QUILTBAG: Hi gay, I’m Dad!

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  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Entaru wrote: »
    Wow. The whole policing of women's feelings is certainly a thing huh?

    No seriously, I am just processing and not really sad. It would even be ok if I was sad and you wouldn't need to fix it.

    And if you tell me to smile I will punch you.

    I'm letting my nails grow so I can claw some eyes out if needed.

    Also!

    SeidkonaCurly_BraceCambiataBrodypimentoElldrenmysticjuicernever dieAnialosInfamyDeferredShadowenToxH3KnucklesApocalyptusBlackhawk1313tzeentchlingSorceFencingsaxwanderingJaysonFourI ZimbraRhesus PositiveVeldrinFoolOnTheHill
  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Apologies of this has already been mentioned, but HBO currently has a new dramatic series based on the life of Anne Lister, called Gentleman Jack. It begins with her taking over the administration of Shibden Hall.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Lister

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
    wanderingShadowenmysticjuicerJedocAndy JoeH3KnucklesKana
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Got an interview today and am trying hard to not flip my shit but also I'm literally the only applicant. Anyway here's the outfit of the day

    3clipseCambiataOne Thousand CablesJansonJaysonFourDesert LeviathanBrodySeidkonaThe BetgirlRhesus PositivechromdompimentoForceVoidnever dieElldrenmysticjuicerBahamutZEROXehalusAnialosCurly_BraceFencingsaxApocalyptusH3KnucklesMcFodderShadowenFleur de AlysreplacewythyVeldrinSorceMsAnthropyBendery It Like Beckhamtzeentchlingchr1sh4ll3ttb3Blackhawk1313LucedesPoketpixieTankHammer
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Hire all business witches.

    3clipseJaysonFourBrodyCouscousSeidkonaRhesus PositivepimentoForceVoidnever dieElldrenmysticjuicer21stCenturyFencingsaxErin The RedApocalyptusH3KnucklesShadowenVeldrinSorceMsAnthropytzeentchlingchr1sh4ll3ttb3Blackhawk1313Lucedes
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Hire all business witches.

    "Gwynith, Astorian, Magdalena: what do the auguries say about our Q3 profits?"

    "Lo, shall it be a blood sea under a dark moon. The earthmother rises, and with her, vengeance! Vengeance and a black tide sweeping the folly of man away e'er more."

    "Nice! We'll get a pizza party!"

    SeidkonaRhesus PositiveVyolynceSporkAndrewpimentoForceVoidkimenever dieElldrenAndy JoemysticjuicerInfamyDeferred21stCenturyAnialosaStoryAboutYouFencingsaxErin The RedCambiataApocalyptusH3KnucklesShadowenInfidelVeldrinSorceMahnmutchr1sh4ll3ttb3Blackhawk1313Poketpixietynic
  • KayKay What we need... Is a little bit of PANIC.Registered User regular
    ew9y0DD.png
    3DS FCode: 1993-7512-8991
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  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    edited May 2019
    Meh. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

    Overheard someone referring to me as "it".

    Good thing I got a new job. Still gonna report it though.

    Mentally I am angry but I am also noting it is triggering some dysphoria. So great.

    Seidkona on
    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    credeikiElldrenCambiatapimentoShadowenMsAnthropyknitdan
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Got an interview today and am trying hard to not flip my shit but also I'm literally the only applicant. Anyway here's the outfit of the day


