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[Bad News Gone Right]: The Return

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Posts

  • King RiptorKing Riptor regular Registered User regular
    So is he mad there were no dildos? Because it seems like nobody had to know about this at all.

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  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia regular Registered User regular
    edited August 17
    I don’t know his politics, but I have a hunch that he wanted to use this prank to cosplay to the media as his favorite character -“persecuted white male”

    Captain Inertia on
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  • BronzeKoopaBronzeKoopa regular Registered User regular
    I don’t know his politics, but I have a hunch that he wanted to use this prank to cosplay to the media as his favorite character -“persecuted white male”

    Read through the linked news article in the tweet:
    Despite the box appearing to be a joke, it was no laughing matter for Underhill.

    Underhill regularly comments in local Facebook groups and often takes a combative tone with people with whom he disagrees.

    As protests were erupting in Tallahassee following the 2018 school shooting in Parkland, Underhill took to Facebook and called the Parkland protesters "little monsters" and "miscreants" saying they were advocating for the removal of constitutional rights.

    That's all I need to know about this commissioner.

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  • CouscousCouscous regular Registered User regular
    Vultures have very good praxis.

    https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/17/us/florida-vultures-home-trnd/index.html
    Swarms of black vultures have taken over a Florida community
    (CNN)A family's home in a luxurious Florida community has become uninhabitable due to a swarm of vultures.
    In a video Casimano shared with WPBF, dozens of birds cover his backyard and screened-in pool area.

    "They ripped all the screens out," Casimano told WPBF. "They threw up. They pooped all over the place."

    He said he paid $3,000 to repair the damage, but the vultures returned a few days later.
    According to the US Fish and Wildlife Service, black vultures are federally protected migratory birds. A permit is required to legally "take" a black vulture. However, no permit is required to "disperse or discourage vultures from using areas where they may be a potential threat to livestock."

    The property owners association has security patrolling the area to scare away the vultures if they return.

    Casimano has had to get creative to try to keep his property vulture-free. He attached helium balloons to his screen, and he plays music all day long. However, his attempts have had mixed result.
    Eventually the vultures will learn to party.

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  • Steel AngelSteel Angel regular Registered User regular
    edited August 18
    Industrial strength dildoes.

    The phrase "industrial strength dildos" just raises so many questions.

    At what point does a dildo pass from consumer strength to industrial strength? Is it the size or the ductility of the material? And where does the prosumer dildo user fall into this? Or onto it as the case may be.

    It does remind me of some review pages on Amazon for power tools where some of the reviews were from people who had attached a dildo to it in order to use as a sex toy, some of the reviews were from people trying to review it for actual construction and DIY use and doing their best to pretend that others were not using their tool of choice as, well, a tool, and occasionally someone decided to have some fun and write a "review" that was ambiguous enough to fall into either category.

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    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

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  • HevachHevach regular Registered User regular
    edited August 18
    Industrial strength dildo:
    image_18604.jpg

    Fun fact: when I worked at Harbor Freight this was the most frequently vandalized display. The number of times I was stuck with a bottle of Goop trying to get a "Rectal Use Only" prescription label off...
    It's for smoothing concrete, but if you're brave enough...

    Hevach on
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  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion A fixed point in space and timeRegistered User regular
    Industrial strength dildoes.

    The phrase "industrial strength dildos" just raises so many questions.

    At what point does a dildo pass from consumer strength to industrial strength? Is it the size or the ductility of the material? And where does the prosumer dildo user fall into this? Or onto it as the case may be.

    It does remind me of some review pages on Amazon for power tools where some of the reviews were from people who had attached a dildo to it in order to use as a sex toy, some of the reviews were from people trying to review it for actual construction and DIY use and doing their best to pretend that others were not using their tool of choice as, well, a tool, and occasionally someone decided to have some fun and write a "review" that was ambiguous enough to fall into either category.

