Kids/Parenting: It’s fine, everything is fine.

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  • RickRudeRickRude Registered User regular
    So the other day my little girl had her first word, dada. It is the sweetest thing my ears have ever heard.

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    we did almost a full 6 weeks of no outside people go away contact when Ellie was born and that wasn't during a pandemic.

    And if you did want to come by, you had to have your vaccines up to date. Our exceptions were our friends that also had a newborn.

    Is one side of the family Chinese? We know a fair few people with Chinese ancestry and lots of them do the traditional extended post birth isolation period.

    Not many go far enough to shave their babies though.

    Taiwanese, yes. But that side of the family had no say.

    This was basically the recommended health thing from the midwives and everybody. Keep the baby home as much as you can for the first six weeks and anybody that comes closer must be vaccinated. Specifically the pertussis vaccine.


    Keep in mind that I also had a year maternity leave with sixteen weeks paid from the govt. So it's a bit different here.

    Wow, with our first, we had at least 12 family members through while we were still in the hospital post birth. And went to a gathering (outside) with 30+ people the first week or two we were home.

    :so_raven:
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I think other than my mom, who was with us the whole time, and the friends who stopped by on the day we came home, we saw nobody other than the midwife.

  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    We limited visits and people in general till she got her first shots

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    I think we had our immediate families by at various time that first week, and then pretty much nothing for almost a month after that, just trying to figure things out.

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  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    edited September 14
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    we did almost a full 6 weeks of no outside people go away contact when Ellie was born and that wasn't during a pandemic.

    And if you did want to come by, you had to have your vaccines up to date. Our exceptions were our friends that also had a newborn.

    Is one side of the family Chinese? We know a fair few people with Chinese ancestry and lots of them do the traditional extended post birth isolation period.

    Not many go far enough to shave their babies though.

    Taiwanese, yes. But that side of the family had no say.

    This was basically the recommended health thing from the midwives and everybody. Keep the baby home as much as you can for the first six weeks and anybody that comes closer must be vaccinated. Specifically the pertussis vaccine.


    Keep in mind that I also had a year maternity leave with sixteen weeks paid from the govt. So it's a bit different here.
    It's super interesting how advice varies so massively by country. Somebody, possibly in the other thread, was talking about German advice heavily pushing cosleeping while here the NHS tell you that cosleeping will instantly kill any and all babies (and the charity that runs the antenatal classes most people do has a bit more of a nuanced discussion of avoiding it if you can).

    Maternity pay is heavily variable here (the government pays you 90% of your salary* for 9 months or so) so it all comes from company benefits. I think most people take 9-12 months but that's anecdotal

    *Capped at some hilariously low amount so it's like £150 a week or some nosense

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    We did co-sleeping with both ours for maybe the first 3 months or so. The big asterisk is that the kids slept on my left arm with me holding them in place. I'm a super light sleeper and have a knack for not rolling onto people/animals when I sleep. The wife on the other hand sleeps like a rock and surely would have crushed our kids. :biggrin:

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    We still have Ellie in our bed on weekends.
    We started cosleeping when she was sick at 18 months old and we were paranoid about her breathing. And even with that, we got more sleep in that night than before and once we got proof of what a full night's sleep was, there was no going back.

    She's 4.5 now and her bed is in our room, but she's in her bed for work nights and is doing well staying there until morning.


    Whatever keeps you sane and everybody alive

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  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Here the midwife and others told us just to keep people away from the hospital, but more of stress level thing especially for the mother right after the birth, and then basically go out as much with the baby as you like and feel comfortable. Meanwhile from the greek side of the family we know that there the puerperium is basically quarantine with child and mother staying inside doing nothing while everything they might get in contact with gets cooked, double ironed on high heat, sterilised, etc. Similar the differing opinions on washing the baby after the birth and in the first week.

  • CauldCauld Registered User regular
    We didn't really limit visitors with our kids, but my wife did limit taking the 1st one outside. She's Chinese so wanted to do the whole stay inside thing. At some point we decided it would be good to take him outside so did a quick walk around the block. He liked it and calmed down, so we haven't looked back and were much less cautious with the 2nd one

    Elvenshae
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    We did the crib-side car thing as an alternative to having the baby actually in our bed.

    :so_raven:
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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    My wife is Chinese, although she is full American in attitude and personality. Her mom told her that it’s Chinese tradition that after giving birth, she needs to stay in bed for a month and eat a dozen eggs a day.

    The wife thought that was insane. Her mom dig in and doubled down on it. A lot of yelling and screaming followed before her mom gave in.

