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who do you want to sell you a CPAP machine?

CelloCello Registered User regular
in Social Entropy++
After spending a week bedridden with nothing but William Shatner's commercials to distract me, I've reached the question to define our era

Which pop culture stars of today will be the Brimleys and Foremans of tomorrow? Who do you think will be the ones to tell you about senior life and auto insurance when you're old and grey?

Steam
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«1345

Posts

  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Well Jack Black actually uses a CPAP, so I'd trust his endorsement, and we already know he's charismatic as fuck.

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Paul Giamatti.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    I thought this was one of those spam advertisement threads we've been getting lately

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Lord Satan the Fallen Morningstar

    Do you like my photos? The stupid things I say? The way I am alive? You can contribute to that staying the same through the following link

    https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    I thought this was one of those spam advertisement threads we've been getting lately

    No no, it's not spam

    It's market research

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    Well Jack Black actually uses a CPAP, so I'd trust his endorsement, and we already know he's charismatic as fuck.

    yeah but he's also an unbearable asshole so...

    i'd listen to kathleen madigan sell me air

  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    I could see Eddie Vedder hocking stuff on TV

    though I have no idea why I think that

    Fixer Restorations -/- Satan's Wish List!!!!
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    Well Jack Black actually uses a CPAP, so I'd trust his endorsement, and we already know he's charismatic as fuck.

    yeah but he's also an unbearable asshole so...

    i'd listen to kathleen madigan sell me air

    Eh? I have never heard this. Everyone I know or have talked to who's met the guy said he was a peach.

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    Well Jack Black actually uses a CPAP, so I'd trust his endorsement, and we already know he's charismatic as fuck.

    yeah but he's also an unbearable asshole so...

    i'd listen to kathleen madigan sell me air

    Eh? I have never heard this. Everyone I know or have talked to who's met the guy said he was a peach.

    kathy griffin dated him. he's a huge user; if you have value to get him somewhere he'll treat you like gold otherwise you don't exist

  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    bernie

    EzUAYcn.png
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    crwth wrote: »
    bernie

    I am once again asking for you to buy the B-Man Sleep Solution

  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    Well Jack Black actually uses a CPAP, so I'd trust his endorsement, and we already know he's charismatic as fuck.

    yeah but he's also an unbearable asshole so...

    i'd listen to kathleen madigan sell me air

    Eh? I have never heard this. Everyone I know or have talked to who's met the guy said he was a peach.

    kathy griffin dated him. he's a huge user; if you have value to get him somewhere he'll treat you like gold otherwise you don't exist

    Oh, yeah, I'm sure in his early 20's (i.e. when they dated) he was a bit of a prick. Everything I know about him now suggests that he's not the same person at all, as happens to most of us.

  • I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    me

    liEt3nH.png
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2020
    I'm not sure who I WANT to sell me cyberpunk old age assistive devices but I'll tell you who definitely WILL be doing that job and that is John Cena.

    tynic on
    phots on my flickr pics on my tumblr
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    We know the Manning brothers will sell things until the day they die. Shaq will also sell anything you put in front of him.

    After that, I'd say Mario Lopez and Joey Fatone.

  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    I'm not sure who I WANT to sell me cyberpunk old age assistive devices but I'll tell you who definitely WILL be doing that job and that is John Cena.

    Seems weird to pick an invisible spokesperson, though.

  • EinzelEinzel Registered User regular
    Lindsay Lohan wrote: »
    We know the Manning brothers will sell things until the day they die. Shaq will also sell anything you put in front of him.

    After that, I'd say Mario Lopez and Joey Fatone.

    You can add Dan Marino, too.

  • I ZimbraI Zimbra Worst song, played on ugliest guitar Registered User regular
    I'd definitely buy some air from Donald Sutherland.

  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Tyler Perry would shill reverse mortgages.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    my personal comfort, thrashing, and unnatural contortions are so important when I'm trying to sleep, I'd probably risk dying rather than wear a CPAP

  • IronKnuckle's GhostIronKnuckle's Ghost This is also my fault Registered User regular
    Hi I'm Michael Cera and I'd like to talk to you about those uncomfortable catheters.

