How do you all feel about people contacting you that don't fit your stated requirements? It's kind of annoying that OKC knows I'm 39 years old, yet it will show me someone who says they are looking for men between 27 and 37.
Age is a weird one anyway. I see some people that look old to me, and I find out they're my age or even younger. I was buying wine at the grocery store and the cashier looks at me and says "I'm going to need to see your ID". After I gave it to him he looked kind of confused. Turns out I'm 5 years older than him. This morning I found out a coworker is 40 when I would have guessed she was in her mid-twenties. Maybe I'm just really bad at guessing ages.
Frankly the area seems completely outside of my experience, but it's definitely at least a metro.
Also, though it seems super silly to talk about this as a person who started dating like, instantly, taking time off to specifically build relationships and habits that make you feel good about yourself is a really good idea.
Since my breakup I've tried to spend 3-4 nights a week doing something with friends, even if it's just having them over for tea or something.
Just being able to go to meetup.com and seeing more than 0 groups that sound interesting, or not staring at the same 10 faces on OKC will be an improvement over where I am now.
I've learned the importance of having friends and doing things with them, but I am still working on initiating things myself.
How do you all feel about people contacting you that don't fit your stated requirements? It's kind of annoying that OKC knows I'm 39 years old, yet it will show me someone who says they are looking for men between 27 and 37.
Age is a weird one anyway. I see some people that look old to me, and I find out they're my age or even younger. I was buying wine at the grocery store and the cashier looks at me and says "I'm going to need to see your ID". After I gave it to him he looked kind of confused. Turns out I'm 5 years older than him. This morning I found out a coworker is 40 when I would have guessed she was in her mid-twenties. Maybe I'm just really bad at guessing ages.
Yeah the age thing is annoying. There really should be a way to filter by other people's age requirements. That being said I've gotten plenty of responses and gone on quite a few dates with girls whose age requirements were older than me. But I've also had girls message me back saying I was too young for them (even some who were my same age).
And yeah I'm with you on telling someone's age. I can guess within maybe a decade range but I'm just horrible at it.
I ignore other user's age requirements almost completely. Anyone who dismisses me just because I'm two years older than their search range isn't someone I want to meet anyway. About the only time I take it into consideration is at the very low end of my search range.
Age is weird, I constantly get told that I look 5-7 years younger than I am.
I'm awful at guessing ages. Especially with Asian women.
Anyway... Lady I met today is not interested. She seemed a little tired when we first met and I wasn't skilled enough at conversation to change the mood. I wouldn't be too upset but I'm not exactly swimming in prospects on the messaging front. I am wondering if I should change my approach.
Do any of you who have had success with first meetings have advice? Maybe conversation topics to look for or avoid, good things to do or not do? Perhaps a story of a particularly good first meeting?
I think I had my age range set to 20 to 35, but I wouldn't be annoyed or anything if someone outside of that range messaged me. I think age is more important to some people though, so it depends.
I ignore other user's age requirements almost completely. Anyone who dismisses me just because I'm two years older than their search range isn't someone I want to meet anyway. About the only time I take it into consideration is at the very low end of my search range.
Age is weird, I constantly get told that I look 5-7 years younger than I am.
Yeah, I think on dating sites it's best to send out as many messages as possible to people you're interested in, even if you don't fit in their age range or you don't meet one of their criteria. What's the worst that could happen? Some people might be willing to make exceptions, especially if they see something on your profile that they really like.
I've got a date on Thursday. It's my first date with someone not my wife since Bill Clinton was president. It's like riding a bike though, right?
Sure. The seat and frame may be different, and the pedals may not work the way you expect and you might find that you have lost your sense of balance, but you'll get the hang of it eventually.
Also, I should mention that I can't ride a bike and barely have any idea what I just said. You'll be fine.
Struck a mutual like in a profile that i actually would have passed on (liked her a while back, but when i got around to trying a message a while later, didn't think there was enough material to build a message off of and walked away, but that second profile view got her to notice me and led to a mutual like). So now i was almost forced to give it a try...
