All this talk of kids and babies and societal expectations has triggered something else that gets me mad. Important background info: I'm nearly 45 and a gay male. I also do not like kids, do not have a single paternal instinct and have never had any desire to have children.
So, pretty much throughout my twenties and thirties, I just seemed to have this constant societal pressure to 'settle down and start a family'. Even when I came out to people, it didn't stop. I'd get the whole 'oh its such a shame that you can't have kids yourself' at first, which morphed over time (as society itself has shifted slightly) to 'well at least you can consider adoption/surrogacy/fostering' etc etc.
At no point in any of that was a moment's thought given to the possibility that I (like countless others) actually, you know, might not want to have kids. That's frustrating and maddening in itself, but I think what really grinds my gears is the look I get from so many people when I mention that 'well, actually, I'm not really bothered because I don't even really like kids'. Honestly, I'm had reactions that would leave you thinking I'd gone up to the grave of a beloved ancestor and urinated all over it :mad:
What also really gets to me is that, in 2017, I still feel the need to conceal my HIV status because too many people still treat it like a new, highly contagious form of the Black Death :-/
It's all saltwater these days:
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
In more tales of Bowen's incredible shitty roommate:
I have 100% confirmed he's been using my towel. How? I came home at 6 and today was one of his "work late nights" where he works from like 5pm to midnight, and my towel was soaaaaaaaaaaaked, and it's usually dry before lunch on my work days. Also it was evident he had just showered because the shower curtain was wide open (DUDE CLOSE IT IT HELPS SLOW DOWN MILDEW ON THE CURTAIN YOU FUCK) and the shower was wet (also he somehow manages to get water above the shower itself, I think he wrestles bears or some shit).
It also reeked of his BO, because this boy has the worst BO I've ever smelt on a human being before.
He also heard through the grapevine that I wanted to work on a game. So he's like "hey I want to be the designer and come up with concepts and story lines" and I was like "I'm doing all the programming, and will likely need to hire out the art if I ever do this, and you want to do the story line and that's all you'd contribute?"
Apparently he thinks that should get him 50/50.
Motherfucker I've seen your writing, it's not that great. I'd rather give an artist 50/50 share than you.
I know you are/were my best friend but jesus christ you are pushing me to the edge of my sanity with how much you're a slob.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
I keep starting to look for apartments, and then either getting extremely bummed out or having choice anxiety (but where all the choices are kind of shitty ones)
I keep starting to look for apartments, and then either getting extremely bummed out or having choice anxiety (but where all the choices are kind of shitty ones)
I keep starting to look for apartments, and then either getting extremely bummed out or having choice anxiety (but where all the choices are kind of shitty ones)
I'm probably just going to go live in a box.
Is the box at least rent controlled?
in Boston??? It's $1400 a month without amenities.
I keep starting to look for apartments, and then either getting extremely bummed out or having choice anxiety (but where all the choices are kind of shitty ones)
I keep starting to look for apartments, and then either getting extremely bummed out or having choice anxiety (but where all the choices are kind of shitty ones)
I'm probably just going to go live in a box.
Is the box at least rent controlled?
in Boston??? It's $1400 a month without amenities.
Y'know when you first moved to Boston, I thought I would have so much good advice for you, but since then I've only become convinced at how utterly insane the housing/rental market is in Massachusetts these days.
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
It's bawhacko. It's the economy of scale that gets me .You CAN pay a reasonable amount if you don't mind sharing - a four or five bed place can be found for 3000-3500. Or you can pay 2k plus and have a basic as fuck studio (maybe a one bed) to yourself. There is nothing in between, which really screws over single professionals.
When all of you talk about it I just kind of scratch my head at it.
My brother mentioned me looking at cape cod (where he used to work) but I was just like no thanks man
I'm happy here
where I don't have to partake in a satanic ritual to find a living space
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
edited May 2017
I ain't want to be a dick, but if Tinker Air Force Base ever gets into robotics, you need to jump on that. I'm living in an 822 sq. ft. apartment for $760/month, in a brand new complex, and this whole complex has taken about eight months to fill up.
Boston seems like way too much hassle from where I'm sitting.
The most expensive apartment in this joint is a 3 bed/2 bath 1333 sq. ft. for $1300/month.
I ain't want to be a dick, but if Tinker Air Force Base ever gets into robotics, you need to jump on that. I'm living in an 822 sq. ft. apartment for $760/month, in a brand new complex, and this whole complex has taken about eight months to fill up.
