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Which of these is the worst way to go out

PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
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Which of these is the worst way to go out 78 votes

weasels
38%
SporkAndrewMunkus BeaverRaijin QuickfootJasconiusHouk the NamebringertynicbowenVeldrinDJ EebsTheySlashThemUnbrokenEvaCrimson KingUrielBucketmanFlarneNarbusZonugalPeenUsagiDonovan Puppyfucker 30 votes
bats
11%
AshcroftMagic PinksarukunMagellLost SalientIronKnuckle's GhostTefGrogIlpala 9 votes
giant turtles
28%
ShortyNothingMulletudeRedTidesee317Indie WinterLindsay LohanGSMBorommakotDepressperadoStraightzisponoGrey GhostPeewiA Dabble Of TheloniusPinfeldorfSir PlatypusbalerbowerRomanian My EscutcheonMr Fuzzbutt 22 votes
pangolins
21%
#pipeButlerKadithDevlin_DragonusBahamutZEROph blakeRhesus PositiveSharpyVIICraigopogoElaroCaptain InertiaTynnanDisruptedCapitalistTurksonmilskiInvectivusdiscrider 17 votes
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    like

    we specifically have to die by them, right? it's not just 'are attacked by thing' the attack has to kill us?

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    RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    giant turtles
    My vote says turtles but my heart says it's being overrun by Sin Happy Vacationists

    RedTide#1907 on Battle.net
    Come Overwatch with meeeee
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    All of these situations could have been avoided by wearing a shirt and staying away from water.

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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    weasels
    Man that pangolin is about to get its shit wrecked

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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    weasels
    I feel like at least with the other three you have the excitement of getting to see a cool exotic animal or spooky bat before you die

    weasels just aren't as interesting

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Bats aren’t gonna fuck with you but for a bite and you die from a disease.

    Weasels will rip you’re flesh, that’s what they do

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Those turtles look pretty normal-sized to me

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2020
    weasels
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    I feel like at least with the other three you have the excitement of getting to see a cool exotic animal or spooky bat before you die

    weasels just aren't as interesting

    Alligator snapping turtles will jus crush your head like a melon or rip off you fedora artery if you’re lucky.
    Edit wow autocorrect, really hitting it out of the park here huh

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    weasels
    You know how tiny a weasel's mouth is and how vicious those fuckers are?

    You'll die from 10,000 tiny bites from a hundred fist sized creatures composed of pure hate and rage.

    3cl1ps3 on
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    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    weasels
    Weasels will flip the fuck out on you.

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Nobody's asked yet why'd you get attacked by pangolins in the World of Ice

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    weasels
    I saw a dude die from choking on a bowl of oatmeal that was too thick. Probably the lamest way to die.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    weasels
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    I feel like at least with the other three you have the excitement of getting to see a cool exotic animal or spooky bat before you die

    weasels just aren't as interesting

    Alligator snapping turtles will jus crush your head like a melon or rip off you fedora artery if you’re lucky.
    Edit wow autocorrect, really hitting it out of the park here huh

    m'aorta

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Lol if you think I wouldn't win a pangolin fight with nothing but the raw, throbbing power of my masculine chest and fists and also a rifle.

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    IronKnuckle's GhostIronKnuckle's Ghost This is also my fault Registered User regular
    bats
    Who exactly stopped $ex?

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Either the weasels or the vampires that ripped my flesh.

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    TynnanTynnan seldom correct, never unsure Registered User regular
    pangolins
    This, except it’s your body:

    https://youtu.be/zviV_bldpSk

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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    pangolins
    There's a proto-Chuck Tingle vibe to some of those titles.

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    Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Twinning is WinningRegistered User regular
    giant turtles
    The turtles are snapping turtles right?

    Those goddamn pinchy fuckers

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    giant turtles
    So, is this supposed to be the same guy on every one of these covers?
    Because, I really gotta ask, after the bats, the weasels and the turtles, why would you go on another trip to some far off, exotic land? It should be pretty clear by the time you're trying to beat a weasel to death with another weasel that Nature herself has it out for you, and you should really find a comfortable, secure house to stay inside. Maybe something with a paved yard all the way around, just in case a swarm of rabid moles tries to take you out in the morning when you fetch your paper.

    Of the options given, I've got to give it to turtles. I mean, the others all seem like they'd be a cool story to tell if there's an afterlife. Even "I got mauled to death by a horde of weasels" seems infinitely cooler that "Yup, killed by turtles. No, not teenage, mutant or ninja turtles. Just regular old snapping turtles. My fault really, if I hadn't been wading barefoot and bare chested through that stagnant swamp after rubbing my manly pectorals down with a hefty dose of turtle sex stench and raw meat, I'd probably have been fine."

