Seventh injection go! I also ended my relationship (won’t drag down the thread with details, was not working). I am somewhat getting the fun dating app experience of getting a lot of interest from men when I have myself listed as a lesbian, so that’s new.
Almost at two months, and noticed a few changes physically. Mainly on the intimate side.
I cannot really enjoy sexual pleasure the same way. Had to buy a vibrator which was a very fun experience! My testes have shrunk a bit more and are feeling real soft. My boobs have continued to grow, but still haven’t started to properly develop into breasts. Very very tender and almost always erect though. Have to be careful about bracing boxes against my chest at work.
Big changes though have been emotionally. Like I mentioned last time, a lot more crying and sobbing. Getting used to it though.
Hey Queer thread. Feels like an age since I last posted anything here (and reading some of the threads lately, maybe that's...not such a bad thing).
But I've had a weird old time and the PA Forums have always been a place that saw me through some of my darkest times, and some of my brightest too.
So I've been getting more involved in my union (UNISON for those of you in the UK) and specifically within the LGBT+ group therein, advocating for all things equality across the public sector (because fuck knows the whole world feels like its going to hell and real quickly) and also getting very involved with the Free Palestine movement (From the river to the sea!).
Anyhoo...was at the recent new activists event we have every year in the southwest (helping out this time, as I'm hardly a new activist), and after a Saturday of painting my nails, running workshops talking about gender identity, and speaking to a motion to remove one of the last bastions of gendered representation within our union structure, I came to the somewhat introspective realisation that I wasn't quite as cis-gendered as I'd always thought. So I've moved from he/him to he/him/they/them, and taking my first steps on a new gender identity journey.
I have no idea where its going to take me, but at the age of 51, I'm oddly excited to be embarking on a new chapter in my life (carrying with me the realisation that it is -never- too late to reflect on who you thought you were and decide to be someone else). And I am doing it with frankly gorgeous nails that give me life!
So thank you queer thread for being such an important part of my life for so long, even if I've basically switched to being a lurker for a few years now.
From the river to the sea!
It's all saltwater these days:
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
it's not exactly the same but I've been tying my own shoes for 35 years and anytime I've ever been asked to tie someone else's shoes it's like I've never used my hands before
I mentioned making friends with a beautiful trans woman. She asked me to help her buy a vibrator. I drove her to a sex store, and she was almost too sheepish to go in. So I just told her I'm a tall goth bitch, my outfit is already loud as hell, they cannot shame me. So I confidently lead the way and she followed, and she was getting a bit overwhelmed so I helped her find the vibrator section. After seeing the prices I suggested she may wanna go online to get them cheaper, but she wanted to walk out with one. Eventually she decided on one... then asked if I could go check out for it, she was too embarrassed. So I did so, then we went back to her place to hang out.
We aren't dating, but uh, that felt kind of good overall? I think I liked being a bit more confident and in charge while she was adorable. Learning things about myself.
it's not exactly the same but I've been tying my own shoes for 35 years and anytime I've ever been asked to tie someone else's shoes it's like I've never used my hands before
A murderer got caught on Columbo because of that once
[Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
+7
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
I got eyebrow tattoos years ago so I just shave mine all the way off.
I never liked my real brows (they made my face look too masculine) and I'm too lazy to shape them, it got old fast.
If people ask I just tell them I had an accident involving a flame-thrower/lasers, which as a physicist, isn't that far from the truth. 👩🏻🔬🔬
i draw mine on with either pencils or powder, depending on whichever decides to cooperate that day (sometimes neither want to and it's a browless day). they're basically drag eyebrows but i get so many compliments on them. some days they are just so frustrating to do though so i should check out tattoos (i've had a few customers ask me if they were tattoos)
i do miss the texture of brow hairs but my natural brows are so light blonde that they're basically invisible and they lay so low and flat that combined with my droopy hooded eye FUPAs i had no space to do eye makeup.
As a follow up, yesterday I went to her apartment and cooked her dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs as my mother would cook it. We of course made a lot of jokes about how much she loved my balls (she liked the meatballs a lot).
