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Speedrunning through the [Trans Thread] in less than twelve parsecs
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so, uh, chance you might have a trans kid there
it would be good to keep listening to your child, maybe just straight up ask them if they want to be a boy?
zero harm in letting your child explore this, beyond judgmental assholes
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resident adorable forum girl here :P
PFFFFFFFFFFFT i'm constantly just jealous of you!
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
The problem with asking directly is they can get wishy washy and not have the right words for an answer. It generally confuses the adult and then the child cause they look to adults as an ultimate authority. Definitely agree it looks like a kid somewhere on the trans spectrum.
But it's a tough line, parenting is hard
and a child should learn from an early age that they have authority over their body
really feeling sketch about anything edging CLOSE to a child being "confused" and it's usually the parent that's a whole lot more confused in this type of situation
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I like this.
But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
- Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
Does the hormone not even kick in until puberty?
I always heard that kids get a "hormone bath" of sorts in the womb but I never knew if that was real or just a story.
I'm ignorant as fuck, y'all.
I'm about as ignorant as you, but I do know that when my sister was carrying boys, she had a lot more testosterone and was able to gain muscle much more quickly.
But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
- Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
Allow me to clarify. The child won't be confused. The parent will be. Thats why I say expose them to trans media to increase vocabulary and general knowledge of what they are feeling.
Edit: Let me elaborate with my personal tale. My child from an early age desire to be a boy at times. Being who we are we rolled with the punches. My spouse became obsessed and started being very pro-active and conforming. My kid lashed back as it was too much too soon in terms of change, and ultimately we have learned not what they wanted. As time has gone my kid has identified as either Agender or Genderfluid. Neither of these were in the initial interaction because they didn't have the words to say "I don't fit into the gender binary." So I advise caution on being proactive because the child might not be able to state exactly what they want without more exposure, which we both agree is good.
Um, it's complicated. Generally yes there is a hormone bath of sorts in the brain. Estrogen, to simplify since there are a few types, masculanizes the brain in the womb. Yes I got that right to the best of my memory. After that sex hormone production doesn't kick into a major degree until puberty. To the best of my knowledge there is no age cutoff for hormones. They have a greater effect at younger ages certainly, but they always have an effect on you whether it be their presence or absence.
While true given how society is structured it is best to treat it as a real thing for as long as the kid does. Following their lead is kind of the lesson parents have to continuously learn while balancing out their urges to apparently commit suicide in the most inventive way they can imagine at any given age.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
gender is totally a thing that demands exploration
there's a difference between shoving a new gender on a child versus "hey, imma gonna give you room to play around"
edit: and, hey, it looks your child is exploring - which is more than what most parents even allow
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Asking these questions when we're adults means we have to play a lot of catchup with ourselves on top of all the responsibilities and often hardships of being an adult.
Which is what I mean by follow where the child leads you. We are agreeing while arguing over which words to use to say the exact same thing.
You would be surprised how little you have to encourage them as well. Kids are curious little sponges. Give them an awareness that what they are exists outside of them and they will eat it up. Any exposure makes an amazing difference not just in normalizing the experience but also in informing them on how to express what they feel. The latter being the hardest part relatively. Kids only need encouragement if they are taught not to as a means of enforcing gender roles at an early age. Otherwise they treat it as any other subject they don't fully understand yet and explore it to their hearts content. Long before we got into the question of where my child fit gender wise they were in a full princess gown rushing to go play with their army men.
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Unless you disagree with the idea that the parents take the back seat for what the child does wrt gender stuff (as broad a topic as that is) and just letting the kid tell them what's what. I urge a bit more patience for small children (pre age 6 or 7 I would guess) just due to limited emotional and personal vocabulary combined with how seriously they take what adults tell them (because parents telling their son he is their daughter can confuse the kid but not about what gender they are. Avoiding more minor variations of this is also important.)
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She's definitely into both 'girl' and ' boy' stuff; likes dressing up with fairy wings but also likes playing trucks and driving my Hexbug giant spiderbot.
So won't push anything, just see what develops and be supporting.
Toy preferences MIGHT have something to do with what your gender expression will be or it might not, I think you are taking the right approach, especially in an age where we are trying to move in the direction of not attaching pastime / hobby to gender
it's hard trying not to be bitter about things in general
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My GI Joes would ride my little ponies and dinosaurs into combat. Cobra didn't stand a chance.
This sounds both awesome and so very you. I love it.
Nah it makes sense to me. I expected as much when I used the word "confused." It is a loaded term at best in these contexts. Best to keep it honest considering it has to deal with a small child.