Boston seems like way too much hassle from where I'm sitting.
The most expensive apartment in this joint is a 3 bed/2 bath 1333 sq. ft. for $1300/month.
Much as Oklahoma sounds like a friggin' blast, I'm a dirty furriner, which tends* to exclude me from most military-funded or military-adjacent employment.
JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Ah. Makes sense. Well, I'll let you know if the library system ever gets into automatons in a big way. I've got a book-sorting robot right outside my office, so we're halfway there.
I ain't want to be a dick, but if Tinker Air Force Base ever gets into robotics, you need to jump on that. I'm living in an 822 sq. ft. apartment for $760/month, in a brand new complex, and this whole complex has taken about eight months to fill up.
Boston seems like way too much hassle from where I'm sitting.
The most expensive apartment in this joint is a 3 bed/2 bath 1333 sq. ft. for $1300/month.
Much as Oklahoma sounds like a friggin' blast, I'm a dirty furriner, which tends* to exclude me from most military-funded or military-adjacent employment.
*not always, but it's rare.
The commonwealth realms have a muuuuuuuuch easier time breaking into that field, but yeah, still practically impossible.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I ain't want to be a dick, but if Tinker Air Force Base ever gets into robotics, you need to jump on that. I'm living in an 822 sq. ft. apartment for $760/month, in a brand new complex, and this whole complex has taken about eight months to fill up.
Boston seems like way too much hassle from where I'm sitting.
The most expensive apartment in this joint is a 3 bed/2 bath 1333 sq. ft. for $1300/month.
Much as Oklahoma sounds like a friggin' blast, I'm a dirty furriner, which tends* to exclude me from most military-funded or military-adjacent employment.
*not always, but it's rare.
Tynic, yeah. That's not my experience living in Huntsville, Alabama. There are a shitton of private tech and engineering firms that work on government contracts here.
And I had a cheaper apartment that was brand new and extremely nice when I had my own place a few years back.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
I ain't want to be a dick, but if Tinker Air Force Base ever gets into robotics, you need to jump on that. I'm living in an 822 sq. ft. apartment for $760/month, in a brand new complex, and this whole complex has taken about eight months to fill up.
Boston seems like way too much hassle from where I'm sitting.
The most expensive apartment in this joint is a 3 bed/2 bath 1333 sq. ft. for $1300/month.
Much as Oklahoma sounds like a friggin' blast, I'm a dirty furriner, which tends* to exclude me from most military-funded or military-adjacent employment.
*not always, but it's rare.
Tynic, yeah. That's not my experience living in Huntsville, Alabama. There are a shitton of private tech and engineering firms that work on government contracts here.
And I had a cheaper apartment that was brand new and extremely nice when I had my own place a few years back.
ok but whether they're private companies or not is not super relevant? Most US job listings in my field require residency, and that's particularly true for anything involving military tech or military funding. I do have a fair amount of experience searching for jobs in the robotics industry, believe it or not. Not being a US citizen or resident definitely disadvantages me to a certain extent. Even outside military stuff, a lot of places simply do not want to deal with the aggro of visa sponsorship.
Also I don't know why people give the "just move to the midwest" advice like just the concept of 'living in the US!!' is a win in itself. It is not - it is difficult, inconvenient, and the cultural differences require a certain degree of constitutional fortitude. I do have a home country I can return to, which has some considerable charm, and will happily employ me.
If I'm staying in America, it's because I'm living/working somewhere that can offer me something I can't get back in Australia. Alabama is not, at the moment, an experience I need or crave, regardless of how cheap it is. I mean, I could also head to Kuwait or Poland.
I just got home from the store, and I forgot the goddamn milk.
Could be worse.
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
@tynic I am sorry, I didn't mean to be condescending. I misunderstood what you meant by "excluded" in your post and I didn't really say what I meant with any clarity. I meant that when I grew up here, most of my friends were American born children of immigrants who worked for private engineering companies on government contracts.
Again, I'm sorry I was rude.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
When all of you talk about it I just kind of scratch my head at it.
My brother mentioned me looking at cape cod (where he used to work) but I was just like no thanks man
I'm happy here
where I don't have to partake in a satanic ritual to find a living space
The Cape isn't much better off. You would think being hours away from Boston would mean prices would be more reasonable (outside the waterfront properties, of course) but it's not. I have an uncle down there who, due to unforseen circumstances, has to be out of his current place by the end of June. He just can't find anything at a reasonable price. To make matters worse my aunt was recently diagnosed with lung cancer so they don't need this shit right now.
