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Craziest Gaming Stories that Actually Happened
Squashua
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__BANNED USERS regular
This thread is for posting the craziest gaming story that you've been involved in or witness to that actually happened.
I just went through 12 pages of threads looking for something similar and I must have failed my "find thread" check.
This thread was prompted from the current VtM Phalla where players requested I tell my Vampire story.
I will relate it in it's entirety in my next post.
I just went through 12 pages of threads looking for something similar and I must have failed my "find thread" check.
This thread was prompted from the current VtM Phalla where players requested I tell my Vampire story.
I will relate it in it's entirety in my next post.
Squashua on
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My Vampire Experience.
Through observation at a few conventions, and a couple additional cracks at the rulebook, I twig to what's going on and what needs to be done. I locate a Vampire LARP that takes place weekly in downtown Cincinnati at a Goth Club, which happens to be a male strip joint on the weekends. I pal up with some guy I had started hanging out with who I met at the comic store, and I give it one more go. Nope. the Vampire LARP thing isn't happening. The comic guy knows some people, but he's really not helping out with the game and I'm just not getting into it. Everyone is too into themselves and being their own outsiders to actually let an outsider play.
Fuck it.
So, out of college now, I get on the internets and various other means, and advertise to start a local role-playing game. I get some responses and 4 very nice players, and after a few one-shot game sessions, we agree to play a modern super-hero setting for a campaign. We make up characters (MEGS / DC HEROES) and the next game session, everyone will drop by and I'll make it all work.
That's the toughest part about being a GM; the first adventure. You all meet in a bar. You all have to solve the same crisis simultaneously. I call bullshit. Super-hero team-ups should feel natural. So here's what I got:
- An amnesiac background who thinks he's some sort of Green Lantern.
- A mutant who made a name for himself saving a schoolbus with his telekinetic and psychic powers.
- Another mutant who has showy shadow powers who wants to make a name for himself.
- A world-famous witchy-sorceress, "Morganna, Mistress of the Night"; Elvira meets Zatanna.
I decide to base the team-up adventure around a crisis at a public appearance of Morganna's; specifically, her being a "guest of honor" at ConCON XXVI. Yep; placed it at a game convention. Long story short (I can dictate the adventure for you in a later post), after a couple of blatant red herrings, the "antagonists" end up being the people in charge of the Vampire LARP and "White Wolf" in general; turns out they really are vampires and their appearances at game conventions are "round-ups" to get faithful servants and meals. I mean, who'd miss a few gamers?
The heroes take down the mob, but the big baddies get away. And it was getting late and we had to stop for the night. So that's when it hits me. I make some arbitrary rolls for ideas, clues, etc. Then I inform the group that we'll meet outside the Vampire LARP later that week, a half hour after it starts. I told them to... dress as your super-hero character, if he or she was dressed as a Vampire LARPer.
I dress up in a full purple/gray tweed pimp outfit that I snagged for a "Pimps n Hos" party from the prior year. At the established time, everyone shows up except one guy, but that's fine. Outside the club, everyone is dressed up nicely; dark and spooky. "Morganna" is sluttified to the max (and she's hot, normally), "Psychic Dave" is wearing leather studs and a maroon snap-button shirt with a black t-shirt and black jeans, and "Shadowman" (Morganna's husband) is in a dark trench and hat with black shirt underneath and black pants.
I explain that tonight, I am still their GM, no matter what goes on inside the club. They will be playing AS their super characters. None of their characters ever had experience with the game except Morganna, and her only in a passing sense. We are here investigating leads into the actual-Vampires-posing-as-LARPers case. Our goal for the night is to get into a back room of the club that I knew physically existed, and that all the Vampire gamers seemed to be able to "get to", but only if you were really high on the gaming totem pole. Meaning, if you weren't in "the clique, you weren't getting in". Once we get in there, I'll call time and we'll decide what to do then.
"From this moment onwards," I say, "I will take the role of 'Jimmy'" a "Jimmy Olsen" gamer NPC they befriended in the prior game. A "sidekick" if you will, who is supposedly the most "experienced" player. And yet, all three of these people played a hell of a lot more Vampire than I ever had, did, or will.
I explain (as Jimmy) that we'll all be playing Malkavians, the "crazy clan" and we're first time-gamers from out of town; say Atlanta, looking for some "hot gaming action". Shadowman tells me that we're better off just saying we're college students from a somewhat out-of-town university, probably Miami (Ohio) and amateur Vampire LARPers. I frown (in-character) and say "fine!" and mentally give Shadowman some bonus XP.
I pay everyone's $5 entry fee and we're in. We meet up with the GM and everyone lets me handle it. I explain that we're malks and looking for some hot.. get interrupted by Shadowman who takes over with the background he proposed earlier. (more XP for shadowman). We fill in our characters; I'm a pimp, Morganna's my ho, Shadowman is my enforcer, and "Psychic Dave" who is using his TK on the dice (roll 2d10.. success; XP for RP, XP for attempt, XP), is my druggie/cohort/#2.