Part of this is because i've really been trying to avoid opening with talks about mutual media (favorite shows, etc) unless it's off of something really targeted in their profile (one of them said "message me if you know what a "scooty puff jr." is, for instance), so profiles talking about less other stuff have a hard time inspiring a good message off of me.
I'm awful at guessing ages. Especially with Asian women.
Anyway... Lady I met today is not interested. She seemed a little tired when we first met and I wasn't skilled enough at conversation to change the mood. I wouldn't be too upset but I'm not exactly swimming in prospects on the messaging front. I am wondering if I should change my approach.
Do any of you who have had success with first meetings have advice? Maybe conversation topics to look for or avoid, good things to do or not do? Perhaps a story of a particularly good first meeting?
I think what has worked best on me is to think of conversation as an opportunity to give the other person a chance to talk about interesting things.
Focus on what they've done, what they like, what they can do, what they think is important. Then rather than thinking about how you can respond appropriately after they've said something, think about something else you'd like to know about them.
That way you get out of your own head a bit. Not to say you won't be talking about yourself at all, mind you. It will just wind up being more in response to them than out of a sense that you need to fill dead air.
I'd say things you've done make for better first meeting topics than things you like. Media in general is fun to talk about with someone who you're a bit more comfortable with, but can shut down quickly when you're talking to someone who you don't really know yet.
Most of all, be genuinely happy to be around this person. Remind yourself that if all that happens is a few hours of drinking and talking to an attractive person, it's still been a really good night.
And don't discount a first date just because it doesn't end in sloppy make-outs! My first date with one of the people I'm seeing now went okay but they seemed really standoffish at the end and I kind of thought we hadn't clicked. I sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and we got to texting back and forth a ton and they said how cute I was and it's been going great.
I've got a date on Thursday. It's my first date with someone not my wife since Bill Clinton was president. It's like riding a bike though, right?
I had my first date with anyone other than my ex a month and a half ago. It was my first date since 2004, and everything has gone really, really well so far. If anything, I've gotten much, much better at dating. Just self-confidence and the ability to be respectful to other people has been a huge help.
I had a date in 2004 too, durandal4532 . It was with a boy on the playground. :'D
Whippersnapper.
That does remind me that holy shit I can't imagine dating someone more than like 3-4 years younger than me. I feel like TAing college courses has made me think of 21 as "toddler" and adjust my acceptable ages upward.
I had a date in 2004 too, durandal4532 . It was with a boy on the playground. :'D
Whippersnapper.
That does remind me that holy shit I can't imagine dating someone more than like 3-4 years younger than me. I feel like TAing college courses has made me think of 21 as "toddler" and adjust my acceptable ages upward.
I also think this is due to a confirmation bias with regards to undergrads and how they whine at TAs. :P
I've met (outside of the interbutt scene) some very interesting and driven 21-23 year olds. However, they're usually so driven that they only want something short term, or no commitment style of relationship, which I fully endorse at that age. But for me, short-term/no-commitment isnt appealing because I'm at that phase in my life where I want to have my adventure buddy, and also be able to come home to her too on a mundane boring everyday-weekday.
I've never had a TA before. I guess because my school isn't very large?
And yeah, I'm not interested in short-term or no commitment style relationships at all (or hookups - yeah I know, I'm boring), which cancels out a lot of guys my age or younger lol.
Dating pro tip: if at the end of the first date you feel like you're not sure whether they're interested or not, don't bother. You might get a second date if you ask but they're probably on the fence at best and it almost certainly won't work out.
(If you have a different experience though by all means I'd like to hear it)
Dating pro tip: if at the end of the first date you feel like you're not sure whether they're interested or not, don't bother. You might get a second date if you ask but they're probably on the fence at best and it almost certainly won't work out.
