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Penny Arcade - Comic - Wicked, Evil, And Cruel

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited July 2019 in The Penny Arcade Hub

imagePenny Arcade - Comic - Wicked, Evil, And Cruel

Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.

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    PohtHehdPohtHehd Registered User regular
    Slice of life only works when your life is something people can relate to in a fundamental way.

    It's like this comic is saying "Man, sure is hard to deal with so much success and fortune, am I right?" and I just gotta stare blankly. I mean, maybe other rich successful people would understand this joke. I don't get it though. Those things would not be burdens to me, I work to get to the point where I could be like that.

    The joke falls flat for me and I'd have to say this is easily the worst Penny Arcade strip in some many years. Glad you guys sold more merchandise though, I guess. Nice job.

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    VladimerVladimer Registered User regular
    Person makes thing, goes to do "nice" thing by signing copies of Thing randomly and fate's cruel whims turns it into a gigantic misunderstanding. I get you have some kind of deep-seated regret to improperly target today but the joke reads just fine

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    PeriSoftPeriSoft Registered User regular
    400px-Ruinedbookskyrim.jpg

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    rcattrcatt Registered User regular
    I constantly read tweets from Neil Gaiman about him Ninja-signing his books at various airports. I always wondered what would happen if one of the employees didn't recognize him. Sad to hear it happened to Mike.

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    YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    Reading this made me wonder if Harlan Ellison had risen from the dead in a rage at the idea Mike worked on a book.
    If you aren't up on their interaction with Mr. Ellison, harken back to this archive from 2005.

    YoungFrey on
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    Golden YakGolden Yak Burnished Bovine The sunny beaches of CanadaRegistered User regular
    Hold it, did this actually happen for real, or is this just a hilarious scenario they imagined regarding signing books in stores?

    Also, bookstore owner = future Tycho, displaced in time?

    H9f4bVe.png
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    VladimerVladimer Registered User regular
    Golden Yak wrote: »
    Hold it, did this actually happen for real, or is this just a hilarious scenario they imagined regarding signing books in stores?

    Also, bookstore owner = future Tycho, displaced in time?

    I see it in the eyes....he just needs a watch

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    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Pretty sure barnes and noble would just be happy someone was in the store, you could probably pee on the books and be good.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
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    IzandaiIzandai Registered User new member
    PohtHehd wrote: »
    Slice of life only works when your life is something people can relate to in a fundamental way.

    It's like this comic is saying "Man, sure is hard to deal with so much success and fortune, am I right?" and I just gotta stare blankly. I mean, maybe other rich successful people would understand this joke. I don't get it though. Those things would not be burdens to me, I work to get to the point where I could be like that.

    The joke falls flat for me and I'd have to say this is easily the worst Penny Arcade strip in some many years. Glad you guys sold more merchandise though, I guess. Nice job.

    In order for a humorous scenario to be humorous, the audience has to understand the scenario, not necessarily relate to it. I have also never written a popular book, and thus haven't tried to stealth-sign copies on store shelves (though I would absolutely do that every chance I could if I had), but I understand the humor of trying to do that and getting mistaken for some vandal. It's a simple "mistaken identity" joke. Not that hard to grasp.

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    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Izandai wrote: »
    PohtHehd wrote: »
    Slice of life only works when your life is something people can relate to in a fundamental way.

    It's like this comic is saying "Man, sure is hard to deal with so much success and fortune, am I right?" and I just gotta stare blankly. I mean, maybe other rich successful people would understand this joke. I don't get it though. Those things would not be burdens to me, I work to get to the point where I could be like that.

    The joke falls flat for me and I'd have to say this is easily the worst Penny Arcade strip in some many years. Glad you guys sold more merchandise though, I guess. Nice job.

    In order for a humorous scenario to be humorous, the audience has to understand the scenario, not necessarily relate to it. I have also never written a popular book, and thus haven't tried to stealth-sign copies on store shelves (though I would absolutely do that every chance I could if I had), but I understand the humor of trying to do that and getting mistaken for some vandal. It's a simple "mistaken identity" joke. Not that hard to grasp.

    Well based on user name I'm going to guess there's a lot they don't understand.

    Like not fucking up the rotation.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
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    MercadeMercade Registered User regular
    PohtHehd wrote: »
    Slice of life only works when your life is something people can relate to in a fundamental way.

    It's like this comic is saying "Man, sure is hard to deal with so much success and fortune, am I right?" and I just gotta stare blankly. I mean, maybe other rich successful people would understand this joke. I don't get it though. Those things would not be burdens to me, I work to get to the point where I could be like that.

