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The World [Sitcom] Grand Tournament - BEGINS!

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  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    I think Uncle Phil’s bouncer throw feat is ineffective vs Gonzo the Great

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  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    The thing about the Muppets is that Fresh Prince Will Smith is one of those rare human beings who is likely to Go Full Muppet if put into an absurd enough situation

    I mean, Carlton is basically a muppet.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • LarsLars Registered User regular
    I think Uncle Phil’s bouncer throw feat is ineffective vs Gonzo the Great

    I don't know, you ever see a muppet get back up from being thrown without a camera cut?

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Yes. Remember. In this contest they are not puppets but actual living creatures so of course they get back up. Technically we never see other actors in other shows do lots of things between scenes but they do.

    Otherwise we are really judging actors vs actors which is a whole different contest.

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  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    I don't think I ruled on this before but Gonzo doesn't get to cannonball into anyone, if that matters

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    I think Uncle Phil’s bouncer throw feat is ineffective vs Gonzo the Great

    It is exactly as effective against Gonzo as it is against Jazz. Take that for what you will.

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Also not to triple post (which I am) but I'm getting the sense that some folks just want to see The Muppets win

    so hopefully we're all considering their motivations - do they actually want to win and hurt other people? why?, their stats as living creatures that can be injured and feel pain, and their realistic skills against other living humans without the benefit of being muppets, all that good stuff

    I like the Muppets but let's not hand them a victory on a silver platter

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    They don’t have to hurt anyone to win. Why would Uncle Phil want to hurt a talking frog that ran a variety show? None of this makes sense.

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  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    I'll be honest, I wouldn't hate any of the semi-finalists from taking home the gold here, but the Muppets are an incredibly strong team that present a lot of strengths, and while they do have weaknesses, the cast covers for and complements each other in a lot of ways that can cover up those weaknesses in brawl.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2
    They don’t have to hurt anyone to win. Why would Uncle Phil want to hurt a talking frog that ran a variety show? None of this makes sense.

    They either have to hurt people or convince the other side to let them win. Uncle Phil would hurt them (or incapacitate), which he would be very good at because he realizes the transformative power of having a literal genie wish and he's a decent guy but he's also a judge with all the baggage that comes with that

    Houk the Namebringer on
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    anyway I'm starting to care about this more than I should so gonna stop thinking about it till tomorrow!

  • Crippl3Crippl3 oh noRegistered User regular
    The only way to truly settle the Muppet Show/Fresh Prince match is the most pure and dangerous form of conflict in history: a dance battle
    Muppets have no chance

  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Let me throw a question for us all to chew on, now that we're in the semi-finals:

    What do you think each show's team is hoping to use their wish for??

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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    Well obviously, the Muppets would be using it to, once again, save their studio.

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Let me throw a question for us all to chew on, now that we're in the semi-finals:

    What do you think each show's team is hoping to use their wish for??

    this is exactly what I'm thinking about that I feel like hasn't been considered nearly enough

  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Letterkenny would probably need to save Gail's bar again. Even odds.

    Or there's a dog rescue somewhere that needs funding.

  • 411Randle411Randle Librarian Oook.Registered User regular
    They could finally rebuild the vegetable stand again!

    1) Silence 2) Books must be returned by the last date shown 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality
  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    What would the fresh prince team ask for? Because I could 100% see the muppets bow out if their opponent had a wish that was important enough.

    I could also see a situation where the muppets and Letterkenny work together to solve each other’s issues. The Letterkenny team do a fundraiser for the theater and the muppets hilariously help Gail’s bar.

    We probably should have established what each team was going to wish.

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  • MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    I want to say Will would ask for a better dad, but he does eventually accept Uncle Phil as his dad. Maybe a more ephemeral wish for racial equality from Phil.

  • furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    Magell wrote: »
    I want to say Will would ask for a better dad, but he does eventually accept Uncle Phil as his dad. Maybe a more ephemeral wish for racial equality from Phil.