    Listen, sometimes you need to buy something that lasts. In today's throwaway consumer culture, 1-month dildoes are a dime-a-dozen. You want something that will go 20+ years without having to constantly buy a new one. You want that good industrial strength dildo with the American-made cast-iron ribbing, not that cheap plastic stuff that breaks down and has to be washed every time and then eventually gets dumped into the ocean where it destroys the environment. All that a cast-iron industrial-strength dildo needs between uses is a good wipe down and then a light layer of oil. Once you get a good layer of seasoning, it will last you a lifetime if taken care of properly.

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  • NobeardNobeard regular North Carolina: Failed StateRegistered User regular
    It's all fun and games until someone gets a box of dildoes:


    Escambia County Commissioner Doug Underhill is fuming after a box labeled “industrial strength dildos” arrived in the mail at his county office Thursday.

    Underhill showed the box to reporters following the County Commission meeting on Thursday, saying it demonstrated how far the level of civility has fallen in Escambia County.

    “There’s no way this is even remotely appropriate in the way that we conduct business here in Escambia County,” Underhill said while pointing to the box. “We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here. I’m a sailor, you’re not going to offend me with anything, but this kind of garbage, and this is the kind of garbage put out by the same kinds of people, the same lies, the same hate, the same anger that they bring to every single issue.”

    The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

    So there's a teensy bit more to the story. Apparently there is company called Savage Pranks that ships prank boxes with offensive labels but filled with nothing but packaging and a letter stating it is prank. It's not mentioned in the article but you can find it online. The box pictured in the article is the exact same one on that companies website. The prank boxes are supposed to be shipped anonymously but there was an email address on the packing slip that was somehow traced to it's owner.
    The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

    The email address belongs to a Perdido Key resident named Scott Anderson, who told the News Journal he had no idea about the box being sent to Underhill or how his email address ended up on the packing slip.

    "I'm totally stunned by all of this," Anderson said.

    I have no idea if he's being truthful or not.

    I'm not saying we are going to have an autocratic dystopia, but things keep happening that look like they come from an autocratic dystopia.
  • EchoEcho mod Moderator mod
    furlion wrote: »
    Just don't connect the stuff? I don't understand why you would bother hooking it up personally. Just ignore all of those features. Unless they force you to try and use them? I wouldn't know I am to poor for anything newer then last decade appliance wise.

    Don't you worry your pretty little head, Consumer-Citizen, soon Amazon and Google will just roll out nation-wide LoRa networks your devices will be hardwired to send data to, no personal internet connection required!

    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
  • ShadowfireShadowfire regular Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Echo wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Just don't connect the stuff? I don't understand why you would bother hooking it up personally. Just ignore all of those features. Unless they force you to try and use them? I wouldn't know I am to poor for anything newer then last decade appliance wise.

    Don't you worry your pretty little head, Consumer-Citizen, soon Amazon and Google will just roll out nation-wide LoRa networks your devices will be hardwired to send data to, no personal internet connection required!

    Good news. My house has plaster walls. The kind with chicken wire in it.

    My own little Faraday cage.

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  • Schmimpy Pim- no god what am I sayingSchmimpy Pim- no god what am I saying regular Registered User regular
    Unfortunately if you are unable to connect to the nation wide GooglAmazon LoRa network you will no longer be eligible for social benefits such as gainful employment, neutral recognition from police autonomous lethal patrol units, electricity, water

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  • HevachHevach regular Registered User regular
    edited August 18
    Am update on the NULL license plate:lawyers supposedly became involved Wednesday and by Friday morning every misapplied ticket vanished from CPC's database and they reported that it was merely mailing address confusion and the guy was never being pursued for tickets that weren't his, pinkie swear.

    Https://www.citationprocessingcenter.com/CitationSearch.aspx

    Hevach on
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  • EchoEcho mod Moderator mod
    neutral recognition from police autonomous lethal patrol units

    I've read too much scifi for this to be funny.

    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
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  • NyysjanNyysjan regular FinlandRegistered User regular
    Echo wrote: »
    neutral recognition from police autonomous lethal patrol units

    I've read too much scifi for this to be funny.
    I've read too much news to find it funny.
    And i bet someone is researching how to do just that.