    The joke falls flat for me and I'd have to say this is easily the worst Penny Arcade strip in some many years. Glad you guys sold more merchandise though, I guess. Nice job.

    You sound like a blast at parties.

    Switch: SW-1909-0466-9585
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    MarcinMNMarcinMN Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    Ah, are we interpreting this as stealth signing? I initially imagined Gabe sitting there adding cool new art that he just dreamed up to each book.

    EDIT: The newspost has confirmed that stealth signing was the inspiration. I still think my interpretation is equally funny. ;)

    MarcinMN on
    "It's just as I've always said. We are being digested by an amoral universe."

    -Tycho Brahe
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    KagatoACKagatoAC Registered User regular
    At least you can go to a Barnes and Noble, They closed the only location within 90 miles of me :(

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    Midnightjade01Midnightjade01 Registered User new member
    I picked up Acq Inc D&D at the B&N on 86th and Lex here in NYC today. I have been playing and DMing D&D since about 1981, and have been running a game for my kids in 5th Ed for maybe 2-3 years. The book spoke to me - looks like a homebrew based on the official 5th Ed books but then takes them somewhere else. Very impressed. Good campaign design, good imagination, very interesting structure. I will be using some of these ideas in my own homebrew. A little disappointed that the authors didn't use more of the Storm King's Thunder in their campaign - especially Grudde Hauge. But that would have been the icing on the cake.

    Also, now haz stats for a deep crow which will definitely be used at some point... :)

    Overall, great job!

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    MarcinMNMarcinMN Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    Preacher wrote: »
    Pretty sure barnes and noble would just be happy someone was in the store, you could probably pee on the books and be good.

    I'm old so I will usually check Barnes & Noble first if I want a book. But I live within 10 miles of at least three of them. If I can't find what I want there, then I will resort to buying online.

    But even when I'm not looking for a specific book, I still enjoy strolling through B&N when I get the chance.

    MarcinMN on
    "It's just as I've always said. We are being digested by an amoral universe."

    -Tycho Brahe
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    TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    PohtHehd wrote: »
    The joke falls flat for me and I'd have to say this is easily the worst Penny Arcade strip in some many years. Glad you guys sold more merchandise though, I guess. Nice job.
    The joke is that they didn't sell more merchandise. Gabe had to buy it all himself.

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    EmperorSethEmperorSeth Registered User regular
    YoungFrey wrote: »
    Reading this made me wonder if Harlan Ellison had risen from the dead in a rage at the idea Mike worked on a book.
    If you aren't up on their interaction with Mr. Ellison, harken back to this archive from 2005.

    Shit, I forgot he died. :(

    You know what? Nanowrimo's cancelled on account of the world is stupid.
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    tastydonutstastydonuts Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Pretty sure barnes and noble would just be happy someone was in the store, you could probably pee on the books and be good.

    IDK, I imagine that Barnes and Noble is still full of people that just stand around and read the books yet never actually buy the books. Especially the manga/graphic novel section. People being in the store was never really the problem, at least from the B&N that I used to go to.

    “I used to draw, hard to admit that I used to draw...”
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    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Pretty sure barnes and noble would just be happy someone was in the store, you could probably pee on the books and be good.

    IDK, I imagine that Barnes and Noble is still full of people that just stand around and read the books yet never actually buy the books. Especially the manga/graphic novel section. People being in the store was never really the problem, at least from the B&N that I used to go to.

    Yeah, all the ones I've been in are always busy, but with no checkout line. Basically a library with a mediocre coffee bar in the middle.

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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    Hey Penny Arcade crew: about that “book” ... which I purchased at a Barnes and Noble even (there are three copies left by the way). Lovin the whole book except for one possible typo which is keeping me awake at night. Page 8, Fast Franchise Generator, table number one “Franchise Logos or Livery.” Item one says “The words ‘Green Flan’ in Elvish.” WTF is a Flan ? I expected “Green Flame” in Elvish. Is this an Elvish word (or possibly even Spanish ?) In English, Flan is a desert ! Food. Did you possibly mean “Green Phlegm?” I mean, that’s cool. Green Flame would be coolest. Flan? No. Help please ...

    CoolRockSkii on
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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    z4q8tj6aw6lv.jpeg

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    NightslyrNightslyr Registered User regular
    Neither Mike nor Jerry read the forums, so... *shrug*

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    VladimerVladimer Registered User regular
    Also...couldn't definition 2 be thematically appropriate?

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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    @Vladimer yes it could; or even definition 1. Just seems like a typo.

