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It was all a misunderstanding, I simply went to the bank to make a small withdrawal and accidentally brought my gun instead of my wallet with me 6 or 7 times.
My mental health is shit I hate it more like mental shit
+3
SurfpossumA nonentitytrying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered Userregular
My mental health is great, I just worked too hard the last couple of weeks and then after things were at long last resolved today (culminating with me coordinating some things with our European, Mexican and Australian counterparts) my wife tearfully showed me a cat that she wants to go meet this weekend
I love having the thought of needing to deal with our dogs and other cat all creating hell for a few months hanging over this evening where I thought I could finally start unwinding
Given the whole things where it gets dumped into your brain when you die, I'm really glad the experiences I've had on DMT has been pretty universally positive. I've never really taken enough to fully disassociate, so maybe the space elves won't like me.
I know folks end up in dark places with Ayahuasca on a regular basis, so ymmv I guess.
I had a very emotional dissociative experience on lemon tek psilocybin that I would describe as positive, though I also think the trip worsened my nihilism after the fact
Ultimately I’m not sure how I feel about it. I definitely don’t want to do it again, despite getting a solid 2-3 months of good mental health after it. It just made everything from that point on feel extremely pointless and hollow, like I had uncovered some great immutable truths about the universe and my place in it and it was all bad news.
I really haven’t been the same since.
Hmm Atomika you only got a few months of mental health? How long have you (or other people who have done psilocybin, redx I want to say? Maaaaybe @RiemannLives , I can't remember) had better mental health last?
Studies suggest six months to a year but I am three months out from doing it and definitely not doing as well as I was at basically any point in the last three months.
I think those three months of good health is probably the longest continuous span I’ve had in ten years
But it’s been a rocky ten years 🙃
I don’t think I’ve had more than a few days strung together here and there otherwise
I am, in a way, glad to hear that, since I was like "it's been two or three months, the effects can't be wearing off" and thought something was broken. But also that sucks. It should last us all as long as we want? Though your case with pointlessness and hollowness maybe not, that is an unfortunate experience
I wish I could articulate it better. The gist of the nihilism was derived from how truthful and concrete the insights felt (and still feel):
Just spoiling the rest to not foist my signature downerism upon people unless they’re into it:
- anyone who ever loved me when I was still capable of trusting people and feeling safe are all dead now
- karma isn’t real and nothing is ever going to fix or account for what happened
- god isn’t real and there’s no afterlife or continuity of consciousness, so that’s fun
And yet I would still rate the experience positively, at least for providing some relief, even if temporary. I think I have some specific issues affecting my mental health that aren’t terribly uniform to the experiences of most that make me finding any real or lasting improvement difficult.
Even at my absolute healthiest, the best I get is passive aversion to the issues that affect me, where instead of finding pathways to optimism or meaningful lasting change, I just get a respite from how deeply I feel affected for a bit.
0
ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
Given the whole things where it gets dumped into your brain when you die, I'm really glad the experiences I've had on DMT has been pretty universally positive. I've never really taken enough to fully disassociate, so maybe the space elves won't like me.
I know folks end up in dark places with Ayahuasca on a regular basis, so ymmv I guess.
I had a very emotional dissociative experience on lemon tek psilocybin that I would describe as positive, though I also think the trip worsened my nihilism after the fact
Ultimately I’m not sure how I feel about it. I definitely don’t want to do it again, despite getting a solid 2-3 months of good mental health after it. It just made everything from that point on feel extremely pointless and hollow, like I had uncovered some great immutable truths about the universe and my place in it and it was all bad news.
I really haven’t been the same since.
Hmm Atomika you only got a few months of mental health? How long have you (or other people who have done psilocybin, redx I want to say? Maaaaybe @RiemannLives , I can't remember) had better mental health last?
Studies suggest six months to a year but I am three months out from doing it and definitely not doing as well as I was at basically any point in the last three months.