(If you have a different experience though by all means I'd like to hear it)
And don't discount a first date just because it doesn't end in sloppy make-outs! My first date with one of the people I'm seeing now went okay but they seemed really standoffish at the end and I kind of thought we hadn't clicked. I sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and we got to texting back and forth a ton and they said how cute I was and it's been going great.
Dating pro tip: if at the end of the first date you feel like you're not sure whether they're interested or not, don't bother. You might get a second date if you ask but they're probably on the fence at best and it almost certainly won't work out.
(If you have a different experience though by all means I'd like to hear it)
And don't discount a first date just because it doesn't end in sloppy make-outs! My first date with one of the people I'm seeing now went okay but they seemed really standoffish at the end and I kind of thought we hadn't clicked. I sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and we got to texting back and forth a ton and they said how cute I was and it's been going great.
Ha! Yeah so: this person I'm seeing is very self-contained and not very demonstrative. We had a good time on the date, but it did feel slightly strained. There were pauses in the conversation, and the end of the night involved me dropping them off at their lab.
I said I'd like to see them again and they said "yes... this was ... nice. I will see whether I'm able to do anything next week." Then we parted ways. No kisses, and possibly the least effusive promise of a second date ever.
I texted the thank you, and we texted that whole week leading up to a really nice date where they were really into me. That was the one where we talked about how much they loved playing Crusader Kings before they got to grad school. One of the things I've realized about this person is that when they just say "okay." flatly, they're sitting there thinking for a bit. Initially I took it as oh no they're bored by me, but it's just that I'm a super talkative person when I'm nervous and they're a very quiet person when they're nervous.
They weren't trying to indicate they weren't interested in me, they were thinking "oh shit this cute person is real neat am I even ready to do this?"
I think that if you think someone is really neat and you'd like to go on another date, you should tell them. It's possible that what you perceive as a lack of interest is shyness, or just a less talkative person.
Worst case scenario is you get no date or a kind of a lukewarm second date. Best case scenario is you get a really fun second date where you find a lot more to talk about and they make super eyes at you and then make out super hard at the end because they were disappointed you didn't get to kiss at the end of the first date.
Dating pro tip: if at the end of the first date you feel like you're not sure whether they're interested or not, don't bother. You might get a second date if you ask but they're probably on the fence at best and it almost certainly won't work out.
(If you have a different experience though by all means I'd like to hear it)
And don't discount a first date just because it doesn't end in sloppy make-outs! My first date with one of the people I'm seeing now went okay but they seemed really standoffish at the end and I kind of thought we hadn't clicked. I sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and we got to texting back and forth a ton and they said how cute I was and it's been going great.
Ha! Yeah so: this person I'm seeing is very self-contained and not very demonstrative. We had a good time on the date, but it did feel slightly strained. There were pauses in the conversation, and the end of the night involved me dropping them off at their lab.
I said I'd like to see them again and they said "yes... this was ... nice. I will see whether I'm able to do anything next week." Then we parted ways. No kisses, and possibly the least effusive promise of a second date ever.
I texted the thank you, and we texted that whole week leading up to a really nice date where they were really into me. That was the one where we talked about how much they loved playing Crusader Kings before they got to grad school. One of the things I've realized about this person is that when they just say "okay." flatly, they're sitting there thinking for a bit. Initially I took it as oh no they're bored by me, but it's just that I'm a super talkative person when I'm nervous and they're a very quiet person when they're nervous.
They weren't trying to indicate they weren't interested in me, they were thinking "oh shit this cute person is real neat am I even ready to do this?"
I think that if you think someone is really neat and you'd like to go on another date, you should tell them. It's possible that what you perceive as a lack of interest is shyness, or just a less talkative person.
Worst case scenario is you get no date or a kind of a lukewarm second date. Best case scenario is you get a really fun second date where you find a lot more to talk about and they make super eyes at you and then make out super hard at the end because they were disappointed you didn't get to kiss at the end of the first date.