    As a successful black lawyer and late judge in the 90s in LA, Uncle Phil has been through some shit. To get where he is, he would have had to put up with some truly outrageous abuse and persevere through some uphill battles. I think his wish would definitely be something about improving the lives of not just people of color but all minorities, and i think he would be very very motivated to get that wish. If you take the wish out of the equation i don't think he would be willing to hurt the Muppets at all in fact.

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  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Magell wrote: »
    I want to say Will would ask for a better dad, but he does eventually accept Uncle Phil as his dad. Maybe a more ephemeral wish for racial equality from Phil.

    If it was cure racism or something the muppets would quit immediately. But like I could see Phil just donating money to the muppets for the theater if that happened.

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  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    Magell wrote: »
    I want to say Will would ask for a better dad, but he does eventually accept Uncle Phil as his dad. Maybe a more ephemeral wish for racial equality from Phil.

    As a successful black lawyer and late judge in the 90s in LA, Uncle Phil has been through some shit. To get where he is, he would have had to put up with some truly outrageous abuse and persevere through some uphill battles. I think his wish would definitely be something about improving the lives of not just people of color but all minorities, and i think he would be very very motivated to get that wish. If you take the wish out of the equation i don't think he would be willing to hurt the Muppets at all in fact.

    yup! that's exactly why I included it in the first place - a lot of these teams would never want to fight without a huge motivation, and I figured "you can have literally whatever you want" is about as motivational as you can get, whether that's a selfish wish for a billion dollars or the realization of a noble goal or whatever. For some teams even that's not enough motivation, which I think we've definitely taken into account for some of these matchups. Exactly what the wish might be is less important, in my mind, than whether or not they would want something enough to drive them to win.

    Anyway, we've got a good number of votes in but I'm about to jump off for the evening, so we'll get the finals started bright and early tomorrow most likely!

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    it's a more pure contest without quantifiers, I think.

    like, nothing about wishes or goals, just some Celebrity Deathmatch kumite

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    maybe! that would definitely give a clearer image of what sitcom characters are most inherently violent and physically capable, but that wasn't as interesting of a setup for me

    I mean the original seed for the idea was the thread about which sitcom could beat the cast of Cheers in a fight, and my natural first thought was "why would Cheers be fighting anyone anyway? what would it take to get a group like that to brawl?" hence the structure here

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    oh there would be a lot of room for guile

    I do like having a like, proper martial arts tourney for a dragon ball wish

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    If we do another one of these we should have it be just shows with normal human characters without special powers.

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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    In six months we should do Wacky Racers with sitcom duos

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    ooh that's fun! I'm not sure how you'd judge or anything but the process of picking the duos, figuring out what their vehicle would look like and what it would do and all that would be a hoot

  • discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    That format would give an unfair advantage to The Beverly Hillbillies though.

  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited July 3
    While I understand that Uncle Phil is a powerhouse, a true juggernaut without rival in his capacity to lay hands on fools within this tournament, I don't know if the rest of the team can measure up.

    I simply do not buy in to the idea floated that Carleton has some secret fighting spirit that he could tap into, one we have never seen in the series. Carleton is a fucking coward. One of his biggest bits is running around screaming. But... But! I think after enough matches, Carlton would sneak a hand gun into a future match. So, something to consider...

    I think Will could do reasonably well in a fist-fight, if it came down to it, he did fundamentally grow up on the streets. But he also has no training or technique, he simply has the natural talents of what Philadelphia in the 1980s & 1990s would provide to a young man.

    Okay, Vivian... Vivian as played by Janet Hubert-Whitten throws down, she knows how to fight. Vivian as played by Daphne Maxwell Reid? No way, no chance. A real night and day situation here... But if we have Hubert-Whitten's Vivian, Uncle Phil has a solid ally on the battlefield.

    Hilary is 100% dead weight in this tournament. She can't fight, she refuses to fight.

    Ashley doesn't bring a lot of talent to the battlefield but unlike her older sister, Ashley would at least attempt to contribute. I think she tries to support Will, but, again, I don't think Ashley really offers any positive gains in this tournament.

