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Death scares the shit out of me.

2

Posts

  • Anarchy Rules!Anarchy Rules! Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What always worries me when I start thinking about death is not about the end of existance, but of the end of consciousness.

    Anarchy Rules! on
  • Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    try not to think of yourself as an organic pain collector rushing toward oblivion
    whoops

    Randall_Flagg on
  • hamburger helperhamburger helper Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Ride life like a fucking rocket.

    hamburger helper on
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  • hamburger helperhamburger helper Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    try not to think of yourself as an organic pain collector rushing toward oblivion
    whoops

    I read that phrase in a Dilbert comic

    hamburger helper on
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  • gneGnegneGne Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I've never really thought about death... am I retarded?

    gneGne on
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  • SoonerManSoonerMan Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    On the faith and science/religion thing... I guess you could look at it like this.

    The religious scripts are recounts of whoever in the case of the Bible. In the other texts, its someone telling them what God told them (I know this isn't the best description.)

    What are science books or journals? You've never seen these atoms and quarks, but you still believe they exist because some guy has a white coat on when he's writing this.

    If you can have the same respect for religion by believing something you don't see, then I think you can see something in religion for you. I see religion in a reasonable way, I don't believe the Bible is 100% accurate nor are the other religious texts, it's been too fucking long since they've been written-- too many people fucking with them.

    Relax.

    SoonerMan on
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  • MikestaMikesta Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I now believe that everything exists in a series of spectrums: everything from touch, to sentience, to consciousness, to life and death. There are degrees of these things that can be quantified by humans and machines, and degrees that cannot. Therefore, your consciousness cannot ever really cease to exist, just as your life will never cease to exist. Throughout eternity, these things will all fluctuate, but they won't ever cease, because nothing ceases.
    It's within this mentality that we can explain the fact that no one ever touches anyone else, or exists in some specific location, or whatever. Within this reasoning, even the "big freeze" or "heat death" scenarios wouldn't result in the universe "dying" entirely, just changing. And there'd always be the possibility that the universe could repeat itself, and that the matter making me up could reconfigure itself and come back the same way it exists now.

    Mikesta on
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  • MikestaMikesta Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Man, I've been thinking in the abstract so much over the last few weeks, it's impossible for me to say something without thinking "well, that isn't completely true." And because the word "complete" is utterly arbitrary anyway, I actually thought of that when I said "completely" just now. Jeez.

    Mikesta on
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  • FireflashFireflash Montreal, QCRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    You will keep on living through your children.

    Fireflash on
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  • DrFrylockDrFrylock Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    SoonerMan wrote: »
    What are science books or journals? You've never seen these atoms and quarks, but you still believe they exist because some guy has a white coat on when he's writing this.

    Um, no. Even the guys in the white coats will tell you that this is NOT the reason you're supposed to believe them. You're supposed to believe them because they contain theoretical formulae that do an exceptionally good job of predicting repeatably observable phenomena. Those observations are described in the other science books by other men in white coats. The formulas for electrons are unbelievably accurate. The error has been described by Feynman as "measuring the distance from New York to Los Angeles to within the width of a single human hair." You believe these things not because the people in the white coats say so, but because you too could repeat exactly what they did and find the same results. Over and over and over again.
    Therefore, your consciousness cannot ever really cease to exist, just as your life will never cease to exist.

    Yes, it can. And it will. As far as I'm aware, all the evidence we have indicates that consciousness is a creation of the brain. The brain dies, so does consciousness. People with increasing degrees of brain damage have correspondingly great degrees of defects in perception and consciousness. It even seems that certain kinds of brain damage change your personality. You are your brain. No brain, no you. If you feel otherwise, please explain the state of your life and consciousness in the year, say, 1066. You were dead then. You'll get there again.

    DrFrylock on
  • ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Someone else has said Quantum Immortality, but so will I. I 'believe' in it as much as someone can believe in a scientific theory, if parallel universes do exist it seems pretty logical to me (I kinda came up with it on my own before I even knew it had an actual name and all). So I think there's actually a chance I could live pretty much forever, at least past the point where I'd want to still be living.

    After all, the only downside is that it says you'll live practically forever, not that you'll be in a state worth living.

    Scooter on
  • sirSolariussirSolarius Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    When I come across this problem, I think about sleep.

    When you're asleep, you don't know that you're asleep, really. Time passes like lightning and you're in a semi-conscious state. If you don't remember your dream, you might as well be dead.

