRegistered User regular
    Props for the Buddy Christ reference.

    Shayde

    Ex-Agent to the Stars, ex a lot of other things too.
    Pax East 2011, 2012 Veteran. 2014 now loading.
  • bencurthoysbencurthoys Registered User new member
    > The “Meta” is a market, right? Rank maps to value. It’s trying to tell me something about the character I chose, but it’s like I don’t want to hear it. I disenchant cards for all but three classes, and I’m wondering if it’s not time to try another deck. No Hunters, though. Just on principle.

    I sort of think you already know this, but I'm going to reply to your post taking it at face value.

    Imagine a massive game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, arranged as per Hearthstone's ranked play: when you win a match you gain a star, when you lose a match you lose a star, when you gain enough stars you gain a rank, and you play only against people of the same rank.

    Suppose further that for some reason (scissors are the coolest! scissors are cheap! I hear scissors are easy!) 80% of the players choose "scissors" as their first play.

    What would happen?

    Well, the 10% who picked rocks would shoot up the ranks. They'd keep on meeting people playing scissors, and keep winning, until they got past all the scissors. The 10% who picked paper would keep losing, and they'd go to the forums saying "nerf scissors" and talk about how unbalanced the game is, and about how they've chosen the paper class, and they really identify with paper, and should have a chance at winning with it. Some of them might think "if you can't beat them, join them", and switch to scissors, leading to even more scissors. And as for the scissors players, some of them, by luck, would get winning streaks (let's assume if you both play scissors you have a 50/50 chance of winning) and start to rise. When the lucky scissors players rose far enough, they'd meet all the Rock players who'd shot past them, and hit a wall. Some of them would be so committed to scissors by this point they'd just keep banging their scissors against the rocks. But when everyone you meet is playing rock, when you know the right time, the right thing to do is to switch to paper. You know, that underpowered class that scissors chopped up into little bits? Just the thing to wrap up some rocks. The better people were at switching class, they higher up they'd get, so whilst at the bottom you had a big fat band of scissors, and above that a smaller band of rocks, and above that a smaller band of paper, at the very top you'd get all sorts all mixed together, and if a top level paper player met some scissors, they'd have a think about whether that meant it was time to switch to rock, or that if everyone else is meeting scissors and switching to rock the smart thing to do might be to stay paper...

    So. Approaching Hearthstone having decided on your class in advance and that you "disenchant cards for all but three classes" is like approaching a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors and vowing only ever to play Paper. Or at the very least, saying "No Hunters, though. Just on principle" means you're never going to play scissors.

  • APODionysusAPODionysus Registered User regular
    I dont play Hearthstone, but I take it these Secret cards are akin to the Traps from MTG's Zendikar block?

    I thought they seemed cool - and from scanning the set, not OP - but I wasn't playing at the time.

    Anyway, my point is if Hearthstone has 'traps' now, fear not... your equivilant to Jace, the Mind Sculpter can't be far behind.

  • kerowynkerowyn Registered User new member
    All right. I know this is going to be a stupid question, but it's driving me nuts.

    What's the punchline behind the Healon Drah card? I feel like it's a reference to some other joke that has the format "You X and Y and X and Y." Or am I overthinking this?

  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Whenever you draw or heal, you then draw and heal, which starts an infinite loop of healing and drawing forever.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • ZythonZython Registered User regular
    edited May 2014
    I dont play Hearthstone, but I take it these Secret cards are akin to the Traps from MTG's Zendikar block?

    I thought they seemed cool - and from scanning the set, not OP - but I wasn't playing at the time.

    Anyway, my point is if Hearthstone has 'traps' now, fear not... your equivilant to Jace, the Mind Sculpter can't be far behind.

    If I'm understanding how MTG traps work (instants that are cheaper in particular circumstance?), they're more like Yu-Gi-Oh traps. They're cards that are played in advance, and can only activate on certain conditions. So in hearthstone, there are cards like:

    Explosive Trap: When your hero is attacked, deal 2 damage to all enemies.

    Currently, the only way to deal with secrets is with the spell card Flare. Which is a hunter exclusive card.

    Zython on
    Switch: SW-3245-5421-8042 | 3DS Friend Code: 4854-6465-0299 | PSN: Zaithon
    Steam: pazython
  • APODionysusAPODionysus Registered User regular
    Ironically, the original plan for MTG traps WAS to play them in advance, face down. This was changed by R&D to their current form where they are basically Instants that are cheaper (significantly so) when the 'trap is sprung'.

    So basically Secrets are what Traps originally were.

    I need to re-listen to MaRo's Zendikar podcast. I forget what the reasons wre that Traps were changed. In a way it makes more sense the way it ended up since you can have no idea a 'trap' is even coming.

    But since HS doesn't have Instants, this makes sense for them.

    But yeah. They are basically Traps.

  • GrumbleCakesGrumbleCakes Registered User new member
    What I hate is the matching this game does. Is there any?

    Decks should have a ranking or something so that when you are starting out you aren't paired with someone who has a vastly superior deck with epics and rare cards.

    That's like letting a end game gear PVP player into the starting zone to face melt noobs. It's not fun for the beginner. Why would I spend money on the 'possibility' of good cards and still have a bad experience?

    If you got a good deck, click on ranked, not casual.

  • RatherDashing89RatherDashing89 Registered User regular
    Actually, if you have a bad deck, clicked ranked, not casual. Casual doesn't have matchmaking. Ranked does. So if you're just starting out, you are far more likely to win a ranked game than a casual one. Since you can't lose ranks until higher ranks, there is literally no reason for a new player to not play ranked. Casual is mainly for experimental decks, meaning it gets most of its use by higher ranked players who don't want to lose ranks trying out something risky.

  • GrumbleCakesGrumbleCakes Registered User new member
    Huh, now that is rather odd naming convention, a little counter intuitive. Thanks for the heads up!

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Actually, if you have a bad deck, clicked ranked, not casual. Casual doesn't have matchmaking. Ranked does. So if you're just starting out, you are far more likely to win a ranked game than a casual one. Since you can't lose ranks until higher ranks, there is literally no reason for a new player to not play ranked.
    But I like the Angry Chicken icon!

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