We lurk around the club and chat up various gamers. I listen in to the conversations and I hear Morganna trying to find "real" vampires (XP++). "Psychic Dave" gets Shadowman to rough someone up (rock-papers-scissors!) and eventually, we charm our way towards the back room.
On the way there, we're accosted by some frumpy guy in gray. Not all dressed up or anything; more like half-assed goth college student outfit. He looks at us and smiles. "I heard, but I didn't know it was true! Malkavians! I have an actual clan!!!!!!!!"
For those of you who don't know, Malkavians in Vampire are like, umm, Kender in Dragonlance, for lack of a better analogy. Played right, they're downright evil, but in general they're (dis)regarded as "that annoying goofy shit group". Which, us "being" Malks, would certainly account for any weird activity.
So this guy. This poor sap. I feel for him. All alone. Gaming by himself; a clan of one. And then suddenly he has 4 instant-friends. Then-again, he has 4 instant-friends he, as a high-level malk, can "push around". So instead of getting anywhere on his bad side, I tell him some people were looking for him outside (where the Werewolf players were hanging out, no seriously; no werewolves allowed inside!), so he goes. *whew*
We get to the back where some sort of huge Prince shit is going down. And this short fat girl is trying to push through our group screaming "Majesty, majesty" and waving her hand in front of her face; I think it's a magic Vampire power, but she just looked ridiculous. And she was rude. No "excuse me", just shove shove shove through us. So we mocked her. Openly. She looked annoyed.
So we sit back in the back room and watch the group chat and Shadowman presents a list of names and likely vampires and he says Morganna and Psychic Dave have added to the list... it's long. (XP XP XP) We've been there all of 4 hours now, goofing around and having fun, but it's a work night and it's late, which is enough for all of us. So I round us up and say "Follow me" and I walk right up to the vampire meeting. And listen in close. Close... close... I'm right up to the prince. And I see what they're doing.
It's about 12 people, half with their arms crossed, surrounding 4 people who are all playing rock-paper-scissors and debating rules. Nothing ground-breaking here at all. Just mindless. MINDLESS. Where's the ROLE in ROLE-playing? This was the big fun I was trying to get to months earlier? Forget it.
At this point I yell "Time out! OK, XP time!" and start openly allocating experience to my players, "You get 30 Hero Points for this, you get 25 Hero Points for that..." right then and there.
The LARPers are puzzled. And watch.
Then I'm all, "you guys want to hang out?" to my players. "No, we're good". OK, let's go. Psychic Dave turns and says "One more thing..." then he rips open his button-snap shirt and on his black t-shirt, he must have done it in white-out, but on his black t-shirt is a huge stylized "PD" and he hollers "Psychic Dave to the Rescue!!!" and we walk out of there never to come back.
Coda: Several months later, I'm in a bar at a CON relating this story and one listener eyes light up and he says, "That was you??!!! I was so happy to have a clan and you guys were gone!" It was my malkavian friend. A really nice guy. He and I became friends and we played a few Pen-n-Paper Cthulhu with him since. Neither he nor I had been back to the Vamprie LARP since that night.
edit And yes, I know it's Hero Points/HP not XP in MEGS, thanks. "XP" flows better when telling the story.
edit: Spoiler'd to save space.
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"
~ Dr. Emilio Lizardo
Where is the Death Squad post? :O
The color-scheme on that site is awful. Hillarious stories though.
You used to be able to pick your own CSS color-scheme for rpg.net ; not sure if you still can, but it's worth a look in your profile.
311, just found it.
woah
Top of page 32 if you're viewing as default.
That´s when the prostitutes arrived.
And that's when I couldn't stop laughing.
It could be worse, it could be white text on a blue background...
(See what I did there? Eh?)
But, I think it just grows on you. It's one of the few forums who's layout doesn't hurt my eyes after reading a mega-thread.
COME FORTH, AMATERASU! - Switch Friend Code SW-5465-2458-5696 - Twitch
Why have the thread? You've likely already won it. :P
I hate this town...
STEAM
I copy/pasted the story below so noone has to miss the awesome.
Just a thought.
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"
~ Dr. Emilio Lizardo
Hmmm.... this needs some serious looking at, thanks!
STEAM
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"
~ Dr. Emilio Lizardo
They discovered that the owner of the shop (an avid Settlers of Catan player) was having sex with female employees on the table we usually used to play Warhammer.
Shortly thereafter, we found a different store to go to...
:^::^: if they were hot.
Fantasy grounds looks awesome but hell if it isn't heck of expensive. >>
No, they were pretty average to ugly, and most of them were 18 or 19. He's in his fifties and married with a kid.
I'm not sure why, but this had me on the verge of tears. That is SUCH an excellent story.
Jesus. I'm only at page 15 (of 451) and it's like mainlining pure distilled bad crazy, from the mostly innocuous (gamer/warlock who threatens to cast a real life spell on you!) to the sad (guy who claims to be Phelan Kell for reals! and also a ninja!) to the freaky (guys who follow you from home to work and vandalize your house) to the brain-blasting ultra-WTF (guy shits himself during games, guy date-rapes GM's sister!).