    This seems trivial and stupid, but you don't know that you're dead. You don't have the ability to think "oh fuck!" There's no "you" to think it. No regrets, nothing -- just like when you're asleep and not dreaming.

    sirSolarius on
  • MegalodonMegalodon Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I've heard it said that the knowledge of their own mortality sets humans apart. Just examining this thread seems to suggest otherwise. I remember a class in high school where a hospice chaplain came in as a guest speaker, and asked various people if they were going to die. When he asked me, I was surprised how long it took me to say yes. Most people didn't say yes at all. Not sure if there's any real advice in there, but the fact is, there are no easy answers when it comes to dealing with your own mortality.

    Megalodon on
  • TechBoyTechBoy Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    What is there to fear about death?

    Instead of creating ridiculously convoluted theories about what happens after death, figure out for yourself what about death is so horrible that you have to lose sleep over it.

    What if a burglar breaks into your home right now and shoots you in the head. BAM. You're dead. Assuming you don't believe in any sort of afterlife, you are now gone. You aren't conscious, aware, able to think or perceive. When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's like being in dreamless sleep. To me that doesn't seem to be to bad. (I personally think quantum immortality, being reincarnated as a worm, wandering the earth for eternity as a ghost, and of course burning in hell are all worse alternatives - anyways, not about me)

    Reading your posts though, it doesn't seem you are afraid of the STATE of being dead, you're afraid of dying.

    There could be millions of reasons for this, and you have to figure out for yourself what you are afraid of. Whether its knowing that you'll be leaving loved ones and things behind, worried that you have only a tiny amount of time to do the infinite things in life, fearing that what you do in life is inconsequential and pointless, or just general fear that time is ticking away and you haven't done anything with your life.

    Think it over and let us know, but do keep in mind what others have said. The legacy that you leave behind, the memories you imprint on others (and perhaps if you're lucky, the history books) are in a sense immortal. They transcend death. What's more, don't think of death as a horrible fate we are all doomed to, think of it as merely an end. An end to the joys of life, but also to its miseries. You can't make enemies when you're dead, you can't grow old and senile and bald when you're dead. Sure, death isn't the greatest thing that can happen to you, but it's far from the worst (On my list, missing sleep ranks pretty high :P ).

    TechBoy on
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  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Mikesta wrote: »
    Man, I've been thinking in the abstract so much over the last few weeks, it's impossible for me to say something without thinking "well, that isn't completely true." And because the word "complete" is utterly arbitrary anyway, I actually thought of that when I said "completely" just now. Jeez.

    Everyone is going to die, regardless of whether or not they're afraid of it. There is nothing to be gained from the fear, and pretty much your whole life to lose. It's impossible to hide from death, people who try are only really hiding from life.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Mikesta wrote: »
    Offer me answers, offer me comfort, whatever. Please, help me chill, but don't lie to me about my future. Thanks.

    There are no answers. And the comfort you must finds comes from your own acceptance of what it is to be human.

    The best way to deal with this is figure out what exactly bothers you about death, and the find out why that bothers you. You said that you were afraid of not existing. Why? If you cease to exist what is there to fear? You will fear nothing in that state, you will not exist, so why would you fear a state of existence in which you would fear nothing?

    Edit:
    Mikesta wrote: »
    Guys, the concept of death and the possibility of the nonexistence of an afterlife has been scaring the shit out of me lately. I've been thinking about it constantly. I don't want to just "cease", or otherwise have my consciousness disappear completely. I'd like to believe that my component parts might come together sometime in the future, say, after all of the matter and energy in the universe retracts into one super-dense whole and then disperses again.

    Why would your consciousness disappearing bother you? Why do you fear not existing?

    I've never understood why a person would fear this, so I would like to know why you fear it.

    _J_ on
  • meatflowermeatflower Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    When I come across this problem, I think about sleep.

    When you're asleep, you don't know that you're asleep, really. Time passes like lightning and you're in a semi-conscious state. If you don't remember your dream, you might as well be dead.

    This seems trivial and stupid, but you don't know that you're dead. You don't have the ability to think "oh fuck!" There's no "you" to think it. No regrets, nothing -- just like when you're asleep and not dreaming.

    This is pretty much what I believe and honestly it gives me solace. When you die you won't even know it, walking along one moment, and then gone the next. Just..."off". As sirSolarius said, like a dreamless sleep except you don't wake up.

    I don't believe in an afterlife, reincarnation, or such constructs as heaven or hell. I mean if there is something, awesome, but honestly...I highly doubt it.

    It doesn't really matter.

    meatflower on
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  • XenosX_XenosX_ Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    If you really don't think you could bring yourself to find religions, I would read 'Thanatopsis' by William Cullen Bryant. I'm not a big poetry person, but I find it really comforting.

    http://www.bartleby.com/102/16.html

    XenosX_ on
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    meatflower wrote: »
    I don't believe in an afterlife, reincarnation, or such constructs as heaven or hell. I mean if there is something, awesome, but honestly...I highly doubt it.