I think those three months of good health is probably the longest continuous span I’ve had in ten years
But it’s been a rocky ten years 🙃
I don’t think I’ve had more than a few days strung together here and there otherwise
I am, in a way, glad to hear that, since I was like "it's been two or three months, the effects can't be wearing off" and thought something was broken. But also that sucks. It should last us all as long as we want? Though your case with pointlessness and hollowness maybe not, that is an unfortunate experience
I wish I could articulate it better. The gist of the nihilism was derived from how truthful and concrete the insights felt (and still feel):
Just spoiling the rest to not foist my signature downerism upon people unless they’re into it:
- anyone who ever loved me when I was still capable of trusting people and feeling safe are all dead now
- karma isn’t real and nothing is ever going to fix or account for what happened
- god isn’t real and there’s no afterlife or continuity of consciousness, so that’s fun
And yet I would still rate the experience positively, at least for providing some relief, even if temporary. I think I have some specific issues affecting my mental health that aren’t terribly uniform to the experiences of most that make me finding any real or lasting improvement difficult.
Even at my absolute healthiest, the best I get is passive aversion to the issues that affect me, where instead of finding pathways to optimism or meaningful lasting change, I just get a respite from how deeply I feel affected for a bit.
That is all rough. The medicine makes things feel real (paradoxically, while making things less real). I guess how "good" it is is somewhat separated from the positivity of it.
+1
ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
My mental health is great, I just worked too hard the last couple of weeks and then after things were at long last resolved today (culminating with me coordinating some things with our European, Mexican and Australian counterparts) my wife tearfully showed me a cat that she wants to go meet this weekend
I love having the thought of needing to deal with our dogs and other cat all creating hell for a few months hanging over this evening where I thought I could finally start unwinding
I am in no way trying to one-up anyone, just if we're doing sad posting
we ordered shwarma and I struggled really badly just trying to seperate the utensils out and then when we sat down I couldnt remember how to eat food like I had a fork in my hand and the food was in front of me and I couldn't figure out the next step. I got there after a bit but I am fucking terrified and partner is worried I'm gonna resign my position with the universe.
0
AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
I am in no way trying to one-up anyone, just if we're doing sad posting
we ordered shwarma and I struggled really badly just trying to seperate the utensils out and then when we sat down I couldnt remember how to eat food like I had a fork in my hand and the food was in front of me and I couldn't figure out the next step. I got there after a bit but I am fucking terrified and partner is worried I'm gonna resign my position with the universe.
It’s one of those things from the toxic masculinity grifter sphere, analyzing body language; the idea is essentially the partner that “leans in” is weaker and the partner that stands vertically is the more powerful one in the relationship.
It shows up a lot in memes, almost always mockingly.
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
+2
AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
Now Playing:
Celeste [Switch] - She'll be wrestling with inner demons when she comes...
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age [Switch] - Sit down and watch our game play itself
+1
AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
It’s one of those things from the toxic masculinity grifter sphere, analyzing body language; the idea is essentially the partner that “leans in” is weaker and the partner that stands vertically is the more powerful one in the relationship.
It shows up a lot in memes, almost always mockingly.
I feel this science is based wholly on poses nerdy dudes do with the booth girls at gaming conventions
I am in no way trying to one-up anyone, just if we're doing sad posting
we ordered shwarma and I struggled really badly just trying to seperate the utensils out and then when we sat down I couldnt remember how to eat food like I had a fork in my hand and the food was in front of me and I couldn't figure out the next step. I got there after a bit but I am fucking terrified and partner is worried I'm gonna resign my position with the universe.
Hon this sounds so much like serotonin toxicity.
I'm not taking anything that would be affecting that though. Anywho I refuse to not sleep tonight so I just threw back some benadryl and melatonin.
It’s one of those things from the toxic masculinity grifter sphere, analyzing body language; the idea is essentially the partner that “leans in” is weaker and the partner that stands vertically is the more powerful one in the relationship.
It shows up a lot in memes, almost always mockingly.