    I GOT THAT JOB

    ForceVoidInfidelBahamutZEROH3KnucklesElldrenInfamyDeferredMcFodderFencingsaxMadicanPhoenix-DThe BetgirlpimentolonelyahavaKetarreplacewythyCurly_BraceJansonRhesus PositiveApocalyptusthe cheatevilbobSeidkonamori1972SorceVyolyncePsykoma21stCenturymysticjuicerDouglasDangerMsAnthropyBrodyBendery It Like BeckhamtzeentchlingStericaLuvTheMonkeyI ZimbraN1tSt4lkerJedocCouscous3clipsemasterofmetroidOne Thousand CablesProlegomenaPeenEl SkidAnialosnever dieDoctorArchFoolOnTheHillGrogWyvernGundiMalReynoldschr1sh4ll3ttb3CelloShadowenLabelDesert LeviathanDer Waffle MouscredeikiCasual EddyknitdanBlackhawk1313aStoryAboutYouButlerSporkAndrewLucedesJaysonFourPoketpixiewanderingFleur de AlysV1mtynicToxDE?ADBroloTankHammerBhow
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Entaru wrote: »
    Meh. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

    Overheard someone referring to me as "it".

    Good thing I got a new job. Still gonna report it though.

    Mentally I am angry but I am also noting it is triggering some dysphoria. So great.

    Hey this is absolutely inexcusable and I really hope those people get a serious fucking talking to.

    I'll fight somebody if you need. Ain't got time for shitheads. They go in the trash

    lonelyahavaElldrenApocalyptusSeidkonaSorce3clipseMsAnthropyBrodyI ZimbraAnialosnever diechr1sh4ll3ttb3CelloShadowenH3KnucklesaStoryAboutYouJaysonFour
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Today marks 3 months on HRT. I have experienced zero changes. It's pretty disappointing and annoying!

    credeiki
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Smof, have you had the chance yet to meet other trans dudes around you who might be further along? At the meetup I was completely blown away by the trans men there and they also talked about T levels and stuff.

  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    Today marks 3 months on HRT. I have experienced zero changes. It's pretty disappointing and annoying!

    You're probably the worst person to notice changes tbh. You see yourself every minute of every day.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    This forum has taken everything from me
    This hurts but I deserve it

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  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Coming from the other direction, but yeah I couldn't notice shit at 3 months. It's not that progress is slow so much as the things that change are only really overtly noticeable to you after a while (like how you don't really notice your hair growth day to day but after a few weeks it sort of dawns on you "oh that's really grown out huh")

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited May 2019
    Platy wrote: »
    Smof, have you had the chance yet to meet other trans dudes around you who might be further along? At the meetup I was completely blown away by the trans men there and they also talked about T levels and stuff.

    Yeah I've met a couple, they both transitioned years ago. They look great. Which doesn't make me feel any more patient. A lot of people have fully broken voices by 3 months, I got nothin'.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    I think having a fully broken voice after three months is probably a real rarity. It's certainly not something I've seen.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    This forum has taken everything from me
    This hurts but I deserve it

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    There are things the endocrinologist told me to expect which have not happened. I don't really know why I'm arguing this point.

  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    Sorry, I don't mean to argue, I was trying to be reassuring.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    This forum has taken everything from me
    This hurts but I deserve it

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I'm probably being touchy. I hear "changes are so slow you won't notice" quite a lot. It doesn't really make not seeing any changes feel any better. And when one of those changes you've been told to expect early on is to stop getting a period, it's pretty hard not to notice when you get one. And it makes you feel like shit. Knowing that things will probably happen at some point in the future doesn't do much to how I feel day to day. I'm not having a go. I'm just venting.

    mysticjuicerErin The Redtynic
  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    I completely understand why you need to vent, and honestly I was being patronising and apologise. I'm sorry things are going slowly for you :(.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    This forum has taken everything from me
    This hurts but I deserve it

  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    I'm probably being touchy. I hear "changes are so slow you won't notice" quite a lot. It doesn't really make not seeing any changes feel any better. And when one of those changes you've been told to expect early on is to stop getting a period, it's pretty hard not to notice when you get one. And it makes you feel like shit. Knowing that things will probably happen at some point in the future doesn't do much to how I feel day to day. I'm not having a go. I'm just venting.