    It doesn't really matter.

    I find it very odd that you say, "if there is something, awesome" regarding the existence of hell.

    I do not think that it does not matter. Because if after we die something happens for all of eternity then that very much matters. The problem is that we can't know what happens. So it is not as if the question of what happens after death does not matter, it's just that we cannot answer it. In fact, it may be the most important question to answer.

    But we can't answer it.

    So we just exist in that little hole of knowing that there is this important question we cannot answer.

    _J_ on
  • PheezerPheezer Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Mikesta wrote: »
    Man, I've been thinking in the abstract so much over the last few weeks, it's impossible for me to say something without thinking "well, that isn't completely true." And because the word "complete" is utterly arbitrary anyway, I actually thought of that when I said "completely" just now. Jeez.

    Everyone is going to die, regardless of whether or not they're afraid of it. There is nothing to be gained from the fear, and pretty much your whole life to lose. It's impossible to hide from death, people who try are only really hiding from life.

    This is what I was going to type, only I was going to finish it off with "so stop being a fucking sissy"

    Pheezer on
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  • WalriWalri Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Find a meaning and purpose in life that is not "enjoying yourself," and dealing with the reality of death will become a lot easier.

    I don't think that fear of death is a good reason to look into religion or any other spiritual or scientific beliefs - I think that the best motive to change your beliefs is a simple desire for the truth. Better than reassuring yourself that you will always exist is dealing with the reality of death and knowing that you have lived a meaningful life that is meaningful whether or not you exist after you die.

    (Side note: People who say religion is just a means of avoiding the reality of death and providing a sense of security are also the people who say that religion instills fear into people and controls how they act based on the post-death consequences.

    Being a Catholic, I believe that I will exist after I die. I realize that if I don't do everything I can to live a good life, I will face the consequences, but if I try my best, even if I fail, to find the truth and live by it, I will find comfort when I die (and before I die, but for other reasons). I don't have a false sense of security, because I know that it's not easy living a good life, but I don't have a lot of fear, either, because I know that all God asks for is my best.)

    Even if you don't end up finding some belief that says you will exist after death (and even the most religious people have doubts about the afterlife anyway), I can say for certain that if you devote yourself to serving others, you will have less time and less inclination to worry about yourself.

    Walri on
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  • MegalodonMegalodon Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    _J_ wrote: »
    meatflower wrote: »
    I don't believe in an afterlife, reincarnation, or such constructs as heaven or hell. I mean if there is something, awesome, but honestly...I highly doubt it.

    It doesn't really matter.

    I find it very odd that you say, "if there is something, awesome" regarding the existence of hell.

    I do not think that it does not matter. Because if after we die something happens for all of eternity then that very much matters. The problem is that we can't know what happens. So it is not as if the question of what happens after death does not matter, it's just that we cannot answer it. In fact, it may be the most important question to answer.

    But we can't answer it.

    So we just exist in that little hole of knowing that there is this important question we cannot answer.

    I think the idea here is that because we can't know the answer, we can do nothing, and therefore thinking about the afterlife is of little consequence. A question that is impossible to answer isn't a question at all. It's a waste of time.

    Megalodon on
  • HewnHewn Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Prot3us wrote: »
    Did you also worry about this before you were born?

    I think that gets to the point rather effectively.
    meatflower wrote:
    This is pretty much what I believe and honestly it gives me solace. When you die you won't even know it, walking along one moment, and then gone the next. Just..."off". As sirSolarius said, like a dreamless sleep except you don't wake up.

    To add to what sirSolarius and meatflower said, this is the state your body goes through when under anesthesia. If you've ever been put under for surgery, you know it's very much a situation where you are awake one moment, then start to fade, then you wake up an hour later with your family next to you.

    What this procedure does is put your body into a controlled state of near death. Which is of course why the people in charge of it are so highly trained and well paid, and why you are told "Oh hey, some people don't wake up." The point is, it's completely painless and the loss in time isn't missed or even known.

    I imagine death is much like that. Meaning, yeah that's sort of discomforting to think of not thinking anymore, but all said and done I know I won't care too much. After all, a healthy fear of death is essential to survival, but there comes a point where it becomes fruitless.

    Hewn on
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  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    This significantly bugs me sometimes, usually when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep. I have to turn on the light and get out of bed and distract myself, and sometimes I end up thinking about it again. Mostly my problem is that, from my perspective, my death is the end of the entire universe. What does it matter if there's a trillion years between my death and the big crunch or whatever. When I die, for me time compresses down to that very instant.