I'm not talking about anything physical, rather just the noncommittal attitude like you mentioned. In my experience there's a very strong correlation between that and a lukewarm interest where the second date is them giving it another try just in case they feel something (which they won't). Whereas in all my cases where the girl was really interested they've always made it very clear.
Put it this way, you shouldn't expect a change in behavior in subsequent dates. So yes maybe they are shy and not communicative with their feelings, but if you're going to pursue someone like that then just know what you're getting into. And if you're not the extrovert in that scenario it will probably fizzle out.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Bought my girlfriend flowers over the weekend. Apparently I was the first person ever to do this for her (I'm like 3 for 4 on this with previous women I've dated).
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I'm suspecting that POF is making the "Meet Me" count go up at pseudo random intervals in an effort to get me to pay $40. /cynic
In other news, through out the day, at least 8 more people have decided they'd like to meet me (on top of the 13 previously last night). Shame, I have no clue who these new people are because POF throttles the notifications after ~8-11.
Again, main photo is on fucking point this time around.
I've never had a TA before. I guess because my school isn't very large?
And yeah, I'm not interested in short-term or no commitment style relationships at all (or hookups - yeah I know, I'm boring), which cancels out a lot of guys my age or younger lol.
Also, I wanted to circle back around to the bolded, @builderr0r . I'm all for self-deprecating humor, but I hope you don't sincerely think that you're boring because you don't hookup with people.
And TAs are usually used at large research universities as slave labor for faculty, fyi hth.
Dating pro tip: if at the end of the first date you feel like you're not sure whether they're interested or not, don't bother. You might get a second date if you ask but they're probably on the fence at best and it almost certainly won't work out.
(If you have a different experience though by all means I'd like to hear it)
And don't discount a first date just because it doesn't end in sloppy make-outs! My first date with one of the people I'm seeing now went okay but they seemed really standoffish at the end and I kind of thought we hadn't clicked. I sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and we got to texting back and forth a ton and they said how cute I was and it's been going great.
Ha! Yeah so: this person I'm seeing is very self-contained and not very demonstrative. We had a good time on the date, but it did feel slightly strained. There were pauses in the conversation, and the end of the night involved me dropping them off at their lab.
I said I'd like to see them again and they said "yes... this was ... nice. I will see whether I'm able to do anything next week." Then we parted ways. No kisses, and possibly the least effusive promise of a second date ever.
I texted the thank you, and we texted that whole week leading up to a really nice date where they were really into me. That was the one where we talked about how much they loved playing Crusader Kings before they got to grad school. One of the things I've realized about this person is that when they just say "okay." flatly, they're sitting there thinking for a bit. Initially I took it as oh no they're bored by me, but it's just that I'm a super talkative person when I'm nervous and they're a very quiet person when they're nervous.
They weren't trying to indicate they weren't interested in me, they were thinking "oh shit this cute person is real neat am I even ready to do this?"
I think that if you think someone is really neat and you'd like to go on another date, you should tell them. It's possible that what you perceive as a lack of interest is shyness, or just a less talkative person.
Worst case scenario is you get no date or a kind of a lukewarm second date. Best case scenario is you get a really fun second date where you find a lot more to talk about and they make super eyes at you and then make out super hard at the end because they were disappointed you didn't get to kiss at the end of the first date.
I'm not talking about anything physical, rather just the noncommittal attitude like you mentioned. In my experience there's a very strong correlation between that and a lukewarm interest where the second date is them giving it another try just in case they feel something (which they won't). Whereas in all my cases where the girl was really interested they've always made it very clear.
Put it this way, you shouldn't expect a change in behavior in subsequent dates. So yes maybe they are shy and not communicative with their feelings, but if you're going to pursue someone like that then just know what you're getting into. And if you're not the extrovert in that scenario it will probably fizzle out.
I agree!
I think I just don't weight the events the same way you do. But that's probably because I just started dating again after over a decade, so I'm happy to go out for drinks with an attractive person and talk for a while regardless of how likely it is to lead anywhere.