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    VladimerVladimer Registered User regular
    I get ya. From another perspective: I've been listening to Jerryisms for a pretty long time and it absolutely would not shock me if he used a less-known definition of a common word

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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Hey Penny Arcade crew: about that “book” ... which I purchased at a Barnes and Noble even (there are three copies left by the way). Lovin the whole book except for one possible typo which is keeping me awake at night. Page 8, Fast Franchise Generator, table number one “Franchise Logos or Livery.” Item one says “The words ‘Green Flan’ in Elvish.” WTF is a Flan ? I expected “Green Flame” in Elvish. Is this an Elvish word (or possibly even Spanish ?) In English, Flan is a desert ! Food. Did you possibly mean “Green Phlegm?” I mean, that’s cool. Green Flame would be coolest. Flan? No. Help please ...

    If you're generating a franchise you'd be a franchise known for their green flans.

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited July 2019
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmMTvscRBkw
    Try Flantasy Flan....Flantasy Flan...

    MichaelLC on
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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    Quid wrote: »
    If you're generating a franchise you'd be a franchise known for their green flans.

    Well that’s certainly a viable side gig as part of the franchise- bakeries known for making “only the world’s best Flan” in various flavors of course- baked in shapes like Carvel (tm) ice cream cakes. Each Flan shoots forth an illusion of a Green Flame at the first slice...
    Taking orders now! Get yours today.
    Cool.
    (Delivered by Raven at extra cost...local taxes may apply. Not liable for damages).

    CoolRockSkii on
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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    Quid wrote: »
    Hey Penny Arcade crew: about that “book” ... which I purchased at a Barnes and Noble even (there are three copies left by the way). Lovin the whole book except for one possible typo which is keeping me awake at night. Page 8, Fast Franchise Generator, table number one “Franchise Logos or Livery.” Item one says “The words ‘Green Flan’ in Elvish.” WTF is a Flan ? I expected “Green Flame” in Elvish. Is this an Elvish word (or possibly even Spanish ?) In English, Flan is a desert ! Food. Did you possibly mean “Green Phlegm?” I mean, that’s cool. Green Flame would be coolest. Flan? No. Help please ...

    If you're generating a franchise you'd be a franchise known for their green flans.

    Don't you mean a "flanchise?"

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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    Pretty sure Jim Darkmagic receives a royalty fee for each Green Flame illusion baked into each Flan — wait; are flans baked or fried?

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    Hey Penny Arcade crew: about that “book” ... which I purchased at a Barnes and Noble even (there are three copies left by the way). Lovin the whole book except for one possible typo which is keeping me awake at night. Page 8, Fast Franchise Generator, table number one “Franchise Logos or Livery.” Item one says “The words ‘Green Flan’ in Elvish.” WTF is a Flan ? I expected “Green Flame” in Elvish. Is this an Elvish word (or possibly even Spanish ?) In English, Flan is a desert ! Food. Did you possibly mean “Green Phlegm?” I mean, that’s cool. Green Flame would be coolest. Flan? No. Help please ...

    If you're generating a franchise you'd be a franchise known for their green flans.

    Don't you mean a "flanchise?"

    O'Flaherty's Flan Flanchise.

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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    @MichaelLC only if each <marketing> custom made, hand-crafted box (assembled en masse 24/7 by cheap unpaid Verdan “little helpers”) of Flan is stamped with the winking, Jim Darkmagic (tm), all rights reserved logo!
    [Sold out of the back of unlicensed gypsy-esque wagons or delivered with a very exclusive $$$ special handling fee by a Raven (extra cost accrued per mile)]

    CoolRockSkii on
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    BursarBursar Hee Noooo! PDX areaRegistered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    Hey Penny Arcade crew: about that “book” ... which I purchased at a Barnes and Noble even (there are three copies left by the way). Lovin the whole book except for one possible typo which is keeping me awake at night. Page 8, Fast Franchise Generator, table number one “Franchise Logos or Livery.” Item one says “The words ‘Green Flan’ in Elvish.” WTF is a Flan ? I expected “Green Flame” in Elvish. Is this an Elvish word (or possibly even Spanish ?) In English, Flan is a desert ! Food. Did you possibly mean “Green Phlegm?” I mean, that’s cool. Green Flame would be coolest. Flan? No. Help please ...

    If you're generating a franchise you'd be a franchise known for their green flans.

    Don't you mean a "flanchise?"

    Look, if you're trying to start a whole restaurant chain before you figure out the menu, you're puddin' the cart before the horse.

