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The result of this [love] thread is pointedly clear

ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
Otto Titsling, inventor and Kraut
Had nothing to get very worked up about
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak
He fled to the opera at least twice a week

One night at the opera he saw an Aida
Whose bust was so big it would often impede her
Bug-eyed, he watched her fall into the pit
Done in by the weight of those terrible tits

Oh my god! Thar she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess
Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds
And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
Flood his soul. He ran back to his workshop
Where he futzed and futzed and futzed

For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
To lift and mold the female breast
To point the small ones to the sky
To keep the big ones high and dry

Every night he'd sweat and snort
Searching for the right support
He tried some string and paper clips
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!

Well, he stitched and he slaved
He slaved and he stitched
Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant
Yes! He had invented the world's first
Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder
Hooray!

Exhausted but ecstatic, Otto ran
Out to the diva bearing the prototype in his hot little hand
Now, the diva did not wanna try the darn thing on
But, after many initial mishaps
She finally did
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
From her mouth
Was so loud that it was mistaken by some
To be the early onset of the Seraken Winds
Which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
With a vengeance!
Ahhhhh!

But little did Otto know
At the moment of his greatest triumph
Lurking under the diva's bed
Was none other than the very worst
Of the French patent thieves
Phillip DeBrassiere
And Phil was watching the scene
With a great deal of interest!

Later that night, while the Brunhilda slept
Into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore
Till he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door

Crying, "Oh my god! What joy! What bliss!
"I'm gonna make me a million from this!
"Every woman in the world will wanna buy one
"I will have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan."

The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?

And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
XaquinStraightziJedocDouglasDanger3clipsePlatyElvenshaesarukunJoolanderSorceHacksawknitdan
«13456727

Posts

  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 1
    That is a good poem

    Edit: interestingly, in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme

    Munkus Beaver on
    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    Currently I'm going with more of a boob band. Hopefully as they come in more I can upgrade.

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    oh my god munkus

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Usagi3clipsepookaStraightzisarukunASimPerson
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    ceres wrote: »
    oh my god munkus

    What? They rhyme, just not in my accent.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • OghulkOghulk biggest externality low-energy economistRegistered User regular
    I'm still stuck on the glove thing

    If it's on the right hand and it's turned inside out it's still a right-handed glove...right?

    raoADVy.png
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    I'm still stuck on the glove thing

    If it's on the right hand and it's turned inside out it's still a right-handed glove...right?

    If you turn a glove meant for a specific hand inside out, it fits on the opposite hand.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    I'm still stuck on the glove thing

    If it's on the right hand and it's turned inside out it's still a right-handed glove...right?

    If you turn a glove meant for a specific hand inside out, it fits on the opposite hand.

    If you wanna be technical about it, the part of the glove that's meant to be the palm is now on the inside, and therefore the glove can no longer be backwards and could be said to fit either hand.

    If you insist that the palm of the glove be touching the palm of your hand when it's turned inside out, then it goes from right-handed to left.

    The visualization I like to use is to imagine wearing a latex glove on your right hand and touching the tips of your fingers together on each hand (pinky to pinky, ring finger to ring finger, etc). Now imagine your friend grabbing the base of the glove and peeling it off of one hand and directly over to the other.

    ceresKamiroOmnipotentBagelPsykomaElvenshaeNechriah
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Bobble wrote: »
    Oghulk wrote: »
    I'm still stuck on the glove thing

    If it's on the right hand and it's turned inside out it's still a right-handed glove...right?

    If you turn a glove meant for a specific hand inside out, it fits on the opposite hand.

    If you wanna be technical about it, the part of the glove that's meant to be the palm is now on the inside, and therefore the glove can no longer be backwards and could be said to fit either hand.

    If you insist that the palm of the glove be touching the palm of your hand when it's turned inside out, then it goes from right-handed to left.

    The visualization I like to use is to imagine wearing a latex glove on your right hand and touching the tips of your fingers together on each hand (pinky to pinky, ring finger to ring finger, etc). Now imagine your friend grabbing the base of the glove and peeling it off of one hand and directly over to the other.

    This is a very good way to actually explain it.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    StraightziOmnipotentBagelNechriahsarukunKwoaruGreen
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    I really got hung up on this glove thing

    I play games on ps3 and ps4. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
    Sorce
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    That is a good poem

    Edit: though in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme

    This is why people call you pathologically obsessed with being technically correct, my dude.

    drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    I always answered that question with 'just wear mittens and you won't have this damn problem'

    .... I never got messages on okcupid

    3clipseElvenshaeNechriahJoolanderKruite
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    That is a good poem

    Edit: though in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme

    This is why people call you pathologically obsessed with being technically correct, my dude.

