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[PA Comic] Wednesday, March 4, 2015 - Hands Free

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited March 2015 in The Penny Arcade Hub

image[PA Comic] Wednesday, March 4, 2015 - Hands Free

Hands Free

Hands Free

http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2015/03/04

Read the full story here


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Posts

  • JortalusJortalus Registered User regular
    This is exactly why I can't be around when people read my writing.

  • Hargaad of OmnarHargaad of Omnar New Badges? Fucking BOSS!Registered User regular
    Hmm. I'm with Gabe. If you're not illiterate, then how can you not understand the totally balanced and clearly outlined rules for initiative?
    Each player empties all money from their wallets to the middle of the table. All players roll one 6-sided die to determine nomination based on lowest roll. Once a player has been nominated, that player takes all the money from the middle of the table and goes out to the nearest supermarket. Once there, the nominated player must find an item whose price, plus tax, is within a dollar of the amount collected from the middle of the table. When the nominated player returns, the item is passed around the table and inspected by all players. The player who performs the most sexually foul act with the purchased item that causes all other players to not want to contend for initiative goes first.
    Clear. Fucking. Cut.

    Star Wars (2 separate links)
    Yelling at butts will never NOT be funny. Thanks, Psy!
    Also, Abby is awesome. Keep up with TLH because it's the tits!

    I love League of Legends, but seriously...screw you, Teemo.
  • protokiddprotokidd Registered User regular
    I actually had the same problems as Gabe has here.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Hmm. I'm with Gabe. If you're not illiterate, then how can you not understand the totally balanced and clearly outlined rules for initiative?
    Each player empties all money from their wallets to the middle of the table. All players roll one 6-sided die to determine nomination based on lowest roll. Once a player has been nominated, that player takes all the money from the middle of the table and goes out to the nearest supermarket. Once there, the nominated player must find an item whose price, plus tax, is within a dollar of the amount collected from the middle of the table. When the nominated player returns, the item is passed around the table and inspected by all players. The player who performs the most sexually foul act with the purchased item that causes all other players to not want to contend for initiative goes first.
    Clear. Fucking. Cut.

    Yeah, I get that. But general guidelines might help too, like maybe if the closest store is an Asian market than eliminate durians from the list.
    We all stand while playing now.

  • BrushwoodMuttBrushwoodMutt Registered User regular
    This sums up every time I have to show my projects to others. I know and hate that feeling...

  • LinktmLinktm Registered User regular
    Not being able to play this is my one regret about not attending PAX East this year. But, the alternative is, y'know, an ice kingdom from where there's no return.

  • Finnish_LineFinnish_Line Registered User regular
    I can't seem to load the comic on the site. Weird.

  • IncindiumIncindium Registered User regular
    Does it look like the main site totally is missing its CSS styling to anyone else?

    steam_sig.png
    Nintendo ID: Incindium
    PSN: IncindiumX
  • Hargaad of OmnarHargaad of Omnar New Badges? Fucking BOSS!Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Hmm. I'm with Gabe. If you're not illiterate, then how can you not understand the totally balanced and clearly outlined rules for initiative?
    Each player empties all money from their wallets to the middle of the table. All players roll one 6-sided die to determine nomination based on lowest roll. Once a player has been nominated, that player takes all the money from the middle of the table and goes out to the nearest supermarket. Once there, the nominated player must find an item whose price, plus tax, is within a dollar of the amount collected from the middle of the table. When the nominated player returns, the item is passed around the table and inspected by all players. The player who performs the most sexually foul act with the purchased item that causes all other players to not want to contend for initiative goes first.
    Clear. Fucking. Cut.

    Yeah, I get that. But general guidelines might help too, like maybe if the closest store is an Asian market than eliminate durians from the list.
    We all stand while playing now.

    But that's the beauty of being the nominated player who rolled the lowest number (with the option of item choice...and from what I googled, a durian is only like 5-10 USD, so there are plenty of alternative items to buy at an Asian market).
    The fact that you all took turns with the durian proves that none of you tried hard enough to make it unappealing to the others in a mini-game of one-upmanship and the rules are not to blame.
    Remember, just because you put all your cash on the table to start doesn't mean you can't use a credit card to hire a late-night street-walker.