    It took almost a year, but her mom finally started to listen to us and understand that we weren’t going to be following any of her outlandish advice. Things have been much better now that her mom accepts that we don’t need her to be a full-time babysitter and just help us out from time to time.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    We had no visitors for like the first six months, but I did stop some of the kids screaming by taking her outside. Unsure if it was like a predator response or something, but the second I stepped completely outside she stopped crying.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    Cauld
  • AimAim Registered User regular
    We used something like this then placed a crib by our bed side.
    It's not perfect, but the bassinet has a frame that shields the baby a bit - and it turned out to be practical for travelling, since until they start crawling it can be used like a mini crib, but is a lot more portable.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    We had a rock n play or something, that Sapling slept in for the first 3 or 4 months I think. Nowdays I believe the product has been recalled, but she had such bad reflux that having something that kept her slightly upright was really helpful. And then when the cranial facial doctors gave us a foam wedge, we had her sleep in a pack n play in our bedroom until after she had her cleft palate surgery and we felt comfortable sleep training her.

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  • CauldCauld Registered User regular
    We tried a pack and play type thing, but it didn't work for us. We do have a crib beside the bed that we've used with both kids. A lot of the advise that's given to new parents is framed too harshly imo. For example, we had it drilled into us how terrible co-sleeping is but when you look at the actual statistics we're talking a very small (but significant) difference in safety. Like a lot of things I think that needs to be balanced with the rest of life. For us, cosleeping resulted in everyone sleeping a lot better, so it is/was worth the added risk.

  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    I won't pretend that cosleeping is safer than not. But it was the only way I got any sleep.

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  • GorkGork Registered User regular
    We bought a Snoo. I’m pretty sure we would have been miserable without it. I have no idea how anyone gets sleep without one.

    Hell, I wish they made models that went all the way up to the age of eighteen.

  • PhistiPhisti Registered User regular
    We co-slept with each of our kids for 9mos to a year. Then got them into a pack-n-play next to the bed, then to a crib in their own room... slow and steady progression. Our youngest ends up in bed with us from time to time but for the most part they sleep independently.

    In other news, out youngest, now 3, is in line for her second covid test in 2 weeks for having a rash, then a runny nose and is barred from daycare until a negative test. So much for getting work done.

    Would be nice to have grandparents who were able to follow instructions and be able to help out.

  • TaramoorTaramoor Storyteller Registered User regular
    Before it's removed from the internet forever:

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Taramoor wrote: »
    Before it's removed from the internet forever:


    Daaaaaww!

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Nooooo

    I can't see the cuteness! Waaaah

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    3-year-old daughter had her first existential crisis last night (we recorded part of it, for posterity ;) )

    For some reason "dying" came up and so it was briefly explained to her and then she started freaking out. Welcome to the club, kid, welcome to the club... Just wait till we get to climate change weeeeeee

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    3-year-old daughter had her first existential crisis last night (we recorded part of it, for posterity ;) )

    For some reason "dying" came up and so it was briefly explained to her and then she started freaking out. Welcome to the club, kid, welcome to the club... Just wait till we get to climate change weeeeeee

    We had that problem too. This video really helped:

    Echo wrote: »
    Something working on the first try is a source of great suspicion.
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Yo what the fuck that video's freaking me out, how would it help with kids exactly?

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  • RickRudeRickRude Registered User regular
    Co sleeping.

    I did everything I could to not co sleep during the first 4 months or so. But the baby would wake up, my gf would breast feed, and often fall asleep. I'd be awake or wake up and put her in her crib, but she co habbed with us much more than I'd like.

    We got a pack and play to take care of her from 6 months on, but at about 5 or 6 months or so, we just started sleeping with her.

    She's 11 months now, always has hated naps and hates going to sleep, but still co sleeping. Think it works but we don't get much sleep with her waking up in the middle of the night and morning. She stays up until like 11 or so then wakes up at 6.

    Guess that's just the parent life.

    Not sure if what we're doing is correct or will bite us in the ass later, but it's working for us. And honestly ? I love sleeping next to my baby girl. My gf tells me all the time about how in my sleep and her sleep she'll move towards me, and I'll just cradle her in my arms while I'm asleep.

    I just love every minute with my baby girl and omg in one month she's one year. Time flies once you have a kid.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    This week broke me today. Oldest had a cold (cough, sore throat, etc) and the daycare banned both kids until I got her medically cleared. Had to go back and forth between the doc and the preschool, because they have this weird battle over the wording of the documentation required. Like, I get it, but flu season hasn't even begun and the chucklefucks across this country have ensured that COVID ain't going anywhere for a long time, so my kids being out of school seems quite plausible in the future.

    I finally had to be the middle-man and get both sides to understand that this shit isn't going to fly and they need to find a common middleground to expediate returns for kids that see the doc and are cleared. Pile on top of that my computer dying again, and me falling way behind on my voice work, and I just couldn't anymore today. After the kids were dropped off and the wife left for work, I just sat on the coach and cried a bit. I'm not ashamed or anything, I just reached a limited after staying strong for the past several months.