It has had the bonus of keeping me in touch with a person I very much enjoy being around, but it is true that that is likely a matter of chance. Had I done it 10 more times, I'm sure most of those would have fizzled.
But I still think that there's nothing to lose from saying you're interested in a person if you are interested in them. Attempting to pick up complex signals from someone you met a few hours ago is tough, expressing your own feelings is easy.
I don't! I think I'm pretty okay despite what others may think. Although not being interested in "hooking up" seems to place me in the minority, especially compared to other college students.
Although not being interested in "hooking up" seems to place me in the minority, especially compared to other college students.
Not so much! Unless something's changed in the last year or two, everything I've seen that actually looked at the rates of hooking up suggests it's only a small minority of mostly upper middle class white students doing so in the US. They just are very loud about it (you typically aren't going to hear someone talking about how they aren't doing hookups) and sometimes it's a slow news day so the media does a report and blows it out of proportion.
Although not being interested in "hooking up" seems to place me in the minority, especially compared to other college students.
Not so much! Unless something's changed in the last year or two, everything I've seen that actually looked at the rates of hooking up suggests it's only a small minority of mostly upper middle class white students doing so in the US. They just are very loud about it (you typically aren't going to hear someone talking about how they aren't doing hookups) and sometimes it's a slow news day so the media does a report and blows it out of proportion.
Oh yes, my last few roommates were very loud about it...That moment where you're not sure whether to be annoyed, turned on, or jealous. :P
My roommate was the same way about a year ago. "Girl of the Week" was a literal thing for a while, off of PoF according to him, but then he met someone in a play by last October and they've been together since.
Of course, he's good-looking and shredded, so he made it work.
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
Oh.. uhh.. i guess the "maybe" button on POF counts as a "Yes"
I should... umm.. I should add that to the OP.
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
I can try to find hooking up stats but I was under the impression that it was super common
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I can try to find hooking up stats but I was under the impression that it was super common
Data point: I did not hook-up in college.
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
Me either
And we are the coolest people of our genders, so no one could've hooked up, ever.
It's just proof by induction.
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
My multiple-year "dry spell" began around when I started university, and did not end until well after I graduated
what I'm saying here is that clearly hookups are a myth, like bigfoot and the female orgasm
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
So, clicking "Maybe" on a crap ton of profiles thinking that it would add the profile back into the list for me to randomly see again, and not notify the other user, was a pretty positive mistake.
Found out there was a mutual 'maybe' scenario possibly in the works. We'll see how this goes.
I can try to find hooking up stats but I was under the impression that it was super common
Common does not mean done by the majority. Enough people are at any given campus or even at any given party or social function that some will be hooking up with each other is very high but despite what Brazzers tells us isn't going to happen for everyone. It's like the way that a a room full of people has a very good probability of two of them sharing a birthday: It happens often but it's not happening to most of the people in the room, and the odds if it happening to you specifically are pretty low.
I wonder how much Tinder has increased the rate at which people hook up. I know it's certainly increased the number of girls I've hooked up with, and my friend has banged a crazy amount of girls he met off there. And most of my friends (girls and guys) have used it and had a certain amount of success.
Posts
Age is a weird one anyway. I see some people that look old to me, and I find out they're my age or even younger. I was buying wine at the grocery store and the cashier looks at me and says "I'm going to need to see your ID". After I gave it to him he looked kind of confused. Turns out I'm 5 years older than him. This morning I found out a coworker is 40 when I would have guessed she was in her mid-twenties. Maybe I'm just really bad at guessing ages.
Just being able to go to meetup.com and seeing more than 0 groups that sound interesting, or not staring at the same 10 faces on OKC will be an improvement over where I am now.
I've learned the importance of having friends and doing things with them, but I am still working on initiating things myself.
Yeah the age thing is annoying. There really should be a way to filter by other people's age requirements. That being said I've gotten plenty of responses and gone on quite a few dates with girls whose age requirements were older than me. But I've also had girls message me back saying I was too young for them (even some who were my same age).