    Star Wars (2 separate links)
    Yelling at butts will never NOT be funny. Thanks, Psy!
    Also, Abby is awesome. Keep up with TLH because it's the tits!

    I love League of Legends, but seriously...screw you, Teemo.
  • JulzildoJulzildo Registered User regular
    The main site is screwy right now. No podcast at work make Julz a dull boy.

  • ziddersroofurryziddersroofurry Registered User regular
    How do you quote people? I wanted to ask if bitcoins were an acceptable substitute for durians.

  • McFodderMcFodder Registered User regular
    After playing this at PAX Aus, I just want this to be out already.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-3944-9431-0318
    PSN / Xbox / NNID: Fodder185
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    How do you quote people? I wanted to ask if bitcoins were an acceptable substitute for durians.

    They're both highly divisive and stink if you get too close, so I don't see why not

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited March 2015
    How do you quote people? I wanted to ask if bitcoins were an acceptable substitute for durians.
    In the forum view just hit the quote button at the bottom of the post. To do it manually just wrap the text you want to quote in
    [quote="person being quoted"]blah blah[/quote]
    
    tags.

    Tofystedeth on
    steam_sig.png
  • echtogammutechtogammut Registered User regular
    I think I am old, I laughed at the comic, then spent 5 minutes obsessing about how that kid at the table probably couldn't tell Donatello from Michelangelo.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I think I am old, I laughed at the comic, then spent 5 minutes obsessing about how that kid at the table probably couldn't tell Donatello from Michelangelo.

    Easy - Donatello's early Renaissance, Michaelangelo's High Renaissance.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    I think I am old, I laughed at the comic, then spent 5 minutes obsessing about how that kid at the table probably couldn't tell Donatello from Michelangelo.

    Michael Bay made a new version of the turtles, so pretty sure that most young people who would bother to wear the shirt probably know who they are. Now even as a child of the 80s who watched the cartoon on occasion, I don't remember who's who anymore, except who April O'neil is. But I'm also not the sort of person who'd bother to wear a ninja turtles t-shirt.

    "excuse my French
    But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
    - Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
  • ziddersroofurryziddersroofurry Registered User regular
    How do you quote people? I wanted to ask if bitcoins were an acceptable substitute for durians.

    They're both highly divisive and stink if you get too close, so I don't see why not

    I've been posting under the comic this whole time because I keep forgetting it shows up here, too. >.< lol Thanks for the help.

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited March 2015
    Cambiata wrote: »
    I think I am old, I laughed at the comic, then spent 5 minutes obsessing about how that kid at the table probably couldn't tell Donatello from Michelangelo.

    Michael Bay made a new version of the turtles, so pretty sure that most young people who would bother to wear the shirt probably know who they are. Now even as a child of the 80s who watched the cartoon on occasion, I don't remember who's who anymore, except who April O'neil is. But I'm also not the sort of person who'd bother to wear a ninja turtles t-shirt.

    Let me break it down for you.

    Leonardo leads. Donatello does machines, which is a fact. Raphael is cool but rude, so we generally give him a break. Michaelangelo is a party dude.

    Cowabunga.

    Darkewolfe on
    What is this I don't even.
  • PAX_SkeletorPAX_Skeletor Melbourne, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Darkewolfe wrote: »
    Michaelangelo is a part dude.

    To be fair, they were all sort of part dude, that was the whole mutant deal. ;-)

  • echtogammutechtogammut Registered User regular
    Oh, come on... Donatello wears a purple headband. Everyone else wears red.
    */stumbles away grumbling about kids these days.

  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Oh, come on... Donatello wears a purple headband. Everyone else wears red.
    */stumbles away grumbling about kids these days.

    Are you colorblind?

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Oh, come on... Donatello wears a purple headband. Everyone else wears red.
    */stumbles away grumbling about kids these days.