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  • Schmimpy Pim- no god what am I sayingSchmimpy Pim- no god what am I saying regular Registered User regular
    Oh that wasn't a joke I get mail from the future and transcribe it to the forum occasionally

  • CalicaCalica regular Registered User regular
    Do people with crappy or no internet just... not get to buy new appliances then?
    Hevach wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Just don't connect the stuff? I don't understand why you would bother hooking it up personally. Just ignore all of those features. Unless they force you to try and use them? I wouldn't know I am to poor for anything newer then last decade appliance wise.

    A significant (and growing) portion run on Sim City 4 rules. For example, the Juicero no longer functions with the company behind it gone, even if you have leftover packets for it. Anyone with a Jibo are soon going to be the proud owners of $900 plastic bricks (or maybe this has already happened, it's been a while since I heard the status lights on them went dark and it started giving server shutdown warnings). And my aunt has a new Vorwerk blender that wouldn't turn on until the setup process (including wifi connection and setting up an account) was complete, which after three days of phone calls I had to just go over there myself and do for her.

    Same goes for the smart home company Google just bought, everything from the status board to the thermostat won't actually work until you connect it to a Google account and click Accept on like sixteen megabytes of raw text.
    Does your aunt's blender require a connection whenever it's in use, or only at setup?

    I still think having a home with programmable smart lighting would be really cool. The scenario I always pictured involved running my own server, though - no internet connection needed or wanted.

    At this rate I might have to write the software myself.

    Jedoc wrote: »
    The GOP cares about babies until they're born, soldiers until they're in need of care, and families until they interfere with stockholder dividends.
  • HevachHevach regular Registered User regular
    edited August 18
    Calica wrote: »
    Do people with crappy or no internet just... not get to buy new appliances then?
    Hevach wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Just don't connect the stuff? I don't understand why you would bother hooking it up personally. Just ignore all of those features. Unless they force you to try and use them? I wouldn't know I am to poor for anything newer then last decade appliance wise.

    A significant (and growing) portion run on Sim City 4 rules. For example, the Juicero no longer functions with the company behind it gone, even if you have leftover packets for it. Anyone with a Jibo are soon going to be the proud owners of $900 plastic bricks (or maybe this has already happened, it's been a while since I heard the status lights on them went dark and it started giving server shutdown warnings). And my aunt has a new Vorwerk blender that wouldn't turn on until the setup process (including wifi connection and setting up an account) was complete, which after three days of phone calls I had to just go over there myself and do for her.

    Same goes for the smart home company Google just bought, everything from the status board to the thermostat won't actually work until you connect it to a Google account and click Accept on like sixteen megabytes of raw text.
    Does your aunt's blender require a connection whenever it's in use, or only at setup?

    I still think having a home with programmable smart lighting would be really cool. The scenario I always pictured involved running my own server, though - no internet connection needed or wanted.

    At this rate I might have to write the software myself.

    I know she's been able to use it during internet outages, but that it's also locked her out and forced her to log back in at least twice for some reason or another. I suspect it's at least on the original Xbone idea where it has to regularly phone home and will fuck off if it misses the deadline, but I've never intentionally tried to see where that happens. If you change it's wifi settings you can't get back to the controls until it successfully connects and logs in, it won't let you just put some random stuff in to skip.

    It also locks out controls for updates, but has an option to disable automatic updates. It does not have the ability to disable automatic update CHECKING though, so if you disable automatic updates it will sit at the Update Ready screen until you let it update, and you can't get to the controls.


    Cheap appliances haven't gotten this treatment yet and honestly most cheap appliances aren't generally WORSE than the next price tier up, the next tier is just full of smart features.

    The worst thing about these damn things is that nothing readily works with anything else. Every brand has its own app (some brands have different apps for different appliances), and no brand makes everything. I'd fucking love to have Jarvis run my house, I'd even be ok with the Chinese government tracking how many eggs are in my fridge if that was how it was. But you don't get Jarvis. You get twenty-seven different guys and you have to turn each one off before you can talk to another one.

    Hevach on
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  • furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    That appliance stuff sounds like a nightmare. I wonder how hard it is to just rip out the wifi stuff built into all of this crap. Although I guess the software would probably freak out.

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  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    We aren't asking the most pertinent questions here.