    Geoffrey was apparently a former sparing partner with Chuck Norris? Geoffrey is the secret ace up their sleeve for the Banks family. He's a solid opponent in this tournament.

    Jazz lets the Banks family literally use him as a human-shaped weapon against the others. With Uncle Phil this is like a sadder version of the X-Men's cannon ball special.

    Okay, so we end up with Uncle Phil, Hubert-Whitten's Vivian, and Geoffrey who are going to carry this team, especially the former. But my concern, and why I ultimately voted against them and put my lever for the Muppets, is that I think the Muppets simply represent too many chaotic fronts. The Banks family would have to be studying up for this match and even then, they'd have to prepare for joke-gag weapons (banana peels, for example), actual scientific weapons (as supplied by Honeydew and Beaker), physical threats (Miss Piggy, Animal, and Sweetums), and just so much more.

    To fight the Muppets is to fight chaos itself.

    I think the one thing that could actually motivate the Banks family (and their closest associates, as the Muppets turn this into a fuckin' BRAWL) is if they are unified in using their wish to actually erase some type of societal/cultural ill.

    Zonugal on
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  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    While I understand that Uncle Phil is a powerhouse, a true juggernaut without rival in his capacity to lay hands on fools within this tournament, I don't know if the rest of the team can measure up.

    I simply do not buy in to the idea floated that Carleton has some secret fighting spirit that he could tap into, one we have never seen in the series. Carleton is a fucking coward. One of his biggest bits is running around screaming. But... But! I think after enough matches, Carlton would sneak a hand gun into a future match. So, something to consider...

    I think Will could do reasonably well in a fist-fight, if it came down to it, he did fundamentally grow up on the streets. But he also has no training or technique, he simply has the natural talents of what Philadelphia in the 1980s & 1990s would provide to a young man.

    Okay, Vivian... Vivian as played by Janet Hubert-Whitten throws down, she knows how to fight. Vivian as played by Daphne Maxwell Reid? No way, no chance. A real night and day situation here... But if we have Hubert-Whitten's Vivian, Uncle Phil has a solid ally on the battlefield.

    Hilary is 100% dead weight in this tournament. She can't fight, she refuses to fight.

    Ashley doesn't bring a lot of talent to the battlefield but unlike her older sister, Ashley would at least attempt to contribute. I think she tries to support Will, but, again, I don't think Ashley really offers any positive gains in this tournament.

    Geoffrey was apparently a former sparing partner with Chuck Norris? Geoffrey is the secret ace up their sleeve for the Banks family. He's a solid opponent in this tournament.

    Jazz lets the Banks family literally use him as a human-shaped weapon against the others. With Uncle Phil this is like a sadder version of the X-Men's cannon ball special.

    Okay, so we end up with Uncle Phil, Hubert-Whitten's Vivian, and Geoffrey who are going to carry this team, especially the former. But my concern, and why I ultimately voted against them and put my lever for the Muppets, is that I think the Muppets simply represent too many chaotic fronts. The Banks family would have to be studying up for this match and even then, they'd have to prepare for joke-gag weapons (banana peels, for example), actual scientific weapons (as supplied by Honeydew and Beaker), physical threats (Miss Piggy, Animal, and Sweetums), and just so much more.

    To fight the Muppets is to fight chaos itself.

    I think the one thing that could actually motivate the Banks family (and their closest associates, as the Muppets turn this into a fuckin' BRAWL) is if they are unified in using their wish to actually erase some type of societal/cultural ill.

    Again, I think if the muppets discover this is the Banks’s wish they would surrender.

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  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    While I understand that Uncle Phil is a powerhouse, a true juggernaut without rival in his capacity to lay hands on fools within this tournament, I don't know if the rest of the team can measure up.

    I simply do not buy in to the idea floated that Carleton has some secret fighting spirit that he could tap into, one we have never seen in the series. Carleton is a fucking coward. One of his biggest bits is running around screaming. But... But! I think after enough matches, Carlton would sneak a hand gun into a future match. So, something to consider...