    Do you know if the T levels are as high as they should be or was the endo being conservative at first? If it’s possible you should go back to them and be like YO THIS SHIT ISN’T WORKING and see if they’re receptive to upping the dose or giving you a different method of administration

    I know a cis guy who was doing the absorption through skin stuff and it just didn’t work for him and he had to switch to injections so maybe something like that...

    Cause honestly no I will say from my perspective that you will notice some stuff after a couple months and if you are not noticing any stuff at all it probably means your body isn’t getting enough T for whatever reason

    Like yeah other people notice more change in me than I see in myself—was interesting at the tattoo place for example for me to be like oh yeah sry I have small arms and they were like uhhh no not really—but you can definitely judge that stuff is happening

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    air-photos.tumblr.com
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    That said my voice is one of the things that, man, idk
    I can consciously pitch it lower and attenuate my inflections and all that but I don’t because ???? Who the fuck knows
    It’s easier when I’m playing in a roleplaying game and can unselfconsciously change my speech patterns to be someone else :/

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    air-photos.tumblr.com
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    credeiki wrote: »
    I'm probably being touchy. I hear "changes are so slow you won't notice" quite a lot. It doesn't really make not seeing any changes feel any better. And when one of those changes you've been told to expect early on is to stop getting a period, it's pretty hard not to notice when you get one. And it makes you feel like shit. Knowing that things will probably happen at some point in the future doesn't do much to how I feel day to day. I'm not having a go. I'm just venting.

    Do you know if the T levels are as high as they should be or was the endo being conservative at first? If it’s possible you should go back to them and be like YO THIS SHIT ISN’T WORKING and see if they’re receptive to upping the dose or giving you a different method of administration

    I know a cis guy who was doing the absorption through skin stuff and it just didn’t work for him and he had to switch to injections so maybe something like that...

    Cause honestly no I will say from my perspective that you will notice some stuff after a couple months and if you are not noticing any stuff at all it probably means your body isn’t getting enough T for whatever reason

    Like yeah other people notice more change in me than I see in myself—was interesting at the tattoo place for example for me to be like oh yeah sry I have small arms and they were like uhhh no not really—but you can definitely judge that stuff is happening

    I have a followup booked with the endo but it's not til August. I got bloods done a few weeks ago and my levels are in the right range, but at the bottom end of the range. I'm sure I need a higher dose but I guess I have to wait another 3 months.

    credeiki
  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    edited May 2019
    NHS approach definitely seems to be slow and steady/conservative. The last year has been slow and it's only now that they've gotten my T low enough, even then the changes don't feel huge.

    What sucks is going round and round in my head wondering if I'm being impatient or if I can't see the changes (didn't want to take before pics, now regretting it) or if my levels are off. It's fucking exhausting. Thankfully I'm in a good place right now and can deal with it a little better, but there's always that little niggle of wondering if I'm being given the right treatment/dose.

    Grog on
  • 21stCentury21stCentury A lovely pixel artist and gamecrafter [They/Them]Registered User regular
    i need to vent a bit.
    I'm really unhappy about being ace, lately. IDK if it's caused by my recent bout of depression or causing it but it's also not a good feeling. Maybe i should see a professional but i'm terrified if i do they'll treat my orientation as a pathology and refuse to help in a way that works for me. Like, i know there's a lot of people out there who don't believe asexuality is a thing or believe it's an active lie, to hide various pathologies, some of which are very much socially unacceptable. So that leaves me scared to seek help because i feel the odds are that i can't get help or will get extremely bad help. I'm usually fine with being ace, too... but I think I'm in a spot where i need close companionship. But not too close.

    Satanic Jesus
  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    Asexual doesn't always also mean aromantic, being ace doesn't mean that you can't want someone to snuggle with sometimes, or to have a romantic connection / life partnership type situation with someone. How you might go about finding someone with whom you can have that connection with I don't know [I'm pretty much both ace and aro so.. yea] but you're not like.. doing it wrong if you seek companionship while being ace. You just need to find someone who gets and respects your boundaries and who is compatible with them.

