[TRENCHES] Thursday, July 3, 2014 - Follow Your Boss
LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
Follow Your Boss
http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/follow-your-boss
Plotting Along
AnonymousSome friends of a friend were attempting to create an indie game. It was going to be a dating sim/shooter combo in which you attempt to woo an angel while demons try to kill you and her. But they needed someone to write the dialogue trees and script out the cut scenes. Since I was an aspiring writer, I was brought in on back-end pay, where any money I got was from royalties. I just wanted some experience so I went for it.
The plot was simple. You’re on a movie date, monster attacks, then some secret agents show up after you win to explain the what’s going on while acting all mysterious. After coming up with some ideas, I sent them the first draft, feeling confident in my work. And it turns out I was right - they loved the date and the cut scene. Only problem was, they now wanted to have the agents be the ones you fight.
Okay, simple enough. I rewrote the scene and sent it in. But now there was a problem. I had apparently made the agents ‘Too antagonistic.’ The whole point was the player was going to question whose side they were on and that they couldn’t be the ones who attacked the player or the angel. I asked them how to make the agents more ambiguous but they just said “Come up with something.” I gave some suggestions and they were all shot down because each one made the encounter the fault of either the player or the agents.
Eventually, I gave up and just resent them the first draft. They said it was perfect, they loved it and I never heard from them again.
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He's never really had a neck, but it checking back, his head started being completely disconnected from his body around the time of the "Snuffler & Jeff" extended side comics:
http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/im-dreaming-of-a
Here his head is planted pretty firmly on the torso.
In the next comic, the head has moved slightly, but the neckline of the shirt is drawn down to expose the lack of a neck in the expected location, but still with a bit of overlap at either the hair or chin to imply the possibility of a neck underneath entering the shirt in some sort of unseen bonus hole.
Also here's proof that that Marley should have a neck as Kurtz intended:
- http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/apocrypha
- http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/anguish
(I just made an account now so I could comment.)
SIGH.
It really has though. What the fuck is even going on here? Where is Riley's neck? Is that part of the new art style? If so, why do all the other characters have necks? Why does Cora have Raymond hands? Is it the art style? If so, why do all of the other characters have hands attached to their bodies? Everything about the design just comes off as inconsistent and ugly. I'd bet $20 that if you asked the artists about it they'd just scream something along the lines of "You just don't get it!". There's absolutely no way you can look at this comic and then one of the earlier ones in the series and say that it's better.
edit: oh and hey, let's look at the shading, particularly in panel 2. One straight diagonal line down Cora separating light and dark. What the fuck guys, I know you can do much better than that.
My uncle died from Rayman Disease, you insensitive fucks.
Started off as a case of raving rabbids, but then the infection spread up his chest before becoming full-on Rayman Disease.
You're drunk, dad, go home!
I think the comic is much better now. The drawing is sometimes inconsistent, but the pace and flow is more fun, more natural, and the characters have their own personalities and interests. When the comic started, Q was 'weird', the main guy was.... whatever, and everyone else was just "Hi! I work here!"