    I've found watching Six Feet Under has helped?

    desperaterobots on
  • taliosfalcontaliosfalcon Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I've always believed that when you die, you simply cease to exist, no more anything. Which freaked me out quite a bit when i was younger, i mean i dont really care if people remember me or if i have children carrying my genes, i'm dead, gone, no longer in existence. But as i grew older i gradually stopped fearing/worrying about simply because I came to accept the fact that there was nothing I could do to change it, so I should just enjoy the time I have and stop worrying about things I can't change.

    taliosfalcon on
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  • Namel3ssNamel3ss Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I feel there was a good deal of great advice shared. However, finding meaning in death, be it through religion, relationships etc. is a very personal journey; because of this I would like to reiterate what one person wrote and recommend that you just sit down and write (make sketches etc). Just fuckin write. . .
    Why are you concerned?
    What have you seen in this life that you want to continue?
    Which philosophies do you subscribe to?
    Who is important to you?
    How have you already changed the people around you?
    How would you like to in the future?
    How would you design an afterlife?
    The list goes on and on. . .

    Namel3ss on
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  • FawfulFawful __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    The number 1 solution to this (and pretty much any other thing you worry about, ever), is that when you actually are dead, you won't care about it anymore. Since you won't care about anything at all anymore.

    This way, the idea that nothing lasts and death is inevitable, can actually be something reassuring and give you comfort and perspective (not meant in a suicidal way or something, but you get what I mean) when things are at their worst or most worrisome - instead of something to fear.

    Hope that helps.

    Fawful on
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  • GeodGeod swim, swim, hungryRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    In a sense, I actually look forward to dying. But I have a strong Christian faith, so I don't worry about what happens afterwards, but instead leave it in the hands of God. Particularly, because I believe the next life after death is more so the beginning rather than the end.

    Geod on
  • Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Argh!

    The only thing to fear is not to have done the things which you want to do. I fear the games I will not get to play, the books I will not read, the animals I will not get to see, the people I will not get to talk to. I can hardly be concerned about something that will not affect me...my non-existence.

    The solution - do the things you want to do, do them as much as possible, minimise missing out on the things that you want to experience, that's the only sane thing to do.

    Apothe0sis on
  • Folken FanelFolken Fanel anime af When's KoFRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Apothe0sis wrote: »
    Argh!

    The only thing to fear is not to have done the things which you want to do. I fear the games I will not get to play, the books I will not read, the animals I will not get to see, the people I will not get to talk to. I can hardly be concerned about something that will not affect me...my non-existence.

    The solution - do the things you want to do, do them as much as possible, minimise missing out on the things that you want to experience, that's the only sane thing to do.

    This is essentially the advice I was about to give. I have no idea what the hell is going to happen to me after death. Maybe my ass is going to burn in hell. Maybe I'll go on to paradise. Maybe I'll float around doing nothing.

    I had better make damn sure that I accomplish everything in life that I want to get done, because once I'm done on this planet, who's to say what happens. Its in this way that the uncertainty itself is comforting because its a motivating factor in deciding to be a better person while I'm alive. I'm more afraid of not accomplishing all my goals than anything else.

    Folken Fanel on
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  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    My biggest fear is damaging my teeth.

    If i get into a fight, that is pretty much my only worry..

    So, wait: you're saying that you'd rather die than chip a tooth?

    I'm in college in Australia, the odds of being beaten to death are extremely low, especially as my enemies are, well, rather pathetic. The risk of damaging my teeth or the braces apon them though, is fairly high if I'm in a fight with someone who genuinely wants to cause some serious harm.

    My parents have instilled a bit of "IF YOU DAMAGE A TOOTH THE WORLD WILL COLLAPSE APON YOU AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET A JOB OR ANY FRIENDS, EVER!" in me.

    The Black Hunter on
  • KamiKami Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I've found watching Six Feet Under has helped?

    I swear, this has eased my acceptance of death far more than anything I've read in a religious text.

    Kami on
  • MuddBuddMuddBudd Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    MuddBudd on
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  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I'm all for the humor approach... Humor gets me through almost all my problems, so here is some George Carlin on death:

    "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."

    "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

    "Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? 'Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.'"

    misbehavin on
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    And now an excerpt from Carlin's older show "George Carlin Again!" on Death:
    Your all going to die. Didn't mean to remind you of it, but it is on your schedule. Probably won't happen when you want. Usually comes along when your not expecting, maybe you have your stamp collection out.