    Main thing is to find your you first, and label second. Don't feel pressured to conform to a label, even after you've decided on it.

    never dieFencingsaxElldrenCreaganCurly_Brace
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I got one of the letters I need for HRT from my psychotherapist and I expected to be happier

    I also need to show it to the psychiatrist I'm going to see next week and what's in there doesn't feel very representative of me as a person, the pronoun usage also bugs me

    I hope next week goes well, this could take anywhere from one to six sessions

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Ace has many different variations among the spectrum and a desire for companionship is pretty common among them, so if that's how you're feeling then try to act on it I think. Granted this is coming from someone who is aromantic so I'm not exactly speaking from experience, but most people seem to seek out such relationships regardless of their orientations so it's not like it's at odds with being ace

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Did they fuck up the pronouns?

    I'm glad you've been able to make a bit of progress, even if it's only small.

    Elldren
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    It's "he/she" throughout and I would've preferred just she

  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    I can't stand "he/she" in writing even when it is not essentially misgendering someone.

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    That is... uh... I don't know, I kind of want to slow clap

  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles Jack of all interests... ...master of noneRegistered User regular
    edited May 2019
    Platy wrote: »
    It's "he/she" throughout and I would've preferred just she

    That seems kind of shitty for a therapist to pull.
    Couscous wrote: »
    I can't stand "he/she" in writing even when it is not essentially misgendering someone.

    At the very least, I feel like 'they' is much more polite if you're unclear which pronoun to use.

    H3Knuckles on
    If you're curious about my icon; it's an update of the early Lego Castle theme's "Black Falcons" faction.
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  • StasisStasis Registered User regular
    The only way I could excuse that is if it's just a pre-written, copy-pasted letter, but I suspect it is not, and even then, would it really kill them to take two minutes to insert correct pronouns before printing the letter?

    H3Knuckles
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    If it's a pre-written letter it should just say "they". He/she, in addition to being clunky as hell to read, is shittily binary.

    Any licensed therapist who's actually qualified to deal with gender should know this!

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Speaking of binary bullshit, my friend had a baby yesterday so this morning I wanted to buy them a card. All the ones with cute designs were so aggressively gendered, and like one that just said "new baby". I feel like writing in it "sorry I got you a boring card but I struggled to find one that didn't reference your newborn child's genitals".

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    my sister is having a baby later this year and I am dreading it. It's gonna be a nightmare whirlpool of binary cis bullshit

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    Brovid HasselsmofSeidkonaErin The RedlonelyahavaWyvernCurly_Brace
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    The letter is in German so no "they", even if that had been an option I would've preferred "she"

    It's not a pre-written letter, it's more like an evaluation and summary

    Anyway this is not a big problem and there might be some reason for it, I just hope my meeting with the psychiatrist next week goes well

    mysticjuicer
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Hmm we’re applying to go to some sort of gay corporate conference “out and equal” and I’ve been asked to provide my gender identity (optional but will strengthen our application if I do)

    ummmmmm

    I don’t know what my gender identity is

    I legit can’t answer

    Shit I seriously do not know how to answer that

    Ummmmmmmm

    help...

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    air-photos.tumblr.com
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited May 2019
    Questioning should be a valid response

    Fencingsax on
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  • chr1sh4ll3ttb3chr1sh4ll3ttb3 A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    credeiki wrote: »
    Hmm we’re applying to go to some sort of gay corporate conference “out and equal” and I’ve been asked to provide my gender identity (optional but will strengthen our application if I do)

    ummmmmm

    I don’t know what my gender identity is

    I legit can’t answer

    Shit I seriously do not know how to answer that

    Ummmmmmmm

    help...

    Can you put down "badass" for your gender identity?

    Satanic JesusPoketpixieH3KnucklesN1tSt4lkerAnialos
This discussion has been closed.