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The Increasingly Poor Decisions of [Burkman and Wohl]
ArbitraryDescriptor
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Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman are bad at things. Specifically: this thread is about their recent failed, hilariously elaborate attempt at trying to frame Robert Mueller for sexual assault while undermining the #metoo movement and journalism in general.
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/deciphering-the-weirdest-episode-yet-from-the-mueller-russia-probe-saga
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/claims-of-a-bombshell-allegation-against-mueller-further-implode
They have been referred to the FBI for investigation of allegations that they solicited false testimony, in exchange for money, in order to derail the Special Counsel's investigation.
In addition to claiming Christoph Waltz and a number of supermodels worked for Wohl's made up PI firm, posting pictures of Wohl's ex and claiming it was the totally-real-person Carolyn Cass, the alleged victim, they also apparently did a dumb thing with DocuSign which, if we're all really good, hopefully @spool32 will explain again.
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/deciphering-the-weirdest-episode-yet-from-the-mueller-russia-probe-saga
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/claims-of-a-bombshell-allegation-against-mueller-further-implode
They have been referred to the FBI for investigation of allegations that they solicited false testimony, in exchange for money, in order to derail the Special Counsel's investigation.
In addition to claiming Christoph Waltz and a number of supermodels worked for Wohl's made up PI firm, posting pictures of Wohl's ex and claiming it was the totally-real-person Carolyn Cass, the alleged victim, they also apparently did a dumb thing with DocuSign which, if we're all really good, hopefully @spool32 will explain again.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
One of the things they did was use DocuSign to sign the affidavit alleging this rape. Some folks have suggested that this is dumb because it's so easy to fake a signature but the opposite is actually true, as somebody who has implemented DocuSign for a company before - they stake their reputation, their entire business model, on those signatures being verifiable and traceable.
When you use DocuSign to sign a document, you can do it with a stylus or your finger on a touch surface, with your mouse, or you can select one of a number of font styles to represent your name. They chose one of the defaults, I guess thinking that it'd answer handwriting challenges - but DocuSign tracks and maintains all the info about which email accounts those documents touched, which accounts signed them, and when. Instead of screening people from learning the identity of the signer, if asked by a judge DocuSign can easily produce the entire chain of custody including dates, times, sender, and recipients.
Wohl would have been better signing the doc lefthanded than he is having used DocuSign - that generic signature makes it far easier to expose the grift.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Daily Beast reporter.
So was the Mueller thing just an offshoot of a plain old scam he was running?
I am still so confused as to what their endgame was here.
So now its fraud and/or grand larceny.
It was literally "haha I'm rich and bored, fuck you"
Mueller was the objective behind this, and I'm guessing that this other woman was just an easy opportunity to do a side grift.
Which he could have gotten away with if he'd done the bare minimum of registering a couple of fake email addresses and not stuck his fucking face in as the CEO.
Christ, this whole thing is like watching a version of ocenas 11 where the team is utterly incompetent at each of their specialties and every step of their intricate plan just straight up fails.
What's extra weird is he was apparently listing his agency on Craigslist.
And what's extra dumb is, according to the article, he signed a contract with the woman for whom he was 'investigating' under the alias Matthew Cohen. So definitely fraud.
He is a wealthy white male in American society, with a father who is all-in on Trump. I imagine that is where most of it comes from.
If you are shielded from consequences your whole life, this is what happens. And given that his father's Twitter bio says 'father of @JacobAWohl +3', it's clear that dad is 100% behind playing favourites.
“Man it’s so easy to fake this stuff! Anyone can claim anything about some public figure!”
“Yep! Just like google them, find out some place they were at and build the story from there!”
“Yep it’s so easy! Like we could just frame Mueller!”
“Wait... you thinking what I’m thinking!?”
This is amazing: He admitted that doesn't have a PI license in the press conference. I honestly can't believe he was actively seeking and fleecing marks with the same company he pulled this shit with.