    "Now?"
    "Now."

    You just want a little time to put away your hinges. But no... Theres a time to die, and its ok, its really ok... No one WANTS to die... Well, most people. But most don't want to die... Man, if you think being sick is no fun... I mean, no one minds BEING dead... Being dead is GREAT! But no wants to get dead...

    ...Everyone wants to know, where do I go when I die? I think you go where you think you're gonna go. You know those guys who say, "Naw, don't pray for me, I'm going to hell."... He is! I believe when you die, your soul goes to a garage in Buffalo. When Monty Hall dies, he goes behind door number four...

    ...No, no one wants to die, and the reason is that damned funeral. Man, those are no fun! If I don't like other peoples funerals, how am I gonna like my own? With everyone looking at me? And those people are always silent... And you know what they're thinking? They're subtracting their age from yours... So they know approximately how much time they have left. And they say "Don't he look good?"... "Are you crazy, he's DEAD!" And they say the nicest things... No matter how much of an asshole you were, they always think you're such a great guy... And all the flowers you could ever want arrive, only too late.

    misbehavin on
  • SonosSonos Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    use religion as a choice of logic then.

    if god exists and I choose to not believe in him I die and then lose.
    if god exists and I choose to believe in him I die and then win.
    if god does not exist and I choose to believe in him I cease to exist.
    if god does not exist and I choose to not believe in him I cease to exist.

    the only positive answer is the second outcome therefore the logical choice is to believe in god. some french philsopher came out with that one during enlightenment I believe but it does follow an intelligent path.

    Sonos on
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  • GanluanGanluan Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Sonos wrote: »
    use religion as a choice of logic then.

    if god exists and I choose to not believe in him I die and then lose.
    if god exists and I choose to believe in him I die and then win.
    if god does not exist and I choose to believe in him I cease to exist.
    if god does not exist and I choose to not believe in him I cease to exist.

    the only positive answer is the second outcome therefore the logical choice is to believe in god. some french philsopher came out with that one during enlightenment I believe but it does follow an intelligent path.

    Believing in a religion just to hedge your bets for the afterlife seems like it's kind of defeating the point.

    Ganluan on
  • misbehavinmisbehavin Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Sonos wrote: »
    use religion as a choice of logic then.

    if god exists and I choose to not believe in him I die and then lose.
    if god exists and I choose to believe in him I die and then win.
    if god does not exist and I choose to believe in him I cease to exist.
    if god does not exist and I choose to not believe in him I cease to exist.

    the only positive answer is the second outcome therefore the logical choice is to believe in god. some french philsopher came out with that one during enlightenment I believe but it does follow an intelligent path.

    I don't know how I feel about this or religion in general, but some might argue the bolded part above has very negative aspects, such as, wasting time that could have been spent enjoying life in a meaningless activity, so it's not foolproof logic.

    misbehavin on
  • SonosSonos Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    stryker116 wrote: »
    Sonos wrote: »
    use religion as a choice of logic then.

    if god exists and I choose to not believe in him I die and then lose.
    if god exists and I choose to believe in him I die and then win.
    if god does not exist and I choose to believe in him I cease to exist.
    if god does not exist and I choose to not believe in him I cease to exist.

    the only positive answer is the second outcome therefore the logical choice is to believe in god. some french philsopher came out with that one during enlightenment I believe but it does follow an intelligent path.

    Believing in a religion just to hedge your bets for the afterlife seems like it's kind of defeating the point.


    the philosopher just took a logical approach to religion. how people followed the answer wasn't his point. it was during the Period of Enlightenment I am sure it was in response to the tide of anti-religious sentiment.

    wish I could remember the dude's name.

    Sonos on
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  • Raiden333Raiden333 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Sonos wrote: »
    use religion as a choice of logic then.

    if god exists and I choose to not believe in him I die and then lose.
    if god exists and I choose to believe in him I die and then win.
    if god does not exist and I choose to believe in him I cease to exist.
    if god does not exist and I choose to not believe in him I cease to exist.

    the only positive answer is the second outcome therefore the logical choice is to believe in god. some french philsopher came out with that one during enlightenment I believe but it does follow an intelligent path.

    Pascal's Wager overlooks 3 important points:

    1. There are mutliple world religions that have a policy of sending you to hell if you're not an exclusive member of that faith, so the wager only applies if you're lucky enough to pick the right one.

    2. It assumes that God will appreciate you only believing in him out of self interest, if a logical proof is what convinces you.

    3. It doesn't take into account the fact that if you devote your life to God in hope of reaping rewards in the afterlife, you miss out on the life you're currently living.

    Raiden333 on
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