    . . .

    I just said that it didn't rhyme in my accent. Not that it doesn't rhyme. I can hear how it rhymes when you say "one" with a different accent.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    That is a good poem

    Edit: though in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme

    This is why people call you pathologically obsessed with being technically correct, my dude.

    . . .

    I just said that it didn't rhyme in my accent. Not that it doesn't rhyme. I can hear how it rhymes when you say "one" with a different accent.

    I mean he is technically correct

  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    It depends a lot on the glove.

    My old work gloves turned inside out fit no hand at all.

    StraightziGreenJohn C. Turbine
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    It depends a lot on the glove.

    My old work gloves turned inside out fit no hand at all.

    Yeah I tend to wear snug leather gloves, and they don't actually fit inside out, but the palm reverses, which is the essence of the question

  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    What accent do you have, Munkus? I legitimately want to know how these sound.

  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    What accent do you have, Munkus? I legitimately want to know how these sound.

    Southern US. When I say "one" it sounds like wun with a heavy emphasis on the u.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    That is a good poem

    Edit: though in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme

    This is why people call you pathologically obsessed with being technically correct, my dude.

    . . .

    I just said that it didn't rhyme in my accent. Not that it doesn't rhyme. I can hear how it rhymes when you say "one" with a different accent.

    Okay. And why post that? Does it contribute anything to the thread or the poem itself or the discussion about the poem? It is just you popping in to say "well actually that one rhyme doesn't work in the way I personally speak English." That's about as much of a "well TECHNICALLY" post that you can ever possibly make.

    Which like, fine, if you feel overwhelmingly compelled to point out every little technical inaccuracy or misstep in something you do you, but then don't get arsy with people when they point out that that's what you're doing.

    drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
    Grey GhostChincymcchilla
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    In most American accents, "one" would sound like "wun" and the ending sound in Taiwan would be "wahn" or a short o sound

    QRK7dOP.gif
    PSN: GrahamCR | 3DS Friend Code: 4399-2068-5090 | Switch Friend Code: SW-7440-9863-2027
    StraightziXaquin3clipseLabelSkeithElvenshaedarunia106OghulkNechriahsarukunJoolanderSorceKaplarHacksawStiltsfurliongodmodeJohn C. Turbine
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    It also a comedic poem that didn't need any breakdown of pronunciation at all

    QRK7dOP.gif
    PSN: GrahamCR | 3DS Friend Code: 4399-2068-5090 | Switch Friend Code: SW-7440-9863-2027
    3clipseceresNechriahsarukunDrZiplockJoolanderSorceStiltsTynnangodmodeJohn C. Turbine
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    I’m feeling a lack of love on this love thread y’all.

    After work I am meeting up with my girl to trim the nails of her one eyed chihuahua wiener dog mix.

    I love that little dude.

    3clipsecereschromdomElvenshaeNechriahErin The RedsarukunKaplar
  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    What accent do you have, Munkus? I legitimately want to know how these sound.

    Southern US. When I say "one" it sounds like wun with a heavy emphasis on the u.

    Do you say Taiwan with more of a "waah" sound?

    ceres
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited February 1
    man this ain't D&D, stop being so serious. Who cares why anyone posts anything. We have polls on bacon vs. sausage for goodness sake!

    edit: the goal is nice wholesome internet fun!

    Xaquin on
    Pinfeldorf
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Veldrin wrote: »
    What accent do you have, Munkus? I legitimately want to know how these sound.

    Southern US. When I say "one" it sounds like wun with a heavy emphasis on the u.

    Do you say Taiwan with more of a "waah" sound?

    Yup.
    3clipse wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    That is a good poem

    Edit: though in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme

    This is why people call you pathologically obsessed with being technically correct, my dude.

    . . .

    I just said that it didn't rhyme in my accent. Not that it doesn't rhyme. I can hear how it rhymes when you say "one" with a different accent.

    Okay. And why post that? Does it contribute anything to the thread or the poem itself or the discussion about the poem? It is just you popping in to say "well actually that one rhyme doesn't work in the way I personally speak English." That's about as much of a "well TECHNICALLY" post that you can ever possibly make.

    Which like, fine, if you feel overwhelmingly compelled to point out every little technical inaccuracy or misstep in something you do you, but then don't get arsy with people when they point out that that's what you're doing.