And yeah I'm with you on telling someone's age. I can guess within maybe a decade range but I'm just horrible at it.
Age is weird, I constantly get told that I look 5-7 years younger than I am.
Anyway... Lady I met today is not interested. She seemed a little tired when we first met and I wasn't skilled enough at conversation to change the mood.
Do any of you who have had success with first meetings have advice? Maybe conversation topics to look for or avoid, good things to do or not do? Perhaps a story of a particularly good first meeting?
Yeah, I think on dating sites it's best to send out as many messages as possible to people you're interested in, even if you don't fit in their age range or you don't meet one of their criteria. What's the worst that could happen? Some people might be willing to make exceptions, especially if they see something on your profile that they really like.
I think I need sleep.
In my small anecdotal reality.
Good times are ahead, I can feel it (Or that could just be the wine talking).
I think my profile isn't too bad.
My main pick is on point though. I look rad.
Sure. The seat and frame may be different, and the pedals may not work the way you expect and you might find that you have lost your sense of balance, but you'll get the hang of it eventually.
Also, I should mention that I can't ride a bike and barely have any idea what I just said. You'll be fine.
Part of this is because i've really been trying to avoid opening with talks about mutual media (favorite shows, etc) unless it's off of something really targeted in their profile (one of them said "message me if you know what a "scooty puff jr." is, for instance), so profiles talking about less other stuff have a hard time inspiring a good message off of me.
I think what has worked best on me is to think of conversation as an opportunity to give the other person a chance to talk about interesting things.
Focus on what they've done, what they like, what they can do, what they think is important. Then rather than thinking about how you can respond appropriately after they've said something, think about something else you'd like to know about them.
That way you get out of your own head a bit. Not to say you won't be talking about yourself at all, mind you. It will just wind up being more in response to them than out of a sense that you need to fill dead air.
I'd say things you've done make for better first meeting topics than things you like. Media in general is fun to talk about with someone who you're a bit more comfortable with, but can shut down quickly when you're talking to someone who you don't really know yet.
Most of all, be genuinely happy to be around this person. Remind yourself that if all that happens is a few hours of drinking and talking to an attractive person, it's still been a really good night.
And don't discount a first date just because it doesn't end in sloppy make-outs! My first date with one of the people I'm seeing now went okay but they seemed really standoffish at the end and I kind of thought we hadn't clicked. I sent a text saying thanks for a great night, and we got to texting back and forth a ton and they said how cute I was and it's been going great.
I had my first date with anyone other than my ex a month and a half ago. It was my first date since 2004, and everything has gone really, really well so far. If anything, I've gotten much, much better at dating. Just self-confidence and the ability to be respectful to other people has been a huge help.
If she has pedals.
STOP IT STOP IT
I'M NOT THAT OLD
E: Sorry durandal, removed the at
Whippersnapper.
That does remind me that holy shit I can't imagine dating someone more than like 3-4 years younger than me. I feel like TAing college courses has made me think of 21 as "toddler" and adjust my acceptable ages upward.
I also think this is due to a confirmation bias with regards to undergrads and how they whine at TAs. :P
I've met (outside of the interbutt scene) some very interesting and driven 21-23 year olds. However, they're usually so driven that they only want something short term, or no commitment style of relationship, which I fully endorse at that age. But for me, short-term/no-commitment isnt appealing because I'm at that phase in my life where I want to have my adventure buddy, and also be able to come home to her too on a mundane boring everyday-weekday.
And yeah, I'm not interested in short-term or no commitment style relationships at all (or hookups - yeah I know, I'm boring), which cancels out a lot of guys my age or younger lol.
(If you have a different experience though by all means I'd like to hear it)
Ha! Yeah so: this person I'm seeing is very self-contained and not very demonstrative. We had a good time on the date, but it did feel slightly strained. There were pauses in the conversation, and the end of the night involved me dropping them off at their lab.