I feel this science is based wholly on poses nerdy dudes do with the booth girls at gaming conventions
How are you supposed to get a kiss from them if you don't lean in?
AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
I’ve been here long enough to have thoughts about SLC now
- Very clean. Very.
- Tiny. there are small neighborhoods in most big cities with more people. Have you ever heard of McKinney, TX? Of course not. It’s a farm town near the Oklahoma border with nothing there more exciting than a car dealership. It’s only the 17th biggest city in Texas, but it’s bigger than SLC.
- The desolate beauty and craggy mountains really reminds me of Scotland. And the groundwater is crystal clear 👀. Wild. It’s a very pretty place.
- The people are pleasant enough but the church stuff is everywhere, though much more insidious than in evangelical areas, and you can tell from the way a lot of the locals dress they’re on the far fringe of publicly-acceptable fundamentalism. Floor-length skirts on women and even little girls, no makeup, basically Amish-lite.
- Houses here are shockingly expensive, which I guess is due to rich folks from out of state wintering here? This doesn’t seem like the kind of place anyone would want to put down roots unless they’re LDS.
- Everything here seems very new. Nothing feels like it’s more than a decade old. It’s nice and modern but definitely removes any sense or feel of history.
+1
AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
It’s one of those things from the toxic masculinity grifter sphere, analyzing body language; the idea is essentially the partner that “leans in” is weaker and the partner that stands vertically is the more powerful one in the relationship.
It shows up a lot in memes, almost always mockingly.
I feel this science is based wholly on poses nerdy dudes do with the booth girls at gaming conventions
How are you supposed to get a kiss from them if you don't lean in?
I usually just offer them cocaine and give them my hotel suite number
It’s one of those things from the toxic masculinity grifter sphere, analyzing body language; the idea is essentially the partner that “leans in” is weaker and the partner that stands vertically is the more powerful one in the relationship.
It shows up a lot in memes, almost always mockingly.
I feel this science is based wholly on poses nerdy dudes do with the booth girls at gaming conventions
How are you supposed to get a kiss from them if you don't lean in?
I usually just offer them cocaine and give them my hotel suite number
Smooth.
0
AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
I am in no way trying to one-up anyone, just if we're doing sad posting
we ordered shwarma and I struggled really badly just trying to seperate the utensils out and then when we sat down I couldnt remember how to eat food like I had a fork in my hand and the food was in front of me and I couldn't figure out the next step. I got there after a bit but I am fucking terrified and partner is worried I'm gonna resign my position with the universe.
Hon this sounds so much like serotonin toxicity.
I'm not taking anything that would be affecting that though. Anywho I refuse to not sleep tonight so I just threw back some benadryl and melatonin.
Have you done the cross-references, though? Serotonin Syndrome is kinda like the Joker’s plot in Batman 89; there’s no one single medication that causes it.
I think my current spate of symptoms comes from the fact I’ve had to use zofran a lot lately for some nausea while also on a new antidepressant, and the combo is what did it. The last time I had a long episode was over a year ago when due to some spinal fluid problems I needed a lot of zofran while I was also trying a new antidepressant.
When I visited slc it seemed very monocultural. It wouldn’t surprise me if there wasn’t a lot of non waspy food and art. But also with the missions maybe you would end up hearing other languages and seeing Laotian food or whatever.
I was watching a couple of videos about Ironmouse except for the occasional random youtube recommendation out of nowhere. Her story seems like it comes from an earlier, more hopeful era of the internet.
Like, girl started streaming because she's bedridden and can't meet people and was really lonely, and she went from that to being the highest subbed streamer on twitch?
It's like, oh right, that's the kind of nice thing that the internet was supposed to be for before EvilCorp moved in.
A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
Posts
What about all those banks you robbed
Can’t believe they’re even letting you vote!!
tbh
Probably
Who can say
I mean Im still an anxious wreck but Im marginally less hateful of everyone
If that sounds helpful,
It was all a misunderstanding, I simply went to the bank to make a small withdrawal and accidentally brought my gun instead of my wallet with me 6 or 7 times.