    Anyway, just thought I'd rely the story in case anyone else thinks they're the only one dealing with shit and can't show emotions or anything. Be strong everyone.

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  • AimAim Registered User regular
  • Jebus314Jebus314 Registered User regular
    Yeah the Covid/testing/daycare situation is just a complete shit show for us. I want to do the right thing and limit spread, but my wife and I both work, which we can’t do without daycare.

    Our kid gets sick like every other fucking week (at least it seems that way right now). Which already makes me question if daycare is worth it, but add in to that we now have a minimum of 2-3 days that one of us has to take off every time (waiting for covid test results). Which is only true if we sit with a 1 yr old, in a car, for 3 fucking hours waiting to get drive up tested. Or we can try and use urgent care, and results will take even longer, making it likely we miss a whole week.

    Plus every time we ask the school they make it seem like we are the only ones constantly out, and I fucking know other kids are getting fevers because our kid got sick from somewhere.

    Just so frustrating.

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    So, I don't know what the roll out of this will be, but parents might be interested that here in BC they've developed a new covid test for kids that is based on a mouth rinse/gargle.

    https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/covid-19-rinse-and-spit-test-school-aged-children-bc-1.5728927

    :so_raven:
    kime
  • HappylilElfHappylilElf Registered User regular
    Director of the daycare that my roommates' daughter goes to is about to be arrested for embezzlement.

    Apparently he was altering checks and just depositing them into his personal account. The only reason they haven't arrested him yet is that they don't know how much he actually stole but apparently it's over 10k and rising so I'm pretty sure that's already past the you-actually-go-to-prison-for-awhile-asshole level.

    Elvenshae
  • RickRudeRickRude Registered User regular
    Director of the daycare that my roommates' daughter goes to is about to be arrested for embezzlement.

    Apparently he was altering checks and just depositing them into his personal account. The only reason they haven't arrested him yet is that they don't know how much he actually stole but apparently it's over 10k and rising so I'm pretty sure that's already past the you-actually-go-to-prison-for-awhile-asshole level.

    Time to go and start up a day care business.

    MNC DoverElvenshae
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ecco is currently trying to explain the "I'm a frayed knot" joke to ellie.

    She keeps asking Why.

    this is far funnier than the actual joke itself

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  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Jebus314 wrote: »
    Yeah the Covid/testing/daycare situation is just a complete shit show for us. I want to do the right thing and limit spread, but my wife and I both work, which we can’t do without daycare.

    Our kid gets sick like every other fucking week (at least it seems that way right now). Which already makes me question if daycare is worth it, but add in to that we now have a minimum of 2-3 days that one of us has to take off every time (waiting for covid test results). Which is only true if we sit with a 1 yr old, in a car, for 3 fucking hours waiting to get drive up tested. Or we can try and use urgent care, and results will take even longer, making it likely we miss a whole week.

    Plus every time we ask the school they make it seem like we are the only ones constantly out, and I fucking know other kids are getting fevers because our kid got sick from somewhere.

    Just so frustrating.

    This is where my family is at.

    My son develops some sort of bug or virus every week he goes to nursery.

    Negative covid test last Monday and went in to nursery for the first time that week on Thursday. Nursery said they took his temp in the afternoon and it was just within fever range so they ring us and say he's banned for two weeks or until he gets another negative test.

    Thing is that his temp was completely normal an hour later and he hasn't been hot since.

    Wouldn't be so bad if we could actually get a test. Haven't been able to get one despite three days of trying.

    Jebus314
  • PhistiPhisti Registered User regular
    We are now at 5 days in daycare, 7 days out since the start of September. Glad it's not like parents need to work or anything.

    The state of testing is already such that without some realistic risk analysis at the public health level this is only going to get worse. Cold and flu season / requirement to stay indoors through the winter is going to overwhelm our ability to test really fast.

    But my real concern is parents dosing kids to send them to daycare or school since most are probably a week away from not having any more time to take off. Then you get actually sick kids in the system and shit gets bad, quickly.

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    9t2iseyktcjv.jpeg

    That’s my girl! Of course, she’ll be terrible at The Price is Right.

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    She's not wrong. If 100 can do it, then 1,000,000,000 will, as well!

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  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist screaming Registered User regular
    Go big or go home

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  • RickRudeRickRude Registered User regular
    If we do opposite price is right rules, if you're under you're out, she has the best chance to win! Plus all those zeros look cool and intimidate lesser numbers.

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  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    Definitely a better answer than question mark kid, that's for sure.

    MNC DoverRickRudekime
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