No, wait, yes I can. He started the Twitter account back in spring. The fake journalist and Medium article we're in August. I thought he was just running a long, sloppy con, but maybe he was just idly grifting until with it until they finally got the idea to pull this shit.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
Law and Order ≠ Justice
But he didn't do it! It was Matthew Cohen! He's...uh...from Canada...
And yet they thought they could actually pull this off after having put forward so little effort or planning they actually make James O'keefe look like a genius.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
“The left is faking this! It’s all a political hit job!”
“Nope. This is what THAT looks like and it’s sad.”
Somewhere in hell, Lee Atwater is shaking his head sadly.
It's possible he was advertising in Craigslist to sell the illusion; but it seems more likely he was just running a con. It's kind of his thing.
Mueller was in DC with FBI escort on the day of the claim.
The specific named floor of the hotel is a gymnasium and not rooms.
The picture of Cass supposedly taken Thursday in DC before she chickened out on the press conference was actually taken in LAX, and is a publicly posted picture of Wohl and his girlfriend from years ago.
Carolyne Cass's first name is spelled three different ways and last name two ways on the documents shown.
Two other women were contacted and offered tens of thousands of dollars to make similar claims. One went to the press, one to the FBI.
I missing any? Lot of holes in this cheese wheel.
Id like to draw a parallel to the Kavanaugh or Nassar or other accusations. While they all included unverifiable claims, they were built on a platform of verifiable facts and contributing circumstance. Lying about something that prompts questions is really hard. Every facet of this collapses under scrutiny. It's really bad as lies go, but this is true of lies in general, under scrutiny and repeat telling they break down.
No lie, this is exactly what's going on in my Shadowrun campaign
I set up a fake celebrity impersonator company to infiltrate a party for a heist, and in the process got another gig to make appearances at another party
This guy is my level when it comes to coming up with schemes: me, whose name is synonymous with bad plans amongst local roleplayers
Next thing you know he'll be trying to impersonate somebody without knowing their native language, or eating a tomato that he found in a sarcophagus
Wohl complained in his press conference a bunch about the press calling his teenage sister
Because Wohl used her phone number as the Surefire Intelligent website registration phone number
C'mon! If it isn't nailed down, then you take it and/or eat it. If it's still breathing, you shoot it until it's dead then search the body for things to take or eat.
Logic!
Do not engage the Watermelons.
I imagine nobody in that family is exactly struggling in horrific privation, but that makes me feel a bit sorry for his siblings.
Assuming the +3 are under 18 he may not want to put their names. It could be listed that way for actual good reasons.
Come on now, that's not fair.
Dastardly and Muttley put a hell of a lot more effort in. Plus, they had a clear objective behind their schemes.
I don't feel that bad.
If he's as much of a pro-Trump true believer as it seems, he presumably shares the Trump conservative opinion that being subjected to a false accusation of sexual assault will completely ruin your life. Which means that he was deliberately trying to ruin the life of someone he knows to be innocent to score some political points.
That's pretty fucking dispicable.
Projection, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, amen.
They truly believe that Blasey Ford and women like her are fake accusers trying to take down powerful men to further their political allies. They believe, really and truly, that Geoge Soros and Hillary Clinton sat down in a Clinton Foundation office and invented Blasey Ford from thin air, because it's something they would do. And those guys are dumb libtards so obviously two smart genius conservative prodigies like them will do way better.
Turns out lying is really hard.
Everything the Right claims the Left does they've either done themselves or tried to do or wanted to do. 100% without fail. Every accusation they make should immediately launch an investigation into whether someone on the Right did the thing they just accused someone of.
So of course they tried to do this. And they will try again, but probably smarter because how could it not be.
O'Keefe's really shot his credibility bolt at this point, especially after the Washington Post lit him on fire during the Alabama senate election campaign. He's cried wolf often and badly enough that people probably wouldn't believe him if he cried it from inside a wolf which had just devoured him.
These days the only people I've seen taking O'Keefe seriously are on Twitter, and from the way they go about it I'm morally certain a large chunk of them aren't actual real human accounts.