    Can this blender run ZDoom?

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited August 19
    We aren't asking the most pertinent questions here.

    Will cacodemons blend?

    MichaelLC on
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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    Industrial strength dildoes.

    The phrase "industrial strength dildos" just raises so many questions.

    At what point does a dildo pass from consumer strength to industrial strength?
    When you go from battery power to 220v ac induction motor.

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia regular Registered User regular
    What’s the use case on that

  • MortiousMortious The Nightmare Begins Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited August 19
    What’s the use case on that

    Orgies

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  • HevachHevach regular Registered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    That appliance stuff sounds like a nightmare. I wonder how hard it is to just rip out the wifi stuff built into all of this crap. Although I guess the software would probably freak out.

    The usual problem is that control is through the screen and not analog controls, and it's common for the screen to boot into an unskippable setup procedure. Gut the wifi and if the thing doesn't break outright you can't complete the setup.

    The solution is just not to buy into the buzzwords. If you look at most appliance price tiers, there's almost always a less advertised non-smart tier functionally equal and cheaper below every smart device. So either go a step cheaper or go crazy expensive - the top tier appliances meant for restaurant kitchens and hotel laundry rooms and the like are almost never smart devices.

  • HappylilElfHappylilElf regular Registered User regular
    edited August 19
    Industrial strength dildoes.

    The phrase "industrial strength dildos" just raises so many questions.

    At what point does a dildo pass from consumer strength to industrial strength?
    When you go from battery power to 220v ac induction motor.

    I just googled "Top Secret dildo scene" and because I'm an idiot was surprised that the results were not, in fact, the scene from Top Secret. Found it though:

    HappylilElf on
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  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    Industrial strength dildoes.

    The phrase "industrial strength dildos" just raises so many questions.

    At what point does a dildo pass from consumer strength to industrial strength?
    When you go from battery power to 220v ac induction motor.

    I just googled "Top Secret dildo scene" and because I'm an idiot was surprised that the results were not, in fact, the scene from Top Secret. Found it though:


    The Anal Intruder truly was a marital aide marvel.

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  • discriderdiscrider regular Registered User regular
    edited August 19
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

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  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Then we'd already have issues with that with cargo ships and supertankers, seeing as their long-range guidance is almost entirely automated. Despite both of those kinds of ships being worth millions on their own plus the millions upon millions that their cargo is worth, nobody seems to want to bother with the effort of breaking into their systems to take them over. And getting a single cargo ship would net you a payoff a thousand times better than any piddly cargo truck, so this should already be happening if it was really all that easy.

    There's a huge difference between cheapass barely-functional systems slapped into some retail product and systems integrated into multi-billion cargo transport networks with a vested interest in not having their directions fucked with. Not to mention that fucking with companies on that scale is literally enough to get governments dropping special forces on your head, because they don't want their economy fucked with either.

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire regular Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    We aren't asking the most pertinent questions here.

    Will cacodemons blend?

    The chainsaw says yes.

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  • HevachHevach regular Registered User regular
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Then we'd already have issues with that with cargo ships and supertankers, seeing as their long-range guidance is almost entirely automated. Despite both of those kinds of ships being worth millions on their own plus the millions upon millions that their cargo is worth, nobody seems to want to bother with the effort of breaking into their systems to take them over. And getting a single cargo ship would net you a payoff a thousand times better than any piddly cargo truck, so this should already be happening if it was really all that easy.

    There's a huge difference between cheapass barely-functional systems slapped into some retail product and systems integrated into multi-billion cargo transport networks with a vested interest in not having their directions fucked with. Not to mention that fucking with companies on that scale is literally enough to get governments dropping special forces on your head, because they don't want their economy fucked with either.

    Stealing a cargo ship is a dog catching a car, what the fuck do you do once you have it? The manpower, facilities, and equipment to deal with it is immense.

    A semi is easy. Two guys can unload one in an afternoon or a small crew can manage it in a couple hours. You can fit the contents of one into a modest sized house's basement.