I said I'd like to see them again and they said "yes... this was ... nice. I will see whether I'm able to do anything next week." Then we parted ways. No kisses, and possibly the least effusive promise of a second date ever.
I texted the thank you, and we texted that whole week leading up to a really nice date where they were really into me. That was the one where we talked about how much they loved playing Crusader Kings before they got to grad school. One of the things I've realized about this person is that when they just say "okay." flatly, they're sitting there thinking for a bit. Initially I took it as oh no they're bored by me, but it's just that I'm a super talkative person when I'm nervous and they're a very quiet person when they're nervous.
They weren't trying to indicate they weren't interested in me, they were thinking "oh shit this cute person is real neat am I even ready to do this?"
I think that if you think someone is really neat and you'd like to go on another date, you should tell them. It's possible that what you perceive as a lack of interest is shyness, or just a less talkative person.
Worst case scenario is you get no date or a kind of a lukewarm second date. Best case scenario is you get a really fun second date where you find a lot more to talk about and they make super eyes at you and then make out super hard at the end because they were disappointed you didn't get to kiss at the end of the first date.
I'm not talking about anything physical, rather just the noncommittal attitude like you mentioned. In my experience there's a very strong correlation between that and a lukewarm interest where the second date is them giving it another try just in case they feel something (which they won't). Whereas in all my cases where the girl was really interested they've always made it very clear.
Put it this way, you shouldn't expect a change in behavior in subsequent dates. So yes maybe they are shy and not communicative with their feelings, but if you're going to pursue someone like that then just know what you're getting into. And if you're not the extrovert in that scenario it will probably fizzle out.
In other news, through out the day, at least 8 more people have decided they'd like to meet me (on top of the 13 previously last night). Shame, I have no clue who these new people are because POF throttles the notifications after ~8-11.
Again, main photo is on fucking point this time around.
Also, I wanted to circle back around to the bolded, @builderr0r . I'm all for self-deprecating humor, but I hope you don't sincerely think that you're boring because you don't hookup with people.
And TAs are usually used at large research universities as slave labor for faculty, fyi hth.
I agree!
I think I just don't weight the events the same way you do. But that's probably because I just started dating again after over a decade, so I'm happy to go out for drinks with an attractive person and talk for a while regardless of how likely it is to lead anywhere.
It has had the bonus of keeping me in touch with a person I very much enjoy being around, but it is true that that is likely a matter of chance. Had I done it 10 more times, I'm sure most of those would have fizzled.
But I still think that there's nothing to lose from saying you're interested in a person if you are interested in them. Attempting to pick up complex signals from someone you met a few hours ago is tough, expressing your own feelings is easy.
Not so much! Unless something's changed in the last year or two, everything I've seen that actually looked at the rates of hooking up suggests it's only a small minority of mostly upper middle class white students doing so in the US. They just are very loud about it (you typically aren't going to hear someone talking about how they aren't doing hookups) and sometimes it's a slow news day so the media does a report and blows it out of proportion.
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Oh yes, my last few roommates were very loud about it...That moment where you're not sure whether to be annoyed, turned on, or jealous. :P
Of course, he's good-looking and shredded, so he made it work.
I should... umm.. I should add that to the OP.
Data point: I did not hook-up in college.
And we are the coolest people of our genders, so no one could've hooked up, ever.
It's just proof by induction.
what I'm saying here is that clearly hookups are a myth, like bigfoot and the female orgasm
Found out there was a mutual 'maybe' scenario possibly in the works. We'll see how this goes.
Common does not mean done by the majority. Enough people are at any given campus or even at any given party or social function that some will be hooking up with each other is very high but despite what Brazzers tells us isn't going to happen for everyone. It's like the way that a a room full of people has a very good probability of two of them sharing a birthday: It happens often but it's not happening to most of the people in the room, and the odds if it happening to you specifically are pretty low.
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