Clearly I must serve as a control and just do so many shrooms I want to hug the sky and take a nap with all my favorite cartoon characters.
I love having the thought of needing to deal with our dogs and other cat all creating hell for a few months hanging over this evening where I thought I could finally start unwinding
Rating: Pretty murdery
Hmm
A bunch, you say
I wish I could articulate it better. The gist of the nihilism was derived from how truthful and concrete the insights felt (and still feel):
Just spoiling the rest to not foist my signature downerism upon people unless they’re into it:
- karma isn’t real and nothing is ever going to fix or account for what happened
- god isn’t real and there’s no afterlife or continuity of consciousness, so that’s fun
And yet I would still rate the experience positively, at least for providing some relief, even if temporary. I think I have some specific issues affecting my mental health that aren’t terribly uniform to the experiences of most that make me finding any real or lasting improvement difficult.
Even at my absolute healthiest, the best I get is passive aversion to the issues that affect me, where instead of finding pathways to optimism or meaningful lasting change, I just get a respite from how deeply I feel affected for a bit.
That is all rough. The medicine makes things feel real (paradoxically, while making things less real). I guess how "good" it is is somewhat separated from the positivity of it.
Noooo relaxation is so important
Terrible to have it stolen
Hon this sounds so much like serotonin toxicity.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Is it loss
tl;dr Ireland>GB
It shows up a lot in memes, almost always mockingly.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Anyway
Americans lean
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Or Maybe Arnie Hammer
Someone
Armie Hammer said Americans are lean and that’s why you gotta use a slow-cooker
Sorry, but the green line doesn't lie.
Celeste [Switch] - She'll be wrestling with inner demons when she comes...
Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age [Switch] - Sit down and watch our game play itself
I feel this science is based wholly on poses nerdy dudes do with the booth girls at gaming conventions
But at this point it’s so poisoned for me by incels and evopsychs that I would need Mr Rogers to explain any findings for me to trust them
I'm not taking anything that would be affecting that though. Anywho I refuse to not sleep tonight so I just threw back some benadryl and melatonin.
How are you supposed to get a kiss from them if you don't lean in?
literally the first two thoughts i had, exactly
- Very clean. Very.
- Tiny. there are small neighborhoods in most big cities with more people. Have you ever heard of McKinney, TX? Of course not. It’s a farm town near the Oklahoma border with nothing there more exciting than a car dealership. It’s only the 17th biggest city in Texas, but it’s bigger than SLC.
- The desolate beauty and craggy mountains really reminds me of Scotland. And the groundwater is crystal clear 👀. Wild. It’s a very pretty place.
- The people are pleasant enough but the church stuff is everywhere, though much more insidious than in evangelical areas, and you can tell from the way a lot of the locals dress they’re on the far fringe of publicly-acceptable fundamentalism. Floor-length skirts on women and even little girls, no makeup, basically Amish-lite.
- Houses here are shockingly expensive, which I guess is due to rich folks from out of state wintering here? This doesn’t seem like the kind of place anyone would want to put down roots unless they’re LDS.
- Everything here seems very new. Nothing feels like it’s more than a decade old. It’s nice and modern but definitely removes any sense or feel of history.
I usually just offer them cocaine and give them my hotel suite number
Smooth.
Have you done the cross-references, though? Serotonin Syndrome is kinda like the Joker’s plot in Batman 89; there’s no one single medication that causes it.
I think my current spate of symptoms comes from the fact I’ve had to use zofran a lot lately for some nausea while also on a new antidepressant, and the combo is what did it. The last time I had a long episode was over a year ago when due to some spinal fluid problems I needed a lot of zofran while I was also trying a new antidepressant.
That's "lean back on whim"
Like, girl started streaming because she's bedridden and can't meet people and was really lonely, and she went from that to being the highest subbed streamer on twitch?
It's like, oh right, that's the kind of nice thing that the internet was supposed to be for before EvilCorp moved in.