    Kristmas KthulhuAimFryNobearddurandal4532
  • ChiselphaneChiselphane regular Registered User regular
    .
    Echo wrote: »
    neutral recognition from police autonomous lethal patrol units

    I've read too much scifi for this to be funny.

    There was a sci-fi anthology tv show years ago that had an episode with a great take on this, its driven me mad for ages that I cant remember the name of it. The gist of it was omnipresent flying robots monitored human behavior and the punishment for something like flagrant selfishness was you had a mark temporarily burned onto your forehead for a year and you were supposed to be treated as invisible by society while you had it. There are several scenes that are almost haunting, some of the things he does during his sentence are not great but they feel authentic for what someone would do in that situation and it's stuck with me.

  • daveNYCdaveNYC Why universe hate Waspinator? Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Then we'd already have issues with that with cargo ships and supertankers, seeing as their long-range guidance is almost entirely automated. Despite both of those kinds of ships being worth millions on their own plus the millions upon millions that their cargo is worth, nobody seems to want to bother with the effort of breaking into their systems to take them over. And getting a single cargo ship would net you a payoff a thousand times better than any piddly cargo truck, so this should already be happening if it was really all that easy.

    There's a huge difference between cheapass barely-functional systems slapped into some retail product and systems integrated into multi-billion cargo transport networks with a vested interest in not having their directions fucked with. Not to mention that fucking with companies on that scale is literally enough to get governments dropping special forces on your head, because they don't want their economy fucked with either.

    Stealing a cargo ship is a dog catching a car, what the fuck do you do once you have it? The manpower, facilities, and equipment to deal with it is immense.

    A semi is easy. Two guys can unload one in an afternoon or a small crew can manage it in a couple hours. You can fit the contents of one into a modest sized house's basement.

    Plus grabbing a semi will get the attention of the cops, taking a cargo ship can end up with someone's navy coming after you.

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  • a5ehrena5ehren regular AtlantaRegistered User regular
    edited August 19
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Or you know, just sign your damn firmware. This is a solved problem that Internet of Shit companies are just ignoring because it would require like a day of effort to mitigate.

    a5ehren on
    destroyah87Bullhead
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia regular Registered User regular
    daveNYC wrote: »
    Hevach wrote: »
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Then we'd already have issues with that with cargo ships and supertankers, seeing as their long-range guidance is almost entirely automated. Despite both of those kinds of ships being worth millions on their own plus the millions upon millions that their cargo is worth, nobody seems to want to bother with the effort of breaking into their systems to take them over. And getting a single cargo ship would net you a payoff a thousand times better than any piddly cargo truck, so this should already be happening if it was really all that easy.

    There's a huge difference between cheapass barely-functional systems slapped into some retail product and systems integrated into multi-billion cargo transport networks with a vested interest in not having their directions fucked with. Not to mention that fucking with companies on that scale is literally enough to get governments dropping special forces on your head, because they don't want their economy fucked with either.

    Stealing a cargo ship is a dog catching a car, what the fuck do you do once you have it? The manpower, facilities, and equipment to deal with it is immense.

    A semi is easy. Two guys can unload one in an afternoon or a small crew can manage it in a couple hours. You can fit the contents of one into a modest sized house's basement.

    Plus grabbing a semi will get the attention of the cops, taking a cargo ship can end up with someone's navy coming after you.

    So you then dump a half-a-hold’s worth of boxes of Industrial Strength Dildos in the wake behind you in the hopes they live up to that claim and pose a solid barrier to protect you from said navy

    The rest of the dildos remain with you to be put in your booty on your secret pirate island

    Elvenshae
  • [Expletive deleted][Expletive deleted] The mediocre doctor NorwayRegistered User regular
    daveNYC wrote: »
    Hevach wrote: »
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Then we'd already have issues with that with cargo ships and supertankers, seeing as their long-range guidance is almost entirely automated. Despite both of those kinds of ships being worth millions on their own plus the millions upon millions that their cargo is worth, nobody seems to want to bother with the effort of breaking into their systems to take them over. And getting a single cargo ship would net you a payoff a thousand times better than any piddly cargo truck, so this should already be happening if it was really all that easy.