    Are you colorblind?

    Referencing the comics from before the cartoon.

    What is this I don't even.
  • DaimarDaimar A Million Feet Tall of Awesome Registered User regular
    Darkewolfe wrote: »
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Oh, come on... Donatello wears a purple headband. Everyone else wears red.
    */stumbles away grumbling about kids these days.

    Are you colorblind?

    Referencing the comics from before the cartoon.

    The black and white comics?

    steam_sig.png
  • GDT1985GDT1985 Registered User regular
    The covers were in color. They all wore red.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    GDT1985 wrote: »
    The covers were in color. They all wore red.

    I thought they're "naked"?

  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    The only thing I know about the comics is that Usagi Yojimbo made a guest appearance in them. Truly, the radicalest of comics.

    "excuse my French
    But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
    - Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
  • DonnictonDonnicton Registered User regular
    edited March 2015
    Cambiata wrote: »
    I think I am old, I laughed at the comic, then spent 5 minutes obsessing about how that kid at the table probably couldn't tell Donatello from Michelangelo.

    Michael Bay made a new version of the turtles, so pretty sure that most young people who would bother to wear the shirt probably know who they are. Now even as a child of the 80s who watched the cartoon on occasion, I don't remember who's who anymore, except who April O'neil is. But I'm also not the sort of person who'd bother to wear a ninja turtles t-shirt.

    I would, if I found one.

    I found this sitting in a bin at a local Big Lots...in 2014.


    q4TpsNb.jpg


    I absolutely wear it.

    Donnicton on
  • Hargaad of OmnarHargaad of Omnar New Badges? Fucking BOSS!Registered User regular
    edited March 2015
    Donnicton wrote: »
    Cambiata wrote: »
    I think I am old, I laughed at the comic, then spent 5 minutes obsessing about how that kid at the table probably couldn't tell Donatello from Michelangelo.

    Michael Bay made a new version of the turtles, so pretty sure that most young people who would bother to wear the shirt probably know who they are. Now even as a child of the 80s who watched the cartoon on occasion, I don't remember who's who anymore, except who April O'neil is. But I'm also not the sort of person who'd bother to wear a ninja turtles t-shirt.

    I would, if I found one.

    I found this sitting in a bin at a local Big Lots...in 2014.


    q4TpsNb.jpg


    I absolutely wear it.

    Target has been selling Reptar shirts for a while...I saw it once when I didn't have my plastic with me, but goddamn if I didn't buy it the next time I was at Target with no other objective coming first.
    I had a TMNT shirt when I was a kid, and I'm sure it got given away to Goodwill once I outgrew it, but I don't care if it would look like a halter top and basically strangle my neck in trying to wear it: I would if I still had it. Nostalgia gives zero fucks about what others think, if you have or find something you cherished above all else in your youth, you're going to sport it and be damn proud of it.

    e: I'm kind of amazed at how the conversation morphed from the comic to where we're currently at.
    e2: that's also a good reason to play games sober. In an altered state, unless you know how to play the game already, you're fucked for actually figuring out how to play because tangents always happen (at least, in my own experiences).

    Hargaad of Omnar on
    Star Wars (2 separate links)
    Yelling at butts will never NOT be funny. Thanks, Psy!
    Also, Abby is awesome. Keep up with TLH because it's the tits!

    I love League of Legends, but seriously...screw you, Teemo.
  • GDT1985GDT1985 Registered User regular
    The TMNT have a current television show on Nickelodeon, it is not as good as the show from 2003, but it isn't the most awful thing on TV either. I would think the Turtles were a big enough sensation to be known even if that wasn't true though.

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    TMNT never stopped being popular with kids. For decades they've had a show on the air more often than not.

  • RatherDashing89RatherDashing89 Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure just about all 1st world kids know who the TMNT are. Most of them know Scooby Doo, for crying out loud.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2015
    I'm pretty sure just about all 1st world kids know who the TMNT are. Most of them know Scooby Doo, for crying out loud.

    Well yeah they know who he is, but do they know where?

    MichaelLC on
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