I wore a very pretty dress with my choker, and after cooking I lounged around a lot feeling very beautiful and laying down elegantly (she just got her apartment after being homeless for awhile and doesn’t have much furniture yet) while she played guitar for me, and then we watched TV for a bit.
As a contrast I also really enjoyed just feeling very feminine and beautiful in a dress while she serenaded me. Still just friends though.
As a follow up, yesterday I went to her apartment and cooked her dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs as my mother would cook it. We of course made a lot of jokes about how much she loved my balls (she liked the meatballs a lot).
I wore a very pretty dress with my choker, and after cooking I lounged around a lot feeling very beautiful and laying down elegantly (she just got her apartment after being homeless for awhile and doesn’t have much furniture yet) while she played guitar for me, and then we watched TV for a bit.
As a contrast I also really enjoyed just feeling very feminine and beautiful in a dress while she serenaded me. Still just friends though.
I'm not saying it is and I'm not saying it isn't, but the description of your last two "hangouts" is giving me strong "clueless lesbian" vibes. You may want to check with them to see if they actually really like you and thought these were dates?
Haha. I wish they were. But she has specified she just wants to be friends right now (she had been homeless after getting out of an abusive relationship).
The fact that these really feel like dates is not lost on me.
Thank you! I do really like her and I’ve told her I’m crushing hard, but we can just be friends. Whatever our relationship is it’s been very beautiful. Like the time we went to go to the park, but it started pouring down rain, so instead we found a secluded spot to park the car and put the seats back to just lay and listen to the rain while we talked about ourselves and enjoyed nature.
Or a time I held her hand and let her squeeze it as she talked about trauma she hadn’t shared with anyone else and deleted pictures of her ex-husband.
And I just really enjoy her company and feel happy near her. And she feels safe around me and as though we’ve known one and other forever. I think she’s stunningly beautiful, adorable, sweet, and she is the smartest person I have ever met. And she has said I’m amazing as a person and a friend. Even if it isn’t romantic it is special.
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Seeing my new doctor tomorrow, will be talking about starting progesterone and just a smidgen of testosterone because I seem to have gone so low[<10ng] it might be contributing to some ongoing cognitive & fatigue problems.
Oh, and 8th week of estrogen. Probably will stop doing these updates as significant changes have slowed down, at least for the moment. Right now I’m still waiting on breast tissue to start developing, though they’ve still been growing a bit.
I did my injection with the lady friend I’ve been talking about. I’ve been going to her place pretty much every day. I’ll be heading over after work again today. I told her about the discussion in this thread, and she did clarify that she has not said no to dating either. She just wants to wait and see where things go, but there is a chance. And I told her I’m entirely happy with waiting and seeing.
The other fun note is she wanted to watch a movie, and she decided she was in the mood for something from the 90s. Then she saw Ace Ventura and was like “Ooh, I haven’t seen that actually.” And then I had to awkwardly explain that the movie takes a real hard turn toward transphobia in the third act. We decided on other things to do.
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
New doctor is way better than my previous set-up, gotta wait till next week though for medication adjustments after a new series of labs because previous doc wasn't ordering the correct labs
This thread in its various incarnations of the last ... :: looks at watch :: ... decade are a huge part of me coming to terms with myself being not-cis and pretty queer. Still not something I talk about much with most company but, you know, hi! Happy Pride!
Also hey @King Riptor (sorry for the @ - quoting isn't working for me right now for some reason) I don't know if that place we talked about like almost 3 years ago (holy shit) worked out or not but glad to see you here!
Went to a start of pride party on Saturday night in a cute knee length skirt with a slit, a dressy purple tank top, and a very blue short bob wig. I got a lot more compliments about my outfit from random strangers than I was prepared for. Felt real nice, but also a bit overwhelming. Also was my first time going out in heels and my calves finally stopped complaining this morning. They'll have to get used to it though, they look too good in heels not to wear them.
In the middle of my 6th week of HRT. Standard 100mg Spiro and 4mg of estradiol a day. Beard growth has slowed, and the 2-day old stubble has a far less gritty sand paper feeling. I think I can get more of a cleavage effect than I used to if I push my boobies together, so might be getting some tissue starting to form there but it may also just be my imagination at the moment.