    There's a huge difference between cheapass barely-functional systems slapped into some retail product and systems integrated into multi-billion cargo transport networks with a vested interest in not having their directions fucked with. Not to mention that fucking with companies on that scale is literally enough to get governments dropping special forces on your head, because they don't want their economy fucked with either.

    Stealing a cargo ship is a dog catching a car, what the fuck do you do once you have it? The manpower, facilities, and equipment to deal with it is immense.

    A semi is easy. Two guys can unload one in an afternoon or a small crew can manage it in a couple hours. You can fit the contents of one into a modest sized house's basement.

    Plus grabbing a semi will get the attention of the cops, taking a cargo ship can end up with someone's navy coming after you.

    So you then dump a half-a-hold’s worth of boxes of Industrial Strength Dildos in the wake behind you in the hopes they live up to that claim and pose a solid barrier to protect you from said navy

    The rest of the dildos remain with you to be put in your booty on your secret pirate island

    You had me at secret pirate island. Where do I sign up?

    Sic transit gloria mundi.
  • chromdomchromdom Why do bad things keep happening to me? Oh yeah, because of the things I've done.Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    discrider wrote: »
    There was a guy who presented a hack at BSides 2019 who had managed to load malware onto a coffee machine that requested Bitcoin on the screen and constantly got the machine to spew hot water whilst grinding nothing constantly.
    This was through exploiting the API of the firmware so as to download a malicious payload instead of a legitimate firmware update.

    I fully expect automated vehicles to be hijacked in a similar manner.
    Just change the destination, lock out the controller, and then send the empty truck back for style points and hopefully more stuff.
    Or refuse to let the trucks refuel until the company pays you.

    Then we'd already have issues with that with cargo ships and supertankers, seeing as their long-range guidance is almost entirely automated. Despite both of those kinds of ships being worth millions on their own plus the millions upon millions that their cargo is worth, nobody seems to want to bother with the effort of breaking into their systems to take them over. And getting a single cargo ship would net you a payoff a thousand times better than any piddly cargo truck, so this should already be happening if it was really all that easy.

    There's a huge difference between cheapass barely-functional systems slapped into some retail product and systems integrated into multi-billion cargo transport networks with a vested interest in not having their directions fucked with. Not to mention that fucking with companies on that scale is literally enough to get governments dropping special forces on your head, because they don't want their economy fucked with either.

    Stealing a cargo ship is a dog catching a car, what the fuck do you do once you have it? The manpower, facilities, and equipment to deal with it is immense.

    A semi is easy. Two guys can unload one in an afternoon or a small crew can manage it in a couple hours. You can fit the contents of one into a modest sized house's basement.

    You crash it, and any other tankers you felt like grabbing -- oil tankers, for instance -- into the major ports of your enemy. Then instead of spending 12 people and several thousand dollars to take out ~3000 people and major buildings, you spend 0 people and maybe some money, depending on previous level of expertise, to completely stop all trade and wreck environmental ruin on your enemy for decades.
    It's a pretty major national security concern.

  • GoumindongGoumindong regular Registered User regular
    But that aint theft. The class of people who would do that and the class who would want the merch are not the same

    wbBv3fj.png
    Kristmas KthulhuElvenshae
  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion A fixed point in space and timeRegistered User regular
    Has anyone seen Chernobyl?

    Even if you assume that intentionally malicious actors are not a problem, I think there's a very real concern that you can have a confluence of events which result in a catastrophe. There are already well-documented cases of very simple, straightforward processes (in comparison to "the internet of things") which nearly resulted in a nuclear holocaust.

    Maybe we stop pretending that life is a well-understood, well-engineered problem and come to grips with the fact that there is a lot of shit that we just plain do not understand or is just out of our control, and the more complicated things are, the greater the risk that they will invariably blow up in your face.

    Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.
    NitsuaLabelZilla360
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie regular Registered User regular
    Finnish economist delivers report in Finnish manner - via rally car:

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
    NitsuaBlackDragon480FiendishrabbitNyysjanZilla360
  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular

    First they came for the Muslims and we said...NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKERS!
    ElvenshaeRMS Oceanic
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