    GNU Terry Pratchett
    PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
    Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
    Spoilered until images are unborked. egc6gp2emz1v.png
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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    Bursar wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    Hey Penny Arcade crew: about that “book” ... which I purchased at a Barnes and Noble even (there are three copies left by the way). Lovin the whole book except for one possible typo which is keeping me awake at night. Page 8, Fast Franchise Generator, table number one “Franchise Logos or Livery.” Item one says “The words ‘Green Flan’ in Elvish.” WTF is a Flan ? I expected “Green Flame” in Elvish. Is this an Elvish word (or possibly even Spanish ?) In English, Flan is a desert ! Food. Did you possibly mean “Green Phlegm?” I mean, that’s cool. Green Flame would be coolest. Flan? No. Help please ...

    If you're generating a franchise you'd be a franchise known for their green flans.

    Don't you mean a "flanchise?"

    Look, if you're trying to start a whole restaurant chain before you figure out the menu, you're puddin' the cart before the horse.

    I already had to fire my head chef because he couldn't cut the custard.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    I just assumed that it was a joke

    If I generated a franchise with that livery, it wouldn't have anybody who spoke Elvish, but their secretarian thought that an Elvish motto would be fancy and misread the dictionary entry for 'flame'

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    ShowsniShowsni Registered User regular
    Given black puddings, grey oozes, ochre jellies and gelatinous cubes are all D&D monsters, I could see a Green Flan being something similar...

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    EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Green Flans absorb Poison but are weak to Water magic.

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    PohtHehdPohtHehd Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Izandai wrote: »
    PohtHehd wrote: »
    Slice of life only works when your life is something people can relate to in a fundamental way.

    It's like this comic is saying "Man, sure is hard to deal with so much success and fortune, am I right?" and I just gotta stare blankly. I mean, maybe other rich successful people would understand this joke. I don't get it though. Those things would not be burdens to me, I work to get to the point where I could be like that.

    The joke falls flat for me and I'd have to say this is easily the worst Penny Arcade strip in some many years. Glad you guys sold more merchandise though, I guess. Nice job.

    In order for a humorous scenario to be humorous, the audience has to understand the scenario, not necessarily relate to it. I have also never written a popular book, and thus haven't tried to stealth-sign copies on store shelves (though I would absolutely do that every chance I could if I had), but I understand the humor of trying to do that and getting mistaken for some vandal. It's a simple "mistaken identity" joke. Not that hard to grasp.

    Well based on user name I'm going to guess there's a lot they don't understand.

    Like not fucking up the rotation.

    I didn't say it was hard to understand, you simple neophytes. I said it's not funny to me.

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    CoolRockSkiiCoolRockSkii Registered User regular
    edited July 2019
    I, as the DM, made the hard sell pitch to my existing group of 2nd level PCs today via an in-game approach by none other than Jim Darkmagic (using the JD NPC stats) himself while the PCs were in a tight spot in the story. Four of the five party members signed the franchise contract in glowing green ink from a free pen from Jim. The Paladin declined to join the franchise due to a higher moral calling. This raised two questions:
    1) Is an Acquisitions Incorporated Franchise contract binding for life?
    2) Do non AI franchise party members have to pay rent to use franchise assets?
    Lastly, here is the PC-created franchise logo/flag/business HQ sign ( spider graphic and AI graphic not my creation, no rights infringements intended, for personal use only ):
    5b1bhq3tugr9.jpeg
    The PCs chose a former blacksmith shop as their starter HQ. Their new AI franchise establishment sits in the seedy merchant quarter of a small city, squeezed between a Flan bakery and a butcher shop specializing in meat from pig-sized cockroaches.

    CoolRockSkii on
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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    I, as the DM, made the hard sell pitch to my existing group of 2nd level PCs today via an in-game approach by none other than Jim Darkmagic (using the JD NPC stats) himself while the PCs were in a tight spot in the story. Four of the five party members signed the franchise contract in glowing green ink from a free pen from Jim. The Paladin declined to join the franchise due to a higher moral calling. This raised two questions:
    1) Is an Acquisitions Incorporated Franchise contract binding for life?
    2) Do non AI franchise party members have to pay rent to use franchise assets?
    Lastly, here is the PC-created franchise logo/flag/business HQ sign:
    5b1bhq3tugr9.jpeg
    The PCs chose a former blacksmith shop as their starter HQ. Their new AI franchise establishment sits in the seedy merchant quarter of a small city, squeezed between a Flan bakery and a butcher shop specializing in meat from pig-sized cockroaches.

    Awesome! But, and I cannot stress enough how important this is, what color are the flans?

    steam_sig.png
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