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    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    weasels
    Turtles would be the best to die to. I bet you'd die real quick.

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    JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    weasels
    i considered weasels a threat long before this persuasive magazine cover

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    pangolins
    TheStig wrote: »
    I saw a dude die from choking on a bowl of oatmeal that was too thick. Probably the lamest way to die.

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    Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    Those pangolins aren't even attacking, just kinda crawling around. Although after the weasels, bats, and turtles I would point a gun at the next massed creature to approach.

    VRXwDW7.png
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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    giant turtles
    turtles. too many peenches

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    AthenorAthenor Battle Hardened Optimist The Skies of HiigaraRegistered User regular
    What the fuck is that magazine?

    He/Him | "A boat is always safest in the harbor, but that’s not why we build boats." | "If you run, you gain one. If you move forward, you gain two." - Suletta Mercury, G-Witch
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    CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    Bullshit. Clearly those turtles are rescuing that poor woman.

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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    giant turtles
    I dunno about MAN'S LIFE

    but there were ads for like, makeshift artillery in the back of the Boy's Life magazines I used to get

    I can only imagine how nuts that magazine is, seeing as it's from before Basic Safety was invented.

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2020
    pangolins
    2 pangolins feels like the most embarrassing
    also pangolin dinner man appears to be wielding a... tiny, pistol-sized bolt action rifle?

    BahamutZERO on
    BahamutZERO.gif
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    HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    "SIN HAPPY VACATIONISTS ARE OVERRUNNING CAPE COD"
    "HOOKED TO A KILLER SHARK"
    "CAN WOMEN JUSTIFY THEIR NEED FOR EXTRA-MARITAL RELATIONS?"
    "VODKA AND VICE"
    "THEY STOPPED $EX"
    "SOME DAMES ARE MUDER"
    "EATEN ALIVE BY KILLER PIGS"
    "SAN ANTONIO: HOME OF TEXAS' LONE-HAPPY GIRLS"
    "BELLY UP DEAD"
    "MASCULINE INADEQUACIES DRIVE WOMEN NUTS!"

    Were these actual things published? What the fuck.

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    BorommakotBorommakot Registered User regular
    giant turtles
    Going turtles because not only are you being bitten to death by something with essentially a beak, you have to die while damp too.

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    JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    weasels
    Henroid wrote: »
    "SIN HAPPY VACATIONISTS ARE OVERRUNNING CAPE COD"
    "HOOKED TO A KILLER SHARK"
    "CAN WOMEN JUSTIFY THEIR NEED FOR EXTRA-MARITAL RELATIONS?"
    "VODKA AND VICE"
    "THEY STOPPED $EX"
    "SOME DAMES ARE MUDER"
    "EATEN ALIVE BY KILLER PIGS"
    "SAN ANTONIO: HOME OF TEXAS' LONE-HAPPY GIRLS"
    "BELLY UP DEAD"
    "MASCULINE INADEQUACIES DRIVE WOMEN NUTS!"

    Were these actual things published? What the fuck.

    I mean

    Have you seen some of the shit they still print in Cosmopolitan?

    Factor in targeting men in the 50s/60s or whatever, and these covers make a bit more sense

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    discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    pangolins
    I want to die off a pangolin reflecting my bullets.

    ..I may need to revise my choice.

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    pangolins
    Pangolins are clearly the worst because look

    They're living pokemons and yeah the pain of being ripped apart by their powerful digging claws, yes the despair of leaving your family to fend for themselves in this cruel world but like...

    The betrayal

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Pangolins would probably be the worst because even if you got away from them you're still probably coming down with leprosy if they're anything like armadillos.

    Those turtles aren't nearly big enough or snappy enough to be alligator snapping turtles.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    bats
    Huh. Now I know where Wakachangi beer got the inspiration for their art

    tsarxjj9jsr7.png

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    giant turtles
    I vote turtle because I imagine the last thing that would flash through my mind before they overcome me is Shredder's face, full of disappointment and recrimination

    Indie Winter on
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    2 pangolins feels like the most embarrassing
    also pangolin dinner man appears to be wielding a... tiny, pistol-sized bolt action rifle?

    Maybe him and the pangolins are just really big

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    pangolins
    Man I was just thinking it had been a really long time since we had a poll where everyone would choose the wrong answer

    Is this really a subversive poll about which animal is the reservoir for the next apocalypse virus

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    WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    Now, hold on. That second one specifically says vampires, not a single mention of bats. My friend I think you’ve got yourself some shapeshifted draculas

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