The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
The result of this [love] thread is pointedly clear
ceres
When the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
When the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
Otto Titsling, inventor and Kraut
Had nothing to get very worked up about
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak
He fled to the opera at least twice a week
One night at the opera he saw an Aida
Whose bust was so big it would often impede her
Bug-eyed, he watched her fall into the pit
Done in by the weight of those terrible tits
Oh my god! Thar she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess
Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds
And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
Flood his soul. He ran back to his workshop
Where he futzed and futzed and futzed
For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
To lift and mold the female breast
To point the small ones to the sky
To keep the big ones high and dry
Every night he'd sweat and snort
Searching for the right support
He tried some string and paper clips
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
Well, he stitched and he slaved
He slaved and he stitched
Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant
Yes! He had invented the world's first
Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder
Hooray!
Exhausted but ecstatic, Otto ran
Out to the diva bearing the prototype in his hot little hand
Now, the diva did not wanna try the darn thing on
But, after many initial mishaps
She finally did
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
From her mouth
Was so loud that it was mistaken by some
To be the early onset of the Seraken Winds
Which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
With a vengeance!
Ahhhhh!
But little did Otto know
At the moment of his greatest triumph
Lurking under the diva's bed
Was none other than the very worst
Of the French patent thieves
Phillip DeBrassiere
And Phil was watching the scene
With a great deal of interest!
Later that night, while the Brunhilda slept
Into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore
Till he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door
Crying, "Oh my god! What joy! What bliss!
"I'm gonna make me a million from this!
"Every woman in the world will wanna buy one
"I will have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan."
The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
Had nothing to get very worked up about
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak
He fled to the opera at least twice a week
One night at the opera he saw an Aida
Whose bust was so big it would often impede her
Bug-eyed, he watched her fall into the pit
Done in by the weight of those terrible tits
Oh my god! Thar she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess
Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds
And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
Flood his soul. He ran back to his workshop
Where he futzed and futzed and futzed
For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
To lift and mold the female breast
To point the small ones to the sky
To keep the big ones high and dry
Every night he'd sweat and snort
Searching for the right support
He tried some string and paper clips
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
Well, he stitched and he slaved
He slaved and he stitched
Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant
Yes! He had invented the world's first
Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder
Hooray!
Exhausted but ecstatic, Otto ran
Out to the diva bearing the prototype in his hot little hand
Now, the diva did not wanna try the darn thing on
But, after many initial mishaps
She finally did
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
From her mouth
Was so loud that it was mistaken by some
To be the early onset of the Seraken Winds
Which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
With a vengeance!
Ahhhhh!
But little did Otto know
At the moment of his greatest triumph
Lurking under the diva's bed
Was none other than the very worst
Of the French patent thieves
Phillip DeBrassiere
And Phil was watching the scene
With a great deal of interest!
Later that night, while the Brunhilda slept
Into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore
Till he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door
Crying, "Oh my god! What joy! What bliss!
"I'm gonna make me a million from this!
"Every woman in the world will wanna buy one
"I will have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan."
The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
+13
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Edit: interestingly, in my accent, one and Taiwan don’t rhyme
What? They rhyme, just not in my accent.
If you turn a glove meant for a specific hand inside out, it fits on the opposite hand.
If you wanna be technical about it, the part of the glove that's meant to be the palm is now on the inside, and therefore the glove can no longer be backwards and could be said to fit either hand.
If you insist that the palm of the glove be touching the palm of your hand when it's turned inside out, then it goes from right-handed to left.
The visualization I like to use is to imagine wearing a latex glove on your right hand and touching the tips of your fingers together on each hand (pinky to pinky, ring finger to ring finger, etc). Now imagine your friend grabbing the base of the glove and peeling it off of one hand and directly over to the other.
This is a very good way to actually explain it.
This is why people call you pathologically obsessed with being technically correct, my dude.
.... I never got messages on okcupid
. . .
I just said that it didn't rhyme in my accent. Not that it doesn't rhyme. I can hear how it rhymes when you say "one" with a different accent.
I mean he is technically correct
My old work gloves turned inside out fit no hand at all.
Yeah I tend to wear snug leather gloves, and they don't actually fit inside out, but the palm reverses, which is the essence of the question
Steam ID - VeldrinD
Southern US. When I say "one" it sounds like wun with a heavy emphasis on the u.
Okay. And why post that? Does it contribute anything to the thread or the poem itself or the discussion about the poem? It is just you popping in to say "well actually that one rhyme doesn't work in the way I personally speak English." That's about as much of a "well TECHNICALLY" post that you can ever possibly make.
Which like, fine, if you feel overwhelmingly compelled to point out every little technical inaccuracy or misstep in something you do you, but then don't get arsy with people when they point out that that's what you're doing.
After work I am meeting up with my girl to trim the nails of her one eyed chihuahua wiener dog mix.
I love that little dude.
Do you say Taiwan with more of a "waah" sound?
Steam ID - VeldrinD
edit: the goal is nice wholesome internet fun!
Yup.
I posted it because I thought it was interesting.
Yeah, most American accents would say it somewhere around TIE-wahn
What is "foon"
It's mostly eggs, evaporated milk, and sweetened condensed milk, but I like to add a jigger of rum and a health splash of cinnamon
edit: and sugar!
A magical land located on the other side of a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago!
it's what you get when you turn a spork inside out
Steam ID - VeldrinD
But what of these reports I've received about... hmm yes, a man from Nantucket?
Tried to rhyme, but gave up and said "fuck it"
close enough to be paired,
And his poem was finished under budget.
I thought it was interesting because it does rhyme, just not in my accent.
But how should I do that? Should I use a titsling, or a brassiere?