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Penny Arcade - Comic - Time-Release Capsules

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited August 28 in The Penny Arcade Hub

imagePenny Arcade - Comic - Time-Release Capsules

Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.

Read the full story here


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Posts

  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    edited August 28
    That's some fantastic work in the last panel.

    Also, Totinos pizza rolls not only explode later in life, they generally immediately explode in your mouth. With flavor. And 2nd degree burns.

    dennis on
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  • John MatrixJohn Matrix Registered User regular
    edited August 28
    That last panel is so well drawn.

    John Matrix on
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  • T-DangerT-Danger Registered User regular
    We in the UK have never gotten pizza rolls, Totino's or otherwise. Are they actually any good?

  • John MatrixJohn Matrix Registered User regular
    Not really.

    DemonStaceyDarkewolfeMichaelLCTofystedethH3Knuckles
  • BlitzAce1981BlitzAce1981 Registered User regular
    T-Danger wrote: »
    We in the UK have never gotten pizza rolls, Totino's or otherwise. Are they actually any good?

    Actually, we did get something like it - McCain sold Pizza Rolla back in the 90s. Best way to describe them is a roll with the dough inside scooped out and replaced with molten hot magma masquerading as margherita pizza topping. They were alright, once the pain of every taste bud being incinerated faded.

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  • downtreaderdowntreader Registered User new member
    i kind of desperately want a shirt that reads:

    "But my children are drawn to danger. They shun the light.

    I may have erred, here."

    perhaps with a pizza roll filled with all sorts of danger -- knives, questionable web links, dark elder gods, etc.

    Zilla360H3KnucklesKoopahTroopah
  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    I am not much given to piety these days, but I could be tempted by a savory enough Lord.

    And now I feel that this line from the news post is the literary equivalent to the quality of the last panel.

    Kayne Red RobeZilla360H3KnucklesKoopahTroopahE.Coyote
  • KalTorakKalTorak Way up inside your butthole, Morty. WAAAAY up inside there.Registered User regular
    Totinos are essential for personal growth

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  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    T-Danger wrote: »
    We in the UK have never gotten pizza rolls, Totino's or otherwise. Are they actually any good?

    Actually, we did get something like it - McCain sold Pizza Rolla back in the 90s. Best way to describe them is a roll with the dough inside scooped out and replaced with molten hot magma masquerading as margherita pizza topping. They were alright, once the pain of every taste bud being incinerated faded.

    That’s the fun!

  • ThawmusThawmus Registered User regular
    The news post had me crying from laughter. The comic and news post today are a fantastic duo.

    steam_sig.png
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  • RatherDashing89RatherDashing89 Registered User regular
    edited August 28
    Pizza rolls and Lucky Charms both share the property with Hot Pockets and Oreos that at any given time, they sound delicious. But once I make them and eat them, I regret it immediately. Not due to any kind of healthfulness concern, but because they really don't taste good. But that is immediately forgotten when I'm no longer eating them, and even as I type this, those four foods all sound really good even though I know in my mind they are not.

    Edit: Bagel Bites, however, as genuinely good.

    RatherDashing89 on
    Sorce
  • OctoberRavenOctoberRaven Plays fighting games for the story Skyeline Hotel Apartment 4ARegistered User regular
    For those who are still wondering...

    Tostino's Pizza Rolls are... very meh. Think a bite-sized Hot Pocket.

    Currently Most Hype For: VTMB2, Cyberpunk 2077 and Death Stranding
    Currently Playing: ATOM RPG
  • AegeriAegeri Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    If Gabe agreed to clean the kitchen first, would Tycho then accept his death?

    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    He's concerned about pizza rolls and Lucky charms but that bag of off brand "cheese chips" on the refrigerator speaks for itself.

    H3KnucklesSorce
  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Pizza Rolls are great for sleepovers, game nights, and after school snacks.

  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    Pizza Rolls are great for sleepovers, game nights, slowly poisoning the spouse that was once the center of your world but who is now but a burdensome anchor that keeps you from achieving true happiness in life, and after school snacks.

    zepherin
  • doompookydoompooky Wild (Let's Draw A) Horses Couldn't Drag Me AwayRegistered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    slowly poisoning the spouse that was once the center of your world but who is now but a burdensome anchor that keeps you from achieving true happiness in life.