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
When all of you talk about it I just kind of scratch my head at it.
My brother mentioned me looking at cape cod (where he used to work) but I was just like no thanks man
I'm happy here
where I don't have to partake in a satanic ritual to find a living space
The Cape isn't much better off. You would think being hours away from Boston would mean prices would be more reasonable (outside the waterfront properties, of course) but it's not. I have an uncle down there who, due to unforseen circumstances, has to be out of his current place by the end of June. He just can't find anything at a reasonable price. To make matters worse my aunt was recently diagnosed with lung cancer so they don't need this shit right now.
Yeah he's just trying to think of places for me to work that aren't Syracuse. Which is fine.
Maybe one day, I'm not in a rush to move, I have an okay job, it pays well, stressful as shit sometimes but I can't imagine I'll get lucky and get one of those low stress software developer gigs in a big city.
He means well, even if he is crazy about the government collapsing.
Roommate update:
still no toilet paper in the upstairs bathroom, he's gotta be bringing a roll into and out of the bathroom
He got a new pair of shoes, he has 4 pairs of shoes stacked on top of each other, 3 of them he clearly doesn't wear anymore, but yet, the trash can 2 feet to his left is too far away.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
I mentioned to some people today that I wonder if I could take 9 months holiday in lieu of maternity leave as I never plan to have children. One girl seemed amazed I would claim never to want kids and asked "But what if you fall pregnant?" and seemed just as perplexed when I said that I will never let that happen. I don't know why it's so hard for some people to imagine not wanting to reproduce.
It'd be great if you could take parental leave to bond with a new puppy.
Or with a new video game.
Drez on
Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Apparently the internet wants me to know that the gorilla Harambe from Cincinatti zoo got shot one year ago?
People really need to learn to let dumb shit go, I think. I wonder if these idiots are still making "ermahgerd" memes?
People are going to feel really dumb when it turns out the kid who fell into the cage was a time traveler sent back to assassinate the Ape Tyrant Harambe before he could kick off the Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Apparently the internet wants me to know that the gorilla Harambe from Cincinatti zoo got shot one year ago?
People really need to learn to let dumb shit go, I think. I wonder if these idiots are still making "ermahgerd" memes?
People are going to feel really dumb when it turns out the kid who fell into the cage was a time traveler sent back to assassinate the Ape Tyrant Harambe before he could kick off the Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
You're welcome, humanity.
I'm convinced Hillary was voted into office and somehow brought about nuclear annihilation, prompting a time traveler to go back and rig the election for Trump. It's the only way I can make sense of all this.
Posts
In the mean time, we're all fucked anyway, I guess.
2020, you say.
How ambitious of them.
Having one of those weeks now and it really sucks.
Everything makes me mad!
seems like something they could do in like
the 3rd quarter of 2017 if they really wanted to
So, pretty much throughout my twenties and thirties, I just seemed to have this constant societal pressure to 'settle down and start a family'. Even when I came out to people, it didn't stop. I'd get the whole 'oh its such a shame that you can't have kids yourself' at first, which morphed over time (as society itself has shifted slightly) to 'well at least you can consider adoption/surrogacy/fostering' etc etc.
At no point in any of that was a moment's thought given to the possibility that I (like countless others) actually, you know, might not want to have kids. That's frustrating and maddening in itself, but I think what really grinds my gears is the look I get from so many people when I mention that 'well, actually, I'm not really bothered because I don't even really like kids'. Honestly, I'm had reactions that would leave you thinking I'd gone up to the grave of a beloved ancestor and urinated all over it :mad:
What also really gets to me is that, in 2017, I still feel the need to conceal my HIV status because too many people still treat it like a new, highly contagious form of the Black Death :-/
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
It's not great. But usually if I'm drinking Keurig coffee, I'd drink clam juice if it was sufficiently caffeinated.
I have 100% confirmed he's been using my towel. How? I came home at 6 and today was one of his "work late nights" where he works from like 5pm to midnight, and my towel was soaaaaaaaaaaaked, and it's usually dry before lunch on my work days. Also it was evident he had just showered because the shower curtain was wide open (DUDE CLOSE IT IT HELPS SLOW DOWN MILDEW ON THE CURTAIN YOU FUCK) and the shower was wet (also he somehow manages to get water above the shower itself, I think he wrestles bears or some shit).