See my doctor again on the 21st, but so far I think everything has been going as good as can be expected.
I made ribs for a big, queer cookout this past Saturday with my two girlfriends and their partners and my friends. We ate too many food but it was amazing. Afterwards we went up to the top of the parking deck after the sun went down to goof around and see the lights from the city and get some night air.
I got to wear my pan-flag-colored tropical shirt and people all told me how amazing my contributions to the bbq was.
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
For a while now I've had people say they occasionally mistake me for my brother. Today is the first time I've seen a photo of myself and mistaken myself for my brother.
For a while now I've had people say they occasionally mistake me for my brother. Today is the first time I've seen a photo of myself and mistaken myself for my brother.
(It's the hairline. Lol. Sob.)
If it helps Transfems have similar issues but it's usually our mother( and the hairline . . .)
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
+1
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
fingers crossed, only negative progesterone side effect so far is very mild tummy gurgling.
For a while now I've had people say they occasionally mistake me for my brother. Today is the first time I've seen a photo of myself and mistaken myself for my brother.
(It's the hairline. Lol. Sob.)
congratudolences!
+5
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Kane Red RobeMaster of MagicArcanusRegistered Userregular
I've been slowly expanding the circle of folks I am out to. I think my goal will be to be fully out of the closet by next Pride.
You know, inasmuch as one needs to come out of the closet as a bisexual when you're firmly entrenched in a het monogamous relationship. Still, I'd rather not continue just passing as straight forever just because it's easy.
+10
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CaptainPeacockBoard Game HoarderTop o' the LakeRegistered Userregular
I'm not ready to start dating yet, but what's a recommended queer-friendly dating/hookup app for a cis pan dude?
Cluck cluck, gibber gibber, my old man's a mushroom, etc.
I'm not ready to start dating yet, but what's a recommended queer-friendly dating/hookup app for a cis pan dude?
As a pansexual baby-trans in an ENM marriage, Feeld has been the best followed by OkCupid. There's the classic tinder or Grindr depending on what you're looking for.
There's also Plura (formally known as Bloom) for events, but that seems to be very limited geographically. Great here in the San Fran bay area, not sure about elsewhere.
Veevee on
+1
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CaptainPeacockBoard Game HoarderTop o' the LakeRegistered Userregular
Ty! Part of not being ready is I don't even know what I'm looking for right now in a relationship, or if I'm even looking for one. Was just curious about reputable outlets. Thank you!
I'm in Seattle area, so I'm sure there will coverage from major apps.
Cluck cluck, gibber gibber, my old man's a mushroom, etc.
I met another demisexual. Within the first few minutes of talking he had touched on self growth and mental health importance, on top of his experience of being a demisexual!
hey friends, had a rough week (love sobbing on the floor of the shower for the past couple days because of new trauma unearthing old, unprocessed trauma from years ago), but, but !!
had a well timed appointment to get myself a subtle pride tattoo that has helped a bit with this emotional rollercoaster : 3 -
Posts
It reminds me of this
But yeah, practice makes perfect
Almost at two months, and noticed a few changes physically. Mainly on the intimate side.
Big changes though have been emotionally. Like I mentioned last time, a lot more crying and sobbing. Getting used to it though.
But I've had a weird old time and the PA Forums have always been a place that saw me through some of my darkest times, and some of my brightest too.
So I've been getting more involved in my union (UNISON for those of you in the UK) and specifically within the LGBT+ group therein, advocating for all things equality across the public sector (because fuck knows the whole world feels like its going to hell and real quickly) and also getting very involved with the Free Palestine movement (From the river to the sea!).
Anyhoo...was at the recent new activists event we have every year in the southwest (helping out this time, as I'm hardly a new activist), and after a Saturday of painting my nails, running workshops talking about gender identity, and speaking to a motion to remove one of the last bastions of gendered representation within our union structure, I came to the somewhat introspective realisation that I wasn't quite as cis-gendered as I'd always thought. So I've moved from he/him to he/him/they/them, and taking my first steps on a new gender identity journey.
I have no idea where its going to take me, but at the age of 51, I'm oddly excited to be embarking on a new chapter in my life (carrying with me the realisation that it is -never- too late to reflect on who you thought you were and decide to be someone else). And I am doing it with frankly gorgeous nails that give me life!