    I think Will could do reasonably well in a fist-fight, if it came down to it, he did fundamentally grow up on the streets. But he also has no training or technique, he simply has the natural talents of what Philadelphia in the 1980s & 1990s would provide to a young man.

    Okay, Vivian... Vivian as played by Janet Hubert-Whitten throws down, she knows how to fight. Vivian as played by Daphne Maxwell Reid? No way, no chance. A real night and day situation here... But if we have Hubert-Whitten's Vivian, Uncle Phil has a solid ally on the battlefield.

    Hilary is 100% dead weight in this tournament. She can't fight, she refuses to fight.

    Ashley doesn't bring a lot of talent to the battlefield but unlike her older sister, Ashley would at least attempt to contribute. I think she tries to support Will, but, again, I don't think Ashley really offers any positive gains in this tournament.

    Geoffrey was apparently a former sparing partner with Chuck Norris? Geoffrey is the secret ace up their sleeve for the Banks family. He's a solid opponent in this tournament.

    Jazz lets the Banks family literally use him as a human-shaped weapon against the others. With Uncle Phil this is like a sadder version of the X-Men's cannon ball special.

    Okay, so we end up with Uncle Phil, Hubert-Whitten's Vivian, and Geoffrey who are going to carry this team, especially the former. But my concern, and why I ultimately voted against them and put my lever for the Muppets, is that I think the Muppets simply represent too many chaotic fronts. The Banks family would have to be studying up for this match and even then, they'd have to prepare for joke-gag weapons (banana peels, for example), actual scientific weapons (as supplied by Honeydew and Beaker), physical threats (Miss Piggy, Animal, and Sweetums), and just so much more.

    To fight the Muppets is to fight chaos itself.

    I think the one thing that could actually motivate the Banks family (and their closest associates, as the Muppets turn this into a fuckin' BRAWL) is if they are unified in using their wish to actually erase some type of societal/cultural ill.

    Again, I think if the muppets discover this is the Banks’s wish they would surrender.

    Maybe Kermit would, but I feel you’re assigning too much altruism to some of those other muppets. And this shit isn’t some frog-led dictatorship.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Sure, it isn't, but you know he'll convince the gang that the Banks family are right to use their wish to help everyone. Maybe Pepe still gets a bit out of line and tries something stupid (Cause he really, really wants to wish for a bunch of bikini ladies to feed him premium plankton) but he's one Muppet. Piggy, Fozzie, and Gonzo aren't going to go against Kermit if he's really heartfelt about it, and I don't think anyone else has the pull to over rule Kermit on this. (Barring some serious shenanigans)

    2 other things to consider.

    1. Each Member of the winning team gets a wish. This means that there can be some wildly selfish wishes in the mix that might muddle how things get received.
    2. Uncle Phil is a good man. He's not perfect though, and he is but a man. While it might be responsible to wish away a societal ill, it's entirely possible in the heat of the moment he loses track of that and makes a frivolous wish, like expunging the occasion where Hilary posed for Playboy from all of reality. (Why the hell that's the one that stuck with me all these years I shall never know)

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    It just occurred to me, what would the Muppets even wish for? Like don't they basically live pretty damn happy lives? I think an impassioned speech by Uncle Phil could go as far, or maybe even father, then his raw physical prowess.

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  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    The combined wishes of each of the muppets would unleash a level of biblical chaos on this earth that I feel we are woefully unprepared for.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    It just occurred to me, what would the Muppets even wish for? Like don't they basically live pretty damn happy lives? I think an impassioned speech by Uncle Phil could go as far, or maybe even father, then his raw physical prowess.

    Already answered, to save the theater

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  • LarsLars Registered User regular
    edited July 3
    I don't think anyone on the Muppets team except Miss Piggy has the sheer motivation for getting their wish as anyone on the Banks team. Whether it be altruistic or selfish, the Banks team is in it to win it. The Banks team can also simply buyout most of the Muppets' wishes.