It also reeked of his BO, because this boy has the worst BO I've ever smelt on a human being before.
He also heard through the grapevine that I wanted to work on a game. So he's like "hey I want to be the designer and come up with concepts and story lines" and I was like "I'm doing all the programming, and will likely need to hire out the art if I ever do this, and you want to do the story line and that's all you'd contribute?"
Apparently he thinks that should get him 50/50.
Motherfucker I've seen your writing, it's not that great. I'd rather give an artist 50/50 share than you.
I know you are/were my best friend but jesus christ you are pushing me to the edge of my sanity with how much you're a slob.
If my security deposit wasn't multiple grands I would consider it.
I'm probably just going to go live in a box.
Is the box at least rent controlled?
Steam
in Boston??? It's $1400 a month without amenities.
I mean an apartment is basically a fancy box
You're basically making the Zen choice there
Y'know when you first moved to Boston, I thought I would have so much good advice for you, but since then I've only become convinced at how utterly insane the housing/rental market is in Massachusetts these days.
My brother mentioned me looking at cape cod (where he used to work) but I was just like no thanks man
I'm happy here
where I don't have to partake in a satanic ritual to find a living space
Boston seems like way too much hassle from where I'm sitting.
The most expensive apartment in this joint is a 3 bed/2 bath 1333 sq. ft. for $1300/month.
Much as Oklahoma sounds like a friggin' blast, I'm a dirty furriner, which tends* to exclude me from most military-funded or military-adjacent employment.
*not always, but it's rare.
The commonwealth realms have a muuuuuuuuch easier time breaking into that field, but yeah, still practically impossible.
Tynic, yeah. That's not my experience living in Huntsville, Alabama. There are a shitton of private tech and engineering firms that work on government contracts here.
And I had a cheaper apartment that was brand new and extremely nice when I had my own place a few years back.
ok but whether they're private companies or not is not super relevant? Most US job listings in my field require residency, and that's particularly true for anything involving military tech or military funding. I do have a fair amount of experience searching for jobs in the robotics industry, believe it or not. Not being a US citizen or resident definitely disadvantages me to a certain extent. Even outside military stuff, a lot of places simply do not want to deal with the aggro of visa sponsorship.
Also I don't know why people give the "just move to the midwest" advice like just the concept of 'living in the US!!' is a win in itself. It is not - it is difficult, inconvenient, and the cultural differences require a certain degree of constitutional fortitude. I do have a home country I can return to, which has some considerable charm, and will happily employ me.
If I'm staying in America, it's because I'm living/working somewhere that can offer me something I can't get back in Australia. Alabama is not, at the moment, an experience I need or crave, regardless of how cheap it is. I mean, I could also head to Kuwait or Poland.
Could be worse.
Again, I'm sorry I was rude.
The Cape isn't much better off. You would think being hours away from Boston would mean prices would be more reasonable (outside the waterfront properties, of course) but it's not. I have an uncle down there who, due to unforseen circumstances, has to be out of his current place by the end of June. He just can't find anything at a reasonable price. To make matters worse my aunt was recently diagnosed with lung cancer so they don't need this shit right now.
Yeah he's just trying to think of places for me to work that aren't Syracuse. Which is fine.
Maybe one day, I'm not in a rush to move, I have an okay job, it pays well, stressful as shit sometimes but I can't imagine I'll get lucky and get one of those low stress software developer gigs in a big city.
He means well, even if he is crazy about the government collapsing.
Roommate update:
still no toilet paper in the upstairs bathroom, he's gotta be bringing a roll into and out of the bathroom
He got a new pair of shoes, he has 4 pairs of shoes stacked on top of each other, 3 of them he clearly doesn't wear anymore, but yet, the trash can 2 feet to his left is too far away.
Nuh-uh, America is at least 500 times better than every other country, you just don't want to admit it!
Or with a new video game.
Foreigners: Living In the Wrong Place Since 1776.
"Immigrants: We Get the Job Done!"
People really need to learn to let dumb shit go, I think. I wonder if these idiots are still making "ermahgerd" memes?
ermahgerd haramberm
People are going to feel really dumb when it turns out the kid who fell into the cage was a time traveler sent back to assassinate the Ape Tyrant Harambe before he could kick off the Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
You're welcome, humanity.
I'm convinced Hillary was voted into office and somehow brought about nuclear annihilation, prompting a time traveler to go back and rig the election for Trump. It's the only way I can make sense of all this.