    I posted it because I thought it was interesting.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Veldrin wrote: »
    What accent do you have, Munkus? I legitimately want to know how these sound.

    Southern US. When I say "one" it sounds like wun with a heavy emphasis on the u.

    Do you say Taiwan with more of a "waah" sound?

    Yeah, most American accents would say it somewhere around TIE-wahn

    BrainleechSorce
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    man this ain't D&D, stop being so serious. Who cares why anyone posts anything. We have polls on bacon vs. sausage for goodness sake!

    edit: the goal is nice wholesome internet fun!

    What is "foon"

    drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
    XaquinElvenshae
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited February 1
    3clipse wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    man this ain't D&D, stop being so serious. Who cares why anyone posts anything. We have polls on bacon vs. sausage for goodness sake!

    edit: the goal is nice wholesome internet fun!

    What is "foon"

    It's mostly eggs, evaporated milk, and sweetened condensed milk, but I like to add a jigger of rum and a health splash of cinnamon

    edit: and sugar!

    Xaquin on
    Veldrin
  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    Great second date last night, planning to try to do something on Saturday. I might not be imaging this after all and ohgod my apartment is not clean enough if it gets that far.

    Erin The Redsarukunhonovere
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    man this ain't D&D, stop being so serious. Who cares why anyone posts anything. We have polls on bacon vs. sausage for goodness sake!

    edit: the goal is nice wholesome internet fun!

    What is "foon"

    A magical land located on the other side of a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago!

    QRK7dOP.gif
    PSN: GrahamCR | 3DS Friend Code: 4399-2068-5090 | Switch Friend Code: SW-7440-9863-2027
    MorivethErin The Red
  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    man this ain't D&D, stop being so serious. Who cares why anyone posts anything. We have polls on bacon vs. sausage for goodness sake!

    edit: the goal is nice wholesome internet fun!

    What is "foon"

    it's what you get when you turn a spork inside out

    Xaquin3clipseOmnipotentBagelMunkus BeaverElvenshaechrishallett83Erin The RedsarukunNightDragonAistanJoolanderBrovid HasselsmofDynagripHacksawTynnangodmodeGreenJohn C. Turbine
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    I mean, poems in no way need to perfectly rhyme, they never have and they usually don't. It's a slant rhyme.

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    It was fun when the forums were merged this year.

    I play games on ps3 and ps4. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
    XaquinceresElvenshaesarukunDynagripSorceKaplar
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    I mean, poems in no way need to perfectly rhyme, they never have and they usually don't. It's a slant rhyme.

    But what of these reports I've received about... hmm yes, a man from Nantucket?

    QRK7dOP.gif
    PSN: GrahamCR | 3DS Friend Code: 4399-2068-5090 | Switch Friend Code: SW-7440-9863-2027
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I mean, poems in no way need to perfectly rhyme, they never have and they usually don't. It's a slant rhyme.

    But what of these reports I've received about... hmm yes, a man from Nantucket?

    Tried to rhyme, but gave up and said "fuck it"

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    XaquinElvenshaeSorce
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I mean aida and her come waaaaaay before your get to that point and is a more egregious mismatch, and half the song is spoken with no rhymes whatsoever, I'm not sure how one gets all the way to the end to focus on that one little thing. Speaking as the worst pedant I have ever met, it feels bizarre to make that the thing.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    OmnipotentBagelsarukunStilts
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    All I'm saying is, this is the reason everyone hates moral philosophy professors.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    OmnipotentBagelStraightziNechriahEinzelwebguy20SorceHacksawStiltsTynnanPinfeldorfMcFodder
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    These two words, he declared
    close enough to be paired,
    And his poem was finished under budget.

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    XaquinElvenshaesarukunTynnanJohn C. Turbine
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    ceres wrote: »
    I mean aida and her come waaaaaay before your get to that point and is a more egregious mismatch, and half the song is spoken with no rhymes whatsoever, I'm not sure how one gets all the way to the end to focus on that one little thing. Speaking as the worst pedant I have ever met, it feels bizarre to make that the thing.

    I thought it was interesting because it does rhyme, just not in my accent.

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    It's a slant rhyme, calm yo entire tits

    OmnipotentBagelsarukunDrZiplockMortal SkyNightDragonJoolanderTynnan
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    It's a slant rhyme, calm yo entire tits

    But how should I do that? Should I use a titsling, or a brassiere?

    XaquinceresBobblesarukunJoolanderSorce
«13456727
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