    Additionally, most Muppets are not useful in a fight. I can think of several instances of a human staggering around with a half-dozen or more Muppets latched onto them, and they aren't doing much more than providing a hindrance.

    As established, the only heavy hitters are really Miss Piggy, Animal, and Sweetums. Beyond that, Gonzo is unpredictable, Dr. Honeydew can provide as much super science as allowed in the tournament (though prone to very unexpected results and more likely to take out Beaker than anyone else), and while not a fighter, I'm willing to believe Fozzy can takes some hits. He seems like the kind to just keep telling bad jokes as you attempt to beat him down.

    The Muppets team planning is essentially zilch, as nothing ever goes according to plan for them (as Kermit can attest to), but at the same time, the Muppets are so unpredictable that the Banks won't really be able to plan against most of them either.

    Most of the Electric Mayhem is too chill to fight (Janice will completely refuse), Statler and Waldorf cannot throw anything at the Banks that will be anywhere close to effective, Scooter completely sucks (especially since their tournament entry is "The Muppet Show" and he was the shitty nephew of the guy who owned the theater there and was a constant pain in the ass), Rowlf is also pretty chill and like many Muppets is shown to cower in the face of violence, Pepe didn't exist at the time of the Muppet Show but even if you included him he's not bringing much to the fight.

    If you dip into more recurring characters, Bobo the Bear would actually be pretty decent, as he's bigger and more bear-like than Fozzie and has worked security, the Swedish Chef and a number of other Muppets are adept at throwing things, but the effectiveness of that depends on what they can get ahold of in the Banks home and the Muppet theater. I don't remember if explosives are allowed, so that may handicap Crazy Harry, but he also tends to just blow up whatever would entertain him and not necessarily people he should be targeting.

    My prediction? Sweetums is very easily tricked (and is also a recurring character instead of main, so it depends on if they even brought him) and Animal is easy to placate with common items, leaving Miss Piggy as the remaining physical threat. She can either be overwhelmed with force, or made to surrender by capturing Kermit (who can't really do much more than jump). At that point, if you think the remaining Muppets will continue the fight instead of being bought off or convinced to surrender, it relies entirely on their (relatively high) luck to pull the win.

    Lars on
  • LarsLars Registered User regular
    Also if another battle was to take place, I'd say a good old match of Capture the Flag would be great. It'd give opportunity to characters that aren't fighters, and could focus on other skills like speed, planning, stealth, and trickery.

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited July 3
    Alright folks, time for some results!

    With 57% of the vote, Letterkenny defeats Malcolm in the Middle! I'm not sure if I'd call this an upset exactly, but I did kind of expect MitM to win this one.
    With 59% of the vote, The Muppet Show defeats Fresh Prince of Bel-air! I absolutely did not see The Muppet Show moving on to the finals, I only included them as a kind of funny thought experiment, but here we are.

    So in our Grand Finals we've got Letterkenny vs The Muppet Show! Two teams that really couldn't be more different in their approach. Once again I'm gonna stay neutral here, but also I'm not actually gonna open up voting right away - I'd like to hear thoughts from folks a bit first so we've each got something to chew on before we make a final decision.

    One thing I'll say is that Letterkenny has a pretty deep bench, something like 8-10 reliable scrappers easy - Wayne, Daryl, Dan, Katy for planning and tactics, the McMurrays, Reilly and Jonesy, Gail and Tanis, and Stewart and Roald might add some value in a pinch - so the Muppets have a lot of leeway in the team they want to field. I've mentioned this before, but with each fight I've tried to think about like, okay if each team was going to win, what would be their best approach and what are the chances they could actually pull it off? A lot to chew on for this one!

    I'll throw up a voting link later tonight most likely.

    Houk the Namebringer on
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Central OhioRegistered User regular
    edited July 3
    I don’t think many folks anticipated this final after the first 1.5 threads of this topic but I can’t say that isn’t a strong final 2

    I guess that’s at least 2 sitcom casts that can take Cheers in a fight

    Captain Inertia on
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