So yeah. Ironically enough, it seems a large chunk of the gaming population should have been re-rolled straight out of the womb.
"A +11 Deathdealer blade with full HellStryke capabilities?! I shit my pants!"
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"
~ Dr. Emilio Lizardo
Mmmmmm...Gackt-licious
I had left the school after this, so the rest is all taken from Geebs' half-mad ramblings. Apparently these fat, greasy thirty-year-olds were trying to outdo one another in describing the sexual escapades of their underage female characters. They started out with boyfriends, then random guys. I gather that the exchange student's player was trying to plan a lesbian orgy when Geebs finally left with several weeks of the game still left. I'm not in communication with any of the players, and Geebs purposely cut himself off. I can only guess it eventually devolved into a buch of greasy, smelly thirty year-olds jerking off all over each other.
Flavor quote:
How much truth these yarns contain is debatable, but Ab3 insists that he didn't just make them up out of the blue. Having been to a Con once in my life, I believe him.
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"
~ Dr. Emilio Lizardo
"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"
~ Dr. Emilio Lizardo
that was seriously the worst thing ever and I blame fuzzball for talking me into joining that game
My crazy gaming experiences...well, playing random group of people in the dorm on their twin OxBox's mocking someone by saying, "Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain." When I got them in the back, and then laughing my ass off when I yelled fuck and someone tried to use it against me.
being at pax08, getting one more match in on freeplay TF2, sticky jumping, and taking out the entire enemy team as they out of the gate.
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
Dresden Files RPG. I'm GMing. My party is a mixed group of mortals and minor talents with some fun character concepts. Setting is a Dresden-ized version of our town (basically, just "the supernatural stuff is real but under the surface", for those who don't know the setting). The party is investigating some leads on a recent attack and discovers a suspicious group of high schoolers has been asking a lot of questions and generally causing trouble in local occult shops.
The plan, thinking I know my party (amateur GM mistake), was for them to confront the group, talk to them, and figure out that they're small fries being manipulated by the guys the party is after. I figured they might even become npcs allied with the group who could help them gather information, and maybe even show up every so often.
Instead, my party assumes these guys are the source of all the trouble. They decide to set up an elaborate stakeout on all the local occult shops (after grilling people for information to get the kids' descriptions). One of them spots the group, and even after overhearing them and the next guy up the chain talk and plan the next meeting, decides the teenagers are the ones to follow, not the shady guy. After making several ridiculous stealth rolls, he manages to follow the leader of the highschoolers all the way home. Having figured out where he lives, the two science-geeks in my group decide that with their skills and resources, they should be able to construct a laser-microphone to listen in this kid's window to see if they can figure out what he's up to.
After they spent 10 minutes arguing about how one would go about building a laser-mic from parts, I finally go "Alright. Fine. You guys build it. What now?"
"We pull up on the street one house down from his, and I point the microphone at his window to listen in."
"Tell me, how did you all get here? Same way you left the last meeting?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Alright. *I make a roll* The man who lives in the house you're in front of notices that someone in a white unmarked van is pointing a strange device out the window towards the window of his 17 year old next door neighbor, and begins approaching you out his front door."
"....Uh, whoops. We get the fuck out of here."
The first session went off without a hitch, the players acquiring an artifact by pilfering an ancient, long forgotten reliquary. They wanted to play a bit more, so I decided to throw a scare into them by letting them meet one of the campaign's big bads, Inquisitor Tremayne. I started doing the villain thing when one of the girls goes.
"I attack him."
What?
"I attack him. I want to kill his [bitch ass]" (not the exact wording, but about the same feeling)
The players were level 1. A TPK was imminent. (Tremayne's a level 15. He'd make mincemeat out the heroes) I tried to dissuade her, telling her that he was horrifying gaping maw of evil compared to her budding mastery of the Force. (She was a level 1 Force Adept) Nothign could stop, she was adamant she could fight Tremayne.
"I'm going to use Force Grip on him, and I'm going to call on the Dark Side to do it."
I knew she'd been leaning towards playing a dark character, so this wasn't surprising. She could try, Tremayne had Will Save to spare. She rolled. I looked at the die. I blinked, I looked again.
The woman rolled a natural 20, plus her Dark Side dice. I smirked. This would be all the better when Tremayne made his will save. I rolled the dice behind the screen. I looked like a landed fish. It was the player's grail. I had critically failed the Will Save. Tremayne's pants were down. She dropped him like Vader weeding out Executor's command crew.
Needless to say, since then, I have not underestimated the ability for players to fight their way out of a situation.
Oh man, I would love to hear how you rolled with this and made the story go after the fact. As a newbie GM, dealing with player-innovation is simultaneously the most fun and most difficult part.
Say it with me: "Always two there are...a master, and an apprentice."
If the players kill the Big Bad, he was automatically and retroactively the apprentice of the true Big Bad. :P