    Mod team I feel as though I'm being personally attacked, and dennis please stop claiming that I'm my own spouse. My relationship with pizza rolls is my own, thank you very much. But please still feel free to come over for game nights and sleepovers.

    we7ek91hy97o.png
    zepherindennisZilla360MagicalGoatsKoopahTroopah
  • zepherinzepherin Registered User regular
    doompooky wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    slowly poisoning the spouse that was once the center of your world but who is now but a burdensome anchor that keeps you from achieving true happiness in life.

    Mod team I feel as though I'm being personally attacked, and dennis please stop claiming that I'm my own spouse. My relationship with pizza rolls is my own, thank you very much. But please still feel free to come over for game nights and sleepovers.
    I come for the game night, but I stay for the slow poisoning.

    dennis
  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    doompooky wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    slowly poisoning the spouse that was once the center of your world but who is now but a burdensome anchor that keeps you from achieving true happiness in life.

    Mod team I feel as though I'm being personally attacked, and dennis please stop claiming that I'm my own spouse. My relationship with pizza rolls is my own, thank you very much. But please still feel free to come over for game nights and sleepovers.

    JMPyAGY.png

    zepherinKoopahTroopah
  • XagarXagar Registered User regular
    edited August 29
    Edit: Oops.

    On topic that last panel is done really well. A great camera angle.

    Xagar on
  • GrendusGrendus Registered User regular
    Pizza rolls are pretty good if you make them in the oven. But you've gotta let them cool off, and then eat them in the three minute window between the cheese not being molten lava and the cheese turning solid again.

    Seriously, if it wasn't so greasy that cheese would make a great heatsink.

    zepherinH3Knuckles
  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    Grendus wrote: »
    But you've gotta let them cool off, and then eat them in the three minute window between the cheese not being molten lava and the cheese turning solid again.

    But that window is SO SMALL.

    pizza.jpg

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  • ZomagicZomagic Registered User regular
    edited August 30
    I laughed a lot at how painfully accurate the reaction in that last panel is. People get so irrationally attached to foodstuffs.

    I have a related story, too! There's a discord server where I regular, and in about the past six months, I have seen a few extremely heated conversations get going over people's taste in alcohol.

    In the last one, someone started that "why drink alcohol that doesn't taste good" argument. You know, the never-dying argument of people who enjoy horribly sugary drinks, which is so regularly lobbed at people who DON'T need a minimum of 50g of ethanol-masking sugar to enjoy their liquor. I stated, very simply, that to some people, a "good" taste isn't one that tastes like cough medicine or like a fermented version of the cheap, artificially flavored drinks that our moms placed in our lunch boxes as children. That, for instance, a smooth, buttery, caramel-y flavor of a good bourbon was the "good" taste to some people, and that anything cloyingly sweet was "bad".

    Same-said person took it VERY personally and exploded at me, and continued to angrily explode, for a good half hour after I had stopped saying anything. They just could not POSSIBLY see the relative nature of good and bad when it came to one's taste in booze.

    And this is always how these conversations go. Sometimes it's not about disgustingly sweet drinks vs hard liquor. Sometimes it's people calling certain beers pisswater, or whatever. Or describing stout as burnt coffee like that's a bad thing or IPAs like drinking a bottle of soap.

    After walking away from the internet for a while, and some mulling on the subject, I posited later that booze should be as verboten a subject as religion or politics, but haven't gotten any feedback on that yet.

    Zomagic on
  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    Zomagic wrote: »
    You know, the never-dying argument of people who enjoy horribly sugary drinks, which is so regularly lobbed at people who DON'T need a minimum of 50g of ethanol-masking sugar to enjoy their liquor. I stated, very simply, that to some people, a "good" taste isn't one that tastes like cough medicine or like a fermented version of the cheap, artificially flavored drinks that our moms placed in our lunch boxes as children. That, for instance, a smooth, buttery, caramel-y flavor of a good bourbon was the "good" taste to some people, and that anything cloyingly sweet was "bad".

    Well, I'm just glad you didn't overshoot and wind up acting just as judgy about their drink choices as they did about yours.

    Phoenix-DTofystedethDjiemRhesus Positive
  • ZomagicZomagic Registered User regular
    edited August 30
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    You know, the never-dying argument of people who enjoy horribly sugary drinks, which is so regularly lobbed at people who DON'T need a minimum of 50g of ethanol-masking sugar to enjoy their liquor. I stated, very simply, that to some people, a "good" taste isn't one that tastes like cough medicine or like a fermented version of the cheap, artificially flavored drinks that our moms placed in our lunch boxes as children. That, for instance, a smooth, buttery, caramel-y flavor of a good bourbon was the "good" taste to some people, and that anything cloyingly sweet was "bad".

    Well, I'm just glad you didn't overshoot and wind up acting just as judgy about their drink choices as they did about yours.

    I mean, clearly I did, but that was part of the point. The whole thing is "stop liking what I don't like", and I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks. I don't think I've ever seen someone go "Boy oh gee, what is UP with people who drink COCKTAILS? That shit is disgusting." It's always some little asshat who thinks a quart of boiled-down hawaiian punch concentrate with a half jigger of vodka is the best and only way to consume alcohol. Which isn't to say that an argument like this has NEVER been started by someone who just sips liquor neat, but it's definitely not the overwhelming trend. My commentary is more a lampoon than a judgment. I don't think anyone is more or less of a person based on what they like to drink. But I do think that the drinks themselves are horrible, and I get irritated with seeing the kind of people who should be the least snobby about what they're drinking, be the ones sneering down their noses the most. I would commit no greater stink about it than a couple of lines of sarcastic rebuttal, but people take it so personally as to, as stated, rant on about it for half an hour.

    Just like we see Gabe here going for a knife over a distinct lack of Pizza Rolls and Lucky Charms, it's pretty silly.

    This whole conversation is exactly my point lol.

    It's sort of similar to people who don't like pineapple on pizza. You never see someone who DOES like pineapple on pizza getting their panties in a twist when someone orders pepperoni and sausage. But oh man, if someone DOESN'T like pineapple on pizza, they're usually SO happy to get upset about it. Even if it's not their pizza, and nobody's making them eat it. It's pretty much the same. People who like sugary drinks are constantly going on about how bad booze tastes by itself, and people who enjoy alcohol without any cover-up fluids, tend to be completely fine if you wanna drink an appletini.

    Zomagic on
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    edited August 30
    It depends, really. Bitter can be as polarizing a flavor as cilantro.

    I personally don’t care much for straight booze or for coffee. But I wouldn’t order a non-diet soda either; way too sweet. It all depends on what balance of stuff you prefer. Being that there’s no objective answer, going off on it really is silly, yes. Nobody’s going to be proven wrong in a matter of taste.

    I do like a good cider, though. Especially if there’s some sourness to it. A good mixed drink is also nice.

    Enlong on
    YggiDee wrote: »
    Having teenaged RPG leads is really cool until you stop being a teenager yourself. Do you remember being seventeen? You're a dumbass at seventeen! I wanna be saved by the guy who's twenty-seven. He's at least payed taxes. He knows how to do shit. He can drive.
    Zomagic
  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    Zomagic wrote: »
    I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks

    And yet, here we are.

    zepherinRatherDashing89DjiemRhesus Positive
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited September 1
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks

    And yet, here we are.

    Yeah, I pretty much exclusively see these arguments started by that group. Like in this thread, for example.

    Djiem on
  • ZomagicZomagic Registered User regular
    edited September 1
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks

    And yet, here we are.
    Djiem wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks

    And yet, here we are.

    Yeah, I pretty much exclusively see these arguments started by that group. Like in this thread, for example.


    I'm so happy that my taste in alcoholic beverages (or any foodstuffs) isn't such a core part of my identity, that I miss the point of what a person was saying, because I'm too pissy to understand an intentional lampoon, even after it is lampshaded. Nothing I have said is any more offensive than calling pizza rolls cholesterol grenades that detonate later in life. I'm sad that y'all think me insulting a drink is equivalent to insulting you, because you like the drink. I'm also real sad about the fact that relating a story where I was pointing out how dumb someone was being, caused people to immediately take that exact same action. I was telling a story where the point was to humorously convey how ridiculous (X) is and you guys are literally doing (X), and insisting I've started an argument. I don't feel like this takes a genius level IQ to grasp, but yes. Here we are.

    Today, I have lost a little more faith in humanity. I'm out.

    PS- I actually really like mudslides, but I'm sure you guys have painted me into this scotch-drinking cigar-smoking villain with a handlebar mustache by now, so. Effit.

    Zomagic on
  • FireballDragonFireballDragon Registered User regular
    I never cared for Lucky Charms. I was always more into Trix.

  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Zomagic wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks

    And yet, here we are.
    Djiem wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks

    And yet, here we are.

    Yeah, I pretty much exclusively see these arguments started by that group. Like in this thread, for example.


    I'm so happy that my taste in alcoholic beverages (or any foodstuffs) isn't such a core part of my identity, that I miss the point of what a person was saying, because I'm too pissy to understand an intentional lampoon, even after it is lampshaded. Nothing I have said is any more offensive than calling pizza rolls cholesterol grenades that detonate later in life. I'm sad that y'all think me insulting a drink is equivalent to insulting you, because you like the drink. I'm also real sad about the fact that relating a story where I was pointing out how dumb someone was being, caused people to immediately take that exact same action. I was telling a story where the point was to humorously convey how ridiculous (X) is and you guys are literally doing (X), and insisting I've started an argument. I don't feel like this takes a genius level IQ to grasp, but yes. Here we are.

    Today, I have lost a little more faith in humanity. I'm out.

    PS- I actually really like mudslides, but I'm sure you guys have painted me into this scotch-drinking cigar-smoking villain with a handlebar mustache by now, so. Effit.

    ??????

    YggiDee wrote: »
    Having teenaged RPG leads is really cool until you stop being a teenager yourself. Do you remember being seventeen? You're a dumbass at seventeen! I wanna be saved by the guy who's twenty-seven. He's at least payed taxes. He knows how to do shit. He can drive.
    dennisDjiem
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    I never cared for Lucky Charms. I was always more into Trix.

    You probably put ice in your Trix too...

    "Never believe management about anything anywhere." -Aistan
  • dennisdennis Registered User regular
    Zomagic wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    Zomagic wrote: »
    You know, the never-dying argument of people who enjoy horribly sugary drinks, which is so regularly lobbed at people who DON'T need a minimum of 50g of ethanol-masking sugar to enjoy their liquor. I stated, very simply, that to some people, a "good" taste isn't one that tastes like cough medicine or like a fermented version of the cheap, artificially flavored drinks that our moms placed in our lunch boxes as children. That, for instance, a smooth, buttery, caramel-y flavor of a good bourbon was the "good" taste to some people, and that anything cloyingly sweet was "bad".

    Well, I'm just glad you didn't overshoot and wind up acting just as judgy about their drink choices as they did about yours.

    I mean, clearly I did, but that was part of the point. The whole thing is "stop liking what I don't like", and I almost never see these things started by people who just enjoy a scotch on the rocks. I don't think I've ever seen someone go "Boy oh gee, what is UP with people who drink COCKTAILS? That shit is disgusting." It's always some little asshat who thinks a quart of boiled-down hawaiian punch concentrate with a half jigger of vodka is the best and only way to consume alcohol. Which isn't to say that an argument like this has NEVER been started by someone who just sips liquor neat, but it's definitely not the overwhelming trend. My commentary is more a lampoon than a judgment. I don't think anyone is more or less of a person based on what they like to drink. But I do think that the drinks themselves are horrible, and I get irritated with seeing the kind of people who should be the least snobby about what they're drinking, be the ones sneering down their noses the most. I would commit no greater stink about it than a couple of lines of sarcastic rebuttal, but people take it so personally as to, as stated, rant on about it for half an hour.

    Just like we see Gabe here going for a knife over a distinct lack of Pizza Rolls and Lucky Charms, it's pretty silly.

    This whole conversation is exactly my point lol.

    It's sort of similar to people who don't like pineapple on pizza. You never see someone who DOES like pineapple on pizza getting their panties in a twist when someone orders pepperoni and sausage. But oh man, if someone DOESN'T like pineapple on pizza, they're usually SO happy to get upset about it. Even if it's not their pizza, and nobody's making them eat it. It's pretty much the same. People who like sugary drinks are constantly going on about how bad booze tastes by itself, and people who enjoy alcohol without any cover-up fluids, tend to be completely fine if you wanna drink an appletini.

    The thing is, it's a joke.

    You might be overthinking it a tad.

  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited September 2
    Sorry you've lost a bit more faith in humanity today.

    "and I get irritated with seeing the kind of people who should be the least snobby about what they're drinking, be the ones sneering down their noses the most."

    Maybe you could fill the void your lost faith left behind with some self-awareness? You've painted yourself as the bastion of neutrality in this alcohol discussion yet your choice of words was loaded at every turn. Everything read like: "These insults are always throw by people who are unable to drink alcohol without unloading a truckload of sugar on it."

    Not people who prefer something different.
    People who can't handle what you can handle.


    You can make any claim to the effect that you're not being serious, but you can't read the mind of the sugary drinkers, they might be just as invested (or not) as you into the subject.

    At the end of the day though, the result is the same; your behavior here is no different than theirs.

    Djiem on
    dennis
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