So thank you queer thread for being such an important part of my life for so long, even if I've basically switched to being a lurker for a few years now.
From the river to the sea!
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
bamn. Free shoes.
We aren't dating, but uh, that felt kind of good overall? I think I liked being a bit more confident and in charge while she was adorable. Learning things about myself.
A murderer got caught on Columbo because of that once
i draw mine on with either pencils or powder, depending on whichever decides to cooperate that day (sometimes neither want to and it's a browless day). they're basically drag eyebrows but i get so many compliments on them. some days they are just so frustrating to do though so i should check out tattoos (i've had a few customers ask me if they were tattoos)
i do miss the texture of brow hairs but my natural brows are so light blonde that they're basically invisible and they lay so low and flat that combined with my droopy hooded eye FUPAs i had no space to do eye makeup.
I wore a very pretty dress with my choker, and after cooking I lounged around a lot feeling very beautiful and laying down elegantly (she just got her apartment after being homeless for awhile and doesn’t have much furniture yet) while she played guitar for me, and then we watched TV for a bit.
As a contrast I also really enjoyed just feeling very feminine and beautiful in a dress while she serenaded me. Still just friends though.
I'm not saying it is and I'm not saying it isn't, but the description of your last two "hangouts" is giving me strong "clueless lesbian" vibes. You may want to check with them to see if they actually really like you and thought these were dates?
The fact that these really feel like dates is not lost on me.
Or a time I held her hand and let her squeeze it as she talked about trauma she hadn’t shared with anyone else and deleted pictures of her ex-husband.
And I just really enjoy her company and feel happy near her. And she feels safe around me and as though we’ve known one and other forever. I think she’s stunningly beautiful, adorable, sweet, and she is the smartest person I have ever met. And she has said I’m amazing as a person and a friend. Even if it isn’t romantic it is special.
I did my injection with the lady friend I’ve been talking about. I’ve been going to her place pretty much every day. I’ll be heading over after work again today. I told her about the discussion in this thread, and she did clarify that she has not said no to dating either. She just wants to wait and see where things go, but there is a chance. And I told her I’m entirely happy with waiting and seeing.
The other fun note is she wanted to watch a movie, and she decided she was in the mood for something from the 90s. Then she saw Ace Ventura and was like “Ooh, I haven’t seen that actually.” And then I had to awkwardly explain that the movie takes a real hard turn toward transphobia in the third act. We decided on other things to do.
Also hey @King Riptor (sorry for the @ - quoting isn't working for me right now for some reason) I don't know if that place we talked about like almost 3 years ago (holy shit) worked out or not but glad to see you here!
Just a drive-by update: my new pronouns badge
And currently my most favourite thing ever (spoilered for insanely large glittery things):
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
In the middle of my 6th week of HRT. Standard 100mg Spiro and 4mg of estradiol a day. Beard growth has slowed, and the 2-day old stubble has a far less gritty sand paper feeling. I think I can get more of a cleavage effect than I used to if I push my boobies together, so might be getting some tissue starting to form there but it may also just be my imagination at the moment.
See my doctor again on the 21st, but so far I think everything has been going as good as can be expected.
I got to wear my pan-flag-colored tropical shirt and people all told me how amazing my contributions to the bbq was.
(It's the hairline. Lol. Sob.)
If it helps Transfems have similar issues but it's usually our mother( and the hairline . . .)
congratudolences!
You know, inasmuch as one needs to come out of the closet as a bisexual when you're firmly entrenched in a het monogamous relationship. Still, I'd rather not continue just passing as straight forever just because it's easy.
As a pansexual baby-trans in an ENM marriage, Feeld has been the best followed by OkCupid. There's the classic tinder or Grindr depending on what you're looking for.
There's also Plura (formally known as Bloom) for events, but that seems to be very limited geographically. Great here in the San Fran bay area, not sure about elsewhere.
I'm in Seattle area, so I'm sure there will coverage from major apps.
had a well timed appointment to get myself a subtle pride tattoo that has helped a bit with this emotional rollercoaster : 3 -