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    I'm not sure who I WANT to sell me cyberpunk old age assistive devices but I'll tell you who definitely WILL be doing that job and that is John Cena.

    Nah, he's got better---
    IronKnuckle's Ghost wrote: »
    Hi I'm Michael Cera and I'd like to talk to you about those uncomfortable catheters.

    I rescind my objection. Guy wants people to be happy and comfortable and this is a major obstacle.

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I need a CPAP machine. Just haven't gotten into my doctor about it yet

  • NorgothNorgoth cardiffRegistered User regular
    I mean really, no-one should be selling you. CPAP, they should just you know, be free.

    The real answer is the best person to sell you a CPAP is someone who has a partner that uses one.

    Horror Short stories and other associated writing.
  • OdinOdin Registered User regular
    Bob Odenkirk could probably sell me anything

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Who can do the best Paul Harvey impression?

  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    It's tempting to go into a tirade about how the multi millionaire celebrities should have some compassion and I don't know, give everyone on Earth a CPAP machine, but that won't happen, so

    Shaq
    Michael Cera
    Eric Andre
    Amy Poehler
    Tina Fey
    Maya Rudolph
    Tom Holland
    Nick Offerman

  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
    Hatsune Miku

    uc3ufTB.png
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    DouglasDanger wrote: »
    It's tempting to go into a tirade about how the multi millionaire celebrities should have some compassion and I don't know, give everyone on Earth a CPAP machine, but that won't happen, so

    Shaq

    The CPAP ATTACK

  • IronKnuckle's GhostIronKnuckle's Ghost This is also my fault Registered User regular
    Hey guys, it's me Ninja. Today I'd like to talk to you about this amazing back brace, at no cost to you!

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    IronKnuckle's Ghost wrote: »
    Hey guys, it's me Ninja. Today I'd like to talk to you about this amazing back brace, at no cost to you!

    Have years of sitting in a chair left your legs useless and atrophied?

    Get the new Ninja Brace.

    Over 100 skins and each one is only $10!

  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    I want Tim and Eric to sell me Cinco products,

    But for real.

  • I ZimbraI Zimbra Worst song, played on ugliest guitar Registered User regular
    70 year old Tim & Eric telling me all about the benefits of investing in gold.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville and-

  • StiltsStilts Registered User regular
    Keanu Reeves will be 100 years old and still look amazing while he’s convincing me to buy a motorcycle.

    IKknkhU.gif
  • MolotovCockatooMolotovCockatoo Registered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    I'd definitely buy some air from Donald Sutherland.

    He's on the Orange Juice money now

    Poorochondriac wrote: »
    Killjoy wrote: »
    No jeez Orik why do you assume the worst about people?

    Because he moderates an internet forum

    http://lexiconmegatherium.tumblr.com/
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    DouglasDanger wrote: »
    It's tempting to go into a tirade about how the multi millionaire celebrities should have some compassion and I don't know, give everyone on Earth a CPAP machine, but that won't happen, so

    Shaq
    Michael Cera
    Eric Andre
    Amy Poehler
    Tina Fey
    Maya Rudolph
    Tom Holland
    Nick Offerman

    Shaq sounds like he needs a CPAP. I'd believe him if he told me he used one.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited February 2020
    "Hi, I'm ProZd, but you probably know me better as Archibald from King Dragon or Lamp-senpai from The Tomoko Chairem Anime Canon. I'm here to tell you about 17 different flavors of Ensure, most of which suck."

    Quid on
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    Who will be the Bob Dole erectile dysfunction spokesperson of 2040?

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Quid wrote: »
    "Hi, I'm ProZd, but you probably know me better as Archibald from King Dragon or Lamp-senpai from The Tomoko Chairem Anime Canon. I'm here to tell you about 17 different flavors of Ensure, most of which suck